Journals D'amour
by DylanLovesBrenda
Summary: Eliot finds a hidden unpublished book written by her father. Love Journals is about his lost love. If her father has a lost love, then why has he been married to her mother for 15 years? Takes place present time. Look at my profile name...you know this is NOT a KD fic...over my dead body!
1. Chapter 1

**_J_ _ournal_ _D'amour_**

 _ **Prologue**_

Eliot ran her fingers across the spine of the books that lined the shelves, Walt Whitman, Sylvia Plath, E.E. Cummings, Emily Dickerson, W.B. Yeats, Charles Baudelaire, Arthur Rimbaud, Honoré de Balzac, Lord Byron. She smiled as she saw her name sake, T.S. Eliot. She took it out and skimmed it's pages. Eliot wasn't one of her favorites but she appreciated it, knowing she was named after the famous British poet. She went to carefully put the book back.

"El?" She jumped, startled as a few books dropped to the ground.

"Jesus By…you scared the crap out of me!"

He smirked, "Sorry."

She bent down to gather the books that fell.

"I'm going to the movies with Emma…you want to come?"

"No. Thanks though." she answered her brother stacking the fallen books in her arms before righting herself. She turned and gave her brother a sad smile.

"You sure, it will be fun?" he asked, a worrisome tone to his voice now.

"Yes…I'm sure…being the third wheel while you and your girlfriend make out doesn't sound like fun." she rolled her eyes.

"Come on Eliot…I hate to see you like this. You haven't left the house in over a week. Aidan won't be there and either will that heffer Audrey. I'm worried about you."

Eliot winced at the sound of her ex boyfriend and ex best friend's names, who now were a couple. She sighed as she held the fallen books in her arms still, "I'm ok By…I promise…have a good time…tell Emma I'll call her tomorrow, maybe we can go shopping or something, a girls day out." She tried to sound okay for her brother, she was not okay.

Audrey Roberts was her best friend, or used to be. They met in Mr. Granger's health class in junior high and had been inseparable ever since. Aidan was Eliot's first boyfriend, first love, first kiss…first everything and they had been dating for 2 1/2 years. He had dumped her over a week ago for her former best friend. Byron, her brother was the only one who knew this, well and of course the student body of West Beverly. Her parents did not.

"Alright sis…if you change your mind, text me."

"K" Eliot turned back to the book shelf.

"El?" he called out peeking his head back into his fathers study.

"Yeah." she turned towards him.

"I love you." he said wholeheartedly.

Eliot smiled at her brother, she nodded, "I know…I'm fine you know." she called out hearing him leave the vicinity of the study and through the front door. "At least I'm trying to be." she whispered to herself. The truth was Eliot was heartbroken. She shook her head of thoughts of Aidan and Audrey and started to return the books that fell. She stopped seeing a very hidden unmarked leather bound book. She had never seen this one before and she had visited her father's study often. It was almost deliberately hidden behind the tons of poetry books in her father's collection. She set the fallen books on the table and reached in to grab it. She moved her right hand across it, clearing off the dust that it had collected back there. She looked towards the study door. Her parents were on a trip. It was their anniversary and they weren't expected back for another week, her brother Byron had left too, hearing the rumble of his speedster leave to go on his date with Emma. Still being alone in her home she felt as though this leather bound book was private. She bit her lip and thought, what the hell? I mean it could be nothing special at all. The pull at her heart though, told her it wasn't and she also felt like she wasn't suppose to read it. She opened it carefully, typed out on the first page read, Journal D'amour by D. M. McKay. Her eyes grew wide seeing her last name. She knew her father loved the classics, she knew his love of poetry, after all she was like him in that aspect, that was something she inherited from him unlike her brother. He may have been named after Lord Byron but he didn't have a poetic bone in his body. But what she didn't know was that he wrote an unpublished book, D. M. McKay was obviously short for Dylan Michael McKay, her father. She closed it quickly and held it against her chest. Almost as a nervous habit she looked toward the study door again. She took a deep breath and made her way out of the study and up to her room. After all, she just found a book written by her father. Even if she wasn't suppose to find it, he had kept it pretty well hidden considering she read through his collection all the time and she had never discovered it before. With a title like Love Journals translated from french to english how could she not read it? As she lay on her stomach, feet crossed in the air, she opened the book again. Looking at the title for another moment she turned the page. The dedication…

 _To the woman that saved me from myself._

 _With you, the earth was a bed of grass_

 _We slept in it like two seeds_

 _With you, I was more than I am_

 _Your mouth, the sun_

 _Made everything possible_

 _I burn with the love that I lost_

 _When I lost you_

 _Jack Grapes_

Eliot eyebrows pulled together. Who? Someone my dad loved and lost? She wondered if her mother knew. She wondered if this was why this book was never published? She also wondered was this why it was hidden? Her mother would have never went through those shelfs. She took a deep breath scared to turn the page. Eliot was a romantic at heart. Her parents were celebrating their fifteen year wedding anniversary. They seemed to be in love. They had a long history dating back to high school even and off and on through the years. They had known each other since they were kids. They got along for the most part. Everyone fought every once in a while. She even argued with her brother often and she loved him. She also knew math was never her strong suit but her parents were celebrating 15 years of marriage and she was 17 years old. Her parents had had an oopsie, which grossed her out but she saw them in person to see how or why that could have occurred. They were always kissing, hugging…they were best friends. _Holy shit,_ Eliot thought _, maybe my mom wasn't my dads first choice?_ _Maybe she wasn't his soul mate like she had heard them claim before?_ She took a deep breath afraid to continue. What if Eliot's mom wasn't the great love of her fathers life? She thought about Aidan, how she thought he was the love of her life, apparently he was not. She swallowed hard and slowly turned the page.

 _November 15, 1990_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _So this is my newest story. I know don't throw your computers, laptops, cell phones or other portable devices at me. I haven't forgotten about my other stories. This idea came to me recently while listening to a cover of Losing My Religion and I just HAD to put it down on paper. Obviously you know Dylan has kids, not gonna say who their mother is, not going to say why this book is hidden but I will say the book is about Brenda and it is 2017. Which would mean Eliot here was born in 2000, and that my friends is when 90210 ended. Guess away! Please review, let me know if you are as intrigued as Eliot._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 1**_

 _ **Lost Love Revealed**_

 _November 15, 1990_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _School just got a little more compelling. Today I met a girl that intrigues me. She's attractive and sexy. She seems innocent and sweet. I don't think she's my normal type but what is my normal type anyway? I have seen her around before, 2 weeks ago I saw her with Brandon. He was giving her a ride some where. I didn't talk to her. I did still notice her even though Brandon's Minnesota girlfriend was freaking out over my Porsche. SHE didn't seem to care much about my car or know I was alive. She was in a rush it seemed. Today though, she finally did notice me. We said hello, I stared into her eyes and tried to play it as cool as possible. I'm pretty sure Kelly saw right through me. I was instantly smitten. We'll see, I hope to see her around more. She definitely isn't your typical Beverly Hills princess, I think that's why I'm so attracted to her._

 _Dylan_

 _November 18, 1990_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _She likes my butt…or my bike…I think both! Her hair had a new color. Not good but not that bad either. She looked so sexy in her tank top it was hard to look at her weird color hair. Maybe she is punk? She really didn't seem like it though. Well I offered to help her out and I took her to see Louie. He fixed that awful, orange was it hair color? Who freaking knows. She rode on my bike and I just remember her tank top chest against my back. God Dylan you're obsessed. Her hair looks_ _incandescent_ _. She didn't really need a new hair color to look radiant or brilliant. I wonder if Brandon would care if I asked her out?_

 _Dylan_

 _January 1,1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Happy New Year! I can't believe I'm actually still writing in this journal my dad got me from god knows where. It was his Christmas present he sent from Paris. He gave it to me in the beginning of November though. Diary you can't see me right not but I'm rolling my eyes. My father is an asshole. I hope he isn't coming home soon. He may not be here often but my new years resolution is to continue to write in this, I think it's good for me. Also to stop drinking. I spent New Years alone again and drank almost a whole bottle of Scotch. I threw up all night. My head hurts today. I wonder what miss pretty incandescent is doing? Maybe I should see if Brandon wants to work on his piece of crap car this weekend. I'm gonna ask him. Maybe she'll be there?_

 _Dylan_

 _January 3, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _So much for winter, LA is having a major heat wave. Something else happened. As I lay in my new room, dad gave up the suite, long story. Something about laying low. Anyway all I can think about is her. She came out with Brandon and myself to a movie tonight. Let me back up. I shamelessly asked Brandon if he wanted me to help him with his car. He happily accepted and as we were working on it Brenda came home. As I sat quietly from under Mondale. I heard her just be herself. How she is with her brother. It was honest and kind of cute. She was babysitting and looking everywhere for dirty dancing. A little too chick like for me but I got a glimpse that she enjoys movies, I like movies. I wanted to get to know her. As I rolled out from under the car all I saw was the hottest set of legs I had seen in a long time. She flirted with me right in front of her brother and I again shamelessly checked her out in front of Brandon. There was a spark between us and he saw it. I got a rag to the face for it but I don't think Brandon was mad or anything. I like Brandon. We have a good time together. The weird thing is that Brandon is good for me. He is straight and considerate. I can see myself being friends with him for a long time. That brings me to Brenda, I like the way she makes me feel. Her eyes see through me. It's the weirdest feeling. She makes me nervous but in a good way. It's a feeling of belonging I haven't ever felt before. She makes me feel special. She caught me in the shower. I'm not going to lie I left the doors open in hopes she might. She came barreling in yelling at her brother and as I pulled the shower curtain back mine were met with her gorgeous eyes, she looked embarrassed but that only lasted for a second because then her eyes were wandering. Instead of making me feel awkward or ogled, I felt horny. UGH! There is just something about her. Am I crazy? The movie night was fun but uneventful. We just hung out as friends. I'd catch a look, a lingering stare every once in a while but we just enjoyed each others company. I can see myself falling for this girl and thats' scary but the weirdest thing is…it feels right not scary at all. I want to be alone with her._

 _Dylan_

 _January 10, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Holy shit! Holy fucking shit! It happened! We went on an actual date. I was finally alone with her and I almost fucked it up! Let me start at the beginning. I called the Walsh house to see what time I should get them for the movie. Brenda answered and after a full two minutes of flirting, she sadly told me Brandon had woke up with a terrible cold and he was out of commission. I just came out and asked if she still wanted to go? With me…alone. She accepted with zero hesitation. I had a feeling she wanted to be alone with me as much as I did. Her incredible smile when I picked her up. The way her hair was pulled back, away from her face. A little messy around the curve of it. She is breathtaking. I'm a respectful guy, I try to be but I'm also 16, I wanted to take her back to my house. After asking if she wanted to shine on the movie, I did that, I took her back to my house. The problem though was…my fucking father was there. I haven't seen him in many months. This journal was some sort of peace offering and he hadn't even given it to me myself. Part of me was embarrassed, she heard my father yelling at me I'm sure. She came from the most coddled existence of anyone I know. And she saw the opposite. How neglected, how troubled, how insignificant I truly was. All she wanted to do was be there for me, support me and I lost it. I lost the cool layer I tried so hard daily to cover myself with. I was almost mad at her. For being so perfect, so amazing, so understanding and not judgmental. When I threw the pot it wasn't to scare her it was because all this anger rose from so deep within I had to let it out some how. My father always gets to me. I can't help it. There is so much resentment deep inside. I just can't help it. Then I saw her run from me. In those 2 seconds my heart broke that I had ruined everything. Then I was scared, I was scared she wasn't going to be amazing towards me anymore, she wasn't going to understand something she had no clue about, she was going to judge me, she was going to leave me like everyone always did. So I ran after her. As I hugged her from behind, I whispered I was sorry over and over. I didn't want her to leave. As I turned her around with force I saw her eyes. The sweet innocent look was replaced with fear, she told me I was scaring her so I released my grip on her. I didn't want her to be scared of me, I didn't want her to be scared with me ever. I wanted to make her feel as safe as she unintentionally made me feel. Everything was too much, I broke down, I did something that I had never done before. I let down my wall and bawled like a little bitch. Did she run away from me? No she comforted me. I hugged her and instantly felt better. I felt free. As my eyes met hers my heart was beating out of my chest as I tried to catch my breath. Then it happened, I feel in love with her. Just like that. We shared an amazingly intense first kiss. There was such a need in each other, from both sides. I clung to her like my life depended on it and she clung to me. I needed this girl like I needed air to breath. From that kiss everything seemed easy, I told her that my father had deserted me, kicking me out. I told her I hadn't talked to him in over a year. I told her things were better with him now but it was always like this. It was no picnic and my father and I had a tiresome relationship. I was honest for once in my life and it felt good. At first I was afraid she would rat me out. To Brandon, maybe to the kids at school but as she looked into my eyes as we sat outside her house I knew I could trust her. I knew we had connected on another level and I think she loved me too. There is two things I'm now very aware of after tonight. The first thing, Brenda makes me want to be a better person. I want her to be proud of me. She sees something in me that I didn't know ever existed. She makes me feel safe and I need her in my life. And the second, which is so strong I never thought it even possible. I was in love with her. I was in love with Brenda Walsh after one date._

 _Dylan_

Eliot slammed the book shut and pulled it to her chest as she sat up. A smile crossed her face. This unpublished book _was_ about her mother. There was so many questions running through her head. The dedication, the Jack grapes poem, _I burned with the love that I lost when I lost you_. Eliot knew her parents had a long history, what exactly went on in that history was a mystery but lost her, how did he lose her? They had obviously been together for 17 years. They've been married for 15 of them. This was their story, well from her fathers point of view anyway. Why hide it? It seemed beautiful.

"El?" Byron peaked his head into her room making her jump again.

"Fuck By…stop doing that!" she breathed out.

"God sorry…why are you so jumpy? Didn't you hear me come in?"

"Seriously, this house is a fortress, I didn't hear shit." Byron came and sat on her bed as he chuckled. Their house was big.

"What's that?" he pointed to the leather bound book now on her lap.

Eliot took a deep a breath, "You will never guess what I found, hidden in dad's study, he wrote a book about mom."

Byron took the book from her and flipped through it. He stopped on a page towards the back, he read out loud. "It was an amazing wedding. Donna and David were actually married. It was an incredible sight to see. Brenda didn't come though. Something about a play, I was more than a little disappointed. Brandon didn't come back to LA either. Maybe it was better. Maybe it was suppose to be like this. Less complicated, now I could fully give myself over to this thing happening again with a certain unnamed blonde."

Eliot snatched the book from her brother. "Don't skip ahead."

Byron laughed, "What blonde…I thought you said it was about mom?"

"I don't know." Eliot spoke softly looking down at the book again. She skimmed her hand gently across it thinking. "I haven't gotten that far yet."

"Well how far did you get?" Byron seemed interested, even though he wasn't very literary.

"Their meeting…first date?" Eliot smiled a dreamy smile at her brother which made him roll his eyes.

"God you're so dreamy and sweet it's disgusting." Byron shook his head.

Eliot took a deep breath, "Yeah…too sweet apparently." she muttered thinking about Aidan.

Byron tilted his head, his hand come up to his sisters shoulder as he squeezed gently.

"Why are you home so early? How was the movie?" Eliot changed the subject.

Byron's hand fell from his sister, "We didn't make the movie. We went by the pit instead. Had dinner." He took a deep breath, "I saw Aidan." he spoke softly.

Eliot looked at her brother, "With who?" she asked afraid of the answer.

Byron shrugged, "Alone actually. I talked to him for a few but it didn't end well." He looked down sadly.

"By…Aidan is one of your best friends. You can't let what happened between us ruin that. It isn't anything personal with you and him. He fell in love with Audrey. It is what it is." Tears filled her eyes and she cursed herself for letting her brother see them.

"Oh yes I can. Eliot you are my best friend. And if that isn't enough…you are my twin sister. He hurt you and that is very fucking personal."

Eliot looked down and sighed. Her brother was loyal. She wasn't going to win this battle. She just hoped someday, after things settled a little they would find their friendship again. "He asked about you." he added softly.

Her head came up surprised, "Really?" why did she even care?

"Do you want to hear this kind of stuff, do you want to know about him?" The last thing Byron wanted to do was make his sister more upset. The new coupling of Aidan and Audrey was weird for everyone in their group.

"What did he say?" she asked.

Byron shrugged, "He asked if you were okay?"

"And…what did you tell him?" she hoped he hadn't said she was miserable. She wanted to hold on to her pride at the moment because this last week, it was all she had.

"I told him you were fine. And I told him if he cared so much then why didn't he have the balls to ask you himself. He said he did care about you, he always would and then we argued and Emma and I left." He shook his head as he sighed.

Eliot was quiet, not really knowing what to say. She hadn't really given Aidan a chance to ask. He had called her a couple times and she hadn't picked up. She hadn't left her house besides to attend school and she kept her distance from them.

"So this book huh? it sounds pretty interesting." Byron thought for a moment. "Donna and David had been married since what, 2000? That was 17 years ago. We're 17 and here dad is talking about some blonde. You'll have to tell me what happens." He got up off the bed to head into his own room. Eliot smiled, she was wondering the same thing. Now that her idiot brother skipped ahead for a second, she was curious on how her parents got together. Got together enough to conceive them anyway.

Her cell phone rang loudly, she looked over at the face plate. She picked it up holding it up for Byron to see. "Speak of the devil." she smiled and answered.

"Hey dad."

"Hey darlin…how's my little girl doing?"

"Dad…I'm not a little girl." Eliot rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah…so you keep telling me. How's the home front, you and your brother behaving? I don't hear any loud music. No parties going on or anything." Dylan chuckled. Eliot hit speaker as Byron came back over siting again on his sisters bed.

"Hi dad." he called out.

Dylan hit speaker as well as Brenda's voice came over the phone.

"Hey guys."

Hey mom." they both called out.

Eliot continued, "No Dad…no parties. How's France?"

"Well France is wonderful. We rented a limo today and it took us out into the french country. We had a picnic…it was great." their fathers tone was sweet and then they wrinkled their nose hearing their mother giggle, kissing sounds came through the phone.

"Gross guys." Eliot whined and Byron laughed. He wiggled his eyebrows at his sister. As he heard their parents laugh over the speaker.

"What have you guys been up too?" Brenda asked interested.

"I took Emma to the pit tonight. And Eliot here stayed home reading." he took the leather bound book from her lap and rolled his eyes with a sigh. She shook her head, _don't tell them_ she mouthed.

"That's my girl. Is that all, you guys are alone?" her dad asked innocently but they both knew there was nothing innocent about the question.

"Yes dad…it's just me and Byron."

"I took Emma home for curfew." Byron added.

"No Aidan tonight El?" Dylan asked she sighed, he had a love hate relationship with his daughters long term boyfriend.

"No dad. I just stayed in." she looked down sadly. Her parents were going to find out that they had broken up but she'd tell them when they were home. She knew her father would probably be thrilled and her mother would worry about her. She didn't want to ruin their trip.

"Alright well…we miss you. We will check in with you tomorrow." Dylan said as they heard more kissing sounds. The twins looked at each other and pretended to gag.

"We miss you guys too. Have fun!" Byron got up now and headed to the door.

"We love you both." Brenda called out over the phone.

"We love you too." Eliot said back. She hit end on her cell and took a deep breath. She wished she was in Europe at this moment. She loved Paris, she wished she was far away from the teenage drama that surrounded her life at the moment.

"Why didn't you want to tell dad you found his book?" Byron asked from the doorway.

Eliot shrugged, "I don't know…it seems private. It wasn't exactly out in plain view. It was hidden, I don't know if he'd want me to read it."

Byron shrugged not caring too much. Sure he was interested in what happened and everything but not enough to hibernate like his sister and read it in its entirety. He figured she would share the good stuff…the cliff note version per say. The truth was Byron was an extremely smart young man. He wrote for the paper, he played sports. Him and Eliot were in the top of their junior class at West Beverly. He still improvised for the most part. Eliot studied hard and worried about her grades, she was interested in stuff like theater, literature and poetry. Byron crammed the night before and if he didn't, he winged it. He was a fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy. His mother would tell him he reminded him of his uncle. Brandon I guess was that type of guy. Byron knew though, he was like his father in that aspect too. He may not have a love of poetry but his personality was his father. Where Eliot was more romantic and dreamy and sweet like their mother. Even though Dylan was romantic as well. He had taught him everything there was to know about the opposite sex. He was very much in love with his high school sweetheart. They still had a year of high school left but secretly, he would follow Emma anywhere in the world to be by her. He wasn't sure who he took after in that aspect.

"Night El." he called out.

"Night By." Eliot called out after him. She set the leather bound book on her dresser and pulled her sheets down turning off her light next to her bed. As she settled into her warm covers, she thought of her mom and dad. How crazy they were about each other. It made her smile. She had grown up seeing true love in plain sight. it was hard to imagine her father, or mother for that matter with anyone else. Her thoughts were interrupted hearing her cell ding, she reached out and grabbed it seeing a text from Aidan. She swallowed hard and opened it up.

 _Just checking in with you. Are you okay? I know you don't want to hear this but I miss talking to you. I didn't want to hurt you. That wasn't my intention._

She watched the three dots present themselves like he was continuing. Then they stopped. She closed her eyes as a couple tears fell from her eyes. Maybe it wasn't his intention but thats exactly what he did. She stared at the text. The dots appeared again.

 _I'm sorry. I miss you El…you're my best friend. Can you please talk to me?_

She shook her head quickly and blew out her breath she had been holding. She turned off her phone and set it gently on the brown leather bound book. She couldn't text back. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to talk about it and she wasn't ready to be his friend. He was her best friend too but he was so much more. She closed her eyes, thinking about her parents again. There was a couple things she learned from only reading a little of her fathers journal. He met her mother at 16 years old, she knew that already. He seemed crazy about her, she knew that too, seeing them now days. But hearing she was gone somewhere, not attending Donna and David's wedding. Which was surprising to Eliot. Donna and David were still her parents close friends. Even though her father seemed disappointed her mother didn't attend, it seemed he was in a relationship with someone else or at least starting one back up. She stared at the book again, she could spend all night reading it. She sat up and reached for it. She turned on her bedside light and opened it to where she left off. One more entry, maybe two then she would really go to bed.

 _January 12, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Soooo Brenda and Dylan are together. So what we know so far, They have twins. A boy named Byron and a girl named Eliot. They've been married for 15 years. Together or it seems for 17 years. Both of their kids don't know much about their parents past relationship. Eliot being a romantic like her parents she is too intrigued to not find out. We see into the mind of mysterious Dylan. Taking him through the years of his relationship with Brenda…his time without her. Maybe even showing us into the Dylan we despise…season 3 Dylan. Do you think Eliot will like what she learns? Let me know what's in your head. I love your reviews and guesses. The more detailed the better and feel free to ask questions. I may not give everything away but I've been known to give spoilers here and there. Thanks for reading, I hope you are liking this so far._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 2**_

 _ **First Love**_

 _January 12, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well…it's official..I'm dating Brenda Walsh. We had a date, I asked her out again, which she accepted. That's dating, it's plural. I walk her to class, we eat lunch together. I steal kisses every chance I get. She is an incredible kisser. We get lost in each other. I'm not sure what's next but the sexual tension between us is freaking fire. I'm not a virgin…Brenda is however. I kind of assumed it but Brandon confirmed it. After lunch today, Brenda and I were fooling around on the lawn. It was fun. We fed each other fries and wrestled a little. We kissed and cuddled. We were in sync. Remember a couple months ago when I asked if Brandon would care if I asked out his sister? Well he does apparently. I was so lost in Brenda at lunch I didn't notice that Brandon saw us. I got a message from the office attendant from my dad. He was still in town and he needed to disappear. Come to find out he is being indicted for fraud. Ugh my dad is an idiot. Before I left school Brandon cornered me asking what my intentions were with Brenda. He told me I better really like her, that she was very romantic and dreamy and sweet and that she wouldn't move on easily. Then he told me she was a virgin. I'm insulted I have to admit. I do really like Bren. What kind of jerk does he think I am? Things didn't end very well, I waltzed out of school knowing I had to meet my dad and told him to have a nice weekend, it wasn't in a nice way. I'd worry about Brandon later. I was suppose to pick up Brenda at 8 for another movie date. I have to help my dad first. Not that I have any clue where the bastard is going. I have never felt all that comfortable with being Jack McKay's son, truthfully I feel like I barely know the man. Now that he's about to disappear…looks like I'm not going to be getting to know him any time soon._

 _Dylan_

 _January 15, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _This weekend has been the toughest weekend in a long long time. My dad left. Like I said before, I don't know where. We moved again. This was the 4th time in the last 6 months. I didn't make on my date with Brenda on Friday. Things were so hectic with my dad I couldn't get there. My dad may be many things but he was still my dad. I needed to help him, I needed to pick my life up once again and move my shit. I'm semi settled into a new house. A nice size bungalow here in Beverly Hills. It's nice actually, quiet and holds a lot of cool wood work inside. We'll see how long I last here. Before I knew it I had accidentally stood Brenda up and felt like a complete asshole for it. I wanted to call her, but what exactly was I going to say? Hey Bren…I'm sorry I didn't show up Friday night. I was helping my father disappear? Yeah right. She would think I was crazy. Maybe she would understand? I don't know. I haven't called her yet because I'm trying to figure out what exactly to say to her. Brandon and I fought today in tech class. Brenda told him I stood her up. Apparently she was so upset about it all weekend she stayed home from school today. I've been thinking about her the whole time. I care about her so much, more than she even realizes. Brandon gave me a lot to think about as I sit here on my futon. I mean he said she feels like she did something wrong. God she was so wrong. She did nothing. I'm the mess here. I'm the broken one. She is perfect. Brandon is right…I have to tell her. If I want Brenda in my life, I need to be honest with her, even if it means telling her about my father. If she loves me like I love her, she'll understand. Well I guess I'm about to find out. I'm going over to the Walsh house now. I'm going to apologize to Brenda._

 _Dylan_

 _January 19, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Sorry I let the whole school week go by before writing. Let's see where did I leave off? Right apologizing to Brenda. I did that, I told her everything. How terrible I felt about missing our date. About caring about her, about thinking about her the whole time. About not knowing what to say to her. Apparently she tried calling me but my fathers goons didn't tell me she had called. They told her I didn't want to speak with her. Fuckers. Anyway she of course did the Brenda thing and felt bad for me. Not in a I feel sorry for you way but like she felt bad for being angry with me. She said she felt terrible. She is so warm, I don't want to ever make her feel terrible, not anymore. I want her to feel as free as I feel. She asked me how I wanted her to feel? She asked me what I wanted her to feel for me rather? I didn't tell her I wanted her to love me. I feel like its to soon to say the words. So instead I showed her. We made out on her families couch. I went to second base. HA she is amazing. For being innocent and a virgin, she is good at that part. We haven't talked about what she has done with other guys, not sure if I want to know really. She knows I have had sex. I took her to the lookout tonight and yes I took her to be alone with her. I wanted to make out with her. I pretended I was showing her the view of the city. HAHA! I'm a guy, a 16 year old guy. I'm only human. A night intended for young love and exploration turned into a real talk situation. We had a sex speaker today at school, she talked to us about aids and protecting ourselves. I didn't think much about it until Brenda brought it up. In all honesty when I'm with Brenda, I forget about everything. The shit with my dad, my messed up life. She makes me feel wanted…sexy. Anyway she asked me if I had had unprotected sex and I answered her honestly. She also shared unintentionally that she worries about other girls. I can see it in her eyes, she wants to trust me, I don't know if she does completely though. I'd work on that. I asked her if she worried about things like aids and unprotected sex and she was honest with me. She said she assumed I wanted to take our relationship to the next level. Which shocked me, not because it wasn't true. Oh I did want her like that but after hearing what Brandon had said about her being romantic and dreamy I just didn't think that particular subject was on her mind yet. I asked her if she wanted me to take a test and I told her I would. She told me she was scared and again that is the last thing I want her to feel. She wanted to slow down. She admitted something I feel exactly the same about. She isn't used to the feelings she is having and I'm not either. Sure I had been physical with girls. I was familiar with sex and lust but not love. I wasn't familiar with those feelings going together. When I was with Brenda, kissing her, feeling her it felt intense. It felt like we were engulfed in flames, the fire not only reached my groin but my heart and that was a first for me. She wanted to make sure this was real. That the feelings she was feeling were as deep to her as it was for me and she was scared I wouldn't wait around to find out. Meaning if she wasn't ready to have sex with me, I would move on from her. She was afraid I'd say no…well I didn't say no. Brenda was proving to be my first love and it wasn't going to be easy to ever let her go. I know deep in my heart I'm in love with her, I'd slow down, we could get to know each other. When the timing is right, we will have sex…and it will be incredible._

 _Dylan_

Eliot held the book to her chest and sighed. _Oh my god, my father was Oh my god_. She had no idea. It was morning now. She honestly had been up all night reading. Why the hell would this perfect couple ever break up? She knew her parents had not been dating since high school. Her mother was an actress. She travelled the world, she lived in London for many years. She also knew that her parents were off and on, whatever that meant. Her mother had studied and graduated from RADA. Eliot had even thought about applying there…maybe Oxford like her name sake? Pursue writing…no acting…she didn't know. She used to think about Aidan and the future, he was interested in attending school in town. She wanted to go to school with him but now that they were apart, the possibilities were endless. Reading about the16 year old Dylan was eye opening. He reminded her of Byron more than she had thought before, maybe it was just because they were both boys and close in age. He also reminded her of Aidan. Aidan was that kind of boyfriend. Sweet and caring. They had been dating for so long. They got together the summer before her freshman year at West Beverly. Their relationship had started off hot and heavy too but they took it slow knowing that they were young. Eliot had lost her virginity to Aidan, the summer before their sophomore year. It was the night of Aidan's end of summer party at the beach club. He rented a cabana, lit it entirely with candles and filled it with flowers and they went all the way. It was the first time for both of them. It was special and amazing. A night she would never forget.

"Eliot…Want to come to the beach? I'm going surfing." Byron made his way into her bedroom. He pushed back is wavy brown hair and looked at her. She looked up tears in her eyes thinking about how in sync the two of them seemed to be, at least before Audrey. "What's wrong?"

She wiped her eyes quickly. "Nothing." she shook her head quickly.

Byron took a deep breath, exhaling, "Get up…let's go surfing…I'm not letting you sit here for another second El."

Eliot nodded, "You're right…surfing sounds good. I need to get out for a bit." She exhaled setting her fathers book on the night stand and getting up.

Byron looked shocked, "I'm right? Ha that's new." he smiled.

She smiled back and shook her head, rolling her eyes, "No you're right I'm wallowing."

"I never said you were wallowing." Byron smirked.

"No…but you're thinking it." she put her finger to her temple, "Twins, remember."

"Oh I remember." he chuckled. "Get ready…the waves are happening…the sun is shining. Mom and dad are away doing god knows what in France. We are young, attractive, healthy, wealthy and wise."

Eliot laughed out loud. She nodded. "Meet me down stairs in 10 minutes." he finished with a smirk and left.

Eliot pulled the zipper from her wet suit and peeled it down her arms. She let it hang tightly at her small waist as she adjusted her bikini top then ran her fingers through her long brown hair. "Thanks By…this was nice. I needed this." she spread out her towel and sat on it. She wrapped her arms around her legs and looked into the ocean. Byron had done the same as he laid his towel next to hers. He looked over at his sister.

Her eyes met his as she gave him a sad smile.

"You know…you will get over Aidan Carson. I know it seems like you won't but you will." he gently rubbed down his sisters back.

"Will I?" she looked over at Byron again. "I mean…could you get over Emma, if you were in this situation?"

Byron took a deep breath, "I don't know El. Maybe…maybe not. I guess with time I would. I mean, what choice would I have, but I would never forget her that's for sure." he looked out into the ocean.

Eliot did the same. "Yeah…I guess you're right. I guess it's normal to not forget your first love, I mean dad never did."

Byron looked over at his sister curiously, "Mom was dad's first love?"

"You knew that. He says it all the time." she rolled her eyes.

He shrugged, "Yeah I guess, how's the book? I know you were up reading it all night." he chuckled at Eliot's surprised expression, "I got up to pee in the middle of the night and I saw your light on. I think you forget I know you better than myself sometimes."

She laughed then became serious, "Honestly…it's beautiful. They were intense and young and happy. I mean it's only the beginning but it seems that way to me."

Byron got serious as he stared out into the waves, "I wonder what happened? Maybe they broke up because mom moved to London? Makes sense right? Then reconnected years later? Made two good looking kids and the rest is history." he chuckled at himself.

Eliot smiled, "Maybe…I don't know…I'll let you know when I find out."

Byron smiled at his sister, "I'm sure you will. You ready? Let's shower off and head to the pit, I'm starving." He got up and went to collect his bag and surfboard.

"Um…yeah no…I'm not going to the pit." Eliot followed and got up also.

"Eliot…today is our day, and you have to do what I say today. Tomorrow you can go back to wallowing in your own misery."

Eliot looked over at her brother nervously, "What if he's there…what if he's there with her?"

Byron smiled, he set his arm limply around his sister's shoulders, "Then we leave…ignore them…the gang will be so happy to see you. They have been asking about you for a week. Please come sis…please."

Eliot took a deep breath, "Alright fine…I swear to god you're relentless." Byron laughed as they made there way to the Porsche.

The pit was packed with kids from school. They waved at Nat, that old man was practically part of their family. He was still going strong and had the most popular high school hang out in town. Byron and Eliot found a booth near the old jukebox.

"Hey kids…Eliot…I haven't seen you in over a week. Where have you been, don't you miss your uncle Nat?"

Eliot smiled, "Just laying low…you know how it is."

Nat nodded understandably. He might be in his 60's now but he still heard the high school gossip. He'd seen Aidan and Audrey together. "How's your parents? They still in Europe?" he asked with fondness.

"Yeah they called last night. They sound like they are having a great time. Alone and everything, you know them." Byron playfully rolled his eyes.

"That I do." Nat smiled. "Those two crazy kids." He shook his head remembering just how long they all went back. Now Nat was catering to the next generation.

"What was my mom and dad like back then Uncle Nat, like as a couple?" Eliot wondered.

"Oh you know…like you guys, young and free. Your parents were very in love, young but real. They were close, good friends too. They were good together. Your mother was always good for Dylan…even when they were apart." just then they heard a loud crash from the back.

Nat groaned, "I'll be back to take your order…new waiter." he rolled his eyes and made his way to the stock room.

"Hmmm…I wonder what he meant by that?" Eliot said to herself but out loud.

"Who knows man…Nat is cool but the guy is ancient."

Eliot shrugged and looked over the menu.

"Eliot?" her eyes closed… _fuck,_ she looked up and there he was…Aidan. With his hands in his pockets shy like. Looking down at her, with his perfect dark hair and blue eyes. Byron was silent, instantly feeling bad for making his sister come here.

"What do you want Aidan?" Eliot looked down at her menu again.

"I texted you last night. Why didn't you text me back?"

Eliot sighed and looked at him again, "I had nothing to say to you."

"Well…can we talk now…outside…in private?" Aidan's eyes drifted to Byron's then back at her.

"No…whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of my brother."

"El? Come on babe…please, I really need to talk to you."

Eliot saw red, she stood up quickly, "Where's Audrey?" she said venom in her voice.

Aidan bit his lip and shrugged, "I don't know…home probably."

"Well…why don't you head over there and talk to her…because we have absolutely nothing to discuss. Byron…let's go…I suddenly lost my appetite."

Nat made is way over and looked between the teenagers, "You guys want the usual?" he said nervously.

"Yeah…Nat to go please." Byron added. "El…go wait in the car…we'll take dinner to go." He glared at his once best friend.

Eliot lip quivered and she left abruptly, she would never let Aidan see her cry. The last she saw was Aidan's sad eyes as he watched her go. As she sat in the Porsche she squeezed her eyes shut. Tears flowed freely. If she was going to get over Aidan…she prayed it would be soon.

As the twins ate their mega burgers at the huge granite kitchen island. She heard the door bell from the front gate. She looked at Byron's questioning eyes and shrugged. Then her worst fear came over her. "If it's Aidan…don't you dare let him in." She called out as Byron stood next to the security system.

"Like I would." he hit the intercom. "Hello?"

"Hey By…buddy…open the gate."

Byron looked at Eliot with a smirk, "It's Uncle Brandon…bet you 10 bucks mom and dad told him to come check on us."

Eliot laughed popping a fry into her mouth. "No bet needed, you know that's what happened."

Byron hit the gate. And walked over to the front door. He opened it just as Brandon's car became visible from their long private driveway. He stuck his hands in the pocket of his jeans and smiled.

"How's my favorite nephew doing?" Brandon got out of his SUV with a smile.

"I'm your only nephew." Byron smiled.

Brandon hopped up the front steps, "Smart ass." he wrapped his arm around him as they headed in the house.

Brandon squeezed Byron's neck lovingly as he made his way into the kitchen. Brandon walked to the other side of the island and leaned his elbows on it. "Hey pretty girl…what's happening?" he directed the greeting towards Eliot.

"Hey uncle Brandon…what brings you here?" Eliot's tone smug.

Brandon smirked and looked between the two twins, that reminded him so much of himself and Brenda it tripped him out on a daily basis.

"Nothing much…just wanted to say hi, you know." Brandon leaned off his elbows and looked around.

"There's nobody here…mom and dad said no overnight guests when they were gone. Emma hasn't even been here this week." Byron smiled before taking a bite of his mega burger. "You can call them now an let them know." he said with his mouth full.

Brandon laughed, "Alright you got me. They might have mentioned…checking on you two once in awhile. Your parents worry about you that's all." he set his hands in his pockets and smiled.

"When you have kids one day you'll understand."

"Ugh…you sound like dad." Eliot rolled her eyes.

"Well…I have known your father for a long time. He's a smart guy. And he was right. By the way…Nate said you haven't been hanging out with the gang…either of you. What's up, of course your cousin wouldn't get into it."

"Aidan and Eliot broke up." Byron said without thinking. He was always honest with his uncle. They were close.

"Byron!" Eliot yelled. She exhaled her eyes meeting her uncles.

"Sorry El…it just slipped out." Byron looked down.

"You okay sweetie?" Brandon leaned against the counter again.

She took a deep breath, "Yes…shit happens you know."

Brandon nodded, "I do know…but I also know how much you liked him. Did he say why?"

Eliot was quiet for a long moment, not wanting to get into it. Why was her family so close and nosy?

"He started going out with Audrey." Byron added then received the look of death from his sister.

"Oh I see…well…that's tough I'm sorry honey. Have you talked to your parents about it?"

"No…why so dad can tell me I told you so and mom can want to have a heart to heart 4 hour long talk…No, I don't want them to know I'm completely heartbroken." Tears filled her eyes, she had to stop this.

Brandon's heart broke seeing her like this, "That sounds like my dear sister but she'd might be able to help. Eliot your father loves you. He would never say that. He would be heartbroken to know you were hurting."

Eliot shrugged, "Uncle Brandon…don't say anything please."

"Scouts honor." Brandon held up his three fingers and Eliot smiled at him.

"Alright…I see there isn't boys or girls spending the night, no one is drunk and or stoned. No parties…I did my uncle duty. You guys call the house if you need me this week." Brandon walked towards the kitchen entry. "And guys…call your cousins…family is family. Aidan and Audrey can find a new group." He winked at them and walked to the foyer. "Love you guys." he called out.

"Love you too!" both twins said at the same time.

Eliot looked at her brother and gave him a strong elbow to the ribs. "Big mouth." she uttered as she grabbed her dirty plate bringing it to the sink.

Brandon got into his car and started the engine. He hit the telephone button on his phone and pressed call and the sound of a ringing phone came over his blue tooth as he started his drive down the long Beverly Hills driveway.

"Hey Bran." Dylan answered after two rings.

"Your kids are perfect. They are alone eating at the kitchen counter by themselves and they saw right through my check in bro."

Dylan laughed, "Thanks man. Bren and I haven't left them alone this long before. When they were small they came with us or we had Rachel…we just worry, you know how it is."

Brandon laughed, "It's called teenagers man…I have a couple myself."

"I know you do…wait hold on Bren wants to talk to you. Thanks again B."

"Brandon?" Brenda's voice came over the bluetooth.

"Hey Bren…how's France?"

"Amazing…Dylan and I are having a great time. It's been a long time since we've been here alone. The kids were okay?"

Brandon took a deep breath, "Yeah…they're okay. Abiding by the rules and all that…they are good kids Bren…you guys know that."

"I know…I miss them. I talked to them last night. They seemed good, but Eliot stayed home and was reading, did she seem okay to you tonight? She seemed a little down, she seemed weird."

"Bren…she's a teenage girl…who knows, you were the same way…always weird. She seemed okay." Brandon's voice was too high… _shit._

"Brandon." Brenda said stern, she knew her brother, he was hiding something. "Did something happen? Is she okay?"

"Aidan broke up with her."

Brenda awed sadly, "For Audrey." Brandon added.

"WHAT? Are you kidding me? What are the odds?"

"What is it Bren?" Brandon chuckled hearing Dylan in the background.

"Poor Eliot." Brenda said sadly. "Is she okay?"

"Eh…you know how it is. She looked miserable to be honest but she was putting up a good front, she was trying not to cry in front of me."

"My poor baby girl." Brenda said in her most motherly voice.

"Alright guys just pulled into the driveway. Don't say anything will ya? I'm their cool uncle…it's hard enough competing with Erica." Brandon turned off the ignition to his car.

Brenda laughed, "Alright…mums the word. Night Brandon…tell the fam we said hello."

"Will do…bye...see you guys next week…we'll do dinner or something."

"Sounds good. Bye Bran." Brenda clicked end on her cell and looked at Dylan sadly. She took a deep breath and walked over towards him and sat on the couch next to him. She leaned in and gently kissed his lips, Dylan deepened it, running his tongue gently against hers. Dylan wrapped his arms tightly around her as her head went to his shoulder cuddling into him.

"What was that about?" Dylan said softly, kissing her head.

"Aidan broke up with Eliot." Brenda pulled away from Dylan and looked into his eyes.

Dylan's eyebrows raised, "Really?" he smiled.

Brenda smacked him in the chest, "I'm kidding…I'm kidding." Dylan chuckled.

"For Audrey." Brenda continued. Dylan looked down sadly now feeling bad for joking, his eyes met hers again.

"She must be heartbroken." Brenda took a deep breath.

Dylan shook his head, "That little shit."

"Right?"

Dylan thought seriously, "Maybe Byron will kick his ass, since I can't?"

Brenda looked at him. She shook her head holding back her smirk.

"She'll be okay." Dylan brought Brenda into him again. "It's part of being a teenager I guess, love and loss. She'll come out stronger. And Aidan will get what's coming to him."

Brenda laughed as she looked into her husbands eyes. Love pouring between them. Then her expression turned serious and glum.

"I'll call the airline." Dylan sighed getting up.

Brenda smiled, after 17 years he still knew her better than anyone. He knew just by that look, she wanted to go home. They'd been to France a million times and they'd been having a wonderful time the past week celebrating their love and marriage but Eliot needed her. She needed both of them.

 _Sooooo…another chapter. We see Brandon has kids and lives in LA. Who is he married too? We see Brenda and Dylan as 40 somethings. We see a little bit more into the Dylan journals. How you guys liking this? I had this chapter finished with the last one I posted so I thought I would be nice and post it. I have to work the next few days (12 hour shifts) so I wont be posting. I hope you enjoy this long chapter and a glimpse into their life and kids. Next chapter…a lot more journals…also Brenda and Dylan surprise their kids with an early trip home. Tell me what your thinking! A lot of people are reading but a lot of people aren't saying anything :(_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 3**_

 _ **I love you's**_

 _February 18, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I'm such a prick. I didn't mean to be but I was. Brenda and I are going strong. We are tight, more than tight. Sex is becoming an issue, or maybe it's the lack of it. I know I said I would wait and get to know her and I have. But we've been dating for going on 2 months now and I have been absolutely faithful to her and all I get is a bunch of promises and a lot of I'm sorry. We have done a lot of groping, first base daily, 2nd base almost as much, 3rd base all the fucking time. I'm dying here. And that ladies and gentlemen is why I'm a prick. I don't want to push her, I don't want to pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do but I feel like the more and more we're together, the more and more we're talking about, the more and more were thinking about it. Things get so heated between us in our make outs that it physically hurts. Alright I know I'm a prick, I sit here writing in my private journal about my gorgeous lovable sweet girlfriend that lets me fondle her above and below the waist and I'm crying like a bitch about blue balls. She told me not tonight and even though I had a small boyish tantrum a little I knew why she said no. I have to make this special for her. It's her first time and you know what it's mine too, in regards to actually having sex with someone I love. Like she would let me seduce her in my car. God I'm such an asshole. I know she wants to, I know she wants me just as much as I want her. I can see it, I feel it. Her body is ready but for some reason she is nervous. She hasn't opened up to me about it. We talk about everything for god sakes but she can't tell me what she is so afraid of. We care about each other. We both have needs. When things get really hot and heavy, she has just as hard of a time stopping than I do. I love to make her feel good. I offered to get us a room next weekend, it's Presidents Day weekend and she was going to spend it in Palm Springs with Kelly and Donna. Not gonna freaking happen. I'm not sharing her with them. They get her all the time. I want to explore each other, I want to devour her…I want to make love to her. Is that so wrong? I didn't think so when I offered, she reluctantly agreed. I could tell she was hesitant even when she said okay. Now as I sit here after taking her home, I'm feeling like a prick. Diary give me the patience and serenity that's needed to not be this guy. The guy I loathe, the football date raper asshole, that's main goal in life is to get into girls pants. Alright…next weekend…we'll be fine. I'm ready for a sexual relationship with the girl I love. It's gonna happen, and it's gonna be wonderful. It feels right with Brenda, but then why do I feel like such a prick?_

 _Dylan_

Eliot smirked looking up from her father's book. The weirdest thing is she should be grossed out, to hear her father talk about this stuff but weirdly she wasn't. She understood it. She had been in that place before, Aidan pressured her for 6 months before they finally did it. It's so weird how she could actually relate to her father about sex, it was the only thing that didn't . Her parents had talked to her about sex. Well actually her father stayed quiet and her mother had talked to her about sex. Her father sat nervous and annoyed. It was one of their bigger arguments that both twins had recalled and heard from their bedrooms that night. Then when Brenda and Dylan found out she had actually had sex, the shit hit the fan. Eliot had asked her mother if it was a good time to see the gynecologist and Brenda saw through that heart to heart and asked her if what she was really asking was because she was interested in birth control. Eliot opened up to her mother, told her that they had gone all he way that past summer and she wanted to be careful. Brenda had agreed to take her and even had set the appointment up. Dylan had freaked out on Brenda and Eliot, forbidding her to see Aidan and truthfully Aidan wasn't welcome in their home for months. And even after Dylan had let Aidan come back around and Eliot was on birth control, Dylan was always cold towards him. Life was so unfair, Byron actually got caught in the act by their dad and Eliot found out later from her brother that their sex talk consisted of… _here son…here is a box of condoms…I'm not ready to be a grandpa. Treat your woman with respect, do not talk about your conquests in the locker room and never pressure a women into it._ So that talk consisted more of no means no and bag it up dude. Now it almost seemed laughable reading her fathers words. He was just as sexually active at their age as they had been. Eliot had only been with one person and he was her steady boyfriend. Byron had lost his virginity freshman year to Pamela Davis and even though their relationship was short lived and Dylan actually caught Byron balls deep she was still allowed to come over. _Friggin double standards_. Eliot thought about her father, she loved him so much. Even with all the arguments about her relationship with Aidan, her father could do no wrong. He hung the moon and the stars and she would never admit it out loud but she was closer to her father then her mother, not that her and Brenda weren't close but she was a certifiable daddy's girl and she was proud of it. Byron on the other hand was a pure mamas boy. She took a deep breath looking back down at the book. Before she could start reading a gentle knock sounded at her bedroom door.

"Come in!" Eliot called out.

Emma stuck her head in with a smile before making her way through and closing the door behind her. Eliot set the book aside.

"Hey girl…I didn't know you were here." Eliot said happily.

"Yeah…just got here, your brother is attempting to make me dinner." she smirked as she sat on her Eliot's bed.

"Good luck with that." Eliot laughed.

"Good luck to both of us, he's making enough for you too."

Eliot groaned playfully, it was a sweet sentiment at least.

"So long time no talk…how've you been?" Emma looked at her and she knew she was checking up on her.

Eliot shrugged, she wasn't going to lie. Emma was one of her best friends, well maybe her only best friend now. "Been better." she exhaled.

Emma looked down and nodded, "Have you talked to Audrey?" she peaked her big brown eyes at Eliot and gently twirled her long dirty blonde hair around her index finger and thumb.

"God no…why would I want to talk to that bitch. Have you?"

Emma exhaled and smiled a sad smile at her, "I have…you know this whole thing is weird for everyone. I mean our group is so close and you and Aidan have been the it couple for so long. It's taking it's toll on all of us to be honest. I haven't talked to her much because in all honesty I think what she did was messed up and if she could do that to you…then why not to me?"

Eliot looked down and nodded, she understood that thought.

"She asked about you? Asked if you were okay? If I thought you would ever forgive her…stuff like that."

"What did you say?"

"I told her she was a shitty friend and these kinds of things ruin friendships forever. She didn't like that answer much. She gave me attitude and hung up on me." Emma shrugged. "I was just being honest."

"Well thank you…unlike her, you are an amazing best friend."

Emma smiled at her and nodded slowly, silence surrounding the bedroom.

"Are you mad at me?" Emma spoke after a couple minutes.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Eliot said confused.

Emma looked at her long time friend with tears in her eyes. "Because I feel like it's my fault. I made you come with me to Spain and if you had never gone they would have never gotten together. I'm so sorry Eliot. I'm so sorry." Emma cried.

Eliot exhaled. She moved closer to her and set her arm tightly around her friend, "It is not your fault Em…Aidan had a choice to be faithful, he had a choice to keep his hands to himself and he chose wrong. And Audrey…she knew how much I loved him, she was there for every single issue, problem, girl talk we've ever had. They are the ones that are assholes Emma. It's their fault." Tears fell from Eliot's eyes. "I hate them so much." she whispered.

"Me too." Emma whispered back.

The girls separated for a moment but sat close to one another. "I keep going over stuff in my head. Like maybe it was my fault. Maybe I didn't pay enough attention to him, maybe I didn't put out as much as I should have, maybe I shouldn't have pushed him away when I had a final, or a project or homework." Eliot was now opening crying.

"Don't you dare El…don't you dare blame any of this shit on yourself. Aidan and his dick don't need pity."

Eliot chuckled through their tears, "I know your right."

"I will tell you that things aren't great between them." Emma looked seriously at Eliot. "They aren't together together right now. Audrey told me that Aidan told her it was too much right now and he wanted to think about stuff." Emma smiled a HAHA smile and shrugged.

Eliot smirked, "Well…that makes me feel a little bit better." the girls laughed and wiped their tears. Emma leaned in and tightly hugged Eliot. "I love you." she whispered.

"I love you too." Eliot whispered, "Thanks for checking up on me."

Emma leaned out, "Of course you're my best friend El…I'm always here for you. We've known each other since birth some day we'll be sisters." Emma smiled.

Eliot nodded. "Hopefully my brother doesn't mess it up." she joked which made Emma smile.

"Speaking of, I better go make sure he isn't burning the house down."

"Good idea." Eliot laughed. She watched her friend leave and close the bedroom door behind her. She sighed picking her father's book back up and opening to where she left off.

 _February 21, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well Diary I sit here and write you from the Desert Mirage. Brenda was suppose to be here an hour ago. I just got off the phone with Brandon. I knew he'd be at the Peach Pit knowing he was working all weekend. He seemed pissed that Brenda had planned on meeting me here. I didn't want to lie to him, but I know he knows both myself and his sister well enough to know what the plan was for this weekend. He even made a smart ass remark telling me maybe Brenda had changed her mind about staying with me and going through with it. He even mentioned Brenda scamming on other guys. I don't think Bren would do that to me but if it helps her protective twin brother sleep at night then be my guest. I didn't let his remarks bother me, at least not to his face, or voice rather. I just told him what hotel I was staying at in case she called him. Maybe Brenda was chickening out, maybe she changed her mind about having sex? I guess time will tell._

 _Dylan_

 _February 25, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well Brenda did show up at the hotel this past weekend, and we also had our first fight. I mean our first real fight. After writing my last entry, I saw a girl that looked really familiar. Turns out it was Janie, the girl that grew up across the street from me. We talked, caught up and reminisced. We used to make mud pies together. She was all grown up now. She was pretty even. We hung out most of the night and she came by my hotel the following morning for breakfast. We had juice and not much happened because shortly after our room service arrived Brenda finally showed up. She saw Janie and freaked out on me. She yelled at me in the middle of the hotel hallway and said she knew she couldn't trust me, that she never wanted to see me again and stormed off. My heart broke. She returned 10 minutes later, still pissed. She asked me if I had slept with her, when I told her I hadn't she asked if I had wanted to? I told her yes…but in a theoretical kind of way. She didn't like that answer but what did she want me to do…lie about it? I probably should have lied about it. Note taken. Then she said let's just do it and get it over with. She told me to shut up and take off my clothes. Now this is when I realized I'm not as big of an asshole prick as I thought I was. I didn't want to be pressured into it then either. I didn't want to make love with her when she was pissed at me. I didn't want to just get it over with. She took it as a let down, a rejection. She was so wrong. I wanted our first time to be romantic and special. We would have our whole lives for make up sex but not our first time. And that's when I realized, I wasn't a prick at all because if I was that asshole football player prick…I would have taken advantage of her anger and wanting to get it over with. That was the last thing I wanted in that moment. She made me take her back to David Silvers grandparents house to meet with the rest of the gang. I hung around because even though she wasn't speaking to me, I wanted to fix things. I didn't like fighting with her. I didn't like our first fight and it felt like a big one. David's grandparents were so awesome. His grandpa sat Steve and I down and gave us advice on women. He told us that Adele his wife, David's grandma, had broken up with him 7 different times. That that was an easy way to solve the problems that would come up. To run for the hills he said, I could relate to that, I had done that my whole life. I was a pro at escaping and not letting people too close to me. He told us finding someone you can trust with your feelings is the hardest thing, that and letting the other person be who they are vs what we want them to be. As we ate lunch as a group. Brenda sat away from me, still not talking to me. I would glance at her often, her eyes would meet mine and she would look away sadly. David grandparents said, when you meet that person, the person you can be your whole self with, the person you can have a freak out with and they love you the same, a person you can have fun with, and trust, it is the greatest blessing in the world. When I tuned to look at Brenda again. Her sweet eyes met mine. This time she didn't turn away, I thought of our first date. How I had lost my cool and how she had lost hers today. She cared about me still, maybe more and I loved her the same too, no matter how unreasonable she was being. She smiled a soft smile at me, which I returned. I had found that person in Brenda…and at that moment I knew she had found that person in me as well. We made up, we sat out in the yard looking out at the pool. She told me she would love to have a house like David's grandparents. She asked if I ever imagined having grandchildren. Had I imagined us married, with children and grandchildren, not really but now that she brought it up…maybe. The simple fact when she said she wanted a house like that, I wanted to get her one one day. Brenda would be a wonderful wife. She had grown up in a loving home with hands on loving parents unlike mine. At that moment there wasn't anyone I would rather have a family with. We could live in a gorgeous big home in Beverly Hills, with a lagoon pool and 2 kids, maybe a boy and a girl, Ha maybe twins like her and Brandon. I could picture it. It felt nice to think abut us being a family. I could be anything for Brenda…a husband, a father, I guess even a grandfather. Someday maybe…I guess well take it one step at a time._

 _Dylan_

 _March 28, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I know it's been awhile. Not much has happened in the past month. Brenda and I are still very much a couple. The sex discussion has been put on the back burner for now. I will not pressure her into anything ever again. I will wait for the perfect moment and plan the most unforgettable first time ever. Everyone at school is on edge. The SAT's are this Saturday and everyone is freaking the hell out. That's why I only take these things once, senior year…while everyone is suffering Saturday, I'll be surfing. To be honest surfing and the SAT's are really the farthest thing from my mind. Brenda cried to me today at school and told me she found a lump in her breast. At first I didn't say much. I pulled back because I was scared. I was scared for her, I was worried about her. I know she is scared too. As I walked her to her front door, I told her that I wanted to be with her at the hospital when they did her biopsy. Brandon and Brenda's aunt, Cindy's sister, died from breast cancer. The thought makes me lose it inside. Brenda is much too young to worry about this. Brenda told me she didn't want me to be there with her. She's embarrassed about it. She thinks things are different, that it's changed things. She accused me of not even wanting to touch her after she told me, the truth is I was surprised by the news, I'm scared! Then I did something without even thinking, I told her that I loved her. I finally said the words out loud and to her. That should feel great right? Wrong she thinks I'm only saying it because of what's going on. Which is ridiculous. I have loved Brenda since our first date. Just because I chose now to share it with her she feels its not genuine. If she only knew that it is so heartfelt and genuine it's not even funny. I'm going surfing. I need a distraction._

 _Dylan_

 _March 28, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _She said it back! She loves me! I knew she did but hearing it…it's just so amazing. When I was out surfing she called me and left a message. "I love you too" was all she said. I played the message fives times. I'm going to be there tomorrow. I don't care if she doesn't want me too. She didn't tell me which hospital she will be at but I will go to all 5 of them with flowers to be there for the girl I love…that loves me back._

 _Dylan_

 _March 30, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Brenda is fine. She is perfect actually. No signs of cancer, just a hormone imbalance. That actually explains a lot. HAHA I'm kidding she is perfect and all mine. I love you flows freely now. We say it to each other after every phone call. Just for the hell of it. Even during our "alone" time. Things got more intense quickly after that. Brenda and I are moving to more of a sexual relationship too. There have been some firsts for her besides sex that have come to fruition recently. I'm not going to go into details but seeing Brenda come undone was the most beautiful thing in the world. My goal in life is to please her. She makes me feel so wanted. No one has ever made me feel that way, not even my parents. I don't even drink anymore. Like I said I want to be a good person. Being with her makes me forget everything. She makes me happy. She is making me like who I am. I never have been comfortable in my own skin. The thought of losing her, scares the shit out of me. I don't know if I would know who I am without her. Let's hope I don't have to find out._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up from her father's book as tears fell from her eyes. She couldn't get over how much she related to her father. She opened up the bed side drawer and placed the book in there. She needed a break from it for the moment. It was all too intense, too familiar, too painful. Eliot grabbed her phone and opened up her photo folder. She fingered thorough, stopping at the many pictures she had of herself and Aidan. She lowered herself into her bed further looking back to a time when she though her life was perfect. She read his text over again, debating on replying. She pressed her eyes together tightly and finally let herself feel. She cried hard until she felt like she couldn't cry anymore.

Byron sat on the couch closely to Emma. He pulled her in and cuddled her close against him. He planted a sweet kiss on her head, resting his on top of hers. "I wish Eliot would eat something. I'm worried about her Em…this whole Aidan thing has hit her so hard. I wish there was something I can do."

Emma leaned up and gave Byron a soft peck. "You're an amazing brother By…all we can do for her is be here for her. Show her we have her back in this."

Byron exhaled, "I know." Emma gazed into his eyes, "When she hurts I hurt." he said seriously.

Emma smiled at him. "You are so cute right now." she said seductively. She leaned in and opened her needy lips against his. Their kiss turned feverish instantly and pretty soon, Byron was over her. He kissed her hard, pent up passion releasing as he placed his hand gently on her breast and gave it a tender squeeze.

"Let's go upstairs." He whispered against her lips.

Emma smiled mid kiss, "Eliot is up there…plus what would your parents say?" She moaned a little as he grind himself against her heat. Byron smiled liking the sounds he emanated from her.

"My parents are in France Emma…Eliot has been so engrossed in my fathers book she wont come down. He kissed down her neck, displaying a full make out scene on his family couch.

A loud clear of a throat interrupted the two teenagers about to move towards 3rd base. Byron's head moved up quickly, still laying in between his girlfriends legs.

He moved off of Emma with quickness taking her hand with him sitting her up.

"Mom…dad…uh…you're home?" Byron swallowed hard as Emma's face lit up in a bright shade of red.

"Yeah…we are." Dylan said hiding a playful smirk behind his lips.

"Emma." Brenda said her greeting tightly.

"I…should go." Emma got up quickly. The redness from her face still showing bright.

"Goodnight Emma." Dylan said nicely.

"Good night…Mr. and Mrs. McKay." she said softly. She was mortified.

"Tell Donna and David we say hello." Brenda said as she crossed her arms, now amused.

"Will do..later Byron" she said softly as she made her way out the front door.

Brenda and Dylan stared at Byron waiting.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought you guys weren't coming home until next week?"

"And we thought we said no guests in the house when we were out of town." Dylan crossed his arms mimicking Brenda.

"Well…technically you said no over night guests. Emma wasn't going to spend the night." Byron smiled a know it all smile.

"Where's your sister smart ass?" Dylan shook his head. This wasn't the first time him and Brenda caught either of their kids making out on the couch. As a matter of fact the kids had caught their parents as well.

"In her room…ummm does this mean this conversation is over?" Byron smirked hopeful.

Brenda sighed, "Byron…just tell us you guys are being careful. You know Donna and David would actually murder you. And frankly your father and I would have to let them."

Byron walked towards his mother, he kissed her gently on the cheek. "Yes mom…we're being careful…it wasn't like we were doing it." Byron went to walk towards the stairs but Brenda's mom reach smacked him gently in the back of the head. Dylan let out a laugh finding the exchange comical. Byron chuckled taking the stairs two at a time.

"You think this is funny…Dylan who knows how far they would have gotten if we hadn't interrupted them."

"Bren…they're young, he says they are being careful, we have to trust him…besides they were just kissing." Dylan explained.

"That was more than kissing and you know it." Brenda faced him. "Honestly Donna would die."

Dylan chuckled, wrapping his arms one at a time around her waist. "Maybe they have the right idea." He leaned in kissing her neck softly. "Why don't we take over where they left off." his lips came to ear. "You're sexy when your annoyed." he breathed.

Brenda gently pushed him off more irked, then she saw his look and melted, she sighed, "Later I promise…let's go check on Eliot."

Dylan exhaled and knew she was right, that was the reason they cut their trip short. He nodded and took her hand as they went to ascend the stairs. "How are we going to do this Bren? You promised Bran you wouldn't tell her we know." Dylan seemed nervous as they slowly walked up the stairs together.

Brenda took a deep breath, "Well…I guess let's see if she tells us."

Dylan nodded as he gently knocked on Eliot's bedroom door.

"By I said I wasn't hungry, leave me alone." Eliot called out. Her voice broke. As Brenda and Dylan looked at each other they knew their daughter well enough to know she was crying. Brenda frowned sadly as she reached for the door. Turning the knob, she slowly opened it, there was Eliot on her bed sobbing.

"Mom..Dad." Eliot quickly wiped her face in hopes they wouldn't notice. It was a failed attempt. Dylan's heart broke as he moved towards her first. He took her in his arms.

"Oh baby." he whispered as he hugged her tightly. Eliot bawled harder. Brenda made her way over and sat beside them.

"What happened?" she said sadly.

Eliot came out and said it, there was no way she could get out of this even if she tried, "Aidan and I broke up last week. He cheated on me during Christmas break when I was in Spain with Audrey. I broke up with him and he started dating her." her words were understood but barely.

"Shhh." Dylan cooed…"It's okay. It's going to be okay sweetheart." Dylan's eyes met Brenda's. She reached out, her hand coming to her thigh. "He's right…it will take some time but it will be okay."

Eliot stood up dramatically, "How do you know? You guys are soul mates. The great love of each others lives…what do you know about being dumped for your best friend?" she yelled, she looked down at her feet ashamed for raising her voice. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have yelled…I'm just really upset." her hands covered her face as she cried.

Brenda looked at Dylan, her eyes were met with guilt. Brenda got up and moved toward Eliot. She hugged her this time and let her cry. She leaned out from her daughter and took her face in both hands. "Sweetie." Brenda whispered.

"You're father and I have a long history, we were apart for years. We both know what it feels like to lose someone. I know it feels like the end of the world but it will get better honey…I promise. And if you and Aidan are meant to be, time will tell. It's hard to feel so deeply for someone at such a young age. I'm sure he didn't mean for this to happen."

Eliot looked at her mother surprised, "I don't care if he didn't mean it, he still did it. I thought he loved me mom, what did I do to make him fall in love with my best friend?"

Brenda stood quiet, she didn't know what to say or how to make it better. She understand exactly how she felt.

"What your mother means sweetie is that you're both young…people make mistakes and they do things without thinking. You don't have to forgive him but you do have to know it wasn't anything you did or didn't do to make this happen." He moved closer to her and looked into his daughters eyes, "Aidan is a young guy…you know sometimes lust makes you do stupid stuff. It's not right and sometimes its unforgivable. You'll grow from this and learn from it. You'll move past this and move on." Dylan said quietly, "But until your ready to talk to him about it, you have to take care of yourself, give yourself time. Aidan will come around and if he doesn't, he's an idiot and he doesn't deserve you."

"He has been sending me texts and wanting to talk to me. I'm just not ready yet."

Brenda smiled a sad smile at her, "And that's okay."

"I don't think I'll love anyone like I loved him." Eliot looked at her parents seriously.

"You will." Brenda nodded keeping her smile.

"You will fall in love with lots of people in your life." Dylan added.

Eliot crossed her arms, a smirk forming on her lips, "Did you guys love other people?"

Dylan's wrist came up looking at his watch, "Look at the time…jet lag setting in." he moved towards the door. Brenda laughed grabbing his arm and pulling him back in.

"Dylan." Brenda playfully warned. Dylan exhaled and turned towards the curious eyes of his daughter.

"El…you will fall in love again." He wrapped his arm tightly around Brenda's waist pulling her against him, "You may love a lot of people in you life, for different reasons but someday you'll find _the_ person. The person you can be your whole self with, have fun with and trust. Maybe it's Aidan maybe it's not, but you'll know and it will be the greatest blessing in the whole world. Your mom was mine…and it took a lot of mistakes and time apart to figure out that we were meant for each other. We dated other people but no one held my heart like your mom." he leaned in and kissed Brenda's head softly. "Sometimes it takes a lot of soul searching…and sometimes its just the simple fact that real love, is intense for someone your age. It's scary and sometimes its easier to jeopardize it or run away from it then embrace it, sometimes you make the wrong choice because it's easier." Brenda and Dylan's eyes met. He gently kissed her lips.

Eliot smiled, "You guys are gross." she sighed knowing he took David's grandpa's words from him.

Dylan laughed as Brenda smiled looking down. He nodded, "We are…always have been."

"Why don't you come down to the kitchen…I have two scoops of rocky road with your name on it." Brenda kept her smile.

"Okay." Eliot agreed, "I'll be down in a second." Brenda and Dylan nodded and went to leave Eliot's room. "Mom, Dad?"

They two turned around, "Thank you. I love you."

"We love you too." Dylan said first.

Brenda had gotten the bowls out and spoons while Dylan brought the ice cream to the counter and stood closely to her."Thanks Bren." he said softly.

She turned to look at him as she began scooping, "What for?"

He turned toward her placing his hand gently on the back of her head, moving it downward stopping at her neck, "For not ratting me out."

"Dylan please…you hang the stars and the moon with that girl and you know it. That stuff is private and water under the bridge." she looked back down placing the scoop in the bowl in front of her.

His hand came to hers making her set down the spoon, "True but still thank you. I wouldn't want her to look at me differently. Especially because of what she is going through at the moment."

"You're welcome." she leaned in to his hand as it came to her face. He leaned in bringing his lips to hers softly. Brenda wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and deepened it. She moaned softly as his lips moved down her neck.

"Well El…looky here…the apple doesn't fall from the tree." Byron smirked as they stood in the kitchen entry.

Brenda and Dylan smiled breaking apart as they playfully rolled their eyes.

"Huh?" Eliot didn't get it. They both sat at the counter as Brenda set both bowls in front of the twins.

"So are you guys gonna tell us why you came home early?" Eliot said taking a bite of her ice cream.

Brenda and Dylan looked at each other quickly, they hadn't thought of a reason. "Umm…we missed home…we missed you." Brenda said a little too quickly.

"Uncle Brandon." Eliot gritted her teeth. "He is fired as a boy scout." she said seriously.

Brenda and Dylan laughed out loud. Dylan chucked again, "Well there is a first time for everything." Brenda continued to laugh as she leaned in resting her head on Dylan's arm. The twins didn't get it and they rolled their eyes at their parents. The McKay's enjoyed their continued ice cream ritual as Brenda and Dylan filled them in on their trip.

 _So guess what, I got off early today and was able to out the finishing touches on the next chapter. YAY for me. I'm so happy with the reviews and that people are liking this. So next chapter back to school for the twins, I guess the weekend is over or whatever. We have interaction with Audrey and no she isn't Kelly's daughter lol that was a good one though my loyal reader but we do find out that Emma…is Donna and David's. Guess they had an oopsie on their honeymoon. HEHEHE! More journals…spring dance ahem! Pregnancy scare and the break up all coming! Please review…I'm dying to know what your thoughts are just like you are dying to know what comes next._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 3**_

 _ **Altercations**_

 _April 15, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Went down to Baja this weekend. I just wanted to share that my feelings are official, well it was before but now I know how official it is. I ran into this old friend named Becky down there. The swells were happening and the water is warming up so there was a scene down there. Becky was a girl I used to run into frequently down at Zuma and sometimes down in Baja. We used to have a lot of fun, drinking and smoking weed. Anyway off subject, so a bunch of us were hanging out, the bon fire was blazing and the joint was passing, I did not indulge in it however. I never was a pot head and I really didn't enjoy it much anyway but back then I used to indulge in anything that caused me to escape even if it was just for a little while. The vibes were good. Becky and me got to talking about nothing important and she tried to kiss me. I stopped it before she did. I saw her move close to me. I pushed away politely and told her I had a girlfriend. Now see official. Becky was someone I hooked up with before in the past, all the time actually. Her and her friend Mary. I know I'm a prick but still this time, no interest what so ever. The crazy thing is Brenda would never have known. I mean I said good bye to her on Friday after lunch because I wanted to get down there early before the traffic was horrible and she gave me a sweet long passionate kiss, that included lots of tongue thank you very much and a long hug and I thought about her the whole way down to Mexico and even after arriving. She clouds my mind and even though she wouldn't have known, I would have known and I would have felt guilty. Not just guilty, I had no interest in it. It's so weird how you can meet someone and everything changes. I want this to work with her. I want to continue to explore this love thing. It's a first for me and definitely a first for her. Even right this instant, I just looked at the clock to see if it was too late to call her. Diary is this what being whipped is? Who would have thought? Me? In love? and whipped? Holy shit…thank god no one reads this. Even though I adore Brenda, I still have a reputation to up hold. I'm gonna call her. It's been a whole 36 hours without her. If anything just to tell her I missed her and to hear her voice._

 _Dylan_

 _April 25, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I asked Brenda to the Spring Dance today. I left a rose in her locker and a note, it said "Brenda Walsh…will you go to the Spring Dance with me?" she ran to me during lunch, jumped in my arms and kissed me. At first I thought it was a tad lame, but after that response and the response I got when we came back to my house after school, it didn't feel so lame anymore. I have decided on something else too. I decided to get us a room the night of the Spring Dance. Everyone does it, it's sort of clique but I don't care. I'm not going to tell her though until after. I don't want her to freak out or be nervous. If she is into it then she is into it, if not no biggie. Honestly when are we going to have another chance like this, plus if I get a suite and make it incredible on a special night like The Spring Fling which is our version of Sophomore prom, it's a night the two of us will never forget. Tonight at the house, things were intense and passionate and she whispered that she was ready. I'm the one who said soon…not tonight?.She looked at me with wide eyes and I told her her curfew was in 40 minutes. I told her that it will be soon, it will be incredible and I didn't want to rush anything. I think I said all the right things because our intense make out lasted 30 minutes longer only leaving me 10 minutes to get her home. I can't wait, I'm excited. This is so weird to be excited about something I thought was not a big deal but with Brenda it feels like big deal. One week and counting._

 _Dylan_

 _May 2, 1991,_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _It's been a whole day and I still can't wipe the smile off my face._

A knock sounded on Eliot's door. _Damn it, the good part._ Eliot thought. Now that her parents were home she needed to be discreet about this book she found. She stashed it in her bedside drawer quickly, "Come in." she called out. Her door opened as her father peaked in.

"I was about to go to bed and I wanted to say goodnight." Dylan made his way in and sat on her bed facing her. His hand came lovingly to his daughters cheek before dropping it gently.

Eliot smiled at her father, "I'm ok daddy. You don't have to keep checking on me. Like you and mom said, it's going to take time."

Dylan smiled and nodded, Brenda said that he had hung the stars and moon with her but the truth was, Dylan was a pile of rubble when it came to his only daughter. With Byron, they had an amazing relationship. Byron asked about girls, about sports, they did the regular father/son things. Dylan also knew that he was a mamas boy. He was cuddly even to this day with his mom. He hugged her often, took her side in disagreements more often than not and was fiercely protective of her, probably why him and Brandon were so close. Dylan on the other hand bonded with Eliot on literature and poetry. She enjoyed the same things as her dad, where as Brenda and Byron did movie nights and cooked dinner together, Eliot and Dylan were content with a book in their hand and some solitary moments.

"I know sweetie, I just worry about you. I don't like to see you hurt." Dylan looked down shy before looking at her again.

Eliot understood, she smiled, "I know you love me…but don't tell me you're not even a little happy this happened? It wasn't like you approved of Aidan dad." Eliot was serious but playful.

Dylan took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, "Baby…I didn't have anything against Aidan…you have to understand sweetie, you're my little girl and…" Dylan paused for a beat before continuing, "nobody would have been good enough for you Eliot. No one…I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive when it came to the two of you, it was just scary. For a dad, to have this guy come in and take his little girl away."

"Dad…he wasn't taking me away." Eliot said touched by her fathers words. "You'll always be my dad, we're family." She leaned in and hugged her father. Dylan closed his eyes and exhaled.

"That we are." he whispered enjoying their moment. He leaned out as his hand came to the back of her head. "You are a bright beautiful young woman El…and I'm really sorry this happened to you. Aidan is an idiot. Most guys are at that age, I was and maybe somewhere in my head I was trying to protect you from this. But I can't protect you from life, I wish I could but I can't." Dylan leaned in and kissed his daughters forehead. "I love you El." He said sweetly. "You should get some sleep, school tomorrow."

"Daddy?" she said out loud as Dylan got up.

"Yeah." Dylan turned around.

"How did you do it? Go on those years without mom? I mean seeing you guys together now, just seems so hard to imagine."

Dylan smiled, "You know El…some day I'll tell you and the truth is, now looking back, I'm not sure how I did it. I dated, connected with other women but your mom…" Dylan sighed, "She was just the one for me. I felt like I was just getting by through life. I guess we both just had to experience life a little before settling down." Dylan stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled.

"When did you guys get back together?" Eliot asked hopeful he would share it with her.

Dylan chuckled, "17 years ago." he found this amusing she would even want to know. Usually Brenda and himself made the kids grossed out with their affection.

"I know that but how?" Her eyes pleaded with his. She smiled, "Come on…you can tell me." she added.

Dylan laughed, "Good night sweetie."

"Dad." Eliot whined, "Come on…please, tell me about you and mom." Dylan exhaled, he couldn't resist her.

"Your mom came back into my life 17 years ago and changed my life forever. She always stuck by me, no matter what idiot thing I had done and I tried to always be there for her too. It's been 17 years of magic Eliot. Your mom saved me from myself and she gave me the best most important thing she could have ever given me. You and Byron. I will forever be grateful to her for giving me this family and I fall more in love with her everyday. She is my angel El…just like you are. She is my best friend. She makes me a better person."

Eliot sighed, "I hope one day I'm as happy as you guys are."

Dylan smiled, "You will…you have a lot of time to figure it out."

"But you found each other when you were kids, my age practically."

Dylan nodded, "That's true, but it took a long time to get here. What's meant to be will be. Trust me. Good night angel."

"Good night daddy." Eliot snuggled deeper in bed as her father turned her light out and closed the door. How could Eliot not be a romantic having these two as parents. She closed her eyes. She knew the next part of her father's book was going to be sweet, or at least she hoped it would be but it would have to wait until tomorrow.

Dylan and Brenda were still in bed when the twins left for school. They had figured they were _busy_ or jet lag really was taking its toll on them. They parked in the student lot at West Beverly, grabbing their backpacks and meeting in the front of the Porsche. Eliot took a deep breath, she had been able to stay clear of Audrey and Aidan for the week since they broke up. She knew she wasn't always going to have that luck. Byron looked at his sister and knew what she was thinking.

"Come on…I'll walk you to your locker." He wrapped his arm around her as they walked towards school.

Eliot reached for the lock on her locker when they made it through the halls. "There's Emma…I'll see you at lunch El."

"K." Eliot said not looking up from putting in her combination. She opened her locker and took out her first period books, setting them in her bag. She heard her voice before she saw her. "Eliot I need to talk to you."

Eliot rolled her eyes and shut her locker forcibly. She ignored her and began to walk away.

"Come on El…we're best friends…can't you just hear me out?"

Eliot stopped and turned around, she glared at her, "You are not my best friend. You have Aidan now…what more do you want."

"I don't have Aidan and you mean more to me than he does." Audrey said honestly.

Eliot walked closer to her, she got close in her face this time. She wasn't a physical person but she did have a wee bit of a temper like her father, this she knew. "I mean more to you? Then why? Why did you go out with him? Why did you fool around with him over break behind my back?" Her teeth gritted together.

Audrey closed her eyes and exhale, "I don't know." she replied simply.

Eliot laughed, "You don't know? Honestly Audrey you are more pathetic than I thought you were."

Audrey looked down hurt so Eliot continued, "Have fun with my sloppy seconds Aud…you gave up your friendship with me for a fling, let me guess, he got into your pants and now he wants to lay low? Please…you were easy Audrey. I know you both well enough. Just because Aidan doesn't want you anymore, doesn't mean all is forgiven. You're just a jealous bitch that is so miserable with her life she doesn't care who she steps on as long as she feels better about herself."

"How dare you." Audrey seethed.

Both girls started arguing in the halls at once. Audrey got in Eliot's face causing her to push her.

"Hey…what is going on here?" they both heard clearly.

Eliot swallowed and looked towards the voice.

"Um… I was just getting to class." Audrey said nervously, tears in her eyes now. She waltzed away from the scene quickly.

Eliot turned around to walk away from Kelly but she stopped her.

"Kelly…please…" she begged. Knowing Kelly personally not just as a guidance counselor.

"Come on El…I'll write you a late excuse for first period, come to my office."

Eliot sighed dramatically but reluctantly followed her. As the walked in to Kelly's office, Kelly closed the door behind her. She moved gracefully towards her desk as they both sat down. She leaned her elbows on the table and looked at her, "What's going on?"

Eliot sat quiet for a moment.

"Look Eliot you can talk to me about this fight I just saw between you and Audrey or I can call your parents, you pick? This school has a zero tolerance policy on violence and that push alone warrants attention."

Eliot sighed and looked at Kelly. The teenager in her glanced down at the edge of the desk while she talked, "Audrey and Aidan…"

"Ah I see." Kelly leaned back into her chair. "This is over a boy."

"You wouldn't understand, Audrey was my best friend and she just had to sink her claws into Aidan. Stupid slut probably had sex with him too." Eliot went on now that her anger was up to it's breaking point.

Kelly smirked and held her hands out, "Ok…ok I get it. I understand your angry, you have every right to be. But getting into a physical confrontation in school will not help or solve anything."

"I wasn't going to punch her or anything…even though I wouldn't mind." Eliot lowered her voice say the last part, "She got in my face, I just reacted." Eliot explained, which she was being honest.

Kelly took a deep breath. "Look Eliot…I've known you since you were born. I know you aren't a trouble maker and I know you aren't violent. I'm more worried about your friendship with Audrey."

"What friendship, excuse my french Kelly, but that bitch is not my friend. Friends don't hook up with your boyfriends, they don't go out with them after you break up. She is not my friend."

Kelly took a deep breath. "Does your parents know about this, about Aidan and Audrey?" Kelly looked down, remembering how familiar this all was even though it had felt like a million years ago.

"You mean do they know Audrey is a skank…well yeah they do now." Eliot smiled.

Kelly shook her head, she got up and walked to the side of her desk. She glanced at the small potted plant she had on her shelf and grabbed it, "You see friendship is like this plant…and boys are like cut flowers, they are pretty and they smell nice most of the time but they don't last. A plant or a friend, if nurtured and cared for will grow and last a lot longer if taken care of. Does this make sense?" Kelly looked at her oddly.

Eliot chuckled, "Yes…Kel it makes sense but what your leaving out is that plant…or skank in this situation…screwed my boyfriend so I think your metaphor on nurturing and caring for that so called plant skank is over. She already forgot to feed and water it when she was doing god knows what with the pretty flower. The plant has been trashed. Maybe its time to buy a new freaking plant! Now does that make sense?"

Kelly sighed, "Yes…it does." She grunted knowing her analogy was pointless and Eliot was too smart to fall for it. "Are you going to be okay?" Kelly exhaled and sat beside her.

"Are you okay?" Eliot looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you are going through a divorce at the moment, you've been separated for a year now, are you okay?"

Kelly smiled knowing where this was going and also knowing Eliot knew her pretty well, "Eliot going through a divorce is a lot different than breaking up with your high school boyfriend? Of course Im okay but its a lot harder, especially when you have kids together."

"Is it though? I mean guidance counselor aside Kelly…we're family. Maybe you wont be my aunt anymore per say but you knew Brandon in high school right…more of a college romance I guess but is love and loss really that different at any age? Aidan was special to me, and Audrey ruined that. My uncle has been dating and from my understanding you haven't."

Kelly swallowed hard and looked down, she chose her words wisely, "Eliot, I know your hurting. It sucks what happened. Sometimes girls and guys for that matter are selfish and catty and even jealous of what people have. I'm not downplaying your relationship with Aidan but sweetie this will pass, that I promise. Maybe you will be friends with Audrey again maybe not but time will tell. Just let yourself heal okay? And no pushing or altercations at school huh?" Kelly smiled at her niece, or ex niece, she wasn't sure how that worked. She also knew that her own friendship with Eliot's mother struggled through the years and now that her and Brandon were separated, it only seemed to drag them further apart.

"You sounds like my parents." Eliot said grabbing her backpack from the ground and getting up, "Can I have that note, Mrs. Walsh?" she asked nicely and batted her eyes at her.

Kelly got up with a smile and hook her head, she sat at her desk again and began writing the note she ripped the page out of the notebook and held it out to her, "You'll be okay Eliot. This will make you grow up a little and maybe it may change you for the better. It will make you stronger."

"Well…if this is growing up then I'd rather not." she took the note from her, "See ya Kel."

Kelly watched her leave as she took a deep breath. She looked at the phone, she picked it up quickly and dialed. It rang twice and a familiar voice came over the phone.

"Bren? Hey its' Kelly. Do you want to maybe get together for lunch today? There is a new place on Doheny I have been wanting to try?"

"Ah…sure Kel…umm noon?" Brenda asked a bit taken back.

"See you then." Kelly said good bye and hung up. The truth was all this talk about nurturing and caring for a friendship had her thinking. She really hadn't done that much with Brenda. They put up with each other because she had been married to Brandon for many years but now she hadn't had a conversation with her once sister in law in months, a quality close friend like conversation since maybe college days. The truth was Kelly was drowning in the failure of her marriage with Brandon and maybe it was time she started giving love to this plant, the one she had forgot to water a long time ago. Sadly the cut flower had died.

 _Well…so Brandon and Kelly were married and have kids…not together now. What happened, I guess you will have to see. Also how about that father/daughter chat…sweet huh? I picture Dylan being this way if he had a girl. It's fun to write. My other story Long time coming has him and Brenda have a little boy. Anyway tell me what you think? A little something for the BK lovers and the fact that they are separated for the anti Kelly fans. Kisses!_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 4**_

 _ **The Haunting Truth**_

Brenda looked around as she made her way into the trendy new cafe on Doheny. She smiled as she spotted the blonde. Kelly gave her a subtle wave as she approached. Brenda took off her jacket and hung it gently on the back of the chair as she smiled at her long time friend.

"Hey Kel." Brenda took her seat and looked around, "This place is cute." she commented.

Kelly breathed out, "Yeah…isn't it? I saw it a few weeks ago and wanted to check it out." She grabbed the menus handing one to Brenda, "The cobb salad is suppose to be to die for."

Brenda nodded as she opened her menu. Silence filed the table and after a short minute both girls closed the menus.

"Well…if it's to die for I might as well try it." Brenda smiled and looked at Kelly. "So…whats up?" Brenda crossed her arms on the table and gave Kelly her attention.

"Well…it's been awhile and I just thought maybe we could catch up, how are you?" Kelly asked, she wasn't quite sure what to say.

Brenda smiled, "Really good actually…um…France was really good and the play is starting back up in a few weeks…you know busy busy." Brenda seemed awkward, she tried to fight it.

"That's right…your anniversary…how long has it been now?" Kelly tried to act nonchalant.

Brenda smiled a tight smile, "15 years…time flies huh?" Brenda looked to her right hoping the waitress was on her way.

"15 years wow…it sure does." Kelly looks down sadly.

Brenda reaches across the table and sets her hand on Kelly's arm, "How are things with you? You okay?"

Kelly shakes it off, "Yeah…of course. You know."

"Kel…" Brenda isn't fooled by her voice.

Kelly sighs loudly, "It's awful. I guess I just wanted to have lunch because I miss you and with all this mess with Brandon its like I've lost my friendship with you." Kelly looked at her once sister in law, tears subtly filled her eyes, "How is Brandon? I saw on his Facebook page he's dating."

Brenda nervously chuckled, "Oh Kel…"she shook her head not wanting to be in the middle, "I'm not my brothers keeper but he seems to be okay and I'm glad you called. Honestly this new mess with Eliot has brought up some old stuff. I've been meaning to call you."

Kelly smiled, "Yeah…another thing I wanted to bring up. Her and Audrey had an altercation at school today. I brought her into my office to see if she was okay."

Brenda shook her head, "Unreal isn't it? History has a way of repeating itself sometimes huh? Was she okay?"

Kelly cleared her throat, "Yeah…you know El she is tough, she is a lot like her father but she has you in there." Kelly chuckled, "She had some up choice words for Audrey though."

"She isn't in trouble is she?" Brenda now was afraid of this new information.

"No she isn't in trouble. I know Eliot isn't a bad kid. She is emotional and upset. The girls had an argument and Eliot shoved Audrey but it was more a reaction to the fight I think."

"Oh god…I'll talk to her." Kelly nodded and swallowed hard.

"God it's been a long time since we really talked huh?" Kelly looked at the brunette she always had issues with.

Brenda laughed a little, "Like 1994."

Kelly laughed, "Can we change that? I know we hadn't really talked since you and Dylan…"

Brenda interrupted her, "Kelly…"

"No Brenda…let me finish. When Brandon and I got back together, you and Dylan were doing your thing. You were pregnant with the twins and then 10 seconds later I was pregnant with Nate. It just seemed like we were mushed together in this in law family thing. I didn't really get to get this back, get this friendship back. We went from not speaking to family in like a year. We were really good friends at one point, I miss that."

Brenda's head tilted to the side, "Yeah…but things are different now…I mean people grow up, have kids…they move on, they live their own lives. It's not like were in high school anymore."

"Right." Kelly looks down, she bites her lip, "What does that mean exactly?" she looks back at her, confused.

"I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, honestly it's the last thing I want to do. You're my nephew and nieces mom, you and my brother were married."

"We're still married Brenda, we're separated but I mean…we haven't signed anything yet. Regardless we were friends first." Kelly interrupts.

Brenda exhales, she swallows hard, "What do we have in common anymore?"

Kelly sits quiet and stares at her sister in law, "Wow." she breathes out an uncomfortable laugh. "It kind of feels like you're breaking up with me too."

Brenda doesn't return the smile she is given, "No…I just…" she exhales again, "I just don't want to fight…I don't want to fight over Dylan…or Brandon or whatever we fight about. I'm over all of that drama."

Kelly shakes her head, "Fight over Dylan? We just have…so much history I just…figured."

Brenda looks down, "Yeah…I guess I just don't see history a good enough reason to go on this way." her eyes meet Kelly's again. "Especially when we haven't really learned anything from that history." Silence fills the table. Brenda takes a deep breath, "I know you and Brandon spilt up because of Dylan."

Kelly is taken back, her tongue hits the side of her cheek and she is speechless. She didn't know Brandon had given any information on what had happened between them. "Brenda…it wasn't because of Dylan."

"Kelly." Brenda shakes her head, "Look I know my husband loves me. I know you guys rekindled what you had together at Donna and David's wedding, I also know that you guys were back together when we hooked up."

"Brenda…I know…Brandon and I hooked up too. It's like you're hearing one side of the story and you won't listen to my side."

Brenda exhaled loudly, "It's not my business Kelly. Look…this is what I'm talking about. There is just too much…stuff…okay?"

Kelly looked down, anger and hurt now radiating through her, "I'm hungry…I have 30 minutes left of my lunch hour and I'm going to try that cobb salad. You can go…live your life." Kelly looked down at her menu again, ignoring Brenda's stare. She swallowed hard and looked at her. She knew she hurt her and she knew she was taking the separation hard. Brenda nodded silently and got up, grabbing her coat and purse making her way out of the cafe, regretting bringing up Dylan and Brandon.

Brenda walked in her home, she kicked off her heels and looked at Dylan, his eyes raising to meet hers. He set down his book on the coffee table and smiled, "Hey you…how did lunch with Kel go?"

Brenda sighed, "Not well…apparently I'm still a huge bitch that doesn't think before I speak."

Dylan smirked as his head tilted to the side, "Come here…" he out reaches his hand.

Brenda takes a deep breath and grabs his hand as he pulls her to sit next to him. She cuddles into him as he wraps his arms around her, "What happened?" he lightly kisses her head as his fingers run gently up and down her arm.

Brenda shakes her head, leaning out from him and looks into his eyes, "I fucked up."

Dylan chuckles, "What did you do?" he playfully asks.

Brenda sighs again, "Kelly invited me to lunch to catch up, to get our friendship back, not just like when Brandon and Kelly were married like back in high school, the first year in college, to get us back."

"And…what's wrong with that?" Dylan gently tucks her hair behind her ear as he listens intently.

"I…kind of broke up with her." Dylan laughs, he raises his eyebrows.

"Hmm…I didn't know you two were dating…I'm not going to lie and say that doesn't sound appealing though." Brenda gently hits his arm, "I'm sorry baby…I'm kidding…go on." Dylan pulls her into him again.

Brenda leans in and cuddles up to Dylan. "Dylan…I brought up the past and asked her what we had in common anymore. I let it slip what Brandon had confided in us about their separation and you. She went on saying something about there being a lot of history between us as friends and my exact words were…maybe that wasn't enough to continue this way." Brenda shook her head, "You should have seen her face Dylan…I hurt her feelings and she wanted to tell me her side, I just don't feel like Kelly and Brandon's marriage is our business."

Dylan kissed the top of her head, "I know babe…it isn't but you have only heard Brandon's side of their split."

Brenda leaned out, "I know. How terrible am I? I mean I have known Kelly for over 20 years. I can't even blame this on the past, I mean you guys getting together, I got her back I would say." Brenda smiled. "I mean our two 17 year old kids is proof of that."

Dylan smiles and shakes his head, "Bren…I'm sorry lunch didn't go well. You and Kelly will work it out, I know you will. When the time is right, she is your sister in law, or ex sister in law." Dylan shrugged to knowing exactly what it all means, "Everything happened that was suppose to happen. You have to stop blaming yourself for that night. It was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Brenda looked at Dylan, his eyes deep and loving. She set her hand gently on his face. Her thumb grazing his cheek. She leaned in and kissed him. Softly at first, and then feeling Dylan's hand come to the back of her head, he deepened it, she greedily accepted.

The front door opened as Eliot and Byron laughed as they made their way in. They looked at their parents ending their make out kiss.

"Ugh…love everywhere." Eliot rolled her eyes and dropped her back back to the floor.

"And you yell at me for making out on the couch." Byron smiles at his parents. "Which reminds me…I have a dinner date with Emma." he books it up the stairs.

"Well…I guess I'll do my homework since dates or making out is not on my agenda." Eliot reaches down to grab her backpack but Brenda interrupts her.

"Eliot sit down…let's talk." Brenda leans in cuddling with Dylan once again.

"Come on mom…didn't we already have this talk."

"El…sit." Brenda's tone is now stern.

Eliot sighs and sits across from her parents. She leans back into the chair and crosses her arms. A true teenager at it's finest.

"I had lunch with Kelly today."

"Mom." Eliot knows where this is going she sits up, "Nothing happened, I didn't punch her or anything."

'Punch who?" Dylan looks at his wife and then his daughter. He wasn't caught up on this newest information yet. Brenda leans forward and places her hand on Dylan's thigh.

"Honey I know…I just want you to know…fighting doesn't solve anything. I know you're upset, I know you feel betrayed, but shoving Audrey isn't going to make what happened go away."

Dylan looks between his girls, he stays silent trying to piece what had happened at school together.

"Mom…I know that. We had words and I said some mean stuff to her. She got in my face and I reacted. It wasn't a big deal and kelly interrupted it before it got out of hand. It's fine."

Brenda nods and leans back again, "Okay…we're here if you need us in this."

Eliot smiles and nods, "I know." she gets up grabbing her back pack again, "Thanks." she heads up to her room.

"Eliot and Audrey got into a fight?" Dylan looks at his wife. "She said mean things to Audrey? Hmmm…I wonder where she gets that from?" Dylan laughs as Brenda tries to shove him off her. He grabs her tickling her side as Brenda laughs out loud. He traps her as he pushes her back onto the couch. He lays over her he looks into his wife's eyes. He leans in taking her sweet lips to his and takes over where they so rudely got interrupted.

Eliot throws her back back to the ground. She sits on her bed, taking out her fathers book and gets comfortable.

 _May 2, 1991,_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _It's been a whole day and I can't wipe the smile off my face. The spring dance was amazing and being with Brenda was incredible. The whole night could not have been more perfect. We danced, we talked, I told her about room 271 and she was into it. Thank you lord! I had the room set up with flowers and I had splurged and gotten us a one bedroom suite. I told her how much I loved her and we made love. I still can't believe it. I feel like a different person, Brenda asked me how many girls get to have sex for the first time with someone they love and I didn't know the answer. Probably not a lot I'm guessing. I know I just kind of got it over with, this time, this felt like a first time. There was no awkward moment, no quick release just too people in love connecting intimately. My god Diary, it's like my heart is beating wildly in my chest. I don't feel like myself. I don't want to think about breaking up ever but if we did someday…I feel like maybe it would be a relief, I could go back to being me. That's how foreign this all feels. I like being this guy, I like being this devoted boyfriend that is in a serious well now sexual relationship. I love Brenda…at this moment in time, I do not want to feel relief of being me again._

 _Dylan_

 _May 23, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Oh my god…Benda is moving back to Minnesota. I guess her dad got a job promotion, they leave after school ends, before the summer. What the hell am I going to do? This feels so right with her, it feels like it's just the start, this can't be the end? There is so much we haven't done, so much to see and experience. I'm not ready, I love her. Now that we've been together physically it feels like it's too much to think about. What am I going to do with out her? Can we run away? Would she want to? Like Romeo and Juliet?_

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up from the book with wide eyes. Eliot knew that her mom must not have moved, she knew her mother and uncle both graduated from West Beverly in 1993. They had gone to their 20 year reunion 4 years prior. She continued reading.

 _May 24, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Brenda just left my house. She ended things with me. We made love in my bed, and as we were cuddling she was crying. She broke up with me saying she had to do this now. I went surfing yesterday and ran into her and Brandon at the beach, we discussed having a long distance relationship and she agreed at that time that we would try it. Now…she changed her mind. She was crying so hard she made me cry too. I tried to hold her to comfort her but she wouldn't let me. She asked me to bring her home. She didn't even kiss me goodbye. She's leaving and without me. I don't know what I'm going to do without her or even Brandon. The Walsh's are the only family I got. I feel like everyone I love deserts me. My mother…my father…Brandon and most importantly now Brenda too. Brenda saved me from drinking, from my old ways of handling situations, she saved me from myself. How am I going to get through this?_

 _Dylan_

Eliot looks up as her eyes fill up with tears. She wants to hug the 16 year old Dylan. She quickly wipes her face, and shakes her head. She is so emotional sometimes, she knows she gets this from her mother. She knew her father struggled with addiction growing up. They had had talks about teen drinking and getting mixed up with drugs and alcohol. She hardly ever saw her mom or dad drink. Once in a blue moon, wine with dinner things like that. She knew her father was in control and it never seemed like an issue now days. It was like her mom was his angel, now so much was making sense. How her father referred to her mom as such, how this dedication had those same words. In that moment it took everything Eliot had not to skip ahead. She debated back and forth with a defeated groan she gave in. Finally she flipped to the back section of the book.

 _May 18, 2000_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I lay here thinking about why things happen? How you can be in one place in your life and feel like you are where you are suppose to me and then something happens and you are exactly where you thought you'd moved on from. Last night brought me back to where I thought I had moved on from. It was an amazing wedding. Donna and David were actually married. It was an incredible sight to see. Brenda didn't come though. Something about a play, I was more than a little disappointed. Brandon didn't come back to LA either. Maybe it was better. Maybe it was suppose to be like this. Less complicated, now I could fully give myself over to this thing happening again with a certain unnamed blonde. Here me and Kelly are finally getting together, no Walsh's in sight of coming between us. The reception is fun and as we are dancing and having a blast, I think of her, something feels wrong. The night was coming to an end and to my surprise as I leave the gang for a moment to use the restroom I smack right into Brenda and Brandon, they didn't make the wedding but here they are at the end of the reception. I hug Brandon, it had been so many years since I last saw him. After a quick catch up, he senses the awkward silence that surrounds me and Bren and he makes his way into the ballroom. I stare at her, it's like being hit by a truck. Feelings overwhelm me and I step towards her. My hand wanting to touch her face. To feel her lips on mine. Two years. Two years have passed since I've seen her. Two years of trying to piece my life together. Two years of chasing Kelly. Two years since our terrible brake up in London. Two years was not long enough to wipe my feelings of her aside. Now…I sit in my bed with her beside me writing in my journal. Something I hadn't done in months, because she's back. She's back in my bed and in my heart. Diary I sit writing you about Brenda again because she is here and I'm very much with Kelly this time. Finally I got the blonde…yet my heart is with the brunette, I don't think it ever wasn't, being with Brenda feels right, it feels to right the wrong I had been feeling earlier. I thought I was over her, I thought Kelly was what I wanted. What the hell happened? It was like one moment I'm staring into her eyes of sadness and regret and then we are practically taking our clothes off in the elevator up to my room. I can't explain it and sadly I don't want to. I'm finishing this entry with full intention of throwing this journal aside and sleeping with her again. I crave her, I crave her body, her soul her heart. Fuck diary, I'm still in love with Brenda Walsh._

 _Dylan_

Eliot slams the book shut and throws it across the room. _Oh my God…oh my god…my father and Kelly? My father was dating Kelly and cheated on her with my mom? Oh my god._ Eliot swallowed the bile down her throat. Here she has been discussing Aidan and his fooling around with Audrey. No wonder her parents told her time would heal everything. _Oh my god,_ Eliot couldn't speak. Her aunt Kelly was going out with her father? There was so many questions in her mind. It was like Dylan and Kelly almost always wanted to be together but they couldn't because of the Walsh's? _Holy shit._ Eliot was amazed and disappointed. Her father was a cheater, even if it was with her mom. Then Brandon and Kelly, what did they all just hook up the night of the wedding. Eliot hand came over her mouth, _oh my god,_ she thought. May 2000…her and Byron were conceived and so was Nate her cousin. They were a couple weeks apart, all born in February. _Oh my god…my father knocked up my mother that night._ Now she was mad, she skipped ahead. It made her parents love story cheap. Her face went into her hands. Is that why they got back together? Why did they wait two years to get married? She rushed over to her fathers book, she flipped to the back and quickly scanned the pages. There were only 3 entries left after this one, she didn't read them, not yet. Was her mom, Audrey in this? Is this what she had to look froward to? Maybe reconnecting with Aidan just to get dumped again for Audrey? It was to much to think about. She felt the bile rise, the saliva building in her mouth. She made a mad dash to the toilet and threw up. _Her father is Aidan? He was a two timing_ …she threw up again. She needed answers but how was she going to get them? Maybe she didn't want to know. As she read her fathers feelings in this journal, it was hard not to compare it to her feelings for Aidan. She thought maybe just maybe her and Aidan were Brenda and Dylan…now she was thinking maybe she was Kelly in this. Maybe Brenda and Dylan were Aidan and Audrey? She threw up again.

 _Oh Eliot…you as a avid reader should know you should NEVER skip to the back of the book. Especially when your missing a HUGE piece of information, which is…your mother had him first. So what do you think? A little into how Dylan and Brenda came about. Brandon and Brenda were at the wedding after all. Can't you just picture that happening after the series finale. Dylan is happy with kelly he goes to the bathroom just to run into the Walsh twins? I can picture it. Dylan and Brenda fall into old patterns, Brandon and Kelly do as well. Something to picture anyway. Also Brenda and Kelly? How did you like that lunch? A lot of stuff is happening in real life. Way more stuff then in the book? Will Eliot bring this up to her parents, will she even want to read the rest of her parents story? Let me know what you're thinking. *evil grins*_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 6**_

 _ **Weird and Gross**_

Eliot lay in her bed staring at the ceiling. A part of her was so confused, _you think you know people then they just disappoint you or take you by surprise,_ she thought. She loved her parents and she saw them as this power couple. Still crazy about each other after all these years. Still teenagers in their affections, still gross to watch. As weird as it sounds, she thrived to have that one day. Kids and a big house, a loving husband that worshiped her. She couldn't be angry that her parents got together and conceived her and her brother, I mean they were the reason for her existence but it was a hard pill to swallow that she may end up like Kelly. Don't get her wrong she loved her aunt. Kelly had always been good to her. She was always around growing up. Her and Brandon had gotten married before her parents even did. They went to her parents cabin together in Big Bear, spent holidays together, took trips together. Her cousin Nate was one of her and Byron's best friends. So was Alyssa even though she was a year behind them. How weird that her father and Kelly had dated? She didn't seem like his type at all. Was it weird for her uncle and mom too? Maybe not considering Dylan and Kelly were older then and Brenda had dated him such a long time before. But how could it not be weird? It was weird for her and she just found out about it. Kelly seemed lonely and sad now days. She had the love of her life and now she lost him. Maybe she had lost both of them? She shook her head quickly thinking the thought of her aunt and her father was even grosser than that time her and Byron heard their parents having sex when they were 11. It's what had caused the birds and the bees discussion. Which led to a period talk in front of her father and brother. That was humiliating…yeah Kelly and Dylan were worse than that.

Byron kicked open the door and threw up a baseball in the air catching it. "Mom and dad said come down and wash up for dinner."

Eliot leaned up on her elbows. "I thought you had a make out…er dinner date with Emma?"

Byron sighed loudly, "She cancelled, something about her grandma Felice coming over for dinner. I swear that lady…she is so mean. It's hard to believe Donna and her are related. Anyway she said raincheck on dinner. So come down." Byron tossed the baseball in the air again, catching it.

"Alright…be down in a minute." Eliot flopped back on to her back.

"Uncle Brandon is here." Byron added.

Eliot sat up quickly, "What? Why?"

Byron made a face at her, "Yeah…so? He always comes over for dinner, I heard mom say something like, she needs to feed her loner brother at least once a week so she knows he isn't eating frozen burritos or something weird like that." Byron shook his head not getting it. "Who eats frozen burritos anyway…shit this is LA you can get a real burrito at any time of night." he shook his head, throughly grossed out.

"Tell them…I'm sick…I'm not hungry…Tell them I moved to Paris."

"You tell them." Byron rolled his eyes at his sister's melodrama and made his way downstairs.

Eliot huffed, _great_ she thought. How was she gonna pretend she didn't know this stuff about her dad and Kelly? Eliot reluctantly made it downstairs and washed up for dinner. Brenda handed her a big bowl of salad to bring to the table as she handed Dylan salad dressing. Eliot sat the bowl down and made eye contact with her uncle.

"There's my beautiful niece, you doing better than the last time I saw you?" Brandon smiled at her as she sat across from him.

"Yeah…I guess." she moved her napkin to her lap and finally made eye contact with him. She smiled a hesitant smile hoping that was enough to stop his questioning. It seemed to work, Brandon and Byron then started talking baseball and try outs. Eliot kept quiet as everyone finally made it to the table and began eating. Mostly chit chat was happening around her. She listened a little but kept thinking about her fathers book. Him going out with her mother, then switching to Kelly, then back to her mom.

"Is this a new chicken recipe Bren?" Brandon commented, taking a bite. "I swear I haven't ate a good home cooked meal since the last time I was here, it's incredible."

Brenda laughed, "That's why I keep inviting you." she batted her eyelashes at him as Brandon laughed, "At least I know my brother isn't eating frozen lard once a week."

Dylan laughed, "Dude…it' been forever since I've had one of those. Man that's all I ate back in high school."

"Gross dad…" Byron said quickly.

"Exactly By…gross." Brenda added with a nod.

"You like the other recipe better Bran?" Brenda asked her brother. "Dylan can't decide which he likes better." Eliot raised her head from mushing her food around her plate. "So I keep switching back and forth."

"What can I say…I like them both." Dylan said with a smile.

"Can't make up your mind dad? Like having your cake and eat it too?" Eliot's tone was cold…short.

Dylan looked at his daughter oddly as the table silenced. "Yeah why not?" he spoke truthfully with a shrug. "Why choose when you can have both, your mom is a fantastic cook."

Eliot glared at her father. "So typical." she said under her breath.

Dylan looked at Brenda, who in return looked at Dylan. They didn't know what this was about. "Don't you think that's cheating the system, you have to like one better than the other, like chocolate or vanilla…long or short hair…blonde or brunette…" Eliot's voice was icy.

Dylan set down his fork and looked at his daughter, "Are we still talking about chicken?" he said clueless.

"NO! she yelled, "I lost my appetite." Tears filled Eliot's eyes as she got up with a huff. She threw her napkin on the table and ran up the stairs.

Dylan looked at Brenda, "What was that about?"

Brenda shrugged, "No clue everyone knows brunettes are better than blondes." she smiled joking. "Finish eating guys…I'll go talk to her." Brenda gently got up and followed her temper tantrum teenager up the steps.

The three guys looked at each other in silence. "Women." Byron shook his head as he began devouring his plate again. Brandon and Dylan looked at each other.

"Blonde or brunette?" Dylan repeated lost looking at his brother in law confused.

Brandon took his hand and clasped it on Dylan's shoulder, "Byron is right…women. I'll add to that…teenage women…Alyssa is like a different person these days." he shrugged and took a fork full of food, Brandon laughed out loud, "Maybe she wants to go blonde…do you remember when Brenda dyed her hair blonde and it was that awful orange color?" Dylan joined in laughing as he nodded his head amused.

"She still looked hot...if I remember correctly." Dylan smiled at the memory.

Byron looked at his father than his uncle, "I love me some blondes." he smiled. Emma was blonde.

"Me too." Brandon sighed dreamily. "Me too my nephew."

Dylan chuckled, "I'll rest my case…why choose…blondes, brunettes, red heads…girls who make damn good chicken?" the guys laughed as they went on eating. Guys were guys, they didn't have a clue.

"Eliot can I come in." Brenda knocked on her daughters door.

"Mom…please just go away." she said tearfully.

Brenda opened the door, "Not gonna happen sweetie." Brenda came in and sat on Eliot's bed, "What's going on?"

Eliot sat silent. She debated telling her mom she knew everything. She sighed defeated and reached into her night stand drawer and pulled out her fathers book. She looked at Brenda as she did so.

Brenda gasped, "How did you find that?" Brenda whispered. She reached for it and gently brushed her hand over the leather cover. She smiled opening up the first page reading over her dedication.

"When you guys were in France, I found it in the study." Eliot spoke quietly.

Brenda breathed out a laugh, "Oh man…I haven't seen this in forever."

"You've read it?" Eliot asked surprised.

Brenda looked at her daughter with a smile, "Of course…your father wrote this book for me. Well he started it a long time ago but he made it into a book for me. He gave it to me when he asked me to marry him." Brenda shook from her happy memory, "You've read this?" she asked a little surprised, it was very personal.

Eliot cleared her throat, "Well…sort of. I started reading it, now I don't know if I want to."

Brenda smiled, "Too weird…gross, how far did you get?" she laughed amused.

Eliot sighed, "The Spring dance…you moving to Minnesota."

Brenda nodded, "Ah…the good old days…I didn't move by the way." she kept her smile. "I get it's weird though. AHHH my parents have sex. AHHH." Brenda mocked being a dramatic teenager, with her hands up.

"It's not that…it didn't gross me out at all. Actually it's sweet."

"But…" Brenda added.

"I skipped ahead and I know about Aunt Kelly."

Brenda now nodded, "Oh I see. Weird?" she understood, and with Aidan it must be really weird.

"Very." Eliot said shaking her head, "and Gross."

Brenda laughed, "I thought so too. Look Eliot me and your dad were young. We weren't ready to settle down. Guys are idiots sometimes and they think with the wrong head if you know what I mean, him and Kelly were a mess back then."

"He wasn't that young mom."

Brenda tilted her head to the side, "We were in high school. It was the summer before senior year. We were really young El."

Eliot got up quickly, "What? Dad and Kelly went out in high school?" She yelled loudly.

Brenda got up quickly, "You said you skipped ahead."

"Skipped ahead to when he cheated on Kelly with you…at the wedding. Oh my god." Eliot began pacing.

"Shit." Brenda whispered. She closed her eyes, Dylan was going to kill her. "Eliot…ELIOT stop. Sit down." she said sternly. Eliot obeyed.

"Ok…look…I know this is weird…I know this is confusing and hard to understand."

"Mom…isn't it weird for you? Wasn't Kelly your friend? I've been crying my eyes out over here thinking about Audrey and Aidan…and the same thing happened to you." Tears fall from Eliot's eye. "You took him back."

"Oh baby." Brenda took her face into her hands, "I know what your going through. Just hear me out okay, I love your father, I have never loved any man the way I love him. Eliot he is my everything."

"Mom…" Brenda interrupts her.

"He loves me more than anything in this whole world. I know that…that book shows that. People make mistakes Eliot. Your father made a mistake. Sometimes you have to learn from them. I'm telling you that a lot happened in the span of time I've known your dad. Did it hurt me he went out with Kelly, of course…I was heartbroken, it tore me up inside." Eliot cried harder. "Honey…he came back. Sometimes you have to let them go to do what they are going to do, experience what they're going to experience. To make their own mistakes, if they come back, they were always yours."

"And if they don't?" Eliot looked at her mom. Pleading for honesty, for got up again.

"Then…they never were." Brenda said honestly. Eliot wiped her face and breathed out.

"And you and Kelly? You were friends again?"

Brenda looked down sadly, "Kelly was my best friend…after..not so much." Brenda didn't sugar coat it.

"Oh my god mom." Eliot spoke calmly for the first time all night. She sat on her bed exhausted. "And Uncle Brandon? He knows all this?"

Brenda smiled a sad smile, "Yeah…another story another night. Believe me." Brenda sat beside her and picked up her book. "I guess you'll read it in this though, you going to finish it?"

"I don't know if I want to. It's just to much."

Brenda exhaled, "I know…I hope you do because it really is a beautiful story, one with a very happy ending. This book right here is so special to me. It's told from your fathers words, his thoughts, his inner most feelings, it made me love him more. It made any apprehension about our future, our love, disappear. Your dad asked me to marry him but he wouldn't let me answer until I read this book. You and Byron were a year and half old. I'm so proud of your dad, he was such a private person. He wanted to marry me the minute I found out I was pregnant with you and your brother, but he also knew I had my doubts. Read it, and we'll both be here to answer any questions you have, explain whatever you need." Brenda leaned in and hugged her daughter. "I love you so much, you're going to be okay baby. I know it doesn't feel like it…but you will."

Eliot closed her eyes, "I love you too mom, thank you." she whispered.

Brenda smiled softly as she left Eliot's room. As she walked to the top of the stairs, Dylan was coming up. She stopped and stared at him. He smiled at her meeting her at the top.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah…everything is great." She leaned in and kissed him gently. "Did Brandon leave?"

"Oh yeah…he said he'll call you tomorrow. The kids are with him this weekend, he said he had stuff to get together. He said thank you for dinner."

Brenda nodded absently. "Should I go in and talk to her? Did I do something to upset her? She isn't gonna dye her hair blonde is she?" he made a face.

Brenda laughed, "No…and no…let her be. We girl talked and I have something to talk to you about." Dylan raised his eyebrows curiously. He took her hand softly and led her to their bedroom. Brenda went in and sat on the bed while Dylan closed their bedroom door. He slowly walked over and joined her. Brenda took his hand this time looking into his eyes.

"When we were in France, Eliot found Journals D'amour." Dylan's face fell, nervousness in his eyes.

"She read it?" He asked horrified.

Brenda smiled at him before turning serious again, "A little…she knows about Kelly."

Dylan exhaled and got up, he paced a little stopping to look down at his wife, "Damn it." He breathed. "Bren…She's."

Brenda got up and took his hands, "It's okay, she was weirded out by the whole thing but she's okay Dylan. She's not going to hate you." Brenda knew Dylan was thinking just that. When you have kids you never want them to know you aren't perfect. Or that their parents love wasn't perfect. "I told her that I hoped she would finish it and read it all. I told her our story was beautiful and that book made me fall more in love with you than ever before." Dylan softened as Brenda wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She leaned in and kissed him softly.

"It's just so personal Bren…are you sure her reading it is a good idea?"

She kept her closeness and talked softly, "I do. Baby she is going through something right now that she will remember forever. She lost her first love and I think maybe…our story might help her in some way. For her to know its okay to forgive people, to open up and share your feelings, She is so much like you. She keeps to herself, half the time we can't get Byron to shut up while Eliot has always been quiet and a mystery. I think it will be good for her to know that this kind of pain can sometimes be beautiful. Don't you think?"

Dylan took a deep breath, he thought for a moment. "I guess you're right. She'll talk to us though…about things that bother her or questions she may have?" Dylan still seemed worried. He knew Brenda was right, and even though the book was written and made only for Brenda's eyes at the time, he kind of liked the idea of his daughter knowing more about the real him. It was both exciting and scary.

"I told her we were here for her. And if she needed us we would explain, answer questions…what ever she needed." Brenda stared into his eyes. He looked down and made his way back to the bed. He sat down thinking. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair. Brenda flopped down next to him, "Baby…what are you so afraid of?"

Dylan looked into her eyes, tears subtly filled them, "That maybe…when she reads the real me…she'll look at me differently? I don't want her to look at me differently Bren." He looked down trying to hide his emotions.

"Dylan…she will look at you differently." he looked up quickly alarmed, she placed her hand on his cheek, "She'll look at you like an actual person Dylan…strong, sensitive, caring, romantic and sweet. She won't just see you as her father baby…she'll see you as a man who over came life's hardships and got the life and family he always dreamed of. She'll see two teenagers that tried to fight obstacles to be together, she'll see two people that fought their feelings and became best friends, she'll see that no amount of distance and time can come between two people that love each other…she'll see what true love looks like Dylan…and that's something I don't ever want to protect her from."

Staring into Dylan's eyes he relaxed, taking his hand to her face he kissed her with feverish passion. His tongue dancing with her deliciously. His hands grabbed her hips, pulling her to the middle of the bed as he laid to her side, picking up her leg at the thigh, he hitched it forcefully around his hips as he ground into her. "I want you." he whispered against her lips.

Brenda smiled against his mouth, his lips went to her neck as she giggled, "I can see that." Brenda closed her eyes feeling his wet lips and tongue glide across her neck effortlessly. "Lock the door." she breathed.

Dylan leaned up looking into her eyes, a naughty smile spread across his face. He leaned in kissing her hard before getting up and going to their bedroom door. Brenda took her shirt quickly over her head, unsnapping her bra, as Dylan locked their door. When he returned Brenda was wiggling out of her jeans and underwear as Dylan stood at the foot of the bed. He watched her with hungry eyes as he unbuttoned his jeans, taking the zipper slowly down and pushing them down his hips. Seconds later he was over her again. Kissing her, licking her, tasting her, touching her, something he had done a million times over. Dylan kissed up her thigh, her hip, stopping at the raised lightened scar above heaven. He traced it with his fingers, then with his mouth. He kissed along it slowly, closing his eyes thinking back to when the twins were born. This sexy little scar from Brenda's c-section had become his favorite part of her body. He kissed up her navel…her chest, making his way back to her luscious lips. As he looked deeply into her eyes, she smiled at him. He pushed into her then, a groan leaving their mouths as he buried his face into her neck. He moved slowly in and out of her, his lips to her ear, "You were you, and I was I, we were two before our time." His face came to look at her.

"I was yours before I knew, and you have always been mine too." Brenda whispered back.

 _So Brenda and Dylan know about the book. I know no Diary entries this chapter but there will be lots next. Some Aidan and Dylan interaction hehehe…and more about Kelly and Brandon's break up to come. Also a flashback sequence when Brenda finds out she is pregnant. Thats all in store for you in the chapters to come. Also a look into poetry at the end, that poem has some deeper meaning but it wont come out just yet. Please review or I wont show you…evil grin! I mean how are you liking this? It's so different than anything I've done!_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 7**_

 _ **Full Circle**_

 _May 13, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Damn it Damn it Damn it…DAMN IT! I just got home from the Walsh's going away party. Which wasn't a going away party after all. Jimbo changed his mind…which surprised the hell out me considering, even though he hasn't said anything directly to me…I know he doesn't like me. I try to be respectful and nice, I call him sir and shake his hand. I can tell he thinks I'm not good enough for her. Well shit I'm not DUH! Anyway enough about Jim because he's about to hate me a hell of a lot more. Brenda told me tonight she's late. I hugged her and tried to be supportive but holy shit I'm freaking out. I don't want her to know how much I'm freaking out. It's probably just a false alarm. We used protection, we did everything right, oh fuck we've done it like 15 times in like 3 freaking weeks. Who knows when this happened. My god it was probably the Spring Dance. Isn't that how that works? I'm trying to remember health in junior high. A woman's cycle…period….a couple weeks….fertile….couple weeks…period again…right? Fuck if I know…oh my god…please be a false alarm…please be a false alarm…oh my god. I'd be a horrible father. I'm only 16…oh my god, I'm gonna call her…she needs to take one of those test thingys…please god…please please please…I'll be good. If you get me through this I'll never have sex again…ummm fine that's a lie, I'll have Brenda get on the pill yeah…please please please._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up with wide eyes, _holy shit_. A knock sounded just then, almost perfect timing. Brenda peaked her head in with a smile, "Hi mom." Eliot laughed. Dylan stuck his head over hers, "And dad."

"We just wanted to see what you were doing? You know." Brenda swung her arms nervously.

"Yes…I'm reading the book." Eliot playfully rolled her eyes.

"Which part are you on?" Brenda almost child like came in bouncing on her bed. Dylan chucked behind her.

Eliot closed the book and looked at her parents, "So…dad…you knocked mom up twice then?"

Dylan looked at the ceiling, "Yeah…it's a great idea…let her read the book…right Bren…great idea." he exhaled loudly.

Brenda made a disappointed face, "Geez that's it, you haven't gotten far at all."

"Mom…its been like two hours since we talked." Eliot took a deep breath, "Is this what's it's going to be like now? I read one journal entry and you two are going to bust in here? It's kind of annoying."

"We just wanted to see…if you had questions…if you hated me." Dylan said quietly.

Eliot smiled, "Dad…I wouldn't hate you, at least I don't think I would.I haven't gotten that far yet." She stuck her tongue out at him.

Dylan sighed loudly, "Great."

Brenda looked up at Dylan and smiled, Dylan smiled back and shook his head. "Alright well let you read." Brenda got up taking Dylan's hand and pulling him gently to the door.

"Mom…Dad?" Eliot called out to them.

"Yeah sweetie."

"All that drama with us when you found out about Aidan and I having sex. All the fighting…and forbidding me to see him? You freaking knocked up mom at 16! Do I have a brother or sister somewhere living in Siberia?"

"It was a false alarm." Brenda laughed, "But freaking scary as hell. Now you see why I took you to the Gyno for the pill asap."

Dylan gave her a dirty look, "Alright…enough about that." Dylan shook his head, the thought of his baby girl doing it with Aidan was still a touchy subject. One that caused Brenda and himself to have the biggest fight to date in their relationship and marriage.

Then Dylan thought about what came next in the journal he smiled, "Oh yes…just wait sweetie…you're gonna hate your mom soon, she tore my heart out, broke it in tiny little pieces."

Brenda huffed, "I was young and scared."

Eliot lifted up her hands, "Good night guys."

"Goodnight sweetie. Happy reading." Brenda backed her and Dylan out of the bedroom.

They went to their room to retire to bed. "We got to control ourselves and not bust in there every time we want to know where she is in the book." Dylan sighed.

"I know." Brenda sighed as well sitting on her side of the bed and reaching for her lotion. She began applying it to her arms, "God…that pregnancy scare. It seems like so long ago."

Dylan chuckled, "That's cause it was a long time ago Bren."

"I just remember being so scared I was pregnant."

"More scared then when you actually were?" Dylan looked over at her as she laid down.

"Yes…definitely more scared." Brenda smiled at him as they remembered.

 _Brenda bit her nail as she paced back and forth in front of Dylan's hotel suite. She had told him she was leaving, going on tour in Switzerland. Brandon had talked her into coming to the reception in the first place. He wanted to see Kelly. It took a total of 5 minutes to fall back into bed with Dylan, they had had sex 4 times in two days. She wasn't even sure how it happened. One minute they were staring at each other and the next they were practically ripping off their clothes in the elevator up to his room. It was all too much. After their bad break up in London, getting back with Dylan seemed like a very bad idea. He begged her to stay with him, to stay in Beverly Hills but Brenda knew he was with Kelly, or was with Kelly so she made up having to be back in Switzerland and now, a month later here she was pacing in front of his door. She was about to change his life forever. She wouldn't make him be involved, he had every right to know but he didn't have to be a part of this if he didn't want to. She wasn't going to force it. She took a deep breath and reached her hand up to the door, she knocked twice and squeezed her eyes shut waiting for the shit to hit the fan._

 _Dylan opened the door, his eyes wide then a smirk filled his face, "Bren? Come in Come in." He moved to the side to allow her room to enter._

" _Thanks Dylan." she said quietly. She moved into the suite and sat on the couch. He smiled at her, happy to see her._

" _I thought you had left already?" he said pleasantly surprised she hadn't left for her tour. Maybe she was changing her mind about giving them a chance?_

 _Brenda cleared her throat, "Umm…change of plans. I went to the doctor and got some news."_

 _Dylan looked worried, "Is everything okay? Are you alright?' he asked sweetly._

' _Well." her voice got high, "I guess that depends."_

 _Dylan moved towards her and sat on the arm of the couch, "Depends on what?"_

" _Look Dylan…you can be as involved as you want. I'm not going to pressure you into anything that you don't want to do. I feel so dumb. I told you it wasn't a good idea for us to try again and here I am." tears filled Brenda's eyes. This was harder than she thought it was going to be._

 _Dylan moved next to her on the couch. His arm came around her, "I still think you and me is a great idea."_

 _Brenda looked at him, his stare intense and loving like always, "Dylan." she breathed out, "I'm pregnant."_

 _Dylan stared at her, trying to process the information. They had just reconnected and now Brenda was pregnant. "Say something…Dylan?"_

 _Dylan got on one knee and took her hand, "Marry me Bren."_

Brenda looked over at Dylan and smiled, "You were always so sweet and supportive."

"Hey I was just happy you were back and not moving to Switzerland." he chuckled. "You did say no though." he popped his bottom lip and pouted.

"You know why I said no."

"Come here." Dylan reached for her. Brenda cuddled into him. He gently kissed her head. "I love you." he whispered.

She looked up at him, "I love you too. It's been an amazing 17 years."

Dylan smiled, "It's been an amazing 26 years." he corrected her.

Brenda smiled and leaned up and gently kissed his lips.

Eliot barreled through the bedroom door interrupting their kissing, "You broke up with him? What the hell mom?" she yelled. "You weren't even pregnant, you big baby."

Dylan laughed out loud, "HAHA! She hates you…not me."

Brenda sat up quickly, and looked down at Dylan, offended. She cleared her throat, "Your dad cheated on me when I went to Paris…with Kelly!"

"WHAT?" Eliot's mouth dropped.

"Brenda! Come on…not fair." Dylan sat up as well.

"You guys suck…I hate you both. UGH!." Eliot left the bedroom closing the door.

"Mmmm hmmmm…I hate you both…never talk to me again!." Brenda mocked herself.

Dylan grabbed her and Brenda playfully fought him off. "That was cruel." Brenda giggled as he tickled her.

"Oh please…she is going to hate me as much as you…I broke up with you a total of three times. Cheated on you with Rick and broke it off with you to date him. Honey…we were young and crazy. We both did a number on each other."

"Crazy about each other." Dylan kissed her roughly. Brenda kissed him back hungrily. Maybe this book was good for everyone. It sure made them act like teenagers again. Even though they always kind of had acted that way.

"I should call Kelly." she breathed out as Dylan kissed down her chest.

"Seriously babe? You're bringing up Kelly now?" Dylan looked at her, "Man you know how to ruin the mood." Dylan flopped back on his side of the bed. "Why don't you bring up your father too." Boner gone.

 _June 9, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _It was the last day of school today. I saw Brenda after school, she said she was going to take a test today. She was leaving with Kelly and Donna to get one. Diary, what if Brenda is Pregnant?Would she want to keep it? Have an abortion? I don't know what the right answer is. I never thought much to having kids. At least not yet. I love Brenda, I will do whatever she needs me to do. If she wants to keep it, get rid of it, I'll stand by her. I'll do whatever I can to help her, support her. It's my problem too. It takes two people to make a baby. I can tell she's pulling away from me. She thinks us having sex is a mistake. The truth is it was wonderful. I can't regret it. Oh my god…me as a father. I'm freaking out. I don't have a good role model to look towards. My father is on the run and I haven't spoken to my mother in years. I don't have anyone in this. I can't even talk to Brandon about this. He would kick my ass. I'm going to go meet Bren now. Please let that test say she is not pregnant. That way we can carry on how things were last month. Doing it like bunnies, loving each other like two people do._

 _Dylan_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _It's the same day…well it's about 11 at night now. Brenda's test was green. She said blue for positive, red for negative…and its fucking green. Brenda said Donna said maybe that means twins…oh my god could you imagine? Alright…deep breaths Dylan. Do not show her how fucking freaked out you are by this. Be there for her, support her, hug her…just love her. I mean things could be worse right? I could have knocked up a stranger, someone I barely know. We could do this. Oh my god Jim is going to kill me. There goes my chance of ever getting in his good graces. The day I met him, he was judging me. Judging the fact that I had a Porsche, judging the fact that I had an earring. He knew I was bad news and instead of proving that I was a stand up guy, I knock up his only daughter. Fuck my life! Tomorrow Brenda, myself and Kelly are going to the gynecologist. Kelly told Brenda its' the only for sure way to know if its for real. This can not be happening._

 _Dylan_

Eliot read over the entries again. She was glad she never had to go through that. Funny how years later it actually happened and it was twins. _Ha thats ironic._ Eliot looked down at the book again, she was going to read their break up again. Her father said he lost his religion and that that song was playing in the car when she did it. He said how ironic. He felt like he was losing his religion. Eliot grabbed her phone and clicked on the youtube app. She searched Losing My Religion by REM. It was released in February of 1991. An oldie but goodie. She hit play and began reading her fathers entry again.

 _June 10 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _The gynecologist was interesting. I sat around the sterile waiting room reading a child magazine. Anything to keep my mind off what was about to be confirmed or denied. It was a total false alarm. YES! But then…Brenda freaked out on me when I asked if while she was there, it would be a good idea to get on the pill. She said you think it's that easy Dylan, I just pop a pill and you don't have to worry about anything. I was thinking about her. I knew how upset and freaked out this was for her, it was for me too. She said no…I was thinking about myself. Maybe she was right. I was thinking about both of us. Kelly said I was being a total guy. I didn't mean to be but shit…I am a guy. Well at least she isn't pregnant. Thank god. Anyway I went to pick her up for our regular Saturday night date. I was going to bring her to the beach. When I came to the Walsh's front door, Brenda answered with the home pregnancy test in her hand. Her parents found it, they knew her and myself had done it AND that she thought she was pregnant. I was so nervous. Jim didn't even look me in the eye when I picked her up. Cindy didn't either and Cindy always liked me. When we were making out, she pushed me away. I knew she was distant. I asked her what was wrong, she said everything was wrong. I thought maybe her parents made her feel guilty, she said that wasn't it. She said that it made her think about a lot of things. I don't blame her for that. She had a bad scare and even though I tried to be there for her in this as much as I could be as her boyfriend. I knew she felt alone in it. I sat there listening to her explain, while REM's Losing My Religion played in the background. She said she felt lucky that she met someone like me, and I feel lucky too. She said she thought I was sexy and she loved how we flirted and everyone looked at us at school. She was right in the beginning we were somewhat a commodity, I mean, I didn't date exclusively. I hooked up with chicks but I never had a serious girlfriend. Brenda was my first. We were the talk for the first couple months. Brenda was new, our classmates didn't know her that well. Only that she was hanging with Kelly and Donna, who were the in group so to speak. Then she said she fell in love with me, and I fell in love with her. We knew this. She trusted me enough to have sex when she had said no to guys in the past. I know what we have is special, I feel it every day, every time I'm with her. She said it was too scary and she didn't know what we were about anymore. She said she had to break up with me. At first I was getting angry, like stop overreacting Brenda…you aren't pregnant, stop worrying about your parents, and start listening to your heart. I know she loves me, I know she does. She said she knew how she was feeling. She doesn't know how she is feeling, she is just afraid. To me that isn't a good enough reason to throw away what we have. We have each other, we can get through this together. I told her no…NO. She can't leave me. I felt my heart breaking at that moment and I didn't recognize that kind of pain. It was like the world around me crashed down. I don't want to be without her. I cried in front of her. It was the second time I showed my emotions and let my wall down. I tried to talk her out of it. I'm ashamed to say I even begged a little. She stood her ground and I took her home. Here I am laying in my bed writing in this journal. I'm crying again, like how did this shit happen? I let her in and fell for her and she stomped on my heart. This can not be it. Our story can NOT be over. She is taking a summer school acting class. She'll be at school on Monday. I'm going to go there before I head down to the beach. I'm going to try to talk some sense into her. I have never felt this bad before. Not when my mom left, my dad. For the first time since I met Brenda…I feel alone. I hate it, I hate this shit. I said if we ever broke up I'd feel relief, I could go back to being myself. I don't feel relieved. I fell in love with her and she changed me and it feels permanent. So this is heart break. This is real loss. This is losing my religion. Brenda was my religion._

 _Dylan_

Eliot wiped her eyes, this was so sad. She looked at her phone as the song ended. She hit replay. She looked at the time. It was late but at that moment she didn't care. She opened her last text from Aidan. She read it again _. I'm sorry. I miss you El…you're my best friend. Can you please talk to me?_

She thumbed the text message line and her phone keyboard came into view. She hesitated for a moment.

 _I miss you too._ She wrote. She squeezed her eyes shut, the tears falling freely now. To her surprise her phone beeped, he wrote back.

 _I need to see you_

She texted back, _We'll talk tomorrow._

 _I can't wait that long,_ he replied.

Eliot shook her head, he was going to have too. There was no way her parents would let her leave now. It was after midnight.

She saw the three dots appear…then stop. She'd see him tomorrow. She laid down farther in her bed. What was it going to be like talking to Aidan? She wasn't sure she wanted to hear about Audrey or anything like that. Reading her fathers words, twice now, hit her hard. Aidan had lost his father in a motorcycle crash last year. He took it really hard. She had been there for him as any supportive girlfriend would. His mother was a sweet lady. They always got along. She was young and pretty. Small framed with dark brown hair but she hadn't recovered from losing her husband. She was a shell of a women now, Aidan had opened up to her that a part of his mom died with his dad. She got up and went through the motions but he was alone. Now she saw him in her father. A broken little boy. Lost and abandoned. She continued to listen to REM numerous times in a row. This was a good song. Heartbreaking actually. She wasn't even sure she knew entirely what the song was about. Unrequited love? She heard a tap on her balcony window. She looked towards it. _What the hell?_ She laid frozen, maybe she was imagining it. She turned the volume down on her phone, REM now background music. She listened and tap tap again. She tossed her blankets off her legs and walked to her slider. She pulled the curtains back and tried to look, she didn't see anything. She unlocked the slider andquietly slid it open. She saw three little rocks on the balcony. She walked out and set her hands on the railing. She looked down and saw Aidan with his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"What are you doing?" she hushed whispered.

"Trying to figure out how to come up." He looked around. "You think that trellis will hold me?" he whispered back.

"Aidan…my father will kill you." Eliot leaned over the railing a little and looked down. There was a white picket type trellis leading up to the balcony she hadn't ever noticed before, or thought to consider it a way for people to come in or herself to sneak out.

"I don't care." he went to climb up it.

"Oh my god." Eliot watched him. It was like Romeo and Juliet. She rolled her eyes, only she would think like that at this moment. She backed away from the railing as Aidan came into view. He swung his leg over the railing climbing into it. "Shhh…they'll hear you. Byron's balcony is just right there." She pointed to the adjacent balcony. Thankfully her parents balcony was on the other side of the house, over looking the pool.

"I'm sorry." his eyes were big and glassy. Had he been crying? "I got your text and I had to see you. I couldn't wait until tomorrow." his voice in a whisper. "I was scared you'd change your mind." he looked down sadly.

Eliot looked into her bedroom. She exhaled, _jesus christ_ , if her parents came in right now, they would both be dead. "Come on." she motioned for him to come into her bedroom. She quietly closed the slider behind her. Aidan stood by the door as Eliot came into her room deeper. She turned to watch him nervously set his hands in his pockets. He looked around, his eyes stopping on a photo of the two of them. One from winter formal, the most recent dance they had gone to, before break, before his stupid fling with Audrey. His eyes glanced at another, the two of them cuddled together at the beach, taken over the summer. She still had a Valentines day card set out on her dresser as well. It was a birthday/Valentines card from the year before. He smiled remembering, he got her a pair of diamond earrings.

"I see you haven't ripped up our pictures yet." he gave her a shy smirk.

Eliot rolled her eyes, "No…I haven't gone through anything yet." she crossed her arms. Maybe this was a bad idea. He stepped closer to her. She took a step back. He closed his eyes, squeeing them shut as he noticed her back away from him. He opened them, tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry El…I made a mistake. I love you." he said tearfully. "I just want to hold you right now. Kiss you. Please Eliot. I need you." he begged.

Eliot exhaled the breath she was holding. She shook her head. "I can't." she sobbed quietly, "I can't do this."

Aidan rushed her, he took her face in his hands looking into her eyes, "Baby…I'm sorry." he kissed her forehead gently. Eliot's eyes shut. She felt his lips on her forehead, her temple, her eye lid. She cried silently. No…no…no. She backed away from him. She sat on her bed and took a deep breath. Her hands came over her face.

She felt the bed dip beside her, as she opened her eyes, Aidan was sitting next to her, his arm came around her. He looked nervously into her eyes.

"I said we could talk Aidan, it didn't mean anything that happened is forgiven." She tried to stay strong.

Aidan nodded, "Okay…Look…I know I hurt you. I know I made a terrible mistake. El…I miss you. I thought I could do it. I thought I could move on from you. To get myself back, but it isn't working. You're all I think about. I ended things with Audrey…baby she isn't you."

Anger came over her remembering what he did now that the initial sight of Aidan passed. She got up, "You cheated on me, and then when I found out about it and broke if off with you, you dated her? Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

Aidan got up, he set his hands on her arms gently, "I know." he pleaded. "I know…I fucked up. El…I made a mistake. I don't know. Its just things got so serious with us. Your father hated me, your parents found out about us having sex. You got on the pill, everything moved so fast. I got scared."

Eliot tried to move away from him, he pulled her back, "I thought it would be easier. I thought Audrey would be easier. I don't feel the same way about her. Eliot I don't love her."

Eliot crossed her arms, "And now…you just expect me to pretend nothing happened? That you didn't chose my best friend over me?"

"Eliot…I" Aidan began.

"Did you sleep with her?" Eliot's voice was loud. Too loud. She covered her mouth knowing she had just yelled that in a quiet sleeping house. Aidan's eyes flashed toward the door.

"No…no I didn't sleep with her." he whispered forcefully. "I've only been with you, you know that." he tried to explain.

A knock on her bedroom door sounded and her heart stopped beating. "Shit." She tried to think quickly, "Hide." she whispered but it was too late. Dylan's head popped in her room.

"El? Is everything okay?" he pushed the door open widely. His mouth dropped at the sight before him.

"What is going on in here?" his tone loud, he was pissed. Eliot closed her eyes, waiting for the wrath from her father.

"Ah sir…I just came to talk to Eliot…Uh." Aidan stuttered nervously.

"Dad." Eliot interrupted.

"Eliot…we'll talk after…Aidan…you have 5 seconds to get the hell out of my daughters room before I throw you off the friggin balcony." Dylan stepped closer to him.

Brenda rushed in, "What is going on." she froze seeing her husband close to Aidan, "Aidan honey what are you doing here?" she moved quickly pulling Dylan back from making a big mistake, she got between them. Brenda looked at Aidan, his eyes were fearful, teary still. "Come on sweetie, I'll walk you out." Brenda grabbed his hand. All she needed was for Dylan to put his hands on him and get sent to jail.

"Wait…" Aidan pulled back his hand, "Eliot please…" he begged, he wasn't ready for this discussion to end.

Eliot cried louder, 'Please Aidan." she begged, she didn't want the trouble.

"5…4…3." Dylan clenched his teeth. He wanted to beat the shit out of him, for being in this room without his knowledge, for breaking his daughters heart. For proving to be more like himself than he ever wanted for his daughter,

"Daddy!." Eliot cried.

"Alright…that's enough." Brenda said loudly.

"What the hell is going on?" Byron stood in the doorway, wiping sleep from his eyes. "Aidan?" he couldn't believe the scene in front of him.

"Okay…you two go down into the kitchen and wait for us." she pointed at Eliot who was in tears and Aidan standing his ground. "Byron…go back to bed…this doesn't concern you."

"But…mom."

"By…now." she said forcefully.

Byron jumped hearing his mothers serious voice, he hadn't heard it often. He couldn't remember the last time, was it when she found Fred Mancini's bong in his room, or when she found out he had sex with Pamela Davis in his bedroom, while his parents were home. Whenever it was, he listened and went back to his room.

Aidan and Eliot shuffled quickly out of the bedroom and down the stairs, Brenda glared at Dylan.

"Brenda." he groaned, "Don't you start with me. This is not okay."

"You know what Dylan…I won't start with you…but what were you going to do. Hit him? He's a child."

"He's not a child…he's 17 years old…he'll be 18 soon." Dylan swallowed hard, knowing he was grasping.

"Oh so he's an adult but your daughter is not. Dylan do you even hear yourself…you sound just like my father."

"Well your father was smart…he should have worried about me. I was always thinking about sex with you, you know that. Your father had ever right to worry and try to keep you away from me. Exactly what he feared came true, yeah we were in our mid twenties Brenda but I did exactly what he feared. I got you pregnant and I took you away."

Brenda sighed, calming herself, "You did not, I talk to my mom and dad once or twice a week. We got married Dylan…don't you remember how it felt? How it felt to not to be accepted? And don't you lie to me cause it's all in there." Brenda pointed to the leather cover book sitting on Eliot's bed. "Don't you dare under play it. It drove you into Kelly's arms and you know it. I don't want to lose her Dylan." Brenda's lip quivered as she held back her tears. Dylan exhaled and moved towards her. "Please don't push her away." Brenda pleaded.

"Bren…" he whispered, feeling badly.

"Come on…let's get this over with." She turned away from him. She didn't care about Dylan and Kelly. Not anymore. She had been with Dylan for close to twenty years. She just knew the past and the was a fact. She loved her father, but she was well aware he was a big reason her and Dylan had broken up, all of the times actually. Dylan quietly followed behind her as they came into the kitchen. Both teenagers sat at the counter. Brenda stopped as she saw Aidan push back Eliot's hair from her face tenderly. Eliot pulled away. She took a deep breath and moved to face them on the other side of the counter. Dylan followed and took a deep breath.

"Okay…let's calmly discuss this like adults." She began, she looked at her daughter, "What's going on?"

Eliot swallowed hard and looked at Aidan. She looked at her dad, who was staring at her. "I was reading and I texted Aidan. That we would talk, that I would hear him out." Eliot sat silent, she wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want to make matters worse with her father knowing that Aidan had just showed up.

"Mr. McKay…Mrs. McKay. It wasn't Eliot's fault. When I got her text, I was just so happy she wanted to talk to me…so I just got in my car and came over." he looked down ashamed, "I climbed up the trellis to her balcony." he said quietly.

Dylan huffed, "There goes that trellis." he grumbled.

Brenda shot him a look. "Eliot you could have came to us and told us you were going to talk to Aidan, you don't have to sneak around."

"Yeah right…daddy would have never let me talk to Aidan at this hour. Just reading Dad's book just made me feel like I should hear him out."

Dylan grumbled again, "Yeah…read it…again brilliant idea Bren."

"Will you shut up." Brenda looked at her husband, both teenagers hid their smiles wanting to laugh. "Enough." Brenda looked at the teens. "Are you finished talking, because you both have school tomorrow and I doubt Gina wants a call from me at this hour, does your mom even know where you are Aidan?"

"No." he said sadly.

"I figured." Brenda sighed.

Everyone sat silent, "Why don't you think I'm good enough for her sir? Why do you hate me so much" Aidan finally spoke, directing his question at Dylan.

Eliot looked horrified, Brenda raised her eyebrows looking at Dylan. His eyes met hers, it sounded familiar.

"Aidan…you want me to be straight with you. You broke my little girls heart."

"Sir..I.." Aidan tried to explain himself.

"You aren't good enough for her."

"Dad." Eliot pleaded.

"No one is good for her, some day, you'll have kids…preferably in the far far far future and you'll understand."

"Being a teenager is hard Sir. I care about your daughter more than anything. If you're being straight with me…I'm going to be straight with you. You make this." he waved his hand back and forth between himself and Eliot, "So much harder. I'm not giving excuses for what I did. I was stupid and I made a horrible mistake." He looked at Eliot. "I thought it was easier with Audrey. Her father is never around. I don't have to constantly prove myself to him. All I wanted was for you to like me. It's been 2 1/2 years and you still look at me like I'm a piece of shit." he looked down embarrassed he cussed.

Dylan swallowed hard and groaned, fuck this was shit. "Then why are you here son? If it's so much easier then why are you here?"

"Don't you get it, I love her…I love her so much…I thought it was easier but its not. It's not easy. Being without her isn't easy." he looked down again, tears filling his eyes.

Brenda's hand came over her heart touched. She looked a her daughter, who was staring at Aidan. She lifted herself off the stool and wrapped her arms around him. Brenda looked at Dylan, pleading with him to understand, to think back to what seemed like a million years ago. Dylan sighed loudly and shook his head, rolling his eyes. "You guys are young. I get it…I do."

Eliot leaned out from Aidan, "Daddy…you loved mom at my age. It was real? Right?"

Brenda set her hand on her hip, this should be good.

"Eliot…I did. I did love your mom but jesus El. Do you even know how much we had been through together? What I had been through? I didn't have a mom or dad to take care of me. It was different. My upbringing was different. I know you lost your dad Aidan, I feel bad about that and I understand more than you know what it's like to be 18 and lose your dad. But your mom is a good mom. I know Gina, she has her issues but she loves you. I didn't have that."

Aidan huffed out a laugh, "My mother barely functions. She is a looney toon and she might as well be dead too.

"Aidan." Brenda whispered. "What do you mean?"

Aidan looks at Dylan, then to Brenda. He glances at Eliot, who nods to go ahead and tell them. He lightly kisses her forehead, as she stands with her arms around him still. "My mother, lives on valium. She sometimes doesn't get out of bed at all. It's been a year since we lost my dad and she isn't functioning. My aunt Donna tries to get her to go check herself into a hospital, or to see someone, but she wont go." He quickly wiped his eyes.

Dylan leans his elbows on the table. "I'll talk to her, I know your mom, we go way back." He looks towards Brenda for the okay. She gives him a small smile.

Aidan sniffs and nods, "Thanks…yeah I know. She told me you used to date."

Eliot made a face, "What? Dad you're kind of a hoe. EWWW!" she looks at Aidan, who smiles. He shakes his head and roll his eyes, "We're not related werido." he laughs.

Brenda and Dylan laugh too. "It was a very very long time ago." Dylan shakes his head.

"You want Dylan to call her, you want to sleep in the guest room tonight? It's already…geez 2 am. You guys are going to be zombies tomorrow."

Aidan nods, "Thanks."

"I'll show him to the room." Eliot gets up and takes Aidan's hand. Brenda and Dylan watch them disappear around the corner.

"Seriously Bren…you're killing me. You're going to tuck him down the hall? So much for sleeping."

Brenda shakes her head, "Aidan needs us baby. He's practically part of our extended family. It's Donna's nephew."

"Half nephew, come on Brenda, Donna and Gina aren't that close."

"Call Gina…tell her her son is here. I'll go raid Byron's drawers for some school clothes for him in the morning and something to sleep in."

Dylan huffs. Brenda waltzes over to him, she wraps her arms around him tightly. "I'm proud of you. You are the sweetest man I know." Dylan rolls his eyes. "I love you." she says before kissing him gently.

"Yeah…you better." He kisses her back. "You better hope they aren't like us. All we need is an actual non false alarm teen pregnancy like in the book. How many times did I sleep over your house and sneak into your room, for midnight make out sessions?"

Brenda laughed, "A lot." she purses her lips together, "That was fun." she sways her hips leaving him to call Gina.

Dylan growled as he reaches for his cell phone that's charging on the counter. This must be his punishment. This must be his karma. Everything was coming full circle. _Please please god…don't make Aidan be the one. Please god._ he thought, before finding Gina's number in his phone and hitting call.

 _Well well…the plot thickens. I'm not sure if Audrey's mom or dad will be someone the gang knows. I haven't decided. Who could it be? If you have ideas let me know. So Aidan is Gina's only son. I'm not going to explain much because she really isn't a part of this story but Gina moved to New York or wherever she went to and met her guy. Aidan's dad. She got pg with Aidan and moved back to LA. Last year Aidan's dad died in a motorcycle accident. I needed Aidan to be a little broken, like Dylan. Anyway, the reviews are positive so far and I'm so happy about that. I'm working on London and LTC at the moment too but this one is calling so, I go towards the muse. Please please tell me what your thinking._


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 8**_

 _ **Beverly Hills is a Small World**_

 _June 10, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I went to the beach this morning to go surfing. I thought it would make me feel better. I ran into Brandon, I was actually surprised to see him. He hadn't made a point to go back to the beach since his wipe out and what happened with Sarah. Brenda hadn't told him we broke up, which maybe is promising? He assumed Brenda would have told me about his new job for the summer at the beach club. When he mentioned it I played it off. If she didn't tell her brother, I wasn't going to either. I felt good being out of the house though. I must have tried to pick up the phone 4 times to call her over the night and morning. I'm trying to give her space. I have full intention to still head to school tomorrow, it's worth a shot. At least I can see how she is feeling. Brandon went on and on about how cool it was to work at the club. I asked what Nat thought of him leaving the pit for this job, he didn't even give him notice. Well…the Walsh's sure know how to dump on people don't they, especially when it benefits themselves._

 _Dylan_

 _June 11, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well…I went to school today to see Brenda. At least I know that this is as hard for her as it is for me. She was crying and seeing her broke my heart. I wanted to hold her but I kept my hands to myself. The truth is I don't want to break up, but if she needs this time then I'll give it to her. It's funny because I'm the one that has never been in this position before. I have never been in a relationship before, I've never been in love before and here she is the one scared of it. Ironic isn't it? I guess she hasn't been in this place either though. I'm feeling really bad. Mopey even, I'm mad at myself for letting this girl get to me like this. Sadly its too late. She has my heart now and I'm not sure she always won't. God this sucks. Brenda changed me and I don't know what to do about it. I was a loner before, mad bad and dangerous to know. Now I felt love, love like I've never felt and that loner lifestyle is not appealing for me. The only person I have to depend on is me. I was going to try to beg again, I don't care if I look lame. She never makes me feel that way anyway. She told me I can depend on her. Maybe she is telling the truth? But as she was crying, she said something that radiated through me and made me think back to the beginning of our relationship. She's scared…and she doesn't want to be scared with me and I don't want that either. It's actually the last thing I want. If we're meant to be together time will tell. I hope that we are. I'll give her time and hopefully I can get back into her heart. She wouldn't let me take her home, I know why because if we were alone together, I think she'd change her mind. I know she loves me and you know what else diary, I know Brenda is the one. As I walked away from her, my heart physically hurt. I turned to see if she was watching me, she wasn't. I stopped myself from going back to her and literally getting on my knees to beg her to stay with me. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. And I've been through shit. Dylan McKay is alone again. How fucking original._

 _Dylan_

 _June 19, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _It's been 10 days…10 days since Brenda and I broke up and it feels like years. Honestly things have gotten worse. The silence in my house when I'm there is deafening. I miss her. I miss her face, her smell, the way her soft lips feel against mine. I miss the little groan she makes when I kiss her hard and grip her hips against me. I miss the way our kisses get heated and she pulls away, like I can't get enough of her and she can't breath. haha. I miss her smile, the way her eyes shine when she is flirting with me. I miss the way her hair fans around my face when she's on top of me. I miss the way she whispered my name in my ear when were making love. I miss her. Everything about her. How am I going to get through this? Maybe I should date someone else?_

 _Dylan_

Eliot rolled her eyes. _Typical man_. She tossed the book lightly on her bed and went to finish getting ready for school. She brushed through her long brown hair, looked at herself in the mirror. Everyone always told her how pretty she was but she didn't see it. She looked at her bright blue grey eyes. She had recently died her hair a bit darker for the winter and her eyes stood out more. She continued putting on light makeup as Byron leaned against the door frame.

"So…Aidan slept here?" he exhaled, he seemed as happy about it as his father did. He shook his head and walked into the bathroom. He knew Aidan was around here somewhere and he didn't really want to broadcast their conversation.

"Yeah…he came over last night to talk and mom said to stay because it was so late." Eliot dipped her mascara wand and started applying some to her lashes.

"What are you doing Eliot?" he breathed, "Are we dating Aidan Carson again?" Eliot looked at her brother through the mirror. She set down her mascara and turned to face him.

"No…but By…we were together a long time, I think I owe him at least a conversation…besides it's not your business anyway." Eliot crossed her arms.

"You're my sister and you're my business. What pussy ass excuse did he give you anyway? That Audrey wasn't a good lay so he wants you back?" Byron knew he was being mean, he didn't want to be but he couldn't help the protective thing he had over Eliot.

Eliot rolled her eyes, turning back to the mirror, she continued to get ready. "They didn't sleep together By." Eliot said matter of factly.

"Yeah…right." Byron said low.

"He said he didn't and I believe him." Eliot stuck up for Aidan. She really did believe him.

Byron sighed and walked closer to his sister. "If he hurts you again Eliot…I will kick his ass."

"Will you now?" Aidan leaned against the bathroom door frame.

"Aidan…hi." Eliot turned around and smiled.

"Morning El…you look pretty." he said sweetly. His eyes traveling down her thin frame. She was wearing a short flared black floral mini skirt and a cropped cream sweater. She wore her long brown hair free, and had added some beach style waves to it. She wore combat boots to dress it down and the skirt came to her high thigh showing her sun kissed tan legs. Being a surf betty herself she was thankful she inherited her fathers tanned skin and not her mothers fair complexion.

"Thanks Aid." she smiled, "You look pretty cute too, even in Byron's clothes." Aidan looked down and smiled as Byron huffed.

"Jesus." he breathed and left them in the bathroom.

Aidan set his hands in the pocket of his blue jeans and walked deeper into the bathroom. "I think I'm going to have a harder time getting your brother to forgive me than you." he joked.

Eliot smiled, "Yeah probably." she chuckled shyly.

Aidan got serious. He bit his bottom lip nervously and Eliot took a deep breath taking her eyes off his full lips. She knew he was checking her out and that was her full intention when picking out this outfit this morning but now she wondered if it was a good idea, considering she kind of wanted him to rip then off her at this point.

"Will you…be able to forgive me El?" he said sadly. Hopeful even.

She took a step towards him, "If we're meant to be together time will tell." She used her fathers words.

Aidan took a step towards her, his hands came and cradled her face, "You are so beautiful." he whispered looking down at her.

Eliot looked into his eyes. She saw the look she knew well. His eyes searched hers looking for permission to kiss her and she knew this. She stayed strong and reached up to set her hand on his as it rested on her cheek, "We should go down stairs." she swallowed hard.

Aidan's hands dropped from her face and he looked down with a nod. He watched her as she turned to leave the bathroom. "Eliot." she turned around, one hand on the door frame. "I'm not giving up on you."

Eliot smiled a sweet smile at him, she nodded slowly, "I hope you don't." her smile turned into a smirk and she left the bathroom.

Aidan looked up at the ceiling and exhaled loudly. He turned slightly and looked at himself in the mirror. He made sure his hair was styled just so. He had good hair, both his parents did. He took a deep breath, _She is the one…I know it._ He shook his head knowing how whipped he was on this girl and turned the light off in the bathroom. He trotted down the stairs to the kitchen. He stopped in the entrance and took in the scene in front of him. Dylan sat at the kitchen table, he sipped coffee and read the newspaper. Brenda was plating what looked like scrambled eggs, a coffee pot sat close by with a full put of coffee, a plate with bacon sat near as well plus a pitcher of orange juice. It smelled heavenly.

"Babe…you want more coffee?" she asked Dylan.

Dylan looked into his cup finishing it off and got up. "Yeah. I'll get it." he said as he walked over to the side of the counter Brenda busied herself on. He poured himself another cup and watched her. Aidan swallowed hard watching them. Dylan pressed his nose against her temple and closed his eyes. His arm snaked around her waist as he kissed her temple. Aidan saw him whisper something into her ear, she flushed pink and smiled. Brenda leaned in and kissed her husband gently before Dylan made his way to the kitchen table again. His parents used to be this way. His father was a great dad, he was polite and athletic. He taught him everything there was to know about girls, sports and business. He bought a Harley for his 45th birthday, and crashed it a month later. He died from complications from his injuries two days later. His father came from money, was successful and Aidan loved him. He tried to be everything his father, Aidan's grandfather wasn't and he succeed at that as well. Plus he made his mother happy and they adored each other. He missed him, he missed his mother too. He looked at Byron inhaling a plate of eggs and bacon, toast and OJ. He looked at Eliot, she was eating a bowl of fruit and sipping coffee like her dad. Now this was a family. He took a deep breath.

"Hey Aidan…good morning…did you sleep well?" His eyes turned back to Brenda, who was giving him a sweet smile.

Aidan smiled out of his trance and nodded, "Yes…thank you Mrs. McKay…Mr. McKay." his eyes went to Dylan, who now was looking at him too. Dylan gave a quick nod you're welcome.

"Please Aidan…call me Brenda…I don't know how many times I've told you. What do you want for breakfast honey, there's eggs, bacon, fruit…we have cereal too if that's better."

Aidan smiled, he liked Brenda, she was always sweet to him, she was pretty and caring. She understood it seemed, young love, more than Mr. McKay did that was for sure. "Eggs and bacon is good…thank you."

Brenda smiled and made him a plate. "You like coffee or OJ?" she asked not looking up from the plate.

Aidan sat in the empty seat next to Eliot. He glanced at Dylan, who was watching him. He gave him a small smile which Dylan didn't return, he went back to ignoring him and reading the paper. "Um…Oj…thank you..Mrs….Brenda." he corrected himself.

She smiled down at him and set the plate on the table in front of him. "Yes Brenda is much better, I don't know who Mrs. McKay is she isn't even my mother in law." Brenda joked and sat next to her husband, "Right honey?"

Dylan cleared his throat and set down the paper again. "Right." he smiled at her. His eyes glanced back at Aidan. He watched Aidan gobble up his breakfast, teen boys all being the same. He looked at his daughter, she was exquisite. He couldn't blame boys for liking her, she was smart and pretty. She took after himself and was long and lanky. Maybe not the best body for a male but for a female, she was very thin taller than average and had her mothers long thin legs. Dylan took a deep breath and a much needed sip of coffee. Eliot moved taking her bowl to the sink.

"Cute skirt El." Brenda watched her walk back to the table. Brenda chuckled, "I can't believe the 90's are back in fashion." she laughed and looked at Dylan. He didn't look at her.

"It's short." he grunted. Brenda held in her smile, she wasn't even aware he had noticed what she was wearing.

Eliot came to the back of her fathers chair. She set her hands on his shoulders, she leaned down and gently kissed his head. She brought her face next to his, "I heard that." she smiled and kissed his cheek.

Brenda chuckled, Byron rolled his eyes and Aidan admired her in the skirt. "You guys ready?" She leaned up directing her question at Byron and Aidan.

"Yep." Byron quickly scooted his chair back and went to set his plate in the sink. Aidan followed, they ignored each other's close proximity.

"Thanks Mrs. McKay…Mr. McKay. Thanks for your hospitality and for a really good breakfast. I haven't had a real breakfast in a long time."

"It's Brenda and Dylan."

"No…it's Mr. McKay." Dylan didn't look up from the paper again.

Brenda smiled at Aidan and playfully rolled her eyes, "You're welcome anytime Aidan."

The three of them left then, the front door closed and Brenda looked at her husband. "Was that necessary?" she shook her head, getting up.

Dylan pulled her back forcibly as Brenda landed in his lap. She gave him the disappointed look he knew. "You know you have to go talk to Gina today." she looked into his eyes. He was frustrating but she understood too. Dylan was a loving and fiercely protective provider. She loved him for it and even though he was a little too protective especially with Eliot, she loved that he was an amazing father. Something he always worried he wouldn't be.

"I know." he exhaled, "Will you come with me?"

Brenda made a face and Dylan laughed, "Come on Bren…you know how Gina is. Please." he kissed her nose, "Please." he begged kissing her lips. "I don't want to go by myself. I haven't seen her in awhile."

Brenda sighed, "Fine." Brenda relaxed and set her arms around his neck, "How was she last night? When you called to tell her Aidan was here?"

"Out of it…but then again it was 2 in the morning." Dylan shrugged.

Brenda looked into his eyes, his stare loving and intense. She leaned in and kissed him softly. He moved his tongue with hers slowly. He groaned as they separated hearing the phone ring. Brenda went to get up and Dylan pulled her back down, "Let the voice mail get it." he whispered against her lips and kissed her again. Brenda smiled against his lips and shimmied out of his arms. She picked up the cordless phone and turned to face him.

She winked at him and smiled, "Hello?"

"Hey sweetie…good morning." Jim spoke chipper.

"Hey dad…how are things?" Brenda's eyebrows raised and Dylan shook his head. Of course Jim Walsh would interrupt their private time.

"They're good…really good. How's the twins?"

Brenda kept her eyes on Dylan who watched her silently. "Oh you know…the fun of teenagers."

Jim laughed loudly, "Oh I know how that goes? Is Dylan there? Brandon and I are going golfing tomorrow afternoon, we wanted to see if he wanted to join us."

"I don't know dad, let me get him." Brenda pressed the phone to her chest. She walked over to Dylan and held out the phone.

"Me?" he mouthed, Dylan had a silent tantrum, Brenda put the phone to his ear ignoring him.

"Ah Sir…good morning. How are you?" Dylan looked at Brenda, he curled his lip at her. She mouthed "be nice" to him.

"Golfing…great." Dylan's voice faked enthusiasm, he hated golfing. "Sure…okay…tomorrow afternoon…sure…see you then." he hit end on the cordless.

Dylan groaned. He got up silently, only a loud sigh leaving his mouth. Brenda smirked taking the cup to her lips and sipping her coffee, "You going golfing?"

Dylan turned around and leaned against the sink, "I hate golfing." his voice whiney.

Brenda shrugged, "Then why didn't you say no?"

"Yeah right Bren…tell your father no…he never invites me anywhere, especially with him and Brandon. I'll just have to endure it."

"I talked to mom yesterday, she asked me about Brandon's new girlfriend. I told her I hadn't met her. Katie or something. Anyway I bet dad wants to guy talk with him. I bet you're his buffer." Brenda smiled knowingly, she knew how her parents worked. Cindy probably told Jim to talk to Brandon, get the scoop about Kelly and the separation and this new girl he's dating. Jim was was probably brooding about it, she probably said ask Dylan, you all can go, maybe that will help Brandon open up. And after a disagreement, her mother won the battle.

"Great." exhaled Dylan. "I'm gonna shower…we'll head to Gina's soon?"

Brenda nodded and smiled, "I'll join you." she winked at him.

Dylan smiled widely, "That's what I'm talking about." he was cheered up now as he went to start the shower.

Brenda reached for the house phone and dialed Donna, Brenda hadn't talked to Gina much before. Here and there, at the PTA meetings at school, she was at Donna and David's get togethers with her late husband in the beginning, which was super weird. They were nice to each other but she wouldn't call them friends. It was always a little awkward with her and with Dylan. They both were honest women, weren't afraid to speak their minds, she knew Dylan had dated her off and on in the years after he left London. Dylan always said it wasn't too serious but she was fun to hang out with. She wanted more from him and he didn't. Pretty standard information. At least Brenda could ask Donna how bad Gina was at his point. It was probably a good idea to know what they were getting into. She thought she owed it to Aidan and especially their daughter to at least try to help him. Brenda also knew Aidan's late father very well, another thing to add to the awkwardness of Gina and herself. Brenda couldn't help herself, she liked Aidan. He was incredibly respectful and cute. She knew Eliot adored him and she saw the same adoration in his eyes when he looked at Eliot. What she knew and maybe Dylan didn't think much about was that if it wasn't Aidan it would be some other boy. Eliot was strikingly beautiful. With her dark long hair and light grey blue eyes. She had a great smile and an amazing little figure. She surfed her whole life and was naturally thin like Dylan. She didn't have to do diets or work out. But her surfing made her active and she had a toned body without trying. Brenda wasn't clueless, she knew the boys must look at her. At least they knew Aidan loved her. Well at least he said he did. Maybe Dylan did know how pretty his daughter was and that's why he acted the way he did. It also didn't help who Aidan's father was.

"Hello." Donna answered sweetly.

"Hey Don…it's me."

"Bren…I'm so happy you called. I was going to call you this afternoon. David and I are going to have a Barbecue this weekend. Get the kids together, us adults. Andrea is in town. Anyway I wanted to ask your advice. I told Kelly about it naturally and of course I'm going to invite Brandon. Will it be weird?"

"Oh Donna…you know you can't worry about that. Invite them all and if they are weird about it then let it be their decision to come or not. It was bound to happen eventually, the way we get together and I bet Brandon would love to see Andrea."

"Yeah…that's what David said. You're right. This is so hard. You know? I love them both…I know the romantic in me just wishes they could work it out, I mean what could be so bad to ruin 15 years of marriage for?"

Brenda swallowed hard, "I know Don…me too. If not for them at least for the kids. Look not to change the subject I called to ask about Gina."

"Gina…why?"

Brenda sighed, "Well Aidan was here last night and he opened up to us about his mom and that she wasn't handling the death well. I mean I don't blame her but it's been a year and it just sounded like she wasn't functioning, or even pretending too?"

"Oh Bren…you know I try to be there for her. Me and her just always had such a tremulous relationship. I knew she was always jealous of the way I grew up and that my father was a part of my life and not hers. I thought after time maybe it would pass, When she met Stuart though…things seemed great. She was finally happy, had more money than god and Aidan was a light in her life. Now Stuart's gone and…she just isn't coping. We've kind of gone back to the way things were before Stuart. David and I don't know what to do."

Brenda took a deep breath, she still couldn't believe that Stuart Carson was Aidan's father…Gina had married and had a son with him…the man she almost married. It was surreal. It was a small world after all. Even smaller in Beverly Hills it seemed. It was all crazy how connected they all seemed to be, and now their kids were. No one ever said anything out loud, and it wasn't like Dylan to speak ill of the dead, but Dylan was not a fan of Stuart Carson. He thought of him as a shady business man, a son of a bitch, he knew more about him that Brenda ever did and he looked at his son the same way. Gina's blood in there or not. Also Dylan was well aware how Gina was about money and she also knew ever chance she got she brought up how well off he was. Now being the widow of a Carson, made Gina and Aidan, extremely wealthy people. Bye Bye prenup.

"Dylan and I are going over there today to talk to her. Aidan slept here last night. She didn't know where he was Don. We care about him too much, we want to help him."

Donna chuckled, "Dylan? Dylan cares about Aidan and wants to help him?" She giggled.

Brenda laughed too, "I'm working on him. I'll let you go Donna and thanks. We'll see you this weekend for the barbecue, I'll text you in a couple of days to see what I can bring."

"Sounds good…and Brenda good luck with Gina. My house is always open for Aidan too. He's a great kid…I'll do anything to help my nephew. Let me know how it goes."

"Will do…later Donna."

"Bye Bren."

Brenda thought about Stuart and how much Aidan reminded her of him, it was a shame what happened to him. He was a good guy, besides the fallout between them and Gina and Stuart seemed crazy about each other. She wondered if she had lost Dylan like that, prematurely how she would be? Catatonic probably. She couldn't blame Gina for being that way, not at all but she still had a son that needed her. Maybe they could try to help her. The gang was 43 years old. Still young in their hearts. Stuart was a couple years older than them. He died at 45. Brenda shook her head and moved through the kitchen. She couldn't imagine. She hated when Dylan rode his motorcycle. She went with him on rides and did enjoy it, but after hearing about Stuart last year she begged Dylan to get rid of it. He shrugged it off for the most part, but didn't ride it as much as he used too. The one thing Dylan did agree on which made Brenda extremely relieved is that he promised he would never take the kids on it. He would never buy Byron one. He didn't like the idea of Byron riding one either. Probably the reason he bought him a Porsche last year. He'd bought Eliot a sporty Mercedes coupe too, but she had yet to go get her license. Brenda leaned against the door frame in the master bathroom and watched her husband. He leaned into the spray rinsing his hair. She kept her eyes on him as she stripped. She couldn't imagine losing him. She didn't even want to think about it. Her eyes teared up thinking about Gina and what they might see today. If she had gone through with her wedding to Stuart all those years ago, would the outcome be the same? Would she be a widow now too? She stepped into the shower, joining Dylan. He looked at her hungrily. His eyes traveling up her frame, and then his expression changed seeing her face. Tears streaked down her cheeks.

He encircled her arms around her waist, "Bren…what's wrong baby?" he bent down a little looking into her eyes. She hugged him roughly. Her naked body flush against his. Dylan's hand came to the back of her head as he held her. He closed his eyes, relishing in their closeness. "What is it?" he whispered into her hair.

"I don't want to lose you Dylan." she sobbed.

He smiled, "You're not going to lose me…hey…where is this coming from?" He held her tightly.

She leaned out from him, she looked sadly into his eyes, "I'm just thinking about seeing Gina…and about Stuart." Dylan's eyes grew wide for a moment, jealous pinged at his heart. Brenda ignored it. "I can't imagine that happening to us. To the kids? You have to be nicer to him Dylan. You just have too." Brenda thought about Aidan.

Dylan swallowed hard, he took a deep breath, "I know baby…I know, I'll try." he hugged her again tightly.

"Please don't ride your motorcycle anymore." Dylan exhaled, he loved that thing. He nodded, he wasn't a kid anymore. He didn't need it. He had kids now that needed him.

"We'll sell it…I'll sell it." he whispered and closed his eyes. He leaned aways from her, he kissed her forehead, her face, anywhere within reach. "I love you." he whispered before kissing her lips.

Brenda squeezed her eyes shut and nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks, as his forehead rested against hers. "I love you too." she whispered back, their lips coming together again roughly. Their want and need to be close to one another evident. As Dylan picked Brenda up, his hand came up to protect her from slamming her against the shower wall as he leaned her against it roughly. He kissed her deeply, he was thoroughly turned on and knew this was going to be quick for both of them. Then the simple fact that his daughter was in love with a Carson hung heavy in his mind. Maybe quickness wouldn't be the problem of the day. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to get it up again now. Yes…yes Brenda knew how to ruin the mood. First Kelly…now Stuart. Since when did Beverly hills become such a small world?

 _Dun Dun Duuuuunnnnnnn…more info haha! Yep Aidan Carson. Now you know why Dylan isn't all that fond of him. Tell me what your thinking kids! I have more surprises for you. More journals Summer storm ahem! Emily Valentine…Brandon's new girlfriend…no it's not Emily…her name is Katie and she's a new face. BBQ upcoming, more of the kids and their gang, Brenda and Dylan's visit to Gina next up for sure. That should be interesting. Gina was always a little bitter broad. So I know that Aidan's original name was Burke but if you go back to Chapter 2 it's been changed to Carson. A little sneak attack since it came to me when I was messaging about Audrey's possible parents with a loyal reader named_ _starlite22_ _. Thank you for your great reviews, your reminder how much I dislike Kelly sometimes and for being a great fan of my stories. There will be some interaction with Kelly and Brandon soon as well. Probably at the BBQ. You know Kelly and her jealously beware. Please review…love you all and thanks for your support in this story and all my stories._


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 9**_

 _ **Winter Storm**_

 _July 18, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I know it's been a while since I wrote you. Honestly it's been shit. I went to Baja though…I put the maybe I should date someone else to a test and failed miserably. I go to the beach every chance I get. I'm not gonna lie, it helps me get out of bed to be honest. Also it helps me not drink cause right now I desperately want to. Plus in the back of my mind, I keep hoping I'll run into Brenda there. I mean I know she has summer school but I see Donna everyday down there. Her and Kelly hang out, sunbathe and Donna is in the same summer class. So is Andrea…which I haven't seen but I have seen Silver and he's in it too. Maybe she is avoiding me? Brandon yelled at me at the beach today, I tried to warn him about Sandy, she was a twenty something that works at the beach club. She has been involved with a few of the married club members, I think she likes them to pay her bills, but then she got involved in an actual affair with Jerry Rattinger, a big shot around the club and in Beverly Hills. He's wealthy and gets whatever he wants. I'd hate for Brandon to get hurt, Rattinger is a powerful man. Brandon accused me of sleeping with her then he says some shit that made me want to hit him. I would never hit Brandon but if anything would have made me, it would have been this. So I tell him, just go into this with his eyes open, or someone is bound to get hurt regarding Sandy. He says, It's too bad you didn't tell Brenda that before you got her to hop into bed with you. I kept my cool and backed away from him, my fist flinching to connect with him. I told him consider yourself warned. I wasn't going into this shit about me and Bren's relationship with Brandon. He yells in the guys locker room for all to hear, "You broke her heart you know that don't you." I shook my head, and said "No Jones…you got that flipped around…big time." He hasn't a clue. Brenda obviously hasn't talked to him about anything. It's SO flipped around. Brenda broke MY heart. She broke it in such tiny pieces I'm not even sure I can put it together, which brings me back to Baja. When I was down at the beach I ran into Stacy. She is this cute blonde surf betty that I hooked up with a few months before I met Brenda, made out with really. She was fun, likes to surf and did I mention she was cute? Anyway I invited her down to Baja with me. We stayed at the La Boca Grande De Baja. The cleanest motel on the beach. The only place I stay when I go down there. Rosalita is the owner and a total sweetheart. I got separate rooms. I know I'm a pussy. I can't think about being with someone else right now. Anyway inviting Stacy down there was a big step for me. Brenda surrounded my every thought, shit she invaded my dreams. I just dreamt she was the one with me in Baja. We danced, we surfed, we made love in the hotel room and on the beach, it was a trip for the books…then I woke up. Yeah my trip wasn't like that at all. I swear diary if anyone read this. I would be mortified. My reputation would be ruined, knowing what had happened with Stacy. So anyway we get down to Baja. Rosalita is as sweet and welcoming as ever. We put our boards and bags in our rooms and I take her to dinner. We sit there silent the whole time. We have nothing to say to one another. As I look at her cute face, I realize she isn't beautiful like Brenda is, I also realize she isn't interesting or even remotely intriguing. The food is good thank god and I welcome the plates when they arrive so the awkwardness can go away. I ask her dance, which is nice but then she kisses me and it feels all wrong. Her lips are thin, her mouth is too quick. We are not in sync and I feel like she slobbered all over me. I push her away as soon as it begins and tell her I'm super tired and we head back to the hotel. Her eyes are confused and showing rejection. I retire to my room alone and beat off to the fantasy that Brenda was the one with me down here and I go to bed. The next day I meet Stacy on the beach for surfing and she is wearing a barely there bikini, no wet suit, which is weird because when girls surf, a wetsuit is sort of needed, not because the water is cold, its warm this time of year but because the waves will straight up make it fall off. And of course I'm right, her top falls off and I see her little perky tits, she laughs acting sexy and I close my eyes and look anywhere but at them. What is wrong with me diary? The old Dylan would have enjoyed the free show, he would have slept with her, even if she was slobbering on me, she could have slobbed something else. I should be enjoying myself. Getting out there and getting me back. Instead of dreaming of Brenda…passing up easy girls and feeling miserable. Test failed. She's not Brenda. I'm definitely still in love with Brenda._

 _Dylan_

Eliot made a face, ok that one was TMI. Ewwww she didn't want to ever hear the words tits come out of her fathers mouth, or of him beating off or of any girl even her mother slobbing her fathers kabob. She shakes the willies that came over her. She tries to understand that her father is 16 and this is a private journal after all. It really isn't any different than the way she has heard Nate and Byron talk but they do try to limit that conversation when she isn't around. Except maybe Stevie Sanders…he always talked tits and ass and was such a perve. But so was his dad so that wasn't surprising. Eliot smiled she missed Stevie, he could always make her laugh, he had asked her out numerous times. Aidan didn't like it at all. Steve senior was best friends with her uncle, dad and mom. They were pretty close, he was still married to Janet. They had Maddie who was in college at CU and then there was Stevie. _Hmmm maybe I could go on a date with Stevie? Make Aidan a little jealous…that could teach him a lesson…something to think about._

 _Speaking of the devil_ , "Eliot gorgeous Eliot…how are you doll face?" Stevie sat besides her under her favorite tree while she ate lunch and read her fathers book.

She smiled, "I'm okay Stevie…how are you?"

"Well…now seeing you, I'm excellent. I hear you're single now?" he raised his eyebrows at her. He was sort of cute, she hadn't really looked at him like that before. He had this curly blonde hair. Almond blue eyes being half asian but looked a lot like his father. He was handsome and charming, a little on the pervy side but he had a heart of gold, had a great sense of humor and drove a hot red corvette.

Eliot laughed, "That I am Stevie…why you want to make a honest woman of me?" _wait was she flirting?_ _Oh god._

Stevie leaned closer, his face close to hers now, "Maybe." he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Stevie…get off my sister." Byron plopped down on the grass.

"Yes…please Sanders contain yourself." Nate winked at his cousin and sat beside her. "How are you El?" he brought his arm around her shoulders and gently kissed her temple. "Is this guy bothering you?"

Stevie leaned away from her and playfully rolled his eyes, "Walsh…McKay…mind your business. You guys should just get over it…I'm going to ask Eliot on a date one of these days and she is going to fall madly in love with me."

Byron and Nate laughed, "Yeah right."

"Over my dead body." Aidan appeared and lowered himself to the ground. All three guys stared at him. "What…all of a sudden we're all not friends anymore, I'm not welcome to sit with you guys at lunch?" Aidan reached in taking the sandwich Brenda of all people had made for him and took a bite.

"Of course you are welcome to sit with us Aid." Eliot smiled at him. He smiled back.

The guys took a deep breath, if Eliot was okay with him sitting here then who were they to be babies about it. They continued eating their lunch, Eliot put her fathers book away. It wasn't any ones business about it. She hadn't even filled Byron in on it yet.

"So El…about that date?" Stevie looked at her and smirked.

Aidan sighed loudly. "Not gonna happen Stevie." he said short.

Eliot looked at Aidan and then back at Stevie, she shrugged, "Maybe." she smiled at him.

"El?" Aidan looked at her, wounded…jealous.

"Babe…you didn't wait for me." Emma pouted as she sat next to Byron. Phew saved by the blonde.

"I'm sorry honey." he leaned in and kissed her lips gently. "I came to find Eliot."

Emma blushed and smiled, "Well…that's okay then." She smiled at Eliot who smiled back. "My parents are having a barbecue this weekend. I think the parentals will be there, you guys down?" Emma looked around the group.

"Yeah…sure…of course." was the comments around the group.

"Can we go swimming, there is a heat wave coming in and you guys have an awesome pool." Nate said showing his perfect smile. Nate was probably the cutest guy in the junior class. He had Brandon's charm and both his parents good looks. The bell rang out and the gang got up. They scattered but Aidan caught up with Eliot.

"Please tell me you are not going to go out with Stevie?" He gently pulled her arm back.

"Aidan…come on…I have no clue…and besides…it isn't your business who I go out with."

"You are my business…you're my girl." he said quickly. Hurt and shy.

Eliot smiled, "Really…you want to go there now? Look Aidan I think the best thing for us is to be right now is friends. I'm not saying things are over between us, you know how I feel about you but it's gonna take some time. I said time will tell didn't I?"

"I know…but Eliot…Stevie? You know he only wants to get in your pants. He has been waiting for us to break up since we started high school."

"What a welcome change." Eliot said sarcastically and headed to class. Aidan exhaled through his nose and watched her walk away.

"So what…you guys back together again?" Audrey appeared out of no where.

Aidan shook his head, "Audrey shut up…you know how I feel about her."

"Yeah…could have fooled me, since you spent 2 weeks trying to get me into bed." She smirked at him and walked away.

 _That was NOT true,_ he thought. Aidan hadn't tried to sleep with Audrey at all. There was no way he was going to let Stevie Sanders go on a date with Eliot. Stevie was his friend but he knew he was a dog when it came to girls and Eliot wasn't like that. He exhaled loudly as he heard the late bell. He rushed to 4th period thinking about what he could do to get her back.

Brenda took a deep breath as she walked up to the huge porch that surrounded Gina's house. Most of the big houses in Beverly hills had long driveways and even gates, Gina's was open oddly. Maybe Aidan had left it that way when he left to go to the McKay's? Dylan cleared his throat nervously and rang the door bell. A maid in a uniform answered.

"Hi…I'm Dylan McKay…this is my wife Brenda…is Gina here?" Dylan asked politely.

"Yes Sir." she smiled nicely and opened the door to let them in. Brenda looked around, the foyer was big and open. It was so white and sterile looking. Brenda and Dylan lived in a 10,000 square foot house in Beverly hills. It had a private security gate, a long driveway, a lagoon style backyard with a pool. It was probably worth over 20 million dollars now. This house was bigger and it was over doing it, especially for a family of 3…well now 2. "Go ahead and make yourself at home…I'll go get Mrs. Carson." Brenda smiled at the maid. Dylan nodded and reached for Brenda's hand as they stepped down into the great room. They sat closely next to one another on the white couch.

"Mrs. Carson…see what you missed Bren…this could have all been yours." Dylan said with a roll of his eyes.

"Do I sense some jealousy Mr. McKay?" Brenda smirked.

"Pssh yeah right." Dylan was a terrible liar. He looked at her.

Brenda leaned in and kissed him gently, "Liar." she whispered against his lips. Dylan smirked, he was a little, he had yet to admit it.

"Well…well…Dylan and Brenda McKay what do I owe this honor?" Gina smiled a crooked smile at them. She tied her robe, coming down into the great room.

Dylan looked at her, she didn't look well. "Hey Gina…how are you?"

"I'm gooooood." she drawled out. Brenda looked at Dylan, was she drunk? "What did my son do? Please don't tell me he knocked up that gorgeous daughter of yours?" Dylan sighed heavily, Gina limply moved her fingers through her long thick brown straight hair. She hadn't changed much, she was still young looking and pretty. "Those two can't keep their hands off each other. Kind of like we used to be…huh Dylan?"

Brenda cleared her throat, this wasn't the Gina she knew. "Gina we're here because we're worried about you. Aidan slept over last night and he said you were…not yourself lately and we wanted to come check on you." Brenda ignored the comment instead she gave her a caring smile.

Gina laughed, "Oh please…you guys don't give a shit about me. It is kind of funny though…I slept with Dylan…you slept with my husband Brenda…our group was always so incestuous. Loraine…can you get me a dirty martini…you guys want one?"

Brenda and Dylan shook their head, "We're good. Thanks." Brenda's tone had bite behind it now.

Dylan got up sensing Brenda's patience fading, not having the patience for her comments at the moment either especially regarding his wife and Stuart, "Gina what is going on with you? You're drunk in the middle of the afternoon. You had no idea where your son was last night when I called you. Are you on something too? Look I know you loved Stuart, I know losing him is one of the toughest things to go through, but Aidan needs you. He lost his dad and I think he feels pretty alone right now. I know a good place Gina…we can help out with Aidan, you can get the help you need for your depression. Let us help you." He looked at Brenda before his eyes went back to Gina.

Gina got up and threw her hands up drunkenly. "What do you guys know? You've been together for forever. You have two amazing kids. A big house in Beverly hills, I have this sterile empty huge cold house and son who hates me." she wiped her tears quickly.

Brenda got up, "Gina, he adores you and he misses you. He needs you. You have an amazing son. He is so polite and respectful. My daughter adores him. We all adore him." Brenda said now standing in front of her.

"I like you Brenda…but your life is perfect. What do you know about problems? Plus adore him huh…this one is always mean to him he tells me." She points drunkenly at Dylan.

"Hey…I know problems Gina…I've been in your shoes and you know this. You've seen me in my lowest point to date. Alright I'm sorry I wasn't always nice to Aidan…he's a good kid don't get me wrong. They just were moving too quickly for my liking. That's all…it's not personal."

"It's damn person Dylan…you hated Stuart and I was never your favorite person either. Because I wasn't perfect like Brenda or Kelly." Gina took the dirty martini from Loraine who nervously looked back and forth between their guests. Gina downed it.

Dylan grabbed it from her, "You've had enough."

"Oh you would know wouldn't you?" she seethed.

"Mom…I'm home." Aidan called out dropping his bag to the ground. Brenda rushed to him.

"Come on Aidan…will you drive me to my house? You can stay for dinner. Dylan is going to help your mom and meet us later." Brenda looked at Dylan who nodded.

"What's wrong with her?" Aidan whispered to Brenda.

"Come on sweetie, we'll talk in the car."

Aidan's eyes filled with tears as he watched his mom, who hadn't even acknowledged his presence flop drunkenly on the couch. Brenda took his hand and pulled him towards the front door.

"You can't have my son Brenda…you may have Dylan and you may have had my Stuart… but you can't have my son." Gina yelled.

Brenda rushed Aidan out of the house and tried to ignore her.

Dylan watched them leave and took a deep breath, "Gina…let me help you. I care about you…you know that."

"No you don't." Gina started sobbing. "You never did. I'm alone again…I finally found a man who loved me, worshipped me and he's gone."

Dylan knelt in front of her, "You know I do care. Let me drive you to Promises. It's really nice, in Malibu. It helped me. I know Stuart wouldn't want you to carry on this way. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for Aidan. I know what it's like to grow up without parents Gina. Don't let him grow up like me."

Gina broke down harder, her face coming into her hands. "I don't have a drug problem Dylan."

"I know you don't…they help with depression too. Give it a few weeks, if you hate it, I will personally come and sign you out myself." Gina looked at him. After what seemed like 3 whole minutes she agreed. Dylan hugged her tightly as she cried.

"I loved him Dylan. Nobody knew how much I loved him. He was my everything." she sobbed.

"Shhh…I know…we're here for you Gina, you don't have to be alone in this. Let's have Loraine get together some clothes and stuff for Aidan and I'll help you pack a bag. He can stay with us…Donna too. We'll take care of him."

"Don't let my in laws take him Dylan, they hate me, they think I'm a gold digging whore." She hiccuped. "Stuart would never forgive me, he wouldn't want him with his father."

Dylan nodded and helped her up. "I won't Gina…I promise."

Brenda looked over at Aidan as he drove in silence. "You want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what? How my mom is a drunk now all of a sudden?"

Brenda reached over and set her hand on his shoulder, "Sweetie, I'm sorry we didn't help you sooner. Now that we know, we will help…I promise."

"I miss my dad." He said sadly.

"I know you do. Can I tell you something…I knew your dad. He was a good guy." Aidan looked at her surprised then back to the road.

"My dad never said anything, when I started dating Eliot he smiled at me and said she came from a good family. He liked her a lot."

Brenda smiled, touched Stuart didn't divulge information about them, especially bad things. "Eliot and Byron don't know this but we dated back in college. I almost married him."

"What? Seriously?" He looked to her quickly and smiled. "Go dad." Brenda laughed.

"We were young, I was only 19…but after I went out with Dylan, we had a tough break up and I was heartbroken, it was hard to start dating again but I was set up on a blind date by my father, of all people and we hit it off. He swept me off my feet and made me forget all about Dylan for awhile." Brenda chuckled, "You know between us, Dylan wasn't crazy about your dad, I think he was jealous…even though he won't admit it. We weren't the best match but like I said we were young. It breaks my heart what happened to him, he was a good man…I can't imagine." brenda sighed sadly, "But Stuart Carson knew how to woo…I adored him."

"My dad gave good woo?" Aidan smiled.

Brenda laughed, she looked over at Aidan's adorable handsome face, "Oh yeeeah." She raised her eyebrows and laughed again.

Aidan blushed and chuckled.

"Is that why Dylan hates me so much, because of my dad?"

"Dylan doesn't hate you Aidan. I know he's tough. Don't let him fool you, under all that protective tough guy, there is a sweet sensitive guy. Eliot is his little girl. It wouldn't have mattered who came in and swept her off her feet. You guys fell in love and moved into a serious relationship, it was a lot for him."

Aidan smiled, "Thanks Brenda. Byron and Eliot are lucky to have parents like you."

Brenda smiled and looked out the window, she reached into her purse to grab the clicker to open the electric gate. Her cell phone rang at that moment, she brought it to her ear as Aidan started up the private drive.

"Hello."

"Hey baby. Gina agreed to go to Promises…I'm bringing a bag for Aidan too. He can stay with us, maybe we'll talk to Donna tomorrow about switching back and forth. I'm going to drive her there and get her situated. I'll be home for dinner."

Brenda smiled, there was her caring husband she loved, "Thank you baby." she spoke softly.

Dylan sighed, "It's the right thing to do. We'll talk to Eliot and Byron about it when I get home. If Eliot is comfortable with the arrangement…I will be too."

"God I love you." Brenda breathed out proudly.

"I love you too. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Brenda pressed end on her phone. She looked over at Aidan, "Your mom agreed to go to the treatment center to get help for her depression Aid…Dylan is getting your things to stay with us while she's in there. Our house is your house…okay?"

Aidan parked his car and looked over at her, "Seriously? She actually agreed to go?" his eyes hopeful.

Brenda nodded and smiled. "And Dylan doesn't care if I stay here?" he said surprised.

"Nope…it was his idea." Aidan's eyes got big. "I know right…I told you…sweet sensitive guy, it's in there."

Aidan laughed, he'd believe it when he sees it. "Do you think Byron and Eliot will be okay with it?"

"While your getting situated, Dylan and I will talk to them…I know Byron is protective of his sister but he loves you. You're one of his best friends. And I know Eliot wouldn't want you anywhere else."

Aidan took a deep breath, "I can't believe I messed things up with Eliot. I have no clue why I did what I did." Aidan looked down.

"I do." Brenda looked at him, "You're young and people make mistakes. You have had a rough year, and I know my husband hasn't made things easy on you. We all make mistakes Aidan…it's part of growing up. Sheesh I almost ran off to Vegas and married your dad for god sakes, we barely knew each other."

"I can't believe that." Aidan laughed, "I can picture it. You're totally his type. My dad has a thing for pretty petite brunettes, I guess I do too." he shrugged knowing his type was Eliot.

Brenda laughed out loud, "I probably have some pictures somewhere, I'll find them for you, you'd get a kick out of them…come on." She pulled the handle on Aidan's BMW coupe. She got out and as she met him at the front of the car she set her arm around him as they made their way in the house.

 _July 19, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I made up with Brandon today. He explained about Sandy and the truth was she wasn't bad news she was just really unhappy. She got herself mixed up in a shitty situation and I wish the best for her. I knew Brandon liked her a lot and he was bummed, welcome to my world Jones. I did tell him though if he ever asks me again, if I've been with a girl he is into, I get a shot anywhere, and I was serious about that. I finally saw Brenda. She finally came to the beach. She showed up when we were eating lunch with Andrea. She came over, stood close to me and let me put my arm around her waist. It felt nice. The grunion were running so all of us stuck around and hung out on the beach. Brenda sat by me, I saw the twinkle in her eye when she nonchalantly flirted with me. We laughed and joked around with the gang. It was the funnest time I've had since we split up. As the gang went down closer to the water to see if there was any sign of the grunion. I hung back on the blankets with Brenda. She told me it was really nice being there with me…but not being here with me. I kissed the top of her head, like a good friend, I asked her. She gave me a breathtakingly pretty smile. Her eyes sparkling that familiar sparkle I have missed, she told me anything is possible. I got close to her face, I pulled out my best flirt and charm and raised my eyes brows at her, Anything? I asked her. She smiled at me and I leaned in and gave her a sweet soft peck. We hugged longer than appropriate for "good friends" but it was so nice. Maybe I can be her friend or maybe this break is really just temporary. Time will tell I guess, but in the mean time, I'll take this friendship with her. I can't not have Brenda in my life. And to top off the ending to a really good night. The grunion did run that night. I mean, what's more romantic than thousands of fish coming to shore to mate. I had a feeling my dream tonight was going to include mine and Brenda's mating ritual on the beach of Malibu._

 _Dylan_

 _July 25, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _My dad got arrested. They finally caught up with him in Mexico. He is being indicted on 23 counts of federal income tax evasion. He owes more money than he has. All of his assets have been seized. That means I have no access to his money. No money to eat or live. I don't even know if I'll be able to live in this house. Thank god my car is in my name. With losing Brenda I honestly didn't think matters could get any worse but I was so wrong. After I saw the news, Brenda called me. She saw the news too. She begged for me to pick up, asked me if I was okay. I didn't pick up. I couldn't talk to anyone. I know this friend thing with Bren is new, but how serious was she that I could count on her? Instead of calling her, I just went to bed. Tomorrow was a new day._

 _Dylan_

 _July 26, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _There is a tropical storm coming in from Baja. It's brought in some wicked sets to LA. 8 foot swells to be exact. Summer storms…natures gift to surf bums. I know Brenda has been looking for me, she's left a couple messages. I know she is worried about me but the truth is, my father is paying some of the best lawyers in LA to worry about that. I'm good…surfs up!_

 _Dylan_

 _July 27, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well surfs up my ass. Don't get me wrong it was awesome but I got jacked from behind and wiped out big time. I don't remember much after that. I woke up in the hospital. They said I was unconscious. They found Brandon's name and number in my car and they called the Walsh's. When I woke up, I saw her. A brunette angel looking down on me. Her warm little hand on my chest and shoulder. She had tears in her eyes, she was worried about me. She asked me why I hadn't called her back. I was honest with her, I just couldn't talk to anyone. She was almost offended, Not even to me? She asked sadly. I regretted not answering at that moment and apologized. I trust Brenda with my feelings, I was dumb to think otherwise. She has never judged me or thought less of me. She has always been supportive and listened to my problems and concerns. My father knows I'm in the hospital. Since I'm only 16, they had to give the hospital permission to treat me. Looking at her just made me realize that, Brenda is my everything. I need her. I don't want to pretend like everything is fine. I told her exactly that and she knows. I begged her not to leave. I wanted her to stay with me. She kissed me and told me to rest. I have a mild concussion and a few cracked ribs. Cindy Walsh told the hospital I could stay with them, because they want me on bed rest for 5 days so my body can heal. So that's what I'm doing as I sit here…in Brandon's bed at the Walsh's. The car ride from the hospital was silent. I kept glancing up at the back of Brenda's head as Cindy drove us home. She stared out the window, thinking. She hardly even looked at me. She isn't thrilled I'm here. She actually has been avoiding me for the most part. Brandon has been cool though. He is letting me have the bed. Taking residence on the couch downstairs. Cindy made me a fantastic dinner. The lady can cook. I'm a softy for a women who knows how to make good chicken. Roasted chicken with rosemary, broccoli o'gratin, new potatoes and chocolate mouse pie for desert. Holy cow. Cindy is a goddess. I forgot how nice it was to have a family to take care of you when your sick and it feels so nice. I don't know if thank you is even enough. I asked Brandon how Jim was taking the news that I was there. He assured me his dad was cool. Jim Walsh is a lot of things…cool is not one of them. My ribs ache but I ate all the food, it was delicious. I was not about to let all that good food go to waste. I did ask where Brenda was. She hadn't even came in to check on me. I thought maybe she would have brought me dinner. My fear of her not being here for me is being confirmed more and more. She is so freaking stubborn, when she makes up her mind, there is no changing it that's for sure. I like that about her but in this situation its frustrating as hell. Brandon told her I called her stubborn. She showed up at Brandon's door way pouting. She looked cute as hell that was for sure. She had her hair down, her pretty face natural without makeup. She was wearing a short dark blue silky robe. Jesus Diary, I can't even move but I wanted her. I have never seen Brenda in her sleep attire. It's a sight I hope I get to see often. When it comes to Brenda, I can move. She stood there cute and sexy getting angry that I called her stubborn. She was being serious and I'll I wanted to do was lay her on that bed and see what was under that silky robe. She wouldn't even come into the bedroom. I called her out though, saying she was avoiding me. She came in finally and sat beside me on the bed. She looked down at me with her pretty light eyes saying that she made a promise to herself, that she needs this time. I know me being here is bothering her because she wants me as much as I want her. The truth is I don't know how I'm going to get through this stuff without her. She is the only one that I trust. I trust her with my life. I told her not to make me beg, that I wouldn't, even though I kind of had already. I reached up and grabbed her head and brought her lips to mine. Oh god her lips against mine, I felt butterflies in my belly as she got heated like we used too. I moaned out, she felt so good. Then she pushed against my ribs stopping me and those butterflies turned into pain, I practically saw stars. She made me grunt out. fuck that hurt. She said she couldn't do this and as the stars subsided I asked her what couldn't she do, love me? Support me? She said I can't do this. Make out with me I guess. I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about her tucked in the next room. That silky robe, her lips against mine again. I heaved myself out of bed, pain wrenching through my bones and went to go to the bathroom. I needed to pee but a splash of cold water to the face was maybe what I needed. A cold shower is really what I needed but that was out of the question. I don't know why she was fighting this thing between us so much. She knows how I feel about her. I know she feels the same way too. As I flipped on the light, she flipped her side on too and there she stood. My eyes met hers surprised. After going back and forth who can have the bathroom first I took her in. My eyes traveled down her body. Jesus christ, forget the blue robe she was wearing these barely there pajama shorts, short as hell and a matching tank top. I was gawking I couldn't help it. I was vaguely aware I was standing before her in shorts and nothing else. I stuck my hands in my pockets hoping she wouldn't see the bulge I was sporting just seeing her. Her eyes glanced down and I knew I was a lost cause. I told her goodnight and weirdness filled the bathroom. She said goodnight back and went back in her room. Now I'm sitting here writing in my journal, which when the Walsh's brought me here they allowed me to go to my house and grab clothes and stuff. I stuck this journal in my bag not thinking I would really get the chance to write in it. I'm glad I did. I have the woman I love sleeping next-door to me, we are sharing a bathroom for god sakes, her brother camped out on the couch downstairs and a huge 16 year old boner that needs release. God I'm pathetic. Could things get any worse?_

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up and laughed, her dad was funny. It was funny how when he talked about that Stacy person she got really grossed out, now that he was talking about wanting her mom, it was funny. She had problems. A knock rang out at her bedroom door and Byron popped his head in.

"Family meeting…mom and dad want to talk to us." Byron left and she heard him trot down the stairs. I saved my place in the book and went to see what they wanted. I walked into the living room to find my mom and dad siting close to one another on the couch. He had his arm draped around her shoulder looking relaxed and Byron sat in one of the chairs across from them. It was hard to read what their faces were thinking. I sat in the other chair next to Byron's and rested my elbows on my knees.

Dylan pulled his arm from Brenda and leaned forward mimicking Eliot's position. "We call this family meeting because we have to talk to you guys about a new situation that came up this afternoon. Today your mom and I went to see Aidan's mom." Eliot's eyebrows shot up. Dylan looked at Brenda.

"She isn't doing too well and your father was able to talk her in to checking herself in a facility in Malibu to get some help."

"Is she gonna be okay?" Byron asked concerned, Aidan's stupid decisions aside, he practically grew up with Aidan, he knew his mom Gina well. He knew his father well too. They had always treated him nicely and welcomed them in their home. Whether the guys were just hanging out, sleeping over or playing video games.

"She hopefully will be son. Losing someone that you love is hard. I'm sure you guys remember losing your great grandparents. It's tough. And Gina lost her husband, the father of her son and she is struggling with it understandably." Dylan said nicely.

"Where's Aidan? Is he okay?" Eliot stood up concerned.

Dylan's hands came out for Eliot to sit down, "He is okay, I promised Gina that we would help her. Gina is an old friend of mine and I care about her well being."

Eliot smirked as she looked at Byron, "Dad and Gina used to date."

"What?" Byron's mouth dropped, "Way to go dad…she's hot…a total milf."

"Byron." Brenda shook her head disappointed and sighed.

Dylan laughed, and rubbed his face uncomfortably, "It was a long time ago but anyway. Aidan is upstairs, I told his mom he could stay with us, Donna too for the next few weeks so she didn't have to worry about him being on his own. We just want her to get better, so in the long run she can be the mother she used to be to Aidan."

"He's here?" Eliot's eyebrows shot up, "He's staying here…in this house?"

Dylan looked at Brenda, worry in his features.

"Well that's why we called the meeting, we wanted to make sure you guys were comfortable with the arraignment. I know Byron you've had some issues with Aidan recently but I do know how close you guys were. And Eliot, with your recent break up, I know this may be weird for you. Let me add though that Aidan needs us. Gina made a point to your dad she did not want him with his dads family. I do know from the past Stuart didn't always get along with his family. It looks like they are pretty estranged and your dad promised Gina we wouldn't let them have him."

Eliot and Byron sat quiet thinking. Eliot bit her nails, something she never did.

"Sweetie…is this okay? Because if it's not…We can arrange for him to go to Donna's for the three weeks and we'll settle it now." Dylan looked at his daughter.

"But so you know…Donna and David don't have the room like we do. A few nights on the couch I'm sure would be fine but we have two extra bedrooms here. He could have privacy and his own space." Brenda added.

"Im cool with it." Byron finally said, he looked at his sister, "As long as Eliot is."

Eliot sighed, "Yeah…I'm cool with it." she said softly. Brenda looked at her daughter, she saw the uncertainty in her eyes.

"Alright, Byron? Why don't you go up, make sure Aidan has everything he needs. It will give you two a chance to talk. You don't have forgive everything he did, but sometimes things are more important than pride you know?" she looked at Eliot then too. They both nodded and Byron got up.

"Eliot do you mind helping me with dinner, it will give us a chance to talk, if you want." Brenda smiled at her. She sensed that's exactly what she needed. She had a feeling this was a conversation better suited for her over Dylan.

Eliot got the hint, she smiled and nodded, "Sure mom." She got up as Brenda walked out to head to the kitchen and she looked at her father. He smiled a tight smile at her.

"You sure you are okay with this?" Dylan said nicely.

Eliot nodded, "Yeah." she moved towards her dad and wrapped her arms around his waist. She closed her eyes as she felt him return the hug. He kissed her head and rested his cheek on top of it. "Thank you daddy. This means a lot, being there for him, taking him in." She felt her father nod against her.

"It's the right thing to do El…and I would hope that if the roles were reversed, she or one of the gang would do the same for us."

Eliot smiled as she moved away from her dad and went to join her mother.

"Eliot?" Dylan called out. She turned around quickly.

"We expect that you respect the rules of this house. We trust you to not make this more difficult. No funny business please." Dylan begged with his eyes.

Eliot smiled, "You mean sex? Daddy…Aidan and I are trying a go at being friends. We aren't even going out."

Dylan nodded and exhaled, "Not sex exactly…I know your just friends…but I also know sometimes it doesn't work like that. When feelings are there and urges." he shook his head not wanting to say more.

Eliot held in her smile as she crossed her arms, "Like silky blue robes, short shorts and tank top kind of urges?" she smirked.

Dylan's brow creased together not getting it, then his eyes widened and his mouth dropped, he breathed out a laugh, his hands going to his face as he roughly dragged them down it. He looked to the ceiling and breathed out. Eliot hopped down the living room steps and as her father looked at her guilty she gently kissed his cheek, "I get it dad, no funny business." she laughed, "You know you're pretty cool after all." she smiled and turned to join her mother.

"I'm not cool El…I'm not that cool." he yelled after her. He grunted out. "that fucking book." he whispered to himself and flopped down on the couch shaking is head. _She is smart ass like her mother,_ He thought _._ He chuckled remembering Brenda in those short shorts and surprising each other in the bathroom. He shook his head, leaning his elbows to his knees as he breathed out. Thinking about the fantasies he had about Brenda being next door, then their hot makeup session on the couch, and Jim walking in and losing his shit. He suddenly had a lot more respect for his father in law. He then briefly wondered if he could get away with putting a lock on Eliot's door.

 _HAHA ok so there is the beginning of Summer storm, the mess with Gina and the McKay's new house guest. It's not summer, its officially winter in Beverly Hills in real life time frame, the holidays are past, their xmas break has passed so we are still in that time frame, considering Eliot and Aidan broke up after winter break. Hence the title of this chapter. You guys are going to love Stevie. Coming up, some Byron and Aidan convo, Brenda and Eliot chat while making dinner, some run ins with Aidan and Eliot and more summer storm action from the journal…shedding light on Jim and his no go attitude for Dylan. Hope you guys are liking this. The BBQ should be the next chapter after the next one. Which will be fun to see some of the old gang as adults. Maybe even a surprise guest. wink wink. Review…I know these chapters are coming fast and furious. If I don't get the reviews, I'll have to hold on to them longer then. HEHEHE I know I'm mean._


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 10**_

 _ **Pride and Strength**_

Aidan hung the last of his shirts in the guest closet and took a deep breath. He looked around at his new room for the next 3 weeks. Then he thought about his mother.

"Hey Bro." Byron knocks on the open door to the guest room, "Can I come in?"

Aidan nods, "Sure man…oh course."

Byron awkwardly makes his way in and leans himself against the dresser. Silence fills the room and he doesn't know exactly what to say.

Aidan starts, "Look By…I'm sorry. You're like a brother to me and I messed up. You trusted me with your sister and I just straight fucked it up." He swallowed hard and looks at him.

Byron takes a deep breath, thankful he started off with that, "I'm sorry too. I should have minded my own business but you have to understand Eliot is my sister. We shared a womb. She is my best friend and I just always was raised to have her back. It was hard though, cause you've always been a good friend to me, I'm always going to choose her."

"I know man…that's how it should be."

Byron nodded and silence filled the bedroom again.

Aidan smirked, "Alright bring it in, no more chick shit. We're cool yes?" They hug like boys with a slap on their backs and like that they are made up. Men are simple creatures. They both know this.

They lean out from each other and Byron smiles as he gasps his hand roughly to Aidan's shoulder, "You hurt my sister again I will literally kick your ass."

"Like literally literally?" jokes Aidan

"Like literally." confirms Byron, they begin to play fight.

Brenda and Eliot were layering the lasagna, side by side in the kitchen. "So this arrangement, is it really okay with you El?"

Eliot exhaled and nodded, "It is…there isn't anywhere else I'd want him to be…it's just, weird you know."

"How so?" Brenda pointed to the sauce to have Eliot layer it on the noodles that they had set down.

"Well I mean mom…first you and dad tell me not to sleep with him and then you tuck him in the next room."

Brenda's eyes widened as she set down a noodle, "Woah…deja vu."

Eliot laughs, "What do you mean?

"I said that exact thing to my mom. You're tripping me out." Brenda shook her head with a smile and started layering the lasagna again, she continued. "I never told you not to sleep with him, your dad maybe but not me, I'm not stuck in 1920."

"True." Eliot giggled, "But still he hurt me and I'm sad about it but it doesn't mean that I care about him less. You know, it's hard to not just want to kiss him and forgive him, you know? Especially when he is all apologizing and cute. UGH"

Brenda chuckles, "I do know about that. I guess when the timing is right, you'll figure out if what you have is more important than the mistake he made."

"Is that what you did with daddy?" Eliot looked at her.

Brenda bit the inside of her lip and thought about it, "No Eliot, that's not what I did because he chose…Kelly." she looked sadly at her daughter. She moved her head towards the noodles, to hint to continue.

"What?" Eliot whispered, "Why" her voice broke.

Brenda kept quiet and finished layering the last layer as Eliot froze into place. She carried it to the oven, setting it inside gently. She closed the oven door and turned, her eyes meeting Eliot's. She quickly took the back of her hand and wiped a tear that fell from her eye.

"Mom…are you crying?" Eliot whispered, she felt the tears come too just looking at her mom upset.

Brenda sniffed and walked over to the counter. She turned and used her hands to pull herself up on it. "Me and your dad had a very intense connection. We loved each other very much. The truth was El, I would have taken your dad back in a second. Even after he dated her but the hard truth was, his truth was…he liked her." she shrugged.

"Not more than you." Eliot was still shocked.

"No…probably not but you know it wasn't black and white El, these things are complicated. People hide their feelings, one person may think its too late, the other person may not think the other person feels the same. There is just so much that happens at times." Brenda spoke softly, "Losing your dad to Kelly, was still to this date, the hardest thing I ever went through. I cared and loved him so much, I huge hole was gone from me and that hole lasted years. It still hurts…Obviously." Brenda held her hand up to the tears that filled her eyes. "But you know baby…we got closer and became friends. He tried to come back, at the beginning of our freshman year in college. I rejected him but it wasn't because I didn't want him, it was because I was afraid I'd lose him again to her."

"Did he stay with her?"

"Yeah…well sort of…Kelly and your dad broke up a bunch of times. The grass isn't always greener and you know your aunt Kelly was very insecure about my relationship with your dad. She knew we had a connection. She knew…deep inside…he still loved me…she knew she was the easier choice."

"I'm sorry mom…I can't imagine. Here Aidan ended things with Audrey right away, I don't have to see them together, I just have to live with the fact he went behind my back with her." Eliot rolled her eyes.

Brenda smiled, "That's good…he's already better than your dad." Brenda laughed. "Eliot your father didn't mean to hurt me. Just like I didn't mean to hurt him in the time you are reading about now. Things get scary you know. Your grandpa…didn't like Dylan when we dated.

He came between us numerous times. It wasn't until years later, after you and By were born I found out just how far he took it. I read it in your fathers book, you will read it too. All this may make a little more sense." Brenda hopped down off the counter. "Should we do salad too?" Brenda asked changing the subject.

Eliot went over and hugged her mom, "You are the strongest woman I know." Brenda smiled and closed her eyes.

She leaned out from her, "No…I'm not. But Eliot, you never know how strong you are…until being strong is the only choice you have. It worked out in the end."

Dylan closes his eyes from behind the wall, having listened to Eliot and Brenda's full conversation. The ache in his heart from hearing Brenda talk about their past still resonated through him. Even though things are fine now days, it still haunts the both of them. He looks up the stairs, hearing the boys rough house. He swallows his pride and walks up the stairs, knowing what he has to do. He stands at the doorway, his arms crossed with a playful smirk watching the boys, "I see you two made up."

"Yeah until I kick his ass next time." Byron throws a light punch, Aidan grunts as he takes a punch to the gut.

"Byron…can you give us a second?" Dylan steps into the room, placing his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"You're not gonna kill him are you?" Byron asks half serious.

"No…I may kill you though…get out of here." Byron laughs and leaves heading into his room.

"How you holding up?" Dylan grabs the desk chair, swinging it backwards and sitting in it. Aidan sits on the bed facing him.

"I'm ok…thanks for helping my mom."

"Your mom and I go way back. She tried to help me when I was going through rough times. I care about her a lot. We don't talk like we should but you know, you get older, I got married, she got married, have kids you kind of lose touch, especially since she is an old girlfriend." Dylan smiled. "I doubt Brenda would like it much if we chatted on the phone all the time. Plus I doubt your dad would have approved either." Dylan chuckled.

"I get it." Aidan nods. Now that Aidan knew the inside scoop with Brenda and his dad he got the awkwardness a little more.

"I'm sorry for the way I've treated you."

Aidan looks at him, surprised, "You are?"

"Yes…I was thinking about when I was young. I had started dating Brenda sophomore year and it was a twirl wind teen romance, I was so crazy about her." Dylan smiled then shook his head taking a breath. "I can't believe I'm going to tell you this but…my father in law, Brenda's dad, hated me. Despised me. Never approved of my relationship with his daughter, never thought I was good enough. We came close to blows a few times."

"Really?" Aidan smiled sitting up a little straighter. "Seriously? Grandpa Jim?" Aidan couldn't see it.

Dylan smiled, "Yes…good ole Jimbo. He drove me absolutely insane. We'd have our moments when things were good, but then I would do something, Bren would do something and we would start all over again." Dylan looked for the right words. "You ever hear that saying, when you push someone not to do something, they end up doing it more?"

"Yeah." Aidan listened intently, this may have been the longest conversation he had ever had with Dylan.

"That was not at all how my relationship with Brenda worked. It wasn't like the more he pushed us apart the more we came together. It was the opposite in the long run. I'm that guy that was proud of my pride, it was all I had back then. I know what happened with Audrey. Sometimes us guys do really stupid things. We don't think things through. Women are amazingly loving but complex. Men…we're just not, we don't think about how our decisions may effect life as a whole." Dylan closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, "Jim and I had a bad falling out after junior year. Brenda ran away from home and was living with me and things were bad. I was 17, I wasn't ready for a live in girlfriend or marriage. Jim actually threatened to charge me with statutory rape because I was providing shelter, as an emancipated minor to a 17 year old."

Aidan's eyes grew wide. Dylan continued, "He told me if I didn't get Brenda on a plane to Paris, he would charge me."

"Jesus…what did you do?"

"Well what I should have done is told him to shove it but I didn't, the truth was Brenda and I needed a much needed break. Things were moving faster than they ever were and we were already intense together.

"Why would he do that do his daughter though?" Aidan couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I became the guy Jim feared. I took her away because at the time, it was about pride, it was about my love for his daughter and it was about fighting to be with her. For Jim it was about his pride too, control and getting his family back."

"Did Brenda go to Paris?" Aidan was straight faced, this was better than a movie.

"She did and you know it was a relief actually."

"Wow." breathed Aidan.

"Yeah wow…we were apart 6 weeks, towards the end of the time apart, I cheated on her with her best friend simply because Brenda was there and I was here. Turns out we had a lot in common, and I liked her. At that time, I thought that was enough. Someone new, who was beautiful, sexy and fun. She didn't have a dad to judge me or a strict mom. It was easy. You told us in the kitchen the other night that you thought being with Audrey was easy. Easy because her father wasn't like me right?"

Aidan nodded. "Yes sir."

"That's why I went off with the other girl. I didn't have to try, after working so hard to be in Jim's good graces, I still failed, I still was on the outside of that family…even when I thought I wasn't. I could be myself. I didn't have to be someone I wasn't. Brenda came from this amazing family, with two loving parents, who cared if they got a bad grade or if they were out too late. There is only so many times someone can tell you…you're not good enough, you're not good enough until you start believing it. I truly believed that I wasn't good enough. I didn't want to deal with Jim or Brenda's uncertainty about the way he felt as well, Brenda loved her father. The problem though Aidan was I loved Brenda. One might be easier but it doesn't mean the feelings go away or the connection does. It actually makes them stronger sometimes."

"Mr. McKay…why are you telling me all this?"

"Because Aidan…I know how much you love my daughter and the truth is…it was getting serious and it was moving fast. That's the part I understand more than you know. I get it, I've been there." Dylan exhaled, "I don't want you to hurt her like I hurt her mom. It went on too long, and it went back and forth for years. It ruined a good friendship, it ruined more than I even will admit to you even as adults. I don't know if Eliot and you are meant to be together, only time will tell you that but I do know, you already are doing better than I was. I chose the easy way out, I chose the friend…not Brenda."

"Obviously you guys got back together, When did she forgive you? Eliot just wants to be friends."

"Actually…I think that's a smart idea. You'll earn her trust back and you may find out more about each other in the process. Brenda forgave me soon after but really it was more because my father died and she was my person. She was my family. I dated the friend the rest of senior year even off and on our first year in college, but Brenda was always there, in the back of my mind. My heart was always with her. I wished for a long time, I could have done that over again. If I knew what I know now, things would have been different. It hurts me inside that maybe the reason you hurt my daughter was because of me. And that's not something I want to live with. It made Bren resent her father for a long time and that's not something I want to live with either. Eliot may take you back and she may not, it's not really my business if she does. I just don't want to be Jim. I respect him now having kids of my own a hell of a lot more, but seeing this cycle repeat, was pretty eye opening. You see Aidan, the easy way out hurt the woman I loved. Yeah we're good now but it took a long time to get here. You also have to be prepared at the fact that even if Eliot does take you back, this Audrey thing might always haunt you both. I guess what I'm trying to say, if you really love her, be patient with her, don't let your pride get in the way in the long run, don't let it get in the way of what you really want."

Aidan sat quiet and thought about everything that he was just told. "I'll try to be better to you. I promise you that." Dylan added, he took a deep breath and smiled at the kid. He wasn't really half bad to be honest.

"Thanks sir…it's kind of nice to know you aren't so tough and mean." Aidan smiled.

Dylan laughed and got up. Returning the chair to the desk, "Oh I am though." he laughed, Aidan joined in.

Dylan face became serious. "I'm here if you need anything or to talk. I know what it's like to lose your dad, it sucks and it took me to some dark places. So with that being said. Make yourself at home, we have rules though, we expect you to albeit by them, curfew all that crap…no funny business or canoodling with my daughter…especially in my house." He smiled again.

"Thanks Mr. McKay." Aidan smiled, he was beginning to like him.

Dylan stopped at the doorway and gave him a tight smile back, "Call me Dylan son." Aidan nodded and watched Dylan leave.

All 5 of them sat down for dinner. For the first time Aidan didn't feel out of place at this table. Dylan smiled at him, interacted with him for once. Byron and himself had flowed back into their bromance. Eliot eyed him sweetly, acting shy and cute. Brenda being the loving mom she was, smiled and made sure he had plenty of food. Maybe these 3 weeks wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Hey dad, me and Emma's anniversary is coming up in a few weeks, what should I plan for her?" Byron took a bit of lasagna.

Dylan smiled, he looked at Brenda and she smirked looking down at her plate. Anything Byron had done for Emma, this past year had been Dylan's idea. "Ummm…I don't know, are you playing around with any ideas?"

Byron sighed, "No not really, I guess we could do dinner, a good gift, it's just that I do that all the time."

"What about a trip?" Dylan lifts a shoulder. "Ouch Bren." he says out loud after receiving a kick to the shin. "What was that for?"

"A trip Dylan…our teenage son isn't bringing his girlfriend on a trip."

"Not like a long trip, somewhere close."

"What about Baja? Or Palm springs?" Byron said liking that idea.

Dylan raised his eyebrows and looked at Brenda, he smiled, "Baja…huh?"

Brenda stared at him disapproving.

"Yeah…dad…I could teach Emma how to surf, we can make a weekend out of it." Byron smiled as he looked around the table.

"I took your mom to Baja when we were your age. It was a goooood trip." Dylan's tone had sexual undertone to it as he stared at his wife. He winked at her. Brenda blushed and shook her head with a smirk.

"Ew." Eliot noticed, the boys chuckled noticing too.

"Baja is fun but your forgetting one major problem By." Brenda set down her fork looking at her love struck son.

"What's that mom?"

"Donna and David will never let Emma go with you to a motel." Dylan chuckled and nodded.

"She's right son…no way in hell." Dylan added.

Byron sighed heavily, "You're probably right."

The table laughed then at a disappointed Byron, "Maybe she could ask…they might say yes?"

Dylan shook his head, "Don't even go there son…trust me." Brenda giggled as Dylan laughed too, the kids not getting it continued to eat.

Brenda and Dylan cleared the table, followed by the kids. Brenda smiled as she noticed Aidan rinsing his plate as Eliot bumped her hip to his. Dylan rolled his eyes.

"They're cute." Brenda whispered.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Dylan stood close watching the two touch and be playful.

"Oh come on Dylan…there are worse guys out there that Eliot could be involved with."

Dylan just looked at her, he sighed, maybe she was right. "I'm trying."

"I know you are." Brenda set down a plate and moved close to Dylan. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, "Maybe we can go to Baja, it's been over a year since we went down there."

Dylan groaned quietly, he leaned in and aggressively kissed her.

"Kids present." Eliot said with a smile.

Brenda and Dylan smiled against each others lips, they slowly backed away from each other. Brenda looked down shyly as she grabbed the last of the plates.

"We have homework to finish." She grabbed Aidan's hand and pulled him from the kitchen. Dylan sighed looking at them go.

"What have we gotten into?" He said quietly now being alone. "Worse guys? Bren are you sure?"

Brenda bumped her hip with Dylan, like Eliot had done before, "Oh for sure." she nodded knowingly.

Dylan walked over to the sink and leaned against it as she began rinsing the dishes to load the dishwasher. "They are going to get back together…you know this don't you?" Dylan looked at the side of her face.

"You're probably right." She said not looking at him. Brenda thought for a moment and turned the water off. She turned towards Dylan, resting her hip against the counter as well. "What's so wrong with that Dylan? Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love? They're sweet together."

Dylan breathed out a laugh, "I do remember that's why I hate it."

"Come on." Brenda grabbed his hand and pulled it.

Dylan moped thinking about his little girl not being a little girl anymore.

"I have a short silky blue robe that needs unwrapping."

Dylan's eyebrows shot up, he smiled. _Eliot's big mouth_. He rushed her, bending at her waist and flopping her over his shoulder. Brenda giggled hanging upside down as Dylan carried her up the stairs.

Eliot laid on her bed with her feet in the air writing in her notebook, as Aidan sat on the floor, book across his lap reading his history homework. The sound of giggling made them look up as they saw Dylan carrying Brenda over his shoulder towards their bedroom.

"I wonder what they were like when they were our age?" Aidan smiled and watched as their bedroom door closed.

Eliot shook her head and looked back down at her homework, "Unfortunately I'm learning slowly." referring to her father book.

Aidan turned his head sideways and looked at her. "What do you mean?"

Eliot glanced up, to find his eyes staring back at her, intense and loving. She got caught in them for a moment. She shook her head, "My dad wrote my mom a book. Well it's more of a journal, I found it in the study and they're letting me read it. It's about their love story."

"That's cool." Aidan continued to look into her eyes. He slowly leaned into her. Eliot moving closer too. Soon their noses touched, Aidan made the first move. He brushed his lips against hers gently pecking her softly. He took them to his again. Opening his around hers. They closed their eyes. Eliot deepened the kiss, her hand moving gently to Aidan's face. He slipped his tongue against hers gently reaching up his fingers gently through her long hair and cradling her head. A small moan left her lips as he deepened it again. Eliot kept her eyes closed and backed away. Her fingers came to her lips as she looked down, "I should finish my Spanish." she said softly.

Aidan licked his lips and nodded, "Yeah." He took a deep breath and collected his books, standing up. Eliot followed by sitting up as well. He looked down at her. "Good night El."

She looked at him, "Good night Aidan." he leaned down and kissed her forehead. Eliot watched him carry his books and head down the hallway to his room. She flopped back on her bed, reaching for the pillow and covering her face, she grunted frustrated. This break was going to be harder than she thought.

 _July 28, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _You will never guess where I am right now. I'm laying in my old cabana at the Beverly Hills beach club. I miss my dad. Not Jack McKay per say but the way it used to be. When we had this cabana. When him and my mom were still together. I loved it here. Playing in the sand, swimming with my dad. I can't believe he's in jail. It all kind of hit me. The memories…the rejection from my mother…my dad and the recent rejection of Jim Walsh. Early today I was resting on the Walsh's couch. Brandon was working, Mrs. Walsh was grocery shopping and Jim was still out of town. Brenda came home from summer school. As soon as I heard her, the thought that we were finally alone came forefront. I playfully made her get me things, sandwiches, an apple, a soda, a blanket…my book. I loved pissing her off. She asked me what else I needed. As I looked at her, frustrated her hand on her hip, I just told her the truth. Her…I wanted her. I had wanted her from the moment I saw her at the beach after our break up. She surprised me by laying on top of me. My rips ached as her chest hit mine but the feeling of her close to me over powered it. She apologized for hurting me but I just wrapped my arm around her waist and brought her closer to me, I didn't want her to stop. She told me the hardest thing she ever had to do was try and stay away from me. I understand that more than she knew. I missed Brenda before but seeing her everyday, living here made the ache to be near her ten fold. Her face was near mine, her smell over coming me. Feeling her body against mine again was too much. We kissed each other, not just a kiss but a passionate release of sexual tension that had been building for days. I gripped her back roughly, kissing her fiercely, her hair enclosed my face like I remembered and the sounds that left our lips was sexy and raw. She had been holding back too. "What the hell is going on?" I heard strongly and we broke apart as quick as he started. Her hand came to my chest as she used myself to get up. Pain ripped through me, my ribs had felt a little better but they weren't healed. Her father stood there, staring at us. Anger radiating out of his body. Brenda told him it wasn't what it looked like and I tried to tell him I could explain, what exactly I had no clue, it was exactly how it looked. He yelled, I had never heard Jim yell like that. He accused me of taking advantage of their hospitality and Brenda. Brenda tried to tell him it wasn't like that but he walked away. I looked at Brenda, tears filled her eyes and I knew she was upset. I couldn't move to comfort her fast enough and she ran up the stairs. I wasn't taking advantage of their hospitality, I wasn't, I was so thankful for all they had done for me. I would never take advantage of Brenda. I loved her. She wanted it as much as I did. I waited until everyone had gone up to bed before I went down to grab an apple. I didn't eat dinner with them, and by the sounds of Brenda in her room it didn't seem like she had either. As I made my way back up the stairs. Jim's yelling and arguing with Cindy could be heard clear as day. He didn't care if I heard him. He said he had a right to be angry, we were in his house and I was with his daughter. Bless Cindy's heart, she tried to ease Jim's anger by saying that we were only kissing, Jim said we were doing more than that and he had a point. If Jim hadn't walked in I'm sure we would have went farther. As I turned the corner, Brenda was in the hallway listening too. Our eyes met and guilt was evident in them. We listened as Jim tried to kick me out but Cindy said I needed a couple more days of bed rest. Jim agreed to let me stay but then I was out. Brenda looked at me, she apologized.I shrugged and shook my head, it wasn't her fault. I walked back into Brandon's room. Jim's words echoed in my head over and over. I wasn't going to stay where I wasn't wanted. As everyone went to sleep, I got dressed and sat at Brandon's desk to write Bren a letter. I told her I wasn't going to come between her and her father. I said it would be better for everyone if I left, that I knew where I wasn't wanted. I thanked her for being there for me and told her I loved her. I snuck into her room, and bent down next to her bed. I left the note on her bedside table where she would find it in the morning. She lay there sleeping like an angel. She looked so peaceful. My heart ached for her. I brought her comforter over her gently, tucking her in. I kissed my fingers and touched her forehead. I left shortly after taking a cab down to the beach where I knew my car was. I drove around all night. Thinking about my dad and Brenda, Jim Walsh. Which brings me here to this cabana. I knew I had to get some sleep. I couldn't go home, the house was seized, I couldn't get into it. I had been up the whole night before. I'm exhausted…so I broke into this old cabana. If I could get a few hours sleep, I could sneak out before the beach club opened. I'd worry about where I would go tomorrow. Jesus Christ I was homeless. I thought about something my dad told me when I was little. He told me he would always be there for me, he would never let me fall. He lied. I cried like a baby and now I'm writing in this journal. I'm suppose to be on a plane to Hawaii. The lawyer got in touch with me, she sent me a ticket and I'm suppose to spend the summer with her, while the mess with my house gets taken care of. My mother is the last person I want to see. Mother's are always suppose to be there for you, mine wasn't she left when I was 6 years old and was always too busy finding herself. Besides the late night wacked out phone calls every once in a while, I have nothing to do with her. She's a flake. In October, it will be three years since I've even seen Iris. I'm suppose to just walk in and say hey mom, remember me? I'm going to get some sleep. My eyes burn from crying and my ribs ache and so does my heart. My father didn't want me, either did my wacko mother, Brenda doesn't and the Walsh's don't either. I have no one._

 _Dylan_

 _July 29, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I'm back at the Walsh's. Brandon found me in the cabana this morning. I told him about stuff with my dad and he knew about the plane ticket from my mom. Jim talked to me too. He said I was welcome to stay there while I worked things out. He also said he was sorry for losing his temper the other day when he caught me and Brenda on the couch. He told me for a long time he'd been the only man in Brenda's life. It's hard for him to accept her growing up. I asked why he acts like I'm not good enough for her? He was honest and said no one would have been good enough for her. I get it. I can't imagine having a daughter. Walking in on a punk like me feeling her up. Ugh…give me boys. It's funny because they say girls look for guys that remind them of their father. Jim didn't like that but I bet we are more alike deep down than he wants to admit. I wonder what I_ _'_ _ll be like as a dad? Maybe someday…with Brenda. I can picture it. It makes me smile. I don't want a daughter though. Can you picture it? A pretty smart girl with Brenda's fire and our dashing good looks. HA Fuck she would probably be beautiful. All the guys would go crazy for her. With her mothers legs…ugh with boyfriends like me. Oh Fuck…forget it. No girls._

 _On a more serious note, I wrote my father a letter. I told him that he told me he'd always be here for me and he'd never let me fall. Even though all the crap we put each other through I always believed it. I don't believe that anymore. Talking to Jim made me realize that it doesn't matter, I still want a father, I still want him in my life and I hope he wants to have a son again. Brenda just peaked her head in as I'm writing this. She looked beautiful with her hair up and that sexy silky blue robe. UGH she drives me crazy. She told me good night and to sleep well. I smiled at her taking her in, god I loved that woman. Good night Bren, you're proving more and more that you are always here for me…you won't let me fall._

 _Dylan_

Eliot held the book against her chest. _Oh my god…my father is my grandfather reincarnated._ Who would have thought? All those fights about Aidan, all those arguments between her mother and father. _Holy shit_. Eliot looked towards her closed parents bedroom what was in view from her open bedroom door. She wanted to say something but even though it had been over an hour since her father carried her mother in there like a sack of potatoes she knew them well enough that that probably wasn't a good idea. She laughed a little, her father's nightmare came true…he got a girl…she also had a boyfriend like him. He was so screwed. Eliot thought about her father's upbringing, then he thought about Aidan. She would swallow her pride and be there for him. They could be Aidan's family too.

 _So there it is folks. Summer storm is done…Dylan is off to Hawaii soon in his journals and BD miss each other terribly. We saw how Brenda felt in the show, but we'll see Dylan's side now. Next up the BBQ FINALLY! I'm working on it. Bran and Kel interaction, the kids. Anyone surprised by Dylan's talk with Aidan? Thanks for the reviews. This story is coming like wild fire…ooh wild fire I can't wait to write about Brenda's jealousy and Emily Valentine. HAHAHA! Hit review my loves. I live for those email notifications. KISSES!_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 11**_

 _ **New and Easy**_

 _Brenda walked into the small living room she shared with Dylan. Clutching Dylan's journal to her chest. She knew she would find him in here, hearing him reading a story and putting down the twins for bed earlier. The twins had just turned one. Tears flowed down her cheeks. She watched him pick up a few toys off the floor, tossing them gently in a toy chest they had against the side wall. He glanced up seeing her._

" _Bren?" he stood up straight and stared at her._

 _She breathed out, "He…made you…send me to Paris? He blackmailed you?" She threw the book at him sobbing out now. He caught it easily and exhaled. "You didn't tell me."_

" _Brenda…I couldn't" he knew this would come._

" _You practically pushed me on the plane Dylan. That trip ruined everything…it ruined us." She cried._

" _It didn't ruin us…look at us. We're here…we're together finally. We have two amazing babies in there that came from you and me. Our love made them. This is our story baby…this was how it was suppose to go for us. Being together, raising our kids, who cares what your father did back then, none of it matters anymore."_

 _Brenda took a deep breath, his eyes imploring hers, intense and devoted."Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey."_

 _Brenda rushed him, Dylan lifted her slightly kissing her deeply, intensely, powerfully, she pulled away breathlessly. "Ok…let's get married. We don't even have to tell anyone, we'll get Iris to watch the twins, we'll go to court house. Let's just get it done." Brenda whispered against his lips as she kissed him again. Lord Byron got her every time._

 _Dylan smiled and shook his head, "No way…you promised you would finish the book and this is NOT how our proposal is going to be. I already messed it up the first time Brenda…" his hand held the back of her head. "Finish the book."_

" _I don't want to finish the book." he let her down as she paced away from him, "I don't want to read about that summer Dylan."_

" _Do you think I would make you read something in regards to that summer that would hurt you…hurt you more than I already have?"_

 _Brenda exhaled as she looked at him. She shook her head knowing he wouldn't. Not now…not after everything._

 _He moved towards her again, his arms encircled her waist tightly. He brought his forehead against hers gently. "We will get married Brenda…we're a family. But it won't be after you chuck a book at me." he chuckled, "Or at the court house, while we sneak away like fugitives. When I ask you next time, it will be romantic, like it always should have been. And the wedding, will be perfect and will have all our family and friends there. Witnessing what true love looks like. Witnessing what happens when two people that are meant to be, come together. Okay?"_

 _Brenda smiles up at him and nods. They kiss again, as Dylan gently carries her into their bedroom._

Brenda smiles and stretches, she moans a little and reaches for Dylan. That was a good dream…a good memory. She feels his space empty. Her eyes shoot open, shit! Did she sleep in? Her eyes dart at the clock. Relief washes over her, she still has time to get breakfast to the kids and lunches made. She sees a note then, on her bedside table. She smiles seeing the words READ ME. She reaches for it and opens it up.

 _I had fun last night. I love that you still have that robe. I couldn't wake you this morning. You looked like you were having a good dream, hopefully it was about me, mine are always of you. Went golfing with el padrino and Bran, they got a tee time early instead of this afternoon. Wish me luck. I love you so much. Later darlin._

 _Dylan_

Brenda sighed happily and got out of bed. She had three lunches to make instead of 2 and breakfast. She exhaled thinking what it would be like having more than two kids? She pushed the idea aside, they were too old now. Then a small part of her realized in a couple years, the twins would be out of the house, off to college. She shook her head. She wouldn't worry about her empty nest now. She went downstairs to continue taking care of her kids, she'd take advantage of it while it lasted.

Dylan squinted in the sun as Brandon tee'd off. "How are you doing son?" Jim stood beside him watching Brandon take his swing.

"I'm good." Dylan stood with his hands in his pockets as he watched Brandon too.

"The kids? Everything going well?" Dylan looked at him. Jim's eyes sparkled with knowledge. He knew all about what was happening.

"Brandon I swear to god." Dylan exhaled as Brandon walked towards them with his club. "Eliot was right, you are fired as a boy scout."

Brandon chuckled, "Yeah thanks a lot for that by the way."

"So Aidan…" Jim changed the subject, "He's staying with you?" there was humor behind his smile.

Dylan smirked and shook his head, "Dad…honestly, I probably owe you an apology, You told me when I had kids of my own I would understand. Well…I friggin understand."

Jim laughed out loud and grasped his hand on Dylan's shoulder. "I'm not one to say I told you so but…I told you so."

Dylan shook his head again, "I'm trying to trust my overly caring wife but…I don't like it. It feels wrong somehow. Alone in that house…down the hall from each other, I feel like were asking for trouble. When did this happen Jim, its like just yesterday she was 5, looking at me with those big light eyes. I'm pretty sure I might have a heart attack one of these days."

Jim smiled finding it hilariously ironic, "If she is anything like you and Brenda were...you might."

"Thanks." Dylan shook his head.

Brandon laughed, "It's funny how history has a way of repeating itself. Tell dad here how many times you snuck in my sister's bedroom when you stayed over."

Dylan's eyes grew wide, "You knew about that?" Jim cleared his throat.

"Yes...I knew about it dip shit, you weren't in the cot in my bedroom genius."

"Son...looks like you wont be getting much sleep these next three weeks, now you know how I felt...Wait...how many times did you sneak into Brenda's room?"

"Oh man...it's my turn." Dylan eyes grew not answering.

"Dad...too many ties to count." Brandon wrapped his arm around his fathers shoulder.

Dylan stared at him, "Oh you should talk, Alyssa is what 16…just wait my friend. She's as gorgeous as Kelly was, my niece…your daughter is a looker Brandon. I wouldn't be overly cocky." Dylan joked. "I've hear the comments of the boys about both our daughters. You'll be buried right next to me."

Brandon got visibly uncomfortable with the name Kelly. "Speaking of Kelly." Dylan heard Jim say as he stepped up to take his turn. "How is she doing?" Jim said towards Brandon.

Brandon shrugged, "I guess fine. We don't talk much. Nate drives them over when they come to stay with me, I barely see her."

"Brandon…what happened with Kelly? You guys were so in love? I mean what's so bad that 15 years of marriage is thrown down the tubes? Not counting the years you guys dated on and off? Have you considered counseling? I can see it in your eyes son, you love her still." Dylan swung as hard as he can. He wasn't very good at this. He turned to face the guys.

Brandon looked at Dylan and swallowed, "Sometimes things don't work out dad." He looked back at his father. "I'm seeing Katie…she's nice. She writes a small column in the LA weekly. She's smart and pretty. She is a single mom, what's more fitting than that?" As Brandon talked about his new girlfriend, Dylan noticed something missing. He was trying with Katie, but he knew his brother in law well enough to know that he hadn't fallen head over heels for her…not yet anyway.

"Well…when do we get to meet her? She sounds great?" Jim tried to act supportive.

"Actually I was going to see if you and Bren…wanted to maybe have a family dinner…sometime soon?" Brandon looked at Dylan. Dylan shrugged knowing Brenda would be more than willing to host a family dinner. He nodded and murmured an of course.

"And the kids? Have they met her?" Jim was serious now. You could tell he was worried about his grandkids.

"They have." Brandon said simply, "It's your turn dad."

"Brandon?" Jim took a deep breath.

"Dad…everything is fine…we're taking it slow. The kids know. They are fine." Brandon tried to reassure his father. "She only stays over when it's Kelly's week."

Jim nodded, "Okay…So back to Aidan?"

Dylan looked at the blue sky. He chucked, he liked it better when Brandon was on the spot.

Byron had drove the families SUV over to the Silver's. Brenda and Dylan named Byron the designated driver for the evening. Brenda and Dylan didn't drink much, but it was a get together after all and they took advantage of having a teenage driver. They walked up the driveway of Donna and David's home. Donna had a made a killing with her clothing line. She had travelled to New York, Paris, Milan…even Japan. David was Mr. Mom. He dabbled with his music in their home studio and managed a few amateur bands around LA but Donna was the bread winner. The home wasn't flashy but a nice size. It was six bedrooms, a master for Donna and David, one for Emma and one for the newer addition to their family, Ruby. Donna and David had gotten pregnant with Emma shortly after their wedding. It was faster than they would have liked. With Donna working on her career, they weren't sure if they would have another baby. Ruby came though and their family was soon complete. She was 7 years old, a splitting image of her dad. Emma, had her mothers tiny figure, a sweet face and gorgeous sandy blonde hair. She was a perfect combination of Donna and David's best features. The last two bedrooms, were David's music studio, and Donna's sewing/design room. Their house was a decent size but the best part about it was their backyard.

"Was Aidan going to meet us here?" Brenda asked as Dylan rang their doorbell. She held a pyrex dish of 7 layer dip, as Dylan held the chips.

"Yeah I guess, I didn't see him much today." Eliot shrugged, telling the truth. Donna opened the door with a smile.

"Hellllo." she sang, "Come in…come in. Perfect timing." she took the dip and bag of chips from Brenda and Dylan. "Go head out back, David is tending bar, everyone is here, except Brandon…is he coming?" She asked hopeful towards Brenda.

She nodded and smiled, "He said he wouldn't miss a visit from his favorite chief if his life depended on it." Referring to Andrea.

"Oh good." Smiled Donna.

The McKay's made their way out back. The gang was there. They said their hellos, the parents hanging on one side as the kids congregated on the other.

Brenda approached Kelly last. "Hey Kel." Brenda said nicely. They hadn't spoken since their disastrous lunch.

"Hey Bren…Dylan." Kelly acknowledged them with a polite nod and smile.

"How's it going Kel?" Dylan leaned in and hugged her.

Kelly sighed in his arms, "It's going." she whispered. She rubbed his back fondly and they broke apart.

Brenda took a deep breath, "Look Kelly…I'm sor."

"Brenda come on…don't worry about it. We've been through worse. You shouldn't apologize for being honest. We're friends…and our history means something to me…whether you want to acknowledge it or not."

"I know and that's why…I'm sorry." Dylan smirked, he liked seeing them interact again. His arm came limply over Brenda's shoulder.

Kelly smiled at both of them, "Apology accepted." Brenda smiled and leaned forward and hugged her old friend. Things would never be perfect between them. But Kelly was right they had history, some awful, some great…the past was part of their history and that's what it was history.

Kelly looked out over the yard, her smile faded, "Donna said she invited Brandon…is he coming?" she asked.

Brenda looked at Dylan and nodded, "He said he was." she answered truthfully.

Kelly looked down sadly and nodded. "Kel…" Brenda exhaled seeing the sadness in her eyes.

"You two get a drink…you have some catching up to do, David makes a mean margarita." Kelly joked, "I broke the seal…gonna head to the little girls room." She smiled a sad smile at them and headed inside.

Brenda and Dylan looked at each other. His arm came around her again as he kissed her temple. "She'll be okay…come on let's get that drink."

Brenda looked into his eyes and nodded. Dylan led her to David and the bar.

Kelly washed her hands after using the restroom, as she dried her hands she looked at herself in the mirror. She saw the sadness there. The slight age around her eyes. She shook her head, she was here to have a good time. The last thing she wanted was for her kids to see her upset. Kelly tried hard to act like she was the strong woman she yearned to be. So far she thought she was doing a pretty good job. She exited the bathroom and stopped in her tracks. She saw Brandon hugging Donna hello, and Donna reach out to shake the hand of new face. A pretty blonde, with Brandon's arm around her waist. She walked into view as all three of them locked eyes with her.

"Hey Brandon." Kelly said nicely.

"Hey Kel." he took a deep breath and turned to the side a little, "Kelly…this is my girlfriend…Katie. Katie this is Kelly. Nate and Alyssa's mom." Katie's eyes widened for a moment, she knew who she was, too bad Kelly hadn't known more than gossip. Katie recovered quickly and held out her hand.

She smiled a warm smile at her, "Kelly…it's so nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you. You and Brandon have two amazing kids."

Kelly breathed out her nose, her nostrils flaring in the process, "Thank you. Nice to meet you too." Kelly tried to rein in her anger and jealousy.

Donna swallowed hard and looked between them. She gave a sympathetic smile to Kelly and looked to Katie. "Come on Katie, I'll introduce you to the gang. You have to try one of David's famous Margaritas." She put on a smile and tried to hide the awkwardness.

"Thanks Donna." Katie exhaled and smiled, she followed Donna out the back door.

Kelly stared at Brandon, "Are you serious? Bringing your girlfriend to our friends Barbecue. Our kids are here." she seethed.

Brandon turned to face her, his eyes hard, "Oh spare me Kelly, I asked David, he said it was fine. We've been separated for a year…you knew I started dating someone, the kids have met her. This is not a big deal."

Kelly's hand came to her hip, "Does she know we're still married?"

Brandon shook his head, a smirk on his lips, "She does…she is separated too. I told her all about us. You know Kelly that's what people in relationships do. They are honest with each other." Brandon tone harsh.

Kelly crossed her arms, she breaths out, her mouth opens, her tongue hitting the inside of her cheek. A low blow. She looks down, tears filling her eyes. She doesn't say anything, but when she looks up and into Brandon's eyes. His expression softens as he sees her tears. He steps towards her, now guilty. "I'm sorry Kelly…I didn't mean…I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought it was a good time for Katie to meet my friends. Brenda and Dylan. I guess I didn't think you'd care this much." he said honestly.

Kelly tilted her head to the side. "Of course I care Brandon. I love you, you think I want to see you with someone else?" she said honestly back.

Brandon sighed and closed his eyes. "Kelly." he breathed, he didn't want to hear this.

"What happened to us Brandon?" Kelly pleaded.

Brandon opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted. "Dad…you made it? I saw Katie…I figured you were here somewhere" Nate swallowed hard and looked between his parents, knowing he had interrupted them. Kelly smiled at him.

"Yeah…I made it." Brandon exhaled and walked towards his son, he grasps his hand on Nate's shoulder in a fatherly fashion. They look at each other, a mutual love, respect and understanding between them. Brandon continues on to join the party. Nate watches him go. He turns to his mother, he smiles at her lovingly.

"You okay mom?" he walks towards her. He is taller than Kelly and he embraces her.

She closes her eyes and tries to pretend she's fine. "I'm fine sweetie, thanks for asking." She takes a deep breath, smirking at him. She knows her son is a sweetheart and not stupid. She wraps her arm around her sons waist, "Come on Nate, I think you're old enough to know when an adult needs a freaking drink." Nate laughs and kisses her temple sweetly. He nods and leads his mother back to the party.

"Come on Eliot, one date?" Stevie smiles. "Aidan will get over it. If he doesn't, there is no harm in teaching him a lesson." he smiles sweetly.

Eliot laughs, taking a sip of her coke. She is well aware, its an 80 degree day, she is sporting cut off jean shorts, flip flops and a crop top showing her toned stomach. Her bathing suit string shows around her neck and Stevie's eyes have travelled down her frame, too may times to count.

"I said we'll see Stevie…geez…ever heard of playing hard to get?" she flirted back. When she had dated Aidan, Stevie's comments, actually all boys comments had usually went in one ear out the other, but she had to admit his attention was exciting. She loved Aidan still but she was serious about just being friends right now. Stevie even though very open about wanting her, didn't creep her out, instead she felt confident, sexy even.

He raised his eyebrows at her playfully and she laughed and shook her head, She glanced to the back door and Aidan and Audrey walked through. Her smile faded. Aidan's eyes met hers, he swallowed hard and made his way over to them. Audrey started chatting with Emma and Alyssa and stayed away.

Eliot grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the listening ears of Stevie, she turned angry, "What…the…fuck?" she said, her teeth clenched.

"It's not what it looks like, I ran into Audrey at the pit, she said she was invited and she felt weird coming alone. She was crying. I felt bad, I told her I would give her a ride, that's all it is Eliot."

"You have a lot of nerve."

Aidan moved a step towards her, "Come on Eliot, she's a person too. You know I'm not an asshole. She was in tears, what was I suppose to do?"

"Tell her to fuck off, like you should have done over winter break."

"Eliot you're not being reasonable…she is part of our group, whether you like it or not. This is Emma's house and she was invited. I was just trying to be a nice guy. You know there isn't anything between us, I love you…you know that." Aidan pleaded. He knew her well enough she would react this way. He still didn't like upsetting her. He really had only offered to give her a ride because she was sitting alone bawling at the pit.

"You know what…that's fine…you're right…were just friends. You can bring anyone you want to this barbecue. Oh look…I love this song." she smiled a smart ass smile at him and moved past him. She went up to Stevie and grabbed his shirt, dragging him over to an open spot. She smiled at him and started dancing with him. Stevie looked towards Aidan, he smiled and shrugged and enjoyed Eliot's close dancing.

Rihanna's voice blasted through the backyard, "I don't know if you could take it. Know you wanna see me nakey, nakey, naked…wild wild thoughts."

Brenda smiled as she looked at Eliot. Bumping and grinding with Stevie. She sat comfortable on Dylan's lap and nudged him, "Looks like Eliot is having a good time." Dylan rolled his eyes and looked away, shaking his head. Some of the other teens joined them on the make shift dance floor. Emma…being in dance her whole life, started tearing up the dance floor, moving her hips. Byron game up behind her, he held her back side close to the front of his body and moved sensually with her. Alyssa grabbing Ruby's hands, spinning her onto the dance floor. Pretty soon all the kids were dancing to Wild Wild thoughts seductively. Except Aidan as he watched Eliot bump and grind against Stevie. Audrey watched too, from the opposite side. A saddened look of not belonging on her face.

"Ah to be young again." Donna said dreamy as all eyes of the adults were on the kids now.

"Seriously." David laughed, "Hey Bren…remember when we won that dance contest in college?"

Brenda laughed out loud and leaned towards David, she stuck her hand up as David high fived her, "Hell yes…we were amazing." she smiled.

"Damn man, look at Eliot and Stevie dry humping on the dance floor." Steve said out loud. "Dylan…Brenda…can you imagine if those two got together? They could rule the world. We'd be family, they'd be Beverly Hills royalty." Steve smiled bringing his cocktail to his lips.

Dylan looked over at his daughter, she circled her hips, pushing her butt into Stevie's crotch, "Jesus." Dylan said with a shake of his head. "That girl will be the death of me."

"They'd rule the world…I'm telling you." Steve wiggled his eyebrows as Brenda laughed.

Dylan did not. "Bite your tongue Steve, our group is incestuous enough."

Kelly, Brenda and Donna laughed. Kelly looked at Brandon, he didn't make eyes at her, instead he leaned in and kissed Katie on the cheek. She rolled her eyes and downed her margarita. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Brenda and Donna.

"Maybe we should show these kids how its done?" Brenda changed the subject. She looked at Dylan with a smile, "I mean…freaking was invented in the 90's. And us my good friends…are 90's kids at its finest."

"To this shit?" Dylan smiled listening to Rihanna. "I have never heard this song before in my life."

Brenda started dancing in his lap, she mouthed the words and smiled, "You would know this." Dylan added smiling. He enjoyed the movement of Brenda's ass in his lap, moving to the beat against his crotch.

"Don't act so old Dylan." David smiled. "We have teenagers, even if we didn't listen to this kind of music. It's always blasting in my house. I happen to like Rihanna."

"Shit…she's sexy." Steve said, Janet flung her hand into Steve's chest. "What?" he looks at her.

"Come on…baby…dance with me." Brenda begs.

"I'm not dancing to this crap Bren." Dylan shakes his head with a smile.

David grabs his phone and scrolls, "Hmmm." he looks down at his phone. "Remember this song?"

Boyz II Men begins to play, On Bended knee. "We belong together…."

The girls swoon, "Oh I love this song." Donna melts. "Play some Color me bad after this."

Dylan smiles, "Remember the CU carnival Bren freshman year…we danced all night long. They played this song. You wanted me so bad." Dylan joked.

"Pssh palease…you so wanted into my pants that night Dylan…it was so obvious, you were all flirty and sexy like…singing to me...come back to me." Brenda sang and rolled her eyes. "You my husband…wanted me more."

Dylan chuckled, he turns serious and looks at her, "When I open up my eyes…to face reality…every moment without you…it seems like eternity. I'm begging you begging you come back to meeeeee." Dylan howled. "You're right I wanted into your pants." he laughed and Brenda kissed him. "I got into them the next day." he murmured against her lips.

The group laughed. Kelly watched them, thinking about when that time happened in her life. Dylan and herself had just broken up, she took a sip of her Margarita that she had refilled and watched Brenda and Dylan's interaction. She wasn't really surprised to hear they were getting closer while she was sexing up Brandon.

Brandon smiled, "I missed that carnival…I was in Washington." Kelly's eyes turned away from Brenda and Dylan, and met Brandon's, she had just been thinking the same thing.

"You need a drink Brandon?" Katie got up and broke the stare.

"Nah…I'm good." She smiled at him and walked away towards the bar.

"Come on casanova." Brenda got up and grabbed both Dylan's hands, "Come beg me to come back to you all over again." She joked. Dylan laughed and got up following her on the dance floor. Brenda wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. As Dylan enclosed his arms tightly around her waist. They smiled, foreheads pressed against each other as they swayed back and forth.

"Well at least someone has a good memory of that carnival." Donna playfully looked at David with a huff, referring to Ariel.

He laughed, "Oh come on…my beautiful wife. We danced to this song too, that was a fun night actually." He smiled and raised his eyebrows. It was a good night...Ariel the crab infested whore was the following night.

Donna blushed and followed David on the dance floor. Steve and Janet followed, he spun her around next to Eliot and Stevie who now were slow dancing.

Brandon leaned his elbows onto his knees, moving in closer to Kelly, "You know what happened to us Kel?" Her attention brought off of the couples dancing and to his eyes. "The fact that when that carnival was brought up, you thought about Brenda and Dylan being together there…since you and Dylan had just broken up. Not the the fact we got together that week in Washington." he looked at her hurt as he got up, and went towards Katie.

Kelly's lip quivered realizing he saw right through her but it wasn't like that. Yes she thought about it but she wasn't mad about it. Kelly remembered her time in Washington fondly, she was thinking about it too.

"It will be okay Kelly." her face turned towards Andrea, who had pretended she wasn't paying attention when Brandon spoke seconds before. She shrugged sadly at Andrea, who got up and moved into the seat next to hers. "Break ups are a bitch." Andrea brought her glass to her lips. "It's not serious Kel…Brandon and Katie. I wouldn't let them ruin your time that much. It's new but he told me, it's not serious." The girls watched as Brandon, who never danced twirled Katie onto the dance floor joining the others.

"She's pretty." Kelly stared at them, "But she looks 12. How am I suppose compete with that? She's like a size freaking 2."

Andrea shook her head. "She's 42, she told me when I was chatting with her about the paper she works for. She is a year younger than us."

Kelly crossed her arms and huffed.

"Kelly…come on…she's okay…she isn't you." Kelly looked over at Andrea. She quickly wiped her eyes hoping no one noticed. The Margaritas were making her too openly emotional.

Nate watched his mom. "I love my dad…but I hate seeing my mother like this." Nate said to Aidan, who sadly watched the groups dancing. His eyes still fixed on Eliot and Stevie.

Aidan looked at Nate, "Do you like your dads new girlfriend?" he asked being a good friend.

Nate shrugged, "She's alright. I've only met her a couple times. I assume she spends most of her time with my dad when were at my moms." Nate exhaled, he watched his mom chat with Andrea, as she nonchalantly comforted her.

Aidan's eyes went to them.

"I'm going to dance with my mom. I honestly can't stand to see her alone and hurting." Nate said honestly.

Aidan smiled at him, he nodded, "I got Zuckerman." Nate smiled and the two made their way over to the adults.

"If she is anything like Hannah…have fun." Nate smirked at Aidan joking.

Aidan laughed, "You lucky son of a bitch. Always the older women…what the hell?" he pushed him, like guys do as Nate laughed.

He held out his hand to Kelly, "Come on mom." Kelly looked up at her son. He smiled an adorable smile at her. Kelly looked as Andrea blushed as Aidan reached his hand out to her. Kelly chuckled and took his hand, letting her son lead her to the dance floor. She took his right hand in hers and wrapped the other one around his shoulder.

"You are a good kid Nate." Kelly smiled lovingly at her son.

"You don't have to pretend to be strong for me…or Alyssa. We love you. We know this is hard. It's hard for us too." Nate glanced over at his father, who was dancing with Katie. "They don't spend that much time together, I don't know what happened with you guys, but he still loves you mom. And you love him too."

Kelly's eyes filled with tears. She nods and swallows hard. "I do." she takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Me and your father, we go back a long way. There is a lot things we haven't talked about. But…no one is filing for divorce yet. Leave the adult stuff to us. These days are the funnest time in your life. Enjoy them because one day you'll look back and they'll be gone." Nate smiled at her. He leaned in and hugged his mother. "I love you." she whispered as she closed her eyes, squeezing him tightly.

"I love you mom." He felt his mom rub his back softly.

Another 90's song had played from David's playlist. A fast one, the group danced together. Having fun, switching partners. Kids and adults mixing it up together. This was family at its finest. Brandon and Kelly drama aside, it turned out to be a good get together. Filled with tears but also laughter, drinks and lots and lots of 90's music.

The guys congregated by the bar. They watched the girls, who seemed to be enjoying the music, Margarita tipsiness and each other.

"It's good to see Andrea…she looks good." Brandon watches his best friend. They constantly kept in contact but since Andrea was in Boston, they didn't see each other like they should.

"Yeah…the whole gang is together. Katie seems to be fitting in well." Steve remarked, their focus coming to the newbie, which all the girls were welcoming, except Kelly, she ignored her.

"How's Kelly doing with all of this?" Dylan took a sip of his drink. Someone had to bring it up. David and Steve looked at Brandon, they were thinking the same thing.

"Oh you know Kel…she resents anything that takes the attention away from her."

Dylan chuckled remembering saying something similar to her when they had dated, David and Steve looked at each other with smirks, they knew that side of her too.

"Well Bran…you know I love Kelly, and I love you two together but Katie…she's…" Steve admired her, "She's freaking hot."

The guys took sip of their drinks, trying to hide the obvious. Brandon smiled and turned away facing the guys, He raised his eyebrows, "She teaches yoga." he wiggles them naughty.

"I thought she wrote for the LA weekly?" Dylan asked looking at her again.

"She does, she's a dancer, she says yoga helps her relax and stay flexible." The guys look at him. Their mouths gaping a little.

"Holy fuck Brandon. You lucky son of a bitch!" Steve wailed. Steve reached for the Jameson Whiskey bottle. He began pouring four shots, "To Brandon. Living the dream."

The guys laughed as they all picked up their shot glasses. They clicked their glasses together and shot back the liquid. All the guys not being big drinkers made a face.

Recovering, "Like when you say flexible? How flexible are we talking?" Dylan leaned in with a smirk.

Brandon looked at him, his eyebrows lifted with the guiltiest grin on his face, he shook his head, "You my brother…have no friggin idea, I've never seen anything like it."

"Oooohhhhhhh." David and Steve gave a high five. They all laughed loudly carrying on.

Eliot tilted her head, "What do you think those guys are talking about?" she smiled seeing her father and uncle goof around.

"Women probably." Alyssa smiled at her cousin.

"You think?" smiled back. They looked at their fathers again, laughing loudly and high fiving like kids. They looked at each other and laughed, it was probably true.

Stevie appeared in front of both girls, "Ladies…" he looked in back of him to make sure no one was looking. He lifted his t-shirt up a little, revealing a flask in the waist band of his swim suit, "Wanna liven up this party a little?"

Alyssa looked past Stevie, her dad was busy with the guys, her mom was dancing with Andrea looking like she was finally letting lose a little. "I don't think so Stevie." she shook her head, her eyes meeting his. Alyssa was only a sophomore. She hadn't taken a drink since she threw up last year when Nate had agreed to bring her to a party once.

Eliot noticed Aidan in the distance talking to Emma and Audrey. They had pretty much been avoiding each other at the party. She knew he was pissed about the dancing with Stevie but Eliot was pretty pissed off herself about him bringing Audrey. She knew Aidan was a nice guy, she knew why he did it, it didn't make her any less pissed. "El? You in?"

She looked at her parents again, they looked busy engaging and having a good time, she then looked at Aidan. His eyes met hers, yep he was pissed. She shook her head with a smirk.

"Alright Stevie…but not here." she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the pool house.

Aidan watched them curiously, he got up, _where are they going,_ he wondered.

"You know Aidan…you used to be cool…be cool." Audrey said noticing.

He gave her a dirty look but then sighed. She was right, the first rule of this game was be cool, act like you don't care. He sat down but his eyes not leaving the the direction Eliot and Stevie went in.

"Do you guys think…Eliot would hook up with Stevie?" Aidan looked at Audrey…then Emma.

"I highly doubt it." Emma shook her head.

Audrey shrugged, "Probably not…but she should…the boy knows what he's doing." Emma laughed playfully hitting her on the shoulder.

"You mean you and Stevie?" Aidan did not know this, how did he not know this? Stevie of all people hadn't said anything, he always talked about his conquests, well at least to his friends.

Audrey shrugged again, "I know…a moment of weakness, I lost my virginity to him the summer before Sophomore year. We've hooked up 3 times since."

Aidan's mouth dropped, "Seriously? Huh…I didn't know."

"Nobody knew…well…except Emma." she stuck her thumb out pointing to the blonde next to her, "And Eliot." she finished. She shrugged, "They know all about those hands, if Eliot was actually talking to me right now, I'd tell her to go for it." Audrey giggled.

Aidan made a face, "Excuse me." he got up with huff and moved towards the dads at the bar joining Nate and Byron.

Emma giggled, "You are such a bitch." she laughed.

Audrey smiled, "I know…just because Eliot hates me, doesn't mean I can't help her a little in this making Aidan jealous game." Emma threw back her head with a laugh in amusement.

Eliot threw back her head, taking a big shot off the flask. She made a face and shook her head.

"Easy Eliot…it's to have a little fun not let our parents know about it." he took it from her.

She looked at him. "You know what, thank you." she slurred a little.

"For what pretty girl." Stevie smiled, he liked drunk Eliot.

"For making me have fun." she sighed heavily. "I never noticed before but your cute and even your perviness is semi sexy."

Stevie laughed out loud. "Well…thanks…I guess?" he chuckled again.

"No I meeeean it." she drawled out. "You're fun Stevie…everything with Aidan is so serious. It's so easy with you. Let's go out on that date." she smiled.

Stevie stepped closer to her, "Really?"

She slowly nodded looking at him, "Yeah…tomorrow night?"

"Okay." Stevie said simply, his smile widened.

Eliot lifted her short t-shirt over her head, revealing her while triangle topped bikini underneath. Stevie looked down her chest and inhaled, whistled his breath out shaking his head from side to side. His eyes met hers.

"Let's go swimming." she whispered, taking her her hands to the button on her cutoffs. She pushed them down, revealing her string white matching bottoms.

"Eliot." Stevie whispered. She was exquisite. He stepped towards her again.

She smiled at him standing before him. She took a slow step towards him, another closing the distance. Stevie looked down at her, his heart racing. Their faces were close.

"You want to kiss me right now don't you?" her hot breath in his face.

Steve smiled, he leaned in and pecked her softly. "You my darlin…are wasted." he chucked backing away from her.

Eliot's mouth dropped, "Are you laughing at me?" she huffed cutely, Stevie laughed more.

She stomped her foot, semi embarrassed and turned to storm away from him. Stevie grabbed her hand and pulled her back so her bikini clad body was flush against his.

"Eliot…you are one of the sexiest girls at school. I would like nothing more than to kiss you…but you're drunk…and when we make out…which we will." his eyebrows raised, "You aren't going to be inebriated." She smiled and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, she hugged him long and tight.

Stevie smiled as his hand ran down her head gently. They slowly moved apart. She began to walk away from him as he lifted his t-shirt off, wrapping his flask in it and tossing it to the floor. Eliot opened the pool house door and smiled at him again, "Who would have thought? Stevie is a sweet guy."

Stevie laughed again, "You know what else?" he walked towards her, now just in his bathing suit.

Eliot stood in the open doorway, her hand coming to her sexy hip. "What?"

He stood before her, "I'm picking you up at 8 tomorrow night…and there is only one way for you to sober up a little so your father doesn't kick my ass. Pool time." He bends quickly and tosses Eliot over his shoulder. She shrieks loudly and laughs out loud. He slaps her on the butt gently and takes a running start, now in view of the rest of the party.

"Woooo." he yells out as he jumps into the deep end with Eliot in tow. They come up for breath with smiles on their faces. Eliot splashes him. Byron picks Emma up bridal style, with a giggle from Emma, they jump in the pool too.

"McKay." Steve looks at him with a smile, "Rule the world." he nods happily.

Dylan laughs feeling no pain and shakes his head. His hands rub down his face, m _aybe there is worse guys Eliot could date than Aidan?_ Dylan loved Stevie, he's known the kid since birth, but he was Steve's son. He groaned loudly as Brandon patted his back with a laugh.

The guys looked at the kids, who were playing around in the pool. They watched Stevie and Byron quietly discuss something and then they were under water. Soon Emma and Eliot were on Stevie and Byron's shoulders.

"Chicken fight!." Byron calls out as the girls soon try to push each other in.

Dylan looks over at a somber Aidan, watching sadly. He takes a deep breath and looks towards the teenagers playing again. He moves towards him, his hands in his pockets.

"You ok son?" Dylan stands next to Aidan.

Aidan looks over at Eliot, she is smiling and looks happy. Carefree. He shrugs, "Not really." he breaths out.

"Aidan." he shakes his head, "Let me tell you a little something about women." Aidan looks at him, interested. "Is what Eliot doing with Stevie making you angry?"

He looked towards them again, then back at Dylan, "Very much so. I'll be honest with you, even though you're her dad, so thats your warning. It makes me want to act like a jealous caveman and drag her half naked body inside so no one can see her in that freaking bikini and…kick the shit out Sanders." his lips form a hard line, Dylan's eyebrows raise in surprise at his honesty. "I warned you…I can't stand the thought of anyone with her."

Dylan smiles and shakes his head, "That is exactly…why she is doing it"

"Huh?" Aidan looks at Dylan confused.

"She wants to make you mad…she wants a reaction. I love my daughter, but she is absolutely a female and they are good at this, and it works every...freaking time."

"Seriously?" Aidan looks again at Eliot. She pulls herself out of the pool, gathering her long wet hair to the side ringing it out. She looks at him, stands up a little straighter, and looks away.

"You mean…Eliot doesn't like Stevie?" Aidan's eyes widen, hopeful.

"Oh…I have no idea." Dylan shrugs.

"Thanks a lot." Aidan groans out.

Dylan chuckles. They watch Eliot talking to Stevie, she tries to push him in the pool but instead he grabs her hands and pulls her in with him.

"That's it." Aidan moves, but the back of Dylan's hand shoots out to his chest.

"Be cool." he said calmly.

"Why is everyone saying that? I am cool…damn it." Dylan laughs.

Aidan thinks, "Well maybe I can play games too." He looks towards Audrey who is taking off her sundress that she has over her bathing suit.

Dylan shakes his head, "No…not the same…trust me. Don't go there."

"Fine." he huffs knowing Eliot would not just be jealous…she'd be more than pissed. He takes his t-shirt over his head, and moves towards the pool. "Cool got it." he murmurs.

"Yes…be cool." Dylan nods once. Aidan takes a deep breath and runs towards the pool.

"Cannon ball!" He jumps in the water, causing a big splash. Dylan shakes his head and turns a little seeing Brandon.

Brandon moves in next to him. "Are you honestly helping Aidan…with Eliot." Brandon laughs, "Oh man…you're turning soft in your old age." he jokes.

Dylan looks at Brandon with a smile, "Would you rather Alyssa date…Aidan…or Stevie?" He smirks at his brother in law.

Brandon teeth clench as he flinches. "Oh god."

He looks at him. They chuckle, "Aidan." they say at the same time.

"Definitely Aidan." Brandon finishes as they shake their head.

"Yeah." breaths Dylan…"Definitely."

"Hello? Anybody home?" A woman's voice is heard from the house. Everybody looks to the slider as she comes into view.

"Who…is that?" Aidan's mouth drops. His eyes run down the mature woman's body. She is wearing a halter top, tight. She has cleavage exposed, and tight cropped jeans, she is wearing heels as she steps down into the back yard. Her long brown hair bouncing slowly from side to side, along with her naturally huge boobs. It's like she is in slow motion.

"Oh…my…gawwwwwd." Stevie breaths. "Fucking milf." he whispers.

Nate stares, "That's no milf. No kids."

Byron smiles, admiring the view also, he is male for gods sake. "Aunt Valerie." he breaths out.

Nate bites his fist, "I have had the biggest crush on her since I was old enough to know what a crush was...Oh my god."Nate breathes out.

"Me too." Byron breaths.

"Me freaking three now." Stevie shakes his head. "How come I don't remember her?"

"Seriously guys, who is she?" They stare. "How could I have never met this smokin hot aunt?" Aidan mouth falls open again.

Eliot and Emma stare at the boys shocked. They cross their arms, then both look down at there normal size breasts, "Do you think my dad would let me get a boob job?" Emma is serious.

Eliot laughs, "About as much as mine would. Come on." She pulls her over to say hello. "Like they'd have a chance. Guys...you're drooling." she says to them as Emma and her pass by them.

"Excuse me…I think sexy auntie Val...needs a hug, you know I love me some older women." Nate sticks his tongue out with a smile.

"Wait…is she really your aunt cause that's gross dude?" Aidan is confused and still staring.

Byron laughs, "No were not related…Valerie Malone grew up with my mom and uncle Brandon. Come on I'll introduce you."

Aidan pulls Byron back, "Wait…what do I say to her?"

"Dude…Aidan…be cool." Byron shakes his head and walks toward Valerie.

Aidan sighs and rolls his eyes, "I guess the growing consensus of the day is I'm not cool." he murmurs and follows behind Byron.

 _Sooooo…golfing and the BBQ…I love me some Stevie…and Eliot and him are going on a date. Don't worry, Eliot isn't going to get in trouble for drinking. I'm not planning on making that a thing…she's 17…she's a teenager, she's being normal. No journal entries but there will be some next chapter. What about the rest? Brandon and Kelly drama? Val? Tell me everything! I like me some long reviews hint hint._


	13. Chapter 13

_Here's the next chapter, it's not a long one but finally an update. To one of my guest readers, thank you for your review. To explain, he/she was grossed out at the dancing scene the kids had in front of their parents. It was suppose to be more innocent than it read I guess and I'm sorry it grossed you out. I just remembered Scott Scanlan's party when the gang was dancing, Donna and Steve were freaking. Brenda danced with David in front of Donna at the freshman BBQ, there wasn't anything sexual about it. I also remember David telling Donna, he promised Scott's cousin he would teach her how to freak, thats weird considering she was probably younger. Scott's parents were strict and they did that there? Maybe not the same but my reasoning came from a teen dance I chaperoned a couple years ago. It was a teenage dance but my daughter was there. I could NOT believe what I saw. I'm a 90's kid, we used to grind each other and so forth but these kids were beyond anything like that. I think I was just trying to show how different kids are these days and they are late teens. Maybe it was still weird but I wanted to express my reasoning. Also David changes the song to 90's boys II men so it was short lived. Anyway here is the next chapter, sorry I grossed you out. LOL_

 _ **Chapter 12**_

 _ **Girls Just Want to Have Fun**_

 _August 1, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I never considered myself a Beverly Hills prince. No offense to guys like Steve Sanders or even girls like Kelly Taylor or Donna Martin. Even though I came from money, I didn't think it defined who I was, actually I didn't care much about it. Now it's bothering me that I'm thinking differently. I have absolutely nothing. I feel like a charity case, just the other day Donna and Brenda were going to a movie. They invited me, which by the way Brenda didn't look thrilled about but I declined. Why would I go to the movies? I couldn't even pay for a ticket. Cindy the nicest woman on the planet asked me if I needed pocket money. Which brings me to Jim, he must have told her, I'm embarrassed. Jim Walsh wants me to get on a plane to Hawaii. He thinks I should try to make peace with Iris. All my life my mother threw money at me and called it love. I never asked for love, but to ask for money? I'd rather die. I think part of him wants me to go to Hawaii so Bren and me aren't sharing a bathroom anymore. Sadly I went to sell some of my things. I went to a pawn shop downtown, sold a camera, CD's, a silver picture frame, an electric guitar, which was my favorite, I learned how to play on it, also a gold watch my grandfather had given me. It bummed me out that I had to do this. Its like everyday I go to my families storage unit and pick up more pieces of my life to sell away. The woman gave me $275, the guitar alone was worth $350. Whatever I need the money. Survival of the fittest. Maybe Steve, Kelly and Donna would go crazy broke like me but I was a survivor. I'd been alone for too long not to be. Didn't make this any easier._

 _Brenda and I barely speak now days. I did notice she got a lot of sun today. She was fried actually. I tried to compliment her but she hit me in the stomach, like a brother. Fuck my life! Maybe this isn't the best choice but Brandon mentioned some of the gang having a secret poker game at the beach club. Maybe I can double my money? I told him I'd pass but…hmmmm._

 _Dylan_

 _August 2, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Yeah gambling was a bad choice. I'm so pissed at myself. I lost whatever money I had, plus now I owe Steve $50. I was sure I had a good hand. FUCK. David Silver won $400, lucky ass kid. Looks like I'm selling more shit. Surviving is all I seem to be doing at the moment, and not well. I'm surviving without Brenda…without my Father…without anybody, even Brandon is getting on my nerves, and I am to him as well. Probably because were living together. I see him at home, at the beach, sharing a room, at least Brenda keeps her distance from me, not that I like that part. I can't believe I'm thinking about this but maybe I should go see my mother? Maybe some time away would help? It sounds awful though. I'm not the kind of guy to run to his mother. It might come down to that though. Jim says if I leave this stuff it might go to the courts and he said that would be a nightmare. I'm never betting again. Gambling sucks balls!_

 _Dylan_

 _August 3, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Brandon is an asshole. I can't believe him. Some stereo equipment was stolen from the club the night of the poker game. Brandon practically accused me. When did I do anything ever to make him think I'm a thief? He's his fucking father reincarnated. I'M NOT MY FATHER! At least Brenda has my back. I used to hold Brenda and Brandon in the same category as being the only family I have. Now I know…it's Brenda. She believes in me. We aren't even together and she knows I would never do such a thing. They did indeed catch who stole the stereo equipment. Brandon felt like a shit and he should. We made up for the most part but it still stung. He is like his father, maybe I like that about him more then I meant earlier. I know Jim hates my guts but I can't help but look up to him. He's the only father figure I have right now. His approval means a lot to me. I don't know what the future holds for me and Bren, I don't know if I'll ever earn Jim's respect but I will try to get it from him. I had to say goodbye to Bren. I thanked her for being here for me, for believing me. I love her so much. I'm glad things are good with us, they seem so much better. I decided to go to Hawaii for a couple weeks. I'm not sure how it's going to go but I think the separation from the Walsh's including Brenda will do us all good. I hope she enjoys her summer. I'm beginning to even think maybe I will, putting the weirdness that will probably come with Iris aside, it's what needs to be done. So I can keep living here, going to school here and being near her. I'm going to miss her so much. No this will be good for us. It will be good for me. God I hope so. I know I keep saying that. It's about time I gave Iris a chance. I deserve a mother, maybe it will be fun. You never know right?_

 _Dylan_

 _August 8, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Oh my GOD my mother has not changed in the three years since I've seen her at all. She lives in a weird freaky treehouse on a pineapple farm. She doesn't have TV. She eats organic and there isn't a burrito place in sight. I woke up today to her listening to wind chimes. Not actual wind chimes out the window, like on the stereo. God help me. I did go surfing a little and Maui is really amazing. That was the one thing my mom was right about. It's slow moving here. Island time they call it. I'm even finding it hard not to relax here. I went down to Honolua Beach and went surfing. It was beautiful there. The weirdest thing happened to me. There was a girl, well sort of, I swear it was Brenda. She was running towards me on the beach. She had a royal blue bikini on. Long thick gorgeous warm chocolate hair. She was smiling at me and looked beautiful, we made out on the beach, then she was gone. I even swore I heard her talk to me telling me how much she missed me. II'm officially going crazy. I also fell asleep on my moms balcony or_ _lanai_ _, what she calls it and I dreamt she was laying on the sun lounger with me. I held her in my arms. I kissed her hair, her forehead, her face. It was so real, I could smell her. My hands gently caressed her body in her blue bikini, she kissed me and told me she loved me and how much she missed me again. God I miss her. Do you see a pattern here? Here I am in Hawaii trying to start fresh with my mom but all I can think of is her. I'm not connecting with my mom, honestly we barely talk and I'm falling more in love with Bren. Huh…absence does make the heart grow fonder. My mom does have a cool natural hot spring type of jacuzzi. There is the most amazing storm happening right now the sky was exploding in all these bizarre colors and I had to share it with someone. I called Bren. She sounded as excited to talk to me as I did her. I told her that I still loved her, but the last I heard was her yelling Dylan…you still what? Our connection was disconnected. I wish she was here, I think my mom would like her, well…I think she would. I barely know the woman but she's trying. I'm trying. Hawaii is mellowing me out a little. I'm glad I came. Maybe someday I can bring Brenda here. Make all those dreams I've been having of her come true. Yes…someday I will. Now that's a bet I'll make._

 _Dylan_

Eliot sighed dreamily as she looked towards her clock, 6:45 it read. She headed downstairs to find her mother looking at a script leaning on the kitchen counter.

"Hey mom, what's that a new play?"

"No…Cleopatra opens in a couple weeks, this is a pilot. My agent sent it over." Brenda made a face.

"A pilot! Like in TV? Seriously?" Eliot said excitedly.

"Eh…" Brenda commented as she closed the script and pushed it away, "I've been in LA for over 17 years…this isn't the first time my agent threw a pilot at me. I never had much interest in television since graduating at RADA."

"But mom…TV! You could be famous!" Eliot reached for the script.

Brenda smiled, "God you sound like me when I was your age. I don't know…maybe." she left it at that. "I really enjoy the theater. I don't have any experience in film or television. I know your dad would hate it." Brenda walked over opening the fridge. She looked through it thinking about dinner which she was already late in starting, maybe they could order in?

"I'd hate what?" Dylan strolled in cool and collected. He walked behind Eliot and kissed her head, then made his way over to Brenda.

"Mom's agent sent over a pilot…TV." Eliot smiled wide.

"Ah…" was all he said, his arm snaked around her waist as they stood in front of the refrigerator, he placed a sweet kiss to her temple. "Any good?" he spoke to Brenda.

Brenda closed the refrigerator door and shrugged, "It's interesting." She looked up at him a small smile on her face. She leaned in and pecked him and walked out of his arms.

Eliot watched their interaction, "Why wouldn't you like it if mom did a pilot?" she asked curiously.

Dylan's hands went into his pockets, "Your mother can do whatever she wants. She's amazing in anything she does."

"But…" Eliot knew this conversation wasn't over, at least not on her side. Her mother had opening said out loud her dad would hate it.

"But nothing." Dylan answers simply.

"But…it's not really something I have had much interest in, your dad knows this, he knows it would have to be something really good for me to even consider it." Brenda finishes.

Eliot looks between them, now they are standing closely in front of her. Her hand comes to her hip as she examines them. "But you're considering it?"

Brenda shrugged slightly, "Yeah." she said simply.

Brenda chuckles looking at Eliot's expression and looks at Dylan before making eye contact with her daughter again. "How far are you in the book?"

Eliot expression turns confused, "Umm…dad is in Hawaii with grandma Iris."

"You'll read a little about your moms career and acting. Like I said your mother can do and be in anything she wants. I'll always be her biggest fan."

"Why do I feel like you guys are keeping something from me?" Eliot sits on the counter stool.

"We're not keeping anything from you sweetie, I'm being honest. The pilot sounds interesting, it is something that will help me grow as an actress, I'm considering it…but your dad and I will have to discuss it. When I said your father would hate it, I didn't mean literally, it was more that if the pilot took off, he wouldn't like the attention it may bring to our family. Ever since we got together, we discuss things like this, and have always agreed that when it came to taking certain roles etc, we would think about you and Byron before anything else. Just like sometimes people come to your dad for projects outside of LA. We discuss it and make sure it fits our family. It's always going to be about you and your brother. You both are the most important thing to both of us." Brenda smiles. "Your dad always applauded me in everything I've done."

Eliot nods thinking, "Well I think it's awesome."

Dylan laughs, "Of course you do." he jokes, knowing his daughter has already been in school plays and knows if she had the opportunity to be on TV, she'd be there in a heartbeat.

"What should we do for dinner? Byron has baseball practice until late then he was going to Emma's to study, so it's only us and Aidan." Brenda changes the subject. "Sushi?"

Eliot bites her lip, "Um…actually…it's only going to be you guys and Aidan."

Dylan looks at her curiously, "You have plans?"

"Actually yeah…I have a date." her voice quiet.

"A date? With who?" Brenda looks at her daughter interested now.

"With Stevie. He'll be here at 8 o'clock."

"Seriously Eliot?" Dylan's voice raises in volume, "Stevie Sanders?"

"What's wrong with that?" Eliot gets defensive.

Brenda's hand comes gently to Dylan's arm, "Honey, Stevie is sweet but what about Aidan?"

"What about Aidan? We broke up…we're friends…Stevie asked me out and I know he'll be fun to go out with, Aidan can deal with it."

Dylan huffs, "Well this should be interesting considering Aidan's staying at our house Eliot."

"Hey…it's not my fault, you think I liked knowing Aidan and Audrey were going on dates? Like I said he'll have to deal."

Dylan takes a deep breath, "El are you doing this to get back at him? Because honey." Dylan sighs, "Don't play games."

"Games? GAMES?" Eliot now raises her voice, "I'm not playing games!"

"Eliot calm down. You don't need to yell. I agree with him, this is an awkward situation."

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm going to get ready for my date."

Both Dylan and Brenda watch Eliot huff and stomp out of the kitchen. They look at each other. "She is relentless Bren…it's like non stop drama with her. First she is in love." Dylan makes a face, "With Aidan, now she is going out with Stevie Sanders?" Dylan groans.

Brenda takes a deep breath, "You know how much I love Steve and Janet, Maddie who is amazing and Stevie has always been funny and a good friend to Byron, but in all honesty what do they have in common?" Brenda tries to picture it. The closest they have seen those two were at the Silver's house.

"You and I both know what this is about." Brenda looks at him curiously, "He's easy…he's fun…he's not Aidan." They stare at each other. It making sense. "But…Stevie…god…he's exactly like Sanders." Brenda chuckles. Dylan stares at her like a wounded tortured soul.

"Come here." She wraps her arms around his neck tightly. She begins kissing his neck softly. Running her lips up to his ear lobe, as she sucks gently. Dylan groans and closes his eyes.

"You're doing a good job of distracting me." he whispers.

"That's the idea." Brenda whispers back seductively.

"I am…sooooo sorry." Aidan interrupts them. Brenda keeps her closeness to Dylan as her face turns towards Aidan with a smile. Dylan who is hot and bothered now, leans and gently kisses her cheek before making eye contact. Aidan is smiling an uncomfortable smile at him. "I'm so sorry." he repeats.

Brenda laughs, "It's okay…how was your day? Can I get you anything?" She leans away from Dylan.

"No…I just wanted to let you guys know I was going to Nate's. Mrs. Walsh…err Kelly has parent conferences tonight so we were going to order pizza, shoot some hoops, hang out."

Brenda and Dylan look at each other, relief in their eyes that he won't be here. That is cut short when the buzz from the gate sounds through the kitchen.

Dylan takes a deep breath and moves towards the speaker. "Yeah." he says into it.

"Hey Dylan…it's Stevie." Dylan closes his eyes as Stevie's voice rings through the kitchen. He presses the gate button.

He turns to looks at Aidan. He exhales seeing his expression.

"What's Stevie doing here?" he asks innocently, with full knowledge Byron is not home.

The door bell rings out, as footsteps can he heard running down the steps, "I got it." Eliot calls out.

Aidan's eyes look back at Dylan's then at Brenda's, he shakes his head and moves towards the foyer.

Brenda curses under her breath as they all follow. The three of them watch as Eliot with a huge smile greets Stevie with a hug. He hands her a small bouquet of yellow roses. Eliot smells them.

"Wow…thanks…they're gorgeous." she remarks.

Stevie looks uncomfortably at their audience then back at Eliot. "My dad said yellow roses symbolize friendship, joy and a promise of a new beginnings." he looks intensely into Eliot's eyes and smiles, she smiles back

Brenda and Dylan look at each other, _Steve knew this?_ their eyes ask the same thing.

Aidan crosses his arms. "You have got to be kidding me?" he says out loud. "Eliot…can I talk to you for a minute?"

Eliot looks at Aidan, then back at Stevie, "Um…sure. Stevie can you just give me one second?"

"Of course." he says nicely.

Brenda smiles at Stevie as she lifts her arm to have a seat in the living room. Stevie follows and watches Aidan follow Eliot into the kitchen.

"So…how's school?" Brenda tries to make chit chat as Dylan sits silent, with a awkward smirk on his handsome face.

Eliot walks around the counter and searches for a vase. She proceeds to put her flowers in water.

"What the hell El?" Aidan finally speaks through the silence. "You're actually going out with Stevie?"

"Yes…I am actually." she stares at him, hand on her hip.

Aidan walks over so he is close to her, "What about me…what about us?"

Eliot takes a deep breath and exhales, "Look Aidan, it's only a date. We decided to go out and have some fun."

"We decided? You mean we break up and he decides to make his move?"

"No…actually…it was my idea." She argues.

"Your idea…yeah…right. Is this always something you wanted to do…date one of my best friends?" Aidan is pissed. He's trying to stay calm but jealousy is evident.

"I don't know Aid…was going out with my best friend always something you wanted to do?" Eliot says back, smart ass and slightly bitchy.

Aidan grabs her hand gently, "Eliot I love you. Please don't do this. I want to try to fix this between us but how can I do that if you are dating someone else?" Aidan pleads, his voice calm and sweet now.

Eliot takes a deep breath, "Aidan…you know I love you too but I'm not ready to forgive and forget. We are just going to dinner and a movie. I'm not looking for serious Aidan…I just think I deserve to get out and have a good time. I'm sorry this hurts you."

Aidan silently stares at her. He looks down sadly. "I'll see you later." Eliot says nicely as she turns to head out of the kitchen.

"Eliot?" Aidan calls out. As she turns to look at him, he is in front of her face. Both hands cup her face as he presses his lips against hers. His tongue mixes with hers gently. Eliot whimpers, as a million butterflies swarm her belly. Her fingers reach up into his hair as they tangle gently into it naturally. The kiss is firm but gentle, inappropriate and passionate. Their mouths have memorized each other and are in sync. Aidan pulls away first.

"Please remember how good we are together." He whispers against her mouth.

Eliot is speechless, kissed senseless. She nods slowly, trying to come out of her passion daze. She stares at him, shakes her head slightly and walks out of the kitchen. Aidan smirks at her reaction and is proud of the effect he still has on her. The goodbyes, don't forget about curfew is heard from the foyer and the front door closes. Aidan takes a deep breath.

Brenda and Dylan make their way into the kitchen. Brenda smiles a soft smile at him, "You ok?"

Aidan swallows hard, "I guess."

Brenda sadly nods and leaves the guys to talk, knowing Dylan may have some fatherly advice for him.

"It will be okay Aidan…its only a date." Dylan walks over to him and gently sets his hand on his shoulder. Aidan looks at him, with glassy eyes.

"I hope so." he murmurs. "I know Stevie pretty well…um never mind." he doesn't want to say it out loud.

Dylan exhales, he shakes his head, "Eliot is a responsible young woman. You know her just as well as I do…if not more. She isn't that kind of girl." Dylan prays she isn't anyway.

Aidan nods respectfully, to be honest Eliot and Aidan were affectionate, hot and streamy but he hoped that was because they were crazy about each other. "I'm going to head out to Nate's" he says sadly.

Dylan nods, "Aidan…sometimes when the woman you love goes out with someone else, it only makes them realize the grass isn't always greener. I know she cares about you. Maybe she needs to feel something out to know what she has with you doesn't come around everyday?"

"Thanks Dylan. I hope you're right." just like that Aidan leaves.

Dylan shakes his head, why did he feel sorry for him? Brandon was right, he was getting soft in his old age.

 _Sooooo a little more journals and Eliot is out with Stevie. Next up…the date, Kelly's house, with Nate where Aidan gets some interesting advice from an unlikely source and more journals about Dylan's return from Hawaii, the camping trip and the introduction of Emily Valentine. HEHE! Please review! I'm almost done with London's newest chapter, hopefully I will get that posted by tomorrow. So what do you guys think? Should Eliot realize the grass isn't greener…or push this thing with Stevie deeper? I would love to know because right now, I'm not sure what to do? Let me know…and thanks for reading._


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 13**_

 _ **Namesakes**_

Eliot laughed out loud as they made their way up to the ticket window. "Stevie…you are hilarious…thanks for this."

"Of course! Did Aidan give you a lot of shit about going out with me?" Stevie turned serious.

"No…not shit just tried to make me feel guilty. I love Aidan I do…just after the whole Audrey nonsense, and him staying at my house…I feel like space is a much needed thing right about now."

Stevie nodded, "You guys were a good couple. Two tickets for Fifty Shades Darker."

Eliot laughed, "I can not believe you are making me see this movie." she laughed.

"Oh come on…I thought you girls loved this romantic sexy stuff? You haven't read the books?"

Eliot laughed, "Umm no but Audrey told me all about them." She sighed. She kind of missed her friend.

Stevie smiled, "Well…you know these movies get girls in the mood." he laughed and swung his arm around her. Eliot looked up at him with a smirk.

"I doubt that…didn't you take Audrey to see the first one?" She holds back her laugh.

"She told you about that?" He takes the tickets and leads Eliot to the doors.

"Oh Stevie I know all about the two of you. What I don't get it how come you guys never made things official?"

"Eh…Audrey is gorgeous and fun, the movie totally worked by the way…I don't know. I guess we worked so well physically I didn't want to ruin that,."

"Right…because having a hot steamy relationship with a beautiful girl is a setup for disaster?" Eliot giggled. "Don't be lame Stevie…you guys like each other. I was actually surprised when I heard about Aidan and Audrey because I always thought the two of you would get your head out of your ass and get together for real."

Stevie rolled his eyes, "You weren't the only one. I do like Audrey but don't you think if she liked me too she would tell me? Don't you girls want to be in relationships?"

Eliot shrugged as they moved sideways to take their seats in the theater, "I liked being in a relationship." she sat down and looked over at him.

"Then why aren't you in one…everyone knows how much Aidan cares about you. He never told us guys about the two of you. He never shared anything private with us guys. You know guys do that when they really like someone."

Stevie wraps his arm around Eliot's shoulders as she looks at him, "What about you? You never told any of the guys about you and Audrey?" she raises her eyebrows and smirks.

Stevie rolls his eyes and exhales.

"Stevie? Did you know I was named after a famous poet?"

He looks at her and shakes his head, "T.S. Eliot…and Byron he is named after George Gordon Byron…or better known as Lord Byron. My dad is a poetry junkie and my mom is a true romantic." Stevie smiles warmly at her cuteness. "So in the words of my name sake, If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?" she smiles.

Stevie looks at her confused, "Layman's terms? Cause baby…I am so dense when it comes to poetry. I cheated off your brother in romantic poetry."

Eliot laughs out loud, "That is dense." she jokes, "It means you can't know what your capable of, or in this case what your relationship is capable of if you don't try."

"Are you tossing me away already on our first date?" Stevie smiles and acts hurt.

Eliot laughed and gently smacks him, "I'm saying that this has been an excellent night so far. I like being with you and I have not laughed this much in forever. I know we are great friends and I know that even though Audrey and I aren't exactly the BFF's we were…she likes you and you like her and you both should stop pretending you don't."

Stevie shrugs and takes a deep breath. "Thanks Eliot." he stares into her eyes, she stares back.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispers. "I mean…just to see if this." he waves his hand back and forth, "If there is something more than friendship here?"

Eliot swallows hard, she doesn't say anything but her eyes are inviting.

He leans in as the movie theater goes dark, the previews begin to play. He presses his lips softly against hers. They kiss gently, one peck…then another…then a longer one. His tongue darts out as he caresses hers as he deepens it.

Eliot pulls away and exhales, "Stevie." she whispers.

"You are so beautiful." he whispers back.

"Did you feel anything?" Eliot asks knowing even though the kiss was nice, it didn't make her feel like the kiss with Aidan in the kitchen.

"When a boy kisses a pretty girl…we feel it everywhere…boing…boner city." he jokes quietly.

Eliot giggles and shakes her head, there is the Stevie she knows, she cuddles deeper setting the side of her head on his shoulder. Stevie pulls her into him deeper, "I'll talk to Audrey." he confirms he feels the same. As much as Eliot is beautiful, smart and fun. They are better as friends, he does have deeper feelings for Audrey and what's the use of hooking up with her and not telling her how he really feels. Plus Byron and Aidan are Stevie's best friends…Eliot has always been off limits and she has always been Aidan's girl.

Eliot sighs happily and nods against his shoulder as the movie begins. Putting her dislike of Audrey away at the moment, she wishes the best for them.

"I can not believe she is out on a date with him…Nate what the fuck? I thought Stevie was my friend?"

Nate smiles, "Please dude…you know she is only going out with him to piss you off. I know my cousin, she has absolutely nothing in common with him. Eliot is a thinker, she's romantic and sweet. Much more your type my friend."

"Yes but what if she is looking for something less serious, less intense? We know how Stevie is. He is all talk but when he really likes someone, he's romantic and charming. What if she falls for his charms Nate? Not to sound like a total bitch right now but…I think Eliot and I are the real deal. I see us in my future, marriage, kids even."

"Jesus Aidan you are talking like a bitch…my uncle will literally kick your ass. Don't even talk kids. Look at my parents, they are so in love with each other and separated. Love is weird and I'm beginning to wonder why we bother with love if it never lasts." Nate exhales.

Aidan laughs, "Alright Taylor Swift…who's the bitch now?"

Nate blushes and laughs, "Damn it…I have a sister…what can I say?"

Aidan turns serious, "What if they do it man…I don't think I could ever be friends with Stevie again if he has sex with Eliot."

Nate makes a face, "Gross man…the visuals." He takes a deep breath, "In all seriousness, my cousin is not going to have sex with Stevie. It's one date man, she isn't like that…you of all people know this."

Aidan looks at his friend, "She's done it before…you and I both know…after the first time, sex isn't as big of a deal anymore like the hype of losing your virginity. Once we were in that type of relationship, sex came easy for us after the first couple times."

"You have never talked to me about Eliot like this before." Nate puts aside his weirdness about talking about a girl he considers a sister practically and tries to hear his friend out.

"I know man…I don't talk about this kind of stuff but I used to…with my dad." Aidan looks down sadly. "I can't talk about this with Dylan or your dad. It's too weird and I value my life too much."

Nate laughs and nods, "I know it sucks man. Eliot was your first love, the first girl you were sexual with…I get it. I really think you are thinking too much about this date. For one Stevie is one of your best friends, Eliot is crazy about you. I really think they are two people, going out to have a good time, you went out with Audrey dude. You betrayed her, she has a freebie."

Aidan looks at his long time friend, "I wish I never did that."

"Why did you? Was it about sex?"

Aidan shrugs, "It's not that I'm not attracted to Audrey, it's just I never really looked at her like that. Then when Eliot was away, we hung out so much I started seeing her as a girl, not just Eliot's friend. Things were so heavy with Eliot, it was nice not to worry about Dylan…or what her parents were thinking. It was so easy, it wasn't a good enough excuse."

"You guys good?" Kelly peaks her head in and smiles. She had been listening outside her sons room for the last couple minutes.

The guys uncomfortably shift as Kelly comes in and sits next to her son. She pushes his wavy dirty blonde hair away from his handsome face. "I couldn't help but over hear." Kelly looks at both boys who by the looks of it are awkward they were heard. "Love is a difficult thing. Especially at your age but it is at any age. Sometimes things that seem easy, are actually harder. Sometimes when people are away, you get caught up in that easiness. Reality is not in front of your face but when that reality returns it puts things in perspective. Aidan…Eliot will come around, if what you have is real, no one will come between it. No matter how hard they try." Kelly thought of herself. At one time, Dylan was all she wanted, she denied the look Dylan gave when he talked about Brenda. She ignored the uneasy feeling she had when they hung out. She lashed out in jealousy knowing they had a connection and she was the one that tried to come between it. "It's hard to wait for something you know might never happen, but its even harder to give up when you know its everything you want." Kelly looks down thinking about Brandon. Nate's hand comes to his mothers shoulders. He squeezes gently as her eyes meet his. "Don't give up." she smiles at Aidan and stands, "You guys eat?"

"Yeah…we ordered pizza. Alyssa went to hang with Emma and By, she said she would be home by curfew."

Kelly smiles and nods, "What about you Nate…any girls catch your eye?"

Aidan chuckles as Nate gives him a look, "No mom…the dating pool at West Bev is slight to none…I'm either related to them…or one of my friends has got them first."

"Or they're too young." Aidan jokes and gets a pillow to the face.

Kelly shakes her head and exhales, "You are just like your father." she murmurs but the boys hear and laugh, "You gonna stay over Aid?" she turns in Nathan's door way and looks at the boys.

"Heck no, I have to be home to see Eliot come home from her date." Nate laughs.

Kelly shakes her head, "I don't even want to know." she chuckles and leaves.

Aidan gets up, "I'm gonna go…thanks bro for letting me talk."

"No problem." Nate gets up to walk him out. "One thing though bro…if there is something tied around Eliot's bedroom doorknob, you might not want to interrupt her and Stevie." Nate wiggles his eyebrows at Aidan.

"Funny…asshat." he tosses the pillow back at Nate's face. "See you later douche." Nate laughs out loud as Aidan heads out to go back to the McKay's.

Aidan walks into a quiet McKay house. He sets his keys down and walks into the kitchen. He picks up a note that is sitting on the counter.

 _Hey kids…since you all had plans, we decided on a much needed date night. Don't wait up. Wink wink._ In another handwriting, _What he means is we are seeing a midnight showing of Animal Crackers so you guys better be in bed and home by curfew. Love you, Mom and Dad._

Aidan laughs softly, he likes them. He walks over and opens the fridge grabbing a soda. The front door opens as he takes a sip. As he turns towards the noise, Eliot walks in.

"Hey." she says nicely.

"Hey." Aidan answers back. "How was your date?" his tone condescending.

Eliot ignores it, "It was fun actually. We ate at the pit and then Stevie took me to see Fifty Shades Darker." Eliot rolls her eyes, "It was lame but surprisingly entertaining." she chuckles.

Aidan rolls his eyes too, he walks closer to her setting down his soda.

"Is anyone else here?" she looks at him, nervously…shy.

"Nope…Byron is still at Emma's and your parents left a note, saying they were seeing a midnight movie…date night."

Eliot laughs, "Ah got it. Well curfew is not for another hour so I expect Byron back at 12:01 knowing him." She jokes.

"You're home early." Aidan remarks knowing it is only about a quarter to 11.

"Yeah…Stevie was ah…making a stop over at Audrey's." she wiggled her eyebrows at him. "I think the movie put him in the mood."

"Well I guess I'm glad it put him in the mood for her…and not you." he says truthfully.

Eliot giggles and nods. "Good night." She stares at him and then leans in slowly, kissing him sweetly on the cheek. Aidan swallows hard as he watches her retreat out of the kitchen and by her footsteps up the stairs.

"Hey Eliot." he calls out as he rushes up the stairs meeting her in front of her door. "Did you kiss him?" he asks shyly.

Eliot smiles, "Not like that Aidan…Stevie is a good friend. We had fun but thats all it is. A good friendship."

Aidan smiles relived and nods. "Well…night." Eliot repeats herself.

"Eliot?"

"Hm?"

"Did the movie get you in the mood?" he takes a step towards her.

Eliot swallows hard and stares into his eyes. It did kind of. It made her also miss him.

It only takes two seconds for their lips to crash together in a heated embrace. Eliot reaches up and begins unbuttoning his shirt, as Aidan kicks her door closed.

"What about your parents?" Aidan whispers against her lips.

"If the movie starts at midnight, they wont he home for a few hours still." she whispers back in between the heated kisses.

"Byron?" he kisses her again.

"He won't be home for an hour at least." she takes his mouth to hers again. Aidan bringing her shirt over her head. Eliot hands go to Aidan's face as her back hits her bed roughly. Aidan's lips not leaving hers as he pulls her on top of him. She obliges by straddling him but keeping her chest against his.

"I miss you so much." Aidan whispers gruffly.

Eliot sits up and looks down at him. She reaches behind her unsnapping her bra as she slowly pushes the straps down her arms. "I know…I miss you too." she whispers in the dark. Aidan's eyes fall to her chest. One hand comes up and squeezes gently, her perfect handful filling his palm. She moans softly as her head falls back. She leans down and kisses him again. The butterflies in her abdomen in over drive.

She reaches for the button on his jeans, his hand stops her, "You sure you want to do this?" he asks seriously. "Are you still on the pill?" he asks hopeful.

She smiles, "Yeah." she says quietly. "And yes, I'm sure." she stares into his eyes. When the last of their clothes come off, Aidan settles over her, he rests on his elbows as he looks down at the girl who has his whole heart. "You are my sun…my moon…and all of my stars." he whispers against her lips, he quotes E.E. Cummings, which he does often and then gently pushes into her. The warmth and fullness surrounds them. As he moves slowly with her, he wonders if this means they are getting back together but at that moment in time. Being with her again, feeling her loving him, he doesn't stop to ask.

 _August 17, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Aloha! I'm home…but guess what, my mother is moving back to Beverly Hills. I came back first. She is coming out in a week or so after she shuts up her treehouse and gets things settled in Maui. I don't know how I'm feeling about the whole thing. I called Brenda a lot when I was in Hawaii, sometimes we spoke but the last time Cindy said she was in the shower, she didn't call me back. I hope it isn't out of sight out of mind cause I can't stop thinking about her. I did go over as soon as I got back though. As she answered the front door, her beautiful smile gleamed at me. I felt whole again. She said she was hoping it would be me at the door. I asked her if she missed me…I told her I missed her as I hugged her tightly. She said she did, and little glimpses of my dreams came to my mind of her in Hawaii with me. I told her I'd take her there someday. She laughed, I don't think she knew how serious I was. I did get to give the Walsh's their leis that I had brought back for them. Cindy loved hers, so did Brenda. It was just a small way of saying Mahalo. For letting me stay there, for taking me in. It won't repay them entirely but I wanted them to know how much I appreciated them. I think it worked. That night at the luau at the Beach club, I hung out with Brenda a lot. She asked me what I did in Hawaii, I told her the truth, that I hung out in my mothers freaky treehouse and dreamed of her. She rolled her eyes at me, not believing that was true but it was. I was kind of hoping with our separation she would want to get back together with me. Instead she told me how complicated this thing of ours is. It doesn't have to be. I have never felt like this about anyone before, I know its scary. She told me while I was gone, she went after an older guy. Jealousy rushed through me but I kept it to myself. Instead I asked her, And? Like what does this mean, is it really done between us, because right now I feel like we are broken up but not at the same time? We share kisses, cuddles, I mean its innocent but its there. The need for one another, the love. All she said was that she was glad I was back. Thank you LORD! I took that as the older guy didn't work out and that's all I want to know about it. The night was great. After that we danced together and were as close as we would be in a pubic place. HAHA If Brenda and I went back. Back to being inclusive and together together, would we take over where we left off? Because I would take her back in an instant, but could we go back to before, before we were intimate with one another? I don't know if that's possible. Now that I know what its like to have this intense, lustful yet loving relationship with her, I'm not sure if I could and not want her like that. It's too amazing not too. I guess we'll see._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up and sighed. It was really late, her parents had been home for at least 30 minutes, Byron before them by curfew. They came in to check on her. No sight of Aidan thank god, he had retired to his room before he passed out naked with her in her bed, his words not hers. She smiled, and bit her lip, oops, she slept with him. She couldn't help it. The movie, even though Eliot had made fun of it, was weirdly romantic and totally hot. It did get her in the mood and then seeing Aidan, close to her. His intense loving stare, she didn't want to say no. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. But now what does it mean? Eliot wasn't the type of girl to have sex with a boy and not be in love with them. She wasn't the type of girl to have sex with a boy she wasn't committed too. But her heart was committed to Aidan. He was the only boy she ever loved. Was she ready to trust him? She didn't know. She smiled, they still had it in the bedroom though, that was reassuring. She didn't regret it because it was wonderful. Her father was right, when you love someone its wonderful. It was too amazing not too. Eliot thought about her conversation with her dad.

" _We expect that you respect the rules of this house. We trust you to not make this more difficult. No funny business please." Dylan begged with his eyes._

 _Eliot smiled, "You mean sex? Daddy…Aidan and I are trying a go at being friends. We aren't even going out."_

 _Dylan nodded and exhaled, "Not sex exactly…I know your just friends…but I also know sometimes it doesn't work like that. When feelings are there and urges." he shook his head not wanting to say more._

 _Eliot held in her smile as she crossed her arms, "Like silky blue robes, short shorts and tank top kind of urges?" she smirked._

 _Dylan's brow creased together not getting it, then his eyes widened and his mouth dropped, he breathed out a laugh, his hands going to his face as he roughly dragged them down it. He looked to the ceiling and breathed out. Eliot hopped down the living room steps and as her father looked at her guilty she gently kissed his cheek, "I get it dad, no funny business." she laughed._

"Oops." Eliot whispered, there was feelings and urges, crap. Whatever, Byron absolutely had sex in this house. With that slut Pamela Davis and Emma…a few times. She knew this. Not only did they share a freaking wall, Emma was her best friend. She didn't know the details thankfully, but she knew Emma and Byron were doing it, and she knew it was a big deal because Emma's mother, Donna, had expected her to wait until marriage. She even tried to make her feel better when Eliot asked her mom if Donna had truly waited. When Brenda answered, _well…not necessarily_ she knew she hadn't but probably did wait a while, the end of college to be exact, which even in those days was a long time. It did make Emma feel less guilty. How would they ever know? Her cell ringed alerting a text message. She reached for it and smiled.

 _How am I suppose to go to bed? All I can think about is you._

 _You are not texting me from down the hall right now._

 _Would you rather I snuck in? (wink emoji)_

 _GOD NO…do you want to live to 18? LOL_

 _Eliot…does this mean I'm forgiven, cause…tonight was amazing._

Eliot smiled and sighed, _It means I'm working on it._ She wrote back.

 _Ugh you are frustrating…but sexy_

Eliot laughed out loud and covered her mouth quickly, _Thanks…I think?_

 _HAHA I just heard you laugh_

Eliot's phone rings in her hand, she hits accept quickly, "Hello?" she whispers into it.

"Come to my room." Aidan whispers roughly.

"Hell no…no way." Eliot shakes her head, there was no way.

"I want you."

"You had me already…and it probably wasn't the smartest idea."

"You regret being with me?" Aidan says sadly.

"No…not at all…just I don't think I'm ready to be a couple again."

Aidan sighs, "What do I have to do Eliot? Whatever it is…I'll do it?"

"Aidan…just be you. It's just too soon okay?"

Aidan sighs into the phone, "Well…will begging work?"

Eliot giggles then silence fills the phone, "I love you Eliot." she keeps her smile.

"I love you too." she says back.

"Night El…sweet dreams."

"Night." she clicks end on her phone. She grabs her fathers book and lays down further into her bed.

 _August 29, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _My mother is here. Living with me in my house. It's interesting to say the least. It gives us a chance to spend some time together. The last week I was in Maui, we actually had fun, well sort of I was pretty bored but still. She is ditzy, eccentric, she reads tarot cards and visits psychics, she is practically my polar opposite, but she has some good advice once in a while. I even bailed out on the gangs upcoming trip to Yosemite to help her get settled, spend time with her. She bailed on me. She is going to the dessert on a spiritual retreat and I'm not invited. Well…not that I would want to but still. So much for quality time with mom. She said my planetary alignment is in severe disarray. What ever the fuck that means? I have to admit. I'm really sick of her cosmic mumbo jumbo. As much as I love my mom, she drives me completely fucking nuts. Brenda kept looking at me as we drove in the van after deciding to go camping with them afterall. I can tell she is worried about me. I didn't think I was being obvious but maybe she knows me better than I thought. I just can't take any of this. I can't listen to Brandon whine about his missing hiking boots, I can't listen to Steve talk about beer and living up this party, I can't listen to Brenda talk about love being the meaning of life when she threw ours away. I can't hear any of it. It's like I'm constantly reminded I am not wanted and a mistake. The stupid newlyweds next door are fighting over her being pregnant. It serves them right…for getting married in the first place. I know I'm being antisocial but every time I have stormed out of that fucking nasty cabin, Brenda has chased after me. She is trying to be here for me, but I'm angry with her too. It's weird how things changed since the last time I wrote in this thing. She thinks I should be grateful for what I have, she told me she knows I got a bum deal but I have friends that care about me…all the guys love me, every girl would love to go out with me. Every fucking girl…but one…the only one I want. It feels like we've been broken up forever. I feel so lost. She said I thought we both decided it would be better to see other people…where the fuck did that come from? I didn't decide that…I didn't break up with her. She is one that decided…she is the one that decided to leave me. She is the one that thinks this is better…its better for her…thats it. She gets me following her around like a puppy and she gets to pick and choose when she wants me around. FUCK THAT. I stole 2 bottles from the mini bar in the newlyweds suite. I stalked away from those stupid fucking newlyweds, Brenda and the rest of the gang and went in the woods to be alone. I drank both bottles…puked my guts out and cried. My mom really let me down this weekend._

 _Dylan_

Eliot wiped her tears that had fallen, he was such an angry boy. Her heart hurt thinking about her dad at that time. Feeling so alone.

Dylan smiled as he flipped the page in the photo album. He ran his finger down a picture of Brenda, with both twins in her arms. She was in the hospital, she looked exhausted yet the most beautiful he'd ever seen her as she smiled at the camera.

"Honey…are you awake?" Brenda whispered rough, filled with sleep. Dylan has a soft light on still.

He reaches out and rubs her hip, "I'm sorry baby…I'll go downstairs. Go back to bed."

She turns towards him and slowly looks at him, "What are you doing?" she pushes herself up slowly and leans against him. She smiles sleepily seeing the photo album he is looking at.

"Can't sleep? God look at how much hair By had. It seems like so long ago…yet just yesterday."

"I know…its crazy right?" Dylan sighed as he looked at his loving wife. "You ever wish we had more kids?" he asked serious.

Brenda shrugged, "Sometimes…now that Eliot and Byron are older…on the way out of the house. Sometimes I envy Donna and David. Their surprise with Ruby was such a blessing. When Emma goes off to college, they'll still have a little one running around. Then I think about starting over, now at our age." Brenda chuckles, "I don't know." Brenda sighs. "Do you remember being 26…new parents. A new us really, we were together but not married…and having not one baby but two?"

Dylan nods, "Yeah…it was a lot of work. We made a good team you and me. We napped when they napped, we tag teamed the housework, I wanted to make an honest woman out of you so bad…but you were so stubborn."

Brenda laughs, "Oh man…seems like another life." Dylan looks at her, his eyes intense, she leans in and kisses him softly. "I was dumb. I should have married you right away. It's just that…things were strange. You had to tell Kelly about us, you guys were together."

"Bren…we were not at that point…I cheated on her the night of Donna and David's wedding. I holed myself up in my suite with you for days. I begged you not to go back to Switzerland. She was screwing Brandon. Then a month later, you show up on my door step."

Brenda smiles, "And changed your life forever."

"I didn't know if I was going to be a good dad, it turns out it was the best most important job I ever got. I was so sick of just getting by through life. It was like you came back into it and changed my whole life for the better."

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I was scared, I know…not a new concept especially with us. You know we had been apart for 2 years. Everything happened so fast. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping you at arms length. It was stupid."

"I get it Bren…that's why I wrote the book. I wanted you to know I was deeply in love with you. I always had been. It was my way of showing you more than words. I knew we had a lot of work to do when you found out you were pregnant but I didn't want these babies…to ever feel like they weren't wanted just because we didn't plan them."

"I know." Brenda whispered and caressed her thumb across his cheek. "You are an amazing father. You were from the beginning." Dylan smiled and looked back at the book, turning the page. He looked down at the four of them posed together. Brenda and Dylan were cheek to cheek, Byron in Brenda's arms as an infant, Eliot in Dylan's. Proud wide smiles on they faces. "God looks at us, we were so young." Brenda admires the picture.

"You look the same…I look as ancient as I feel." Brenda laughs.

"You are still the sexiest guy I know." She kisses his cheek. Dylan smiles and rolls his eyes.

Their heads both turn from each other and look towards their bedroom door as a light knock sounds out. Eliot pops her head in. Her eyes are red from crying.

"Eliot…baby…what's wrong?" Dylan closes the book concerned as he sits up straighter.

Eliot runs in and ambushes Dylan with a hug. She sobs into his neck. "Hey…hey…what's wrong?" he consoles her as his eyes meet Brenda's worried eyes. They are taken back.

"I just love you so much. Thank you for being the best father…for both of you, for both being the best parents ever." She cries.

Dylan pushes her away gently and looks into her eyes, "What?" he smiles still shocked not getting it.

"I…just…I read about the camping trip and I just can't believe how you grew up. It reminded me how lucky I am."

Brenda chuckles as tears fill her eyes at the scene in front of her, "Oh El. I know I had the same reaction when reading most of that book."

"I was lost back then El. I tried to act tough and together on the outside but inside I was a mess. Your uncle, your mother, they brought me back to the living."

"It's so crazy to me since Iris has been so involved with us. She was there for birthdays, plays, Byron's games…it's like reading about another person."

"Oh grandma Iris isn't so bad." Brenda says, she loves her mother in law.

Dylan looks at her, "Oh come on Bren…she's bat shit…but we love her anyway."

Eliot laughs and wipes her nose. "What are you looking at?" She reaches for the photo album. "Why are you guys even awake?"

"Your father and I were reminiscing. Come here." She sets her hand around her shoulders and pulls her so she is sitting between them. Eliot opens the photo album and smiles.

"Look at Byron…what a dork." she laughs.

A loud yawn is heard from the doorway, "What are you guys blabbing about?" Byron moves his hand through his bed head.

"Come here By look at this." Eliot says out loud but doesn't look up fro the photos.

Byron climbs up his parents California king and puts himself in between Brenda and Eliot. "Haha…look at me…I'm handsome."

Brenda laughs and kisses his head. "You both were gorgeous babies."

The twins settle in getting lower as all four of them cuddle together. "All who joy would win must share it. Happiness was born a twin." she reads from the page. "Lord Byron." she smiles at the picture of the twins in their bassinet.

"You named me after a pansy poet." Byron smiles but rolls his eyes.

Brenda's mouth opens, surprised. "Lord Byron is not a pansy."

"If you actually knew how to read By…you would know that Lord Byron was a ladies man. He had over 200 women but only loved one. He was mad bad and dangerous to know."

"That's what I'm talking about." Byron smiles suddenly proud of his name sake.

Dylan laughs, "His one true love was actually his half sister." he throws in.

Brenda laughs out loud, "Eww…that's sick." Byron makes a face and looks at Eliot.

"It's true. She was married and he might have even fathered one of her children." Brenda adds.

Both twins make a gagging noise."But…the letter he wrote to her…My Dearest love…is the reason we named you that. Your father used to read poetry to me when I was pregnant. He told me that My dearest love always reminded him of me, half sister aside. it's truly beautiful and even though your dad was the love of my life…that poem sealed the deal." Brenda looks over at Dylan. He smiles a warm smile at her and winks. "He also read another Byron poem in our wedding vows."

"What about me? Why Eliot? He is probably one of the least romantic poets, I mean why not Elizabeth…after Browning or something like that, why T.S. Eliot? Not that I don't love it…I do love my name." Eliot smiles and looks towards her father then her mother.

Dylan smiles and looks down. "When your mom and me got together, well since you know now I guess, maybe you don't Byron but when we got together that night at Donna and Davids wedding. I had just read T.S. Eliot's collective works days earlier. Donna and David wanted me to pick a poem, so I started going through my books in search of one to read at their wedding. I came across a poem called A Slow Dance…it instantly reminded me of your mom but at the time, she had not been in my life for 2 years. When I saw her at the reception, after years of being apart. That poem came back to me, I had memorized it and thought of it at that moment again…have you read it?" He looks down at his daughter, who is cuddled into his side.

She shakes her head, it didn't sound familiar then again, She didn't read a lot of Eliot. Dylan thinks of the right wording to tell his children, even though they're young adults.

"Umm well…as I made out with your mom." Brenda laughs remembering it was more than that and Eliot and Byron look at each other and scrunch their nose, "Well…you get it, I recited it to her. It became our thing. When your mom first found out she was pregnant. I joked that it was because of the poem."

"I don't know how I feel about being named after your guys sex poem, how did it go?"

Dylan smirks but rolls his eyes, knowing that it was sort of true. "I remember how seeing the shape of your mouth that first time, I kept staring until my blood turned to rain. Some things take root in the brain and just…"

"Don't…let go." Brenda and Dylan say together looking into each others eyes.

"Then when your mom tried to leave me again for a play in Switzerland, I sent her a letter with another Eliot poem. Funny thing is she never left and never got it either. She finally read the poem later on. It was about waiting without hope. I thought she was gone for good. Luckily you guys brought her back to me."

Eliot sighed happily and turned the page on the photo album. Her and Byron looked through it cuddled with their parents. They smiled and pointed reminiscing. Brenda looked over the heads of Byron and Eliot, her eyes meeting Dylan's. She smirked at him in which he returned. This was the best thing in the world. Their stares reflecting just that. "I love you." she mouthed silently.

Dylan nods, "I love you too." he mouths back. After their stare lingers on, they turn back to their family memories. Cuddling close to their teenagers where they eventually fell asleep together like they used to when the kids were little.

 _There you go guys. The site has been up and down so I hope you all can read the newest chapter. I'm glad you guys are liking it. Hit review and thanks for reading. I know some of you want to know about Kelly and Brandon. Oh you will find out. Probably soon actually. Wink Wink._


	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 14**_

 _ **Wild Fire**_

Brenda held up two evening gowns, then the other two she had, she smiled. It was the 27th annual West Beverly Mother/Daughter fashion show. Being chaired by no other than her, Donna and Kelly. She thought back to the shows she had attended while going to West Beverly. The first one was unforgettable. It was the moment when she realized her mother Cindy was a lot cooler than she thought she was. She learned to appreciate her down to earth mother in an instant. It was also the moment she realized not everything is as it seems. Kelly Taylor's life was not at all glamorous and not normal either. She jumped a little hearing the front door close as she thought back.

"Well…well…what are those for?" Brandon walked into the house first. He plopped down on the McKay's couch and reached his hand in a bag of chips he had been eating.

Brenda looked at him disgusted, as the sound of him crunching rang out. Dylan chuckled as his hand went to the small of her back. He leaned in and kissed her temple gently, then joined Brandon on the couch.

"Sexy dress Bren…you going out without me?" he joked.

"These are for the mother/daughter fashion show. You think it's too much?" Brenda held the one she was planning to wear against her. It was long and black. It had a little beading on the bodice which plunged low between her breasts, it flowed beautifully, with a high slit up her thigh.

Dylan whistled, "Damn…for West Bev?" He imagined her in the dress and smirked. His eyebrows raised as his eyes traveled back up to her eyes, "Hell no." Brenda laughed.

"Good…this one is for Eliot." Dylan's smile faded. "Ha ha." she laughed out loud joined by Brandon, "I'm kidding…this one is for her." she laid the black number down on the chair and held up a two piece. Also black, with a beaded top and long flowing skirt. The top was short it and would show Eliot's taut waist but was modest.

"Oh thank god." Dylan said relieved. "They're beautiful." he was honest after the relief.

Brandon leaned forward, he laughed at Dylan again.

"Oh this one is for Alyssa." Brenda grabbed the short red lace dress she had chosen for her niece. It would look amazing with her blonde hair. Brandon groaned, now it was Dylan's turn to laugh at his brother in law. Brandon playfully shoved him.

Brenda looked at Brandon, "This one is for Kelly." she said nonchalantly.

Brandon cleared his throat but looked at the dress. It was also red lace. Kelly's had a off the shoulder look and low back, it hugged curves dangerously and flowed gorgeously to the floor. Brandon swallowed hard. "It's…nice."

Brenda's eyebrow raised, "Nice?"

Dylan smirked and breathed out a laugh, Brandon glared at him. "Ok…it's more than nice…I'm sure she'll look beautiful…they both will." he changed his tune.

Brenda smiled proud of her choices, Eliot came around the corner, "Ooooo…the dresses." she said excitedly. "Where's mine? I want to try it on." Brenda smiled and handed her her outfit.

Eliot held it against her. She smiled and raised her eyebrows as she looked at her mother.

"I did good huh?" Brenda said proudly.

Eliot nodded, leaning into her and kissing her cheek.

"How much do I owe you Bren…for Alyssa's dress?" Brandon reached for his wallet, Brenda smirked with full knowledge Brandon did not that have that kind of cash with him.

"Don't worry about it…Kelly already paid me." Brenda looked down at the dresses again.

Brandon took a deep breath, "Well than half? Let me at least pay half of my daughters dress?"

Brenda looked at him seriously, "Brandon…work it out with her."

"Brenda." Brandon exhaled. "I barely talk to Kelly. She never tells me about anything extra on top of the support checks." Eliot bit her lip, normally her parents and uncle didn't talk about this kind of stuff in front of her.

"Brandon stop being a jerk, you were married for 15 years…talk to her…she isn't going anywhere." Brenda looked at Eliot. Trying to hint to go try on her dress. She didn't get the hint.

"Uncle Brandon…what happened…with you and aunt Kelly? I mean what's so big that you two couldn't work it out?" Eliot asked softly. She just wish she understood.

"It's adult stuff El?" Brandon said nicely. Dylan looked down and took a deep breath as Brenda looked sadly at her brother.

"Why don't you take our dresses upstairs El…we can try them on together. I'll be up in a minute." Eliot got the hint now. She nodded sadly, taking the dresses upstairs.

The three watched her leave for a moment. Brenda opened her mouth to try to have a heart to heart with her twin but he interrupted her.

"Brenda don't start with me. This isn't your business." Brandon got angry, his tone too stern, rude even.

"Hey." Dylan butted in, "Be nice. Bren was JUST going to say Bran…the little tidbits you told us, I mean…I get it…I do."

"Do you?" Brandon looks at his brother in law with a hard stare. Dylan swallows hard. "You have your happy ending." Brandon gets up angrily, "You two reunited and just knew…that was it. The past didn't matter, the relationship that once was between you and Kelly didn't matter. I thought I knew…but I didn't." Brandon's tone was cold as ice. Brenda watched her husband explode. She knew it was coming.

"There is nothing going on between Kelly and I Brandon." Dylan got up and matched his demeanor. "Do not blame this on me. I don't know what you think you know…but you're wrong. Kelly is in love with you. And if you are too stubborn to see this…that is not my fault."

Brandon looks down and exhales. He sits down exhausted. "I know there isn't anything going on between you Dylan. I know you love my sister. You guys have a wonderful life…an amazing family. I know that you and Bren are meant to be together. The past only made you grow closer and fall more in love with one another."

"So what's different Brandon, why wasn't it like that with Kelly?" Brenda stepped closer to her brother. Her heart ached and for the first time she saw the wall of protection Brandon had built around him this past year, crumble.

"I found a journal okay…I read Kelly's journal." Brandon said as he closed his eyes.

Brenda and Dylan were quiet for what seemed like forever.

"Wh…what journal?" Brenda finally said almost scared.

Brandon took a deep breath, "Years ago…Kelly got a journal…from Val…for Christmas. She wrote in it often actually. Before we even got back together in college to fairly recently." Brandon looked down ashamed. He hadn't told anyone this.

"Does she know you read it?" Dylan asked. He was scared to know what it said.

Brandon shook his head.

"Brandon." Brenda breathed out.

"I know…okay…I know…it was fucked up."

"Well…what did it say?" Brenda asked curiously.

"Brenda." Dylan said her name sternly.

"What?" she said innocently. "Maybe it's…something I should know about." she tried to justify it.

Dylan just looked at her, no he didn't want to know and he didn't want her to know either. Especially if it was something Brandon didn't like and separated from her for.

"Uh Uh." Brandon shook his head and got up, "No way…this is as far as I go with this and it's not your business."

"I agree." Dylan exhaled relieved.

"Maybe…it is my business…if it has to do with my husband, maybe I want to know." Brenda crossed her arms.

"Maybe you don't." Brandon said hard.

"Maybe I do." Brenda repeated.

"Look Brenda…Brandon." They said at the same time. The twins started arguing and Dylan had had it. He got up and in between them.

"Stop it both of you. Jesus I feel like I'm breaking up the kids arguments." He turned towards Brenda, "It doesn't matter what the journal says, those are Kelly's private thoughts and we shouldn't know about them."

Brenda opened her mouth to speak, Dylan interrupted, "Especially…if they involve anything to do with us…or me." Dylan shook his head, knowing what Brenda was going to say. He wasn't about to look for trouble where as far as his relationship with Brenda went, there was none.

"Brandon…I'm sorry this happened. I don't know what that journal says and I don't want to. It doesn't matter but…I know it matters to you and I get it."

Brenda exhaled, "I'm sorry Brandon." she said defeated. She really didn't care what it said. She had no idea if these entries were recent or old. She didn't care. Whatever feelings or thoughts Kelly had about her husband…were one sided.

Brandon nodded, "Thanks. I don't mean to start anything. It's my problem, my insecurity."

"You coming to the fashion show?" Brenda tried to change the subject, it was a failed attempt considering Kelly was chairing the event and it was a mother/daughter show after all.

Brandon smirked and shook his head, "Yeah…I asked Katie but she'll be in San Francisco covering a story. I guess I'm going solo."

Eliot trotted down the stairs "Solo to what?" she asked only catching the trail end of the conversation wearing her outfit. She smiled and twirled around with her arms held out.

"Wow sweetie…you look incredible." Dylan smiled.

Brandon smiled at his niece. "Very beautiful!" he commented.

"On Point." Brenda said proudly. Brandon, Dylan and Eliot stared at her with smirks on their amused faces, "What? Is that not cool anymore?"

Eliot laughed, "Thanks. So solo to what?" she looked at Brandon, nosey.

Brandon chuckled, "To the fashion show. Katie is going to be out of town but I wouldn't miss my girls up there looking _on poin_ t." he joked looking at Brenda as she rolled her eyes at the dig.

"Your girls? Like Kelly too?" Eliot eyed him. Brandon shook his head not amused. She didn't mean anything by it, she obviously hadn't heard the conversation.

He cleared his throat. "My girls…meaning Alyssa and you of course." Brandon fixed the wording.

"Why don't you go with Kelly? I think it would be nice…for Alyssa and Nate…to see you getting along." Brandon's smile faded.

"Well…that's my cue." Brandon got up. He leaned in kissing his niece on the temple. "Smart ass." he whispered to her and Eliot laughed.

"Bye Bran." Dylan called out. Amused by the interaction between him and Eliot. "I'll meet you at the field in an hour." Both Nate and Byron were on the West Beverly baseball team. Dylan and Brandon attended practices often to watch.

"Sounds good." Brandon continued to the front door. He pulled it open to see Kelly and Alyssa standing on the porch.

"Hey dad," Alyssa smiled wide, She leaned in and kissed his cheek and moved past him into the house.

"Hey." Kelly said with a shy smile.

"Hey." Brandon answered. "You coming to get your dresses?" He looked uncomfortably towards the living room hearing the greeting of his daughter and family.

"Um…yeah…you coming?" Kelly asked hopeful.

Brandon looked at her and nodded, "Of course. See ya around." Brandon moved past her and out the front door. Kelly watched him and took a deep breath.

"Mom…come in here…look at these dresses." she turned suddenly away from Brandon's fleeting back towards her daughter. She sadly looked at Brandon getting into his car as she closed the front door.

Kelly walked into the living room, "Hey guys." she greeted Dylan, Brenda and Eliot.

"Hey Kel." Dylan moved past her out of the living room, he couldn't help the awkward energy in the air after hearing about the journal from Brandon. She watched him curiously.

Brenda forced a smile, "Here is yours." she pushed the dress towards Kelly.

"Oh wow…Bren…this is gorgeous." she looked at her dress, "I hope I can pull it off."

"You totally will mom." Alyssa commented, both her and Eliot checking out their attire excitedly. "Come with me to try mine on." Alyssa added and her and Eliot retreated up the stairs.

"Is everything okay?" She moved towards Brenda, Kelly felt the quiet awkwardness surround her.

"Oh yeah…totally." Brenda didn't make eye contact.

"You sure?" Kelly wasn't buying it.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Brenda looked into her eyes. Kelly tried to read her. "When does Donna want to meet to go over the finishing touches on the event?" Brenda moved away from her and hung her dress in the doorway.

Kelly stood silent, Brenda turned to look at her. "Um…tomorrow tonight?" Kelly knew something was weird but if nobody was going to talk to her about it, she sure as hell couldn't fix it.

 _September 12, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Today was the first day of our junior year. Back to school…back to tests…reading books I have already read…back to getting up early…back to seeing Brenda everyday but not being with her this time. I swear this summer felt like forever to me. Being without her has been hard. It's crazy how attached I have become to her, how dependent I am on her love, her friendship…just her period. I promise myself I'm not going to mope. I'm going to have a good year, with or without Brenda. I'm a free agent. I can date whomever I want, I can go back to my old ways. As I pulled up to school this morning, I already had my old air about me on display. I went to Randy's donuts, got a killer cup of coffee and a cruller. It made me absolutely late but I didn't give a shit. It was worth it and the old Dylan wouldn't have cared to be late on the first day of school. As I parked in my assigned spot. I noticed an awesome bike, black and shiny not like the red or blue or yellow speed rockets that some of the kids at school had. My bike was out of commission and it reminded me I should work on it. As I was admiring it, the person that sat on it, took the helmet off their head and to my surprise it was chick. She was a cute chick, bleached blonde hair, not natural from the hint of dark roots showing through. Her lips were a pouty red and she carried a guitar case on her back. As I stepped on the passenger side door to my Porsche and hopped out of my car. I stared at her. Maybe this year could be even better than I thought? She seemed cool. She was definitely not a freshman, not from around here, definitely a transfer. She had the I don't give a shit attitude I had and it peaked my interest. Maybe Brenda changed me, maybe I should date? It didn't have to be serious. I thought about the Baja disaster with Stacy, maybe that wasn't what this new and improved old Dylan wanted? Hook ups and such. I could date…I could date a lot of girls. Play the field. When I introduced myself to miss leader of the pack, she said her name was Emily Valentine. Cool name…I checked her out further, she wasn't trendy or princess like, like Brenda in that way but I had noticed the longer Bren lived here in LA the better her clothes got. I didn't really care what Brenda wore she looked great in everything. UGH no don't talk about Brenda…Anyway Emily Valentine, we flirted shamelessly with each other. She joked about taking her out for a cruller sometime after I told her about my donut pit stop and I proposed ditching and going right then and there. She declined but when I extended the offer for a date that night she happily accepted. We eye fucked the shit out of each other and I watched her head in to school. Not a bad first day, the only problem was…I had to tell Brandon. I caught up with him at lunch and told him, I had a date that I was excited about and I wanted to take her by the pit. I wanted to make sure he was cool with it. You know as my friend but as Brenda's brother. He was cool, he acted normal anyway. I'm sure he wouldn't be running home to tell Bren that he saw me with another girl anyway. Not like she'd care I assume. Well wish me luck. I'm picking up Emily in 20 minutes. It's weird going out with someone else. Here goes nothing._

 _Dylan_

Eliot made a face, _ugh. Why was she so grossed out when she read about her father and other girls?_

"Everything ok El?" her dad happened to hear her disgust as he past her bedroom. Dylan stood in her doorway watching her. He noticed she was reading his journal at the time of said disgust.

Eliot chuckled then made a face, "It's tough to read you talk about other girls, I guess I'm bias but I like you with mom, even though I have no clue what they look like…except Kelly I guess."

Dylan swallowed hard and walked deeper into the bedroom, guess she wasn't up to Kelly yet. "Well there was a few I guess, not in high school though soo…let me guess…Emily Valentine?" Dylan smiled.

"Bleach blonde? Motorcycle? Dad could you have a thing for blondes? Or were just trying to get as far from mom's type as possible?" Her stare hardened.

Dylan laughed out loud, "No…at that point I would have asked anyone on a date. It was weird what the year did to me being with your mom. I was used to being in a relationship, it was a big deal for me because I hadn't been like that before. Your mom was my first serious relationship."

"Please don't tell me I have to read entries and entries about other women dad."

Dylan smiled and shook his head. "This one very short lived…you'll see why." he chuckles being in on his own joke and turns to leave. "Oh Eliot?" he turns and makes eye contact with his daughter again. "There will be other women as you go through the journal but just so you know…I would never have given that to your mom if it was too much, you know what I mean?"

Eliot nodded, she did get it. He wouldn't of had her read details of him with other women. Not if he wanted her to marry him anyway.

"Emily Valentine." Dylan breathed and shook his head. "That was crazy one." he uttered. "HaHa ask your uncle about her." Dylan continued to laugh as he left Eliot to her reading.

She looked after him oddly, she shrugged not getting it and began reading again.

 _September 12, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well…the date was good and bad. So I brought her by the pit and to my surprise she knew Brandon. Actually she has a date with him too tomorrow night. Now I don't mind so to speak it's not like were exclusive but I feel like this situation isn't a smart idea. I mean dating a girl my friend is dating? Anyway I put that whole thing past me and after a couple of mega burgers, I brought her to the point to see the LA view, well and to make out a bit. Hey I'm a male…sue me! As we kissed, which was nice but different. I thought about Brenda. I thought about all the times I had brought her up here. It was a weekly occurrence in the beginning. Once we were more serious we always went back to my house. It was private and we could do more. Ugh anyway, the guilt flooded me and I told Emily about Brenda. Not by name or anything I just told her to be fair, I just broke up with someone…but were not really broken up…but were not together. God I know that sounded lame but it was honest. I added I wasn't looking for anything heavy and she was fine with it. So I went in and continued kissing her. Like I said, it was nice actually. But as nice as it was…it wasn't Brenda. I'm fucking hopeless._

 _Dylan_

 _September 13, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I can't believe her…I can NOT believe her. Ok let me reel in my anger at the moment. Let's just start with first of all, Brandon has a big mouth. I know he went and told Brenda about my date with Emily because she knew about it. I don't know if he was trying to start trouble or maybe because he has a date tonight with her, he wanted her advice? Whatever the reason…she knows. So what right, I mean it wasn't a secret. Well I got bombarded by Brenda at lunch. She said we had to talk and I asked about what. She said Emily Valentine. I kept walking because this was stupid. She asked me if I was going to see her again and I told her the truth…I didn't know…maybe. She told me she was going out with Brandon tonight…which I knew already. I stopped and faced her. Her eyes were angry but sad. She had a dislike for the girl I could tell. I wasn't a stranger to jealousy or the way girls act towards another girl when it comes to jealousy. I've experienced it before, seen it in countless movies. Brenda was seething jealous. Now not that I don't like it. I liked the fact it effected her BUT what the hell does she want from me? I can't win with her. She cuts me loose, makes a production about how we ought to see other people so I did. Now she is throwing it back in my face! I told her all this. She told me she didn't think it would happen this fast and I tell her that it feels like forever. It's the truth. She looks me straight in the eye, she's holding back tears she is so angry and upset, I want to comfort her at first and then I remember why she's mad at me, HELL NO. She asks me why am I really going out with her…because I like her…or because she'll sleep with me? WOAH woah woah. It was one freaking date. Sleep with her, I barely know her. Plus she is going out with Brandon too. No…I wasn't even thinking of sleeping with her. That pissed me off even more. So you know what…I said something that I knew would drive her crazy. Instead of making her feel better, instead of telling her the truth, that I had no intention of sleeping with Emily, I told her she can't have it both ways. She gave up any right to ask me about my sex life…when she decided she didn't want to be apart of it. I saw the tears begin to escape and I took off. No Brenda…it wasn't ok for you to date other people but not me. You either want me…or you don't. But this does explain something. It doesn't seem Brenda has any intention of dating someone else. She is proving exactly why this whole break up even occurred. Brenda…is trying to be with me…at arms length. If she gives in and we become a full on couple again she knows it is only a matter of time before we become physical again. Maybe she isn't emotionally ready but I know Brenda loves me. She wouldn't be this jealous if she didn't…right? I can NOT believe her._

 _Dylan_

Eliot covered her mouth as she chuckled. Her mother the jealous type. She knew that feeling well. She had spent the last few weeks feeling just that. Hurt and jealousy which sometimes go hand in hand. Obviously her father didn't know how the fastest way possible to get under a girls skin, especially one you like…was to go out with someone else.

Brenda came in and twirled around, "How do I look?" She smiled and raised her eyebrows at her.

"Mom…you look incredible. Don't let dad see you in that. It will drive him crazy." Eliot smiled at her mom.

"That's the idea." Brenda laughed and moved into the bedroom further. "You reading?"

Eliot cleared her throat and nodded, "Yeah…about Emily Valentine." she chuckled.

Brenda laughed, "Oh man." she shook her head. "God I couldn't stand her. I just couldn't help it."

"Hey woman…the oven beeped, I took the casserole out to cool." His eyes glanced down at Brenda's plunging neckline. He whistled again, "Damn." he shook his head responding. "You look good enough to eat."

Brenda blushed and looked down embarrassed, "Dylan…stop." she said like a school girl.

"You do…babe. Doesn't she Eliot?"

"I'll leave that one to you to dad." Eliot shook her head.

"Where are you in the book?" Brenda asked curiously, changing the subject.

"Just dad's date and someone isn't very happy about it." Eliot looked back and forth between her parents. Brenda blushed again. She closed her eyes and shook her head, a little embarrassed.

"Ah…of course their date." Brenda said with attitude.

"Oh please." Dylan rolled his eyes. "Jealousy will get you everywhere."

Brenda opened her mouth to say, I'm not jealous but that was a big fat lie. "I can't even lie about it." she laughed, "I was jealous…I was insanely jealous. God I was mean to her."

"You were?" Eliot looked interested, this journal was one sided.

Dylan chucked at Brenda, "Oh my god El, what did I tell her?" Brenda thought hard. It was a long time ago. She laughed out loud, "I told her to have fun at the gynecologist." She laughed again.

"Wait really?" Dylan moved in further and sat on Eliot's bed beside her. "Why…when?" he laughed lightly.

Brenda kept her smile and rolled her eyes, "When we were all having lunch…she mentioned going to the doctor to get on the pill. So after I asked you what your intention was with her, I jumped to the conclusion that you were sleeping with her. So after making a comment about how all the guys were lining up for her, I told her to have fun at the gynecologist, which…if anyone has ever been…it's in no way or form fun." Brenda shook her head, "I don't even know why…I called her a slut behind her back, told her off practically at my parents house, in front of everyone."

"That I remember." Dylan smiled amused.

"It was not my finest hour." Brenda shrugged, "But…sorry…she couldn't have you." Brenda stared into Dylan's eyes. She smirked matching Dylan's expression and leaned in kissing his lips softly. Eliot smiled at her parents cuteness. "I know it was immature and rude but it made me realize one thing that was for sure." Brenda looked at Eliot, "I didn't want to see other people…and I didn't want your dad seeing other people too. I couldn't stand the thought of him with her." She shrugged shyly. "I knew she didn't love him…she didn't even know him." Dylan's arms came around Brenda's waist as he pulled her closer to him. "I loved him…I knew him better than any girl did. I missed him and what we had was real. It was much more than physical or lust. It was much more than my fears or what my parents were thinking. If I wanted him to be with only me. I had to be honest with him. Plus…you can't have your cake and eat it too. Lesson learned."

"It was a good lesson." Dylan agreed, happy memories of that time coming to the for front of his mind.

"Well…come down to dinner in 10. I'm gonna change out of this dress." Brenda got up and took Dylan's hand.

"Hey mom…what ever happened to Emily…were you ever friends?" Eliot asked curiously.

Dylan laughed out loud, Brenda smacked him in the gut. "Well….not really. Your uncle was sure fond of her." Brenda breathed out and looked at the ceiling. "Thank god he didn't marry her. She was a nut job."

Eliot pinched her brows together. "They went out?"

Dylan nodded, "Yeah…they did. I never really knew what Brandon saw in her."

Brenda looked at him, her eyebrows lifting, "The same thing you did probably." she threw at him.

Dylan's jaw dropped, "Oh come on it was one date."

"Hmm mmm." Brenda rolled her eyes showing her jealousy as she moved towards her bedroom.

"Oh Bren…come on…baby" he followed like a puppy dog after her.

Eliot giggled, looks like her mom was still the jealous type. I guess she got that from her. She watched her father saying god knows what to her mom as he followed her into the bedroom. She shook her head amused and decided she would read one last entry before heading down to dinner.

 _September 14, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well I learned a little bit about women. Ok more I learned a little bit more about Brenda. She is insanely jealous and her claws come out if you go out with their man. Woah. I saw a side of Brenda tonight I had never seen. She was caddy and mean. Rude even. She sure told off Emily. Part of me was disappointed, that she had acted the way she did but the other part of me…the bigger part of me that sees Brenda as this phenomenal girl, strong and opinionated. Sexy and confident that speaks her mind…it all stems down to the fact she loves me. She doesn't want me dating other people and the thought makes her insanely jealous. Its flattering weirdly. And the truth is, Brandon likes Emily He seems to really be into her and I'm not so much, I mean she's a cool girl but there wasn't sparks. He even asked me at school if I had slept with her. I warned him the next time he asked me about a girl I would get a free shot…the truth is…that isn't even worth it. If he is that crazy about her, more power to you Brando. Who am I to come in between those feelings? I sure as hell wouldn't like it if lets say Steve for instance was dating Bren. UGH hell no. The truth is I was trying to get back out there and my hearts with Brenda. I'm going to see if I can talk to her tomorrow at school. Maybe all this Emily crap made her realize she wants me back. It sure as hell made me realize that it isn't that easy to move on from her. Wish me luck. There is nothing that I want more than Brenda back. She's my girl…and now I know…I'm her man._

 _Dylan_

 _So next up, dinner this same night, some interesting dinner table conversation. The conclusion of Wild fire in the journals and on to if Brenda and Dylan take over where they left off season 2. The show couldn't tell the audience because of the crazy that surrounded it at the time but we all know they did take over where they left off without putting it out there. Also some Audrey and Eliot interaction and the fashion show. What about Kelly and Brandon, you found out a bit more about their separation. What are you guys thinking? Next chapter to post will be my London story so keep an eye out. Please please tell me what your feeling and thinking!_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 15**_

 _ **The Milk Is Never Free**_

Brenda carried the salad bowl to the table. She smiled as Eliot and Aidan sat next to one another. She watched them, they seemed closer. Seemed to be getting along well. She wondered if they were back together or maybe moving towards that direction anyway.

"Well…well…it's my handsome nephew. How you doing kid?" Nate came in all smiles still dressed from baseball. Brenda hugged him tightly, "You want to call your mom? Stay for dinner?" she looked up at him. He gently kissed her cheek.

"Hell yes he does…Aunt Kelly sucks at cooking." Byron added as he kissed the other side of Brenda's cheek.

"That wasn't very nice." Brenda smiled as she ruffled Byron's waves of brown hair.

"Aunt…it's actually true." Brenda giggled as she gently pushed him towards the table. "She knows…I told her already."

Brenda smiled looking around her table. She loved this. She loved when the kids came over. Here she had Eliot, Aidan, Nate and Byron all sitting around.

"Where's your dad?" Brenda noticed Dylan hadn't made it to the table yet.

"Did you tie him up for going on a date with Emily Valentine." Eliot joked.

"Ooooh kinky." Byron smiled but received a gentle smack to the back of his head from Brenda. "Wait who's Emily Valentine?" He asked curiously.

Brenda rolled her eyes as Dylan walked in. "God not this again."

"You never told me why Emily was so crazy?" Eliot passed the bread basket to Aidan and shyly smiled at him. Things had been weird with them. Nothing physical since the other night but still the sexual tension was evident…at least for them.

"Who is Emily?" Nate took a bite of the broccoli chicken casserole.

Brenda set her wine glass down as she took her seat. It was a wine with dinner kind of night after hearing about Kelly's journal. Even if she was the only one indulging.

"Emily Valentine was a girl we went to school with junior year. She dated your dad for a short time." Brenda added. "But they kept in touch through out the years."

"Was she hot?" Nate smiled and raised his eyebrows.

"God no." Brenda shook her head.

"She wasn't that bad." Dylan shook his head in which received a look from Brenda.

"You would know…wouldn't you?" Brenda joked.

Eliot busted out laughing, "Mom…you are hysterical. What other old girlfriends of dads makes you seething jealous?"

"Emily Valentine was not my girlfriend, she was Brandon's girlfriend." Dylan butted in.

Brenda took a long sip of her wine, "No comment." the tabled laughed.

Dylan leaned into Brenda and whispered, "My heart stopped and ended with you." No one heard but the blush that quickly spread over Brenda's face was not missed.

Nate watched them, he suddenly was saddened, "So Nate…what about you, are you dating anyone?"

Byron and Aidan both chuckled. "What? Do tell?" Brenda leaned in. "What's the newest West Beverly gossip?"

"There is no one Aunt." Nate shook his head, embarrassed by the attention.

"Nate you are one of the most handsome guys at that school…you're telling me no one sparks your attention?" Brenda was feeling brave from her wine.

"Hey…Hey thanks mom." Aidan and Byron both said out loud.

Brenda laughed, "I said one of…geez." the guys laughed and continued eating.

Nate shrugged, "I don't know." he said shy.

"Oh my god. I totally forgot." Brenda looked at Dylan as he was taking a bite. "Guess who is getting married next year?"

Dylan shrugged not having a clue, "Hannah."

"Zuckerman-Vasquez…your kidding?" Dylan smiled feeling old.

Nate choked on his bite of bread and coughed several times. Byron and Aidan laughed knowingly. "You ok?" Brenda gently patted Nate's back.

He nodded quickly as he glared at the guys. Brenda watched them, her eyes moving from boy to boy at their expressions. Her mouth dropped as she looked at Dylan.

He hadn't caught on. "You have got to be kidding me?" she said out loud. Aidan and Byron laughed harder. "You and Hannah?" Dylan stared at Nate shocked. "But she's…" old rang out in her mind but she wasn't really old, mid twenties by now.

"So illegal." Eliot finished her sentence.

"Wait…seriously?" Brenda turned her body towards Nate and smirked. How ironic? Andrea was in love with Brandon for years, they had come close to getting busy more than a few times and their children had hooked up?

Nate took a long sip of soda, "I'm not talking about this." he said after he swallowed.

"Wait…when?" Brenda smiled, this was good stuff.

"Bren." Dylan shook his head. "This is not good dinner conversation."

"I know…I know…I'm sorry." She smiled at her nephew, "Now it makes sense…you like older women." Nate rolled his eyes playfully. "Please don't date one of your teachers…remember Lucinda?" Brenda looked at Dylan and smiled. Nate coughed again.

"How could I forget?" Dylan shook his head with wide eyes.

Brenda laughed, "I heard about that." she giggled.

"Hey Nate, you know who asked me about you and if you were seeing someone?" Eliot changed the topic. "Samantha Fuller."

"Sam did?" Nate lifted an eyebrow.

"She's hot bro." Byron nodded. "She asks about you all the time, you should go for it."

"Who's Samantha?" Dylan asked interested.

"She's a cheerleader. She is not really my type." Nate explained.

"You have something against cheerleaders?" Brenda raised an eyebrow. Her herself was never a cheerleader but always kind of wanted to be, especially when she first started at West Beverly. That was before Kelly and Donna reminded her how uncool it was.

"No…she's cute…just…"

"She's easy." Eliot finished.

"El?" Dylan looked at her. A small murmured sorry came from his daughter.

Nate chuckled, "She just isn't someone I would date."

"I understand." Dylan nodded, say no more.

"Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free." Byron added.

"I hate that saying." Brenda shook her head. "But there is some truth to it sadly."

"What do you mean?" Eliot looked at her mother.

Brenda shrugged and looked at Dylan before looking back at her daughter, "Well I get it. Why would a guy commit to a girl if he gets the benefits of the committed relationship without it?"

Eliot looks down and swallows hard.

Brenda continues, "But I hate it because it puts so much stress on sex and teaches women that sex can be used as a weapon, plus it shames girls who may be more open sexually."

Byron smiles, "Samantha is more open sexually."

"Like Pamela Davis?" Eliot raises her eyebrows and Byron blushes red.

Dylan rolls his eyes and Brenda shakes her head, _not this again_.

Dylan puts his two cents in, "In all honesty, the truth is, if a guy wants to commit to, or stay with, a girl, he knows it; and he wants to do so because of who she is as a person, not just because of what happens in the bedroom. There's more there; she has that inexplicable it-factor that separates her from the herd, and no…not meaning she is a cow." Dylan shakes his head, not liking that analogy either. "If he is only looking for something that involves casual sex, he's not buying anything. For metaphorical purposes, the cost of milk is meaningless. If he likes the cow, he'll buy the cow; plain and simple."

Eliot looks at Aidan. His eyes take her in tilting his head to the side. In that moment she is regretting giving him the milk.

"Well there is no shame in being sexually open, but sometimes guys don't want to try the milk that everyone in school has tried." Nate adds.

The kids laugh a little, Brenda and Dylan chuckle. "That's true too." Brenda takes a sip of her wine. She looks at her daughter, studies her. All of a sudden her demeanor changed. She doesn't want her daughter to think sex is shameful.

"Sex isn't bad." Brenda adds.

"At your guys age…it is." Dylan smiles chewing his food.

Brenda shakes her head with a laugh. "If two people are in love, and committed…sex can be a positive expression of that love as long as your responsible." She emphasizes. "It comes down to this though, no healthy, long-lasting relationship is built around sex. Not one. Sex is one small piece of the pie chart that is your relationship with another. The sex could be great, or often, or both, but if other, bigger slices aren't there, your relationship will never survive."

"Nicely put Bren." Dylan smiles at her. "You are 100% correct."

"I know honey." Brenda says proud which causes a laugh from Dylan.

The teens are silent for a moment taking in what was just said. Eliot feels that way about Aidan. The sex is good, well she doesn't have anything to compare it too but she enjoys it. It is obvious he does too. But they are so much more that that. He is her best friend.

"So dad…is that what you did with mom…you liked the milk and the cow so much you wanted to marry her?" Byron smiles wide being a true smart ass.

"No…I married your mother just for sex." Dylan jokes, the kids lightheartedly laugh out loud as Brenda smacks Dylan's arm hard. "I'm kidding." Dylan laughs at his own joke. He leans in and kisses behind her ear and again down her neck.

"Dylan?" it's the first time Aidan has spoke really. Dylan stops the kisses and looks at Aidan "What were you and Brenda like as teenagers?" They look at each other.

"I don't even want to know…if it's anything like on how they act as adults." Byron bites his bread roughly.

"No…like as a group of friends?"

"Um…Like you guys I guess. Our group was very close, much like all of you are. It was like a second family. We all had our ups and downs. We kind of all dated each other off and on, that wasn't a smart idea. But everything ended up as it should."

"Not my parents." Nate moves his food around his plate.

Brenda takes a deep sad breath as she looks over at her nephew. "Oh Nate." she breathes. "It's hard I know. It's hard on all of us."

Dylan looks at his nephew, guilt riddles him even though it is not his fault. The triangle stuff was one thing when they were younger but now there are kids involved. _What was Kelly thinking?_ Dylan knew deep down in his heart, whatever Brandon read was more on the recent side, whether it was after Donna and David got married, more recently? Dylan knew Brandon well enough to know, this wasn't past stuff. He wasn't one to dwell on the past.

"Your parents are at an impasse. They need to talk…and they will." Brenda nodded truly believing it.

Nate leaned in and gently kisses his beloved aunt on the cheek, "Thanks for dinner. I'm going to head home. Thanks uncle Dylan." he gets up sadly.

"Anytime bud." Dylan nods. They all watch Nate leave the table.

"I'll be back." Brenda tosses her napkin on the table and follows her nephew out. "Nate…wait sweetie."

Nate exhales and turns around, "Auntie…it's fine."

Brenda frowns, "It's not fine. You can talk to me…Dylan…we're here for you." her hand comes gently to his shoulder.

Tears fill his eyes and he wipes them quickly not wanting to show his emotions regarding this. "I just don't get it. Why now? They were together for so long and now they spilt up? This has been a shit year aunt. Is my whole life a big lie? Were they ever good together?"

Brenda takes a step closer, "Your parents were amazing together. Your life is NOT a lie Nate. Your mom and dad have beautiful long loving history together."

"Then why?" Nate turns around upset, "It doesn't matter." he moves to the living room couch and plops down on it. Brenda follows him and sits next to him. "He's with Katie…my mom is alone…this sucks."

Nate is bigger than her, she wraps her arm around her nephew as he sets his head on her shoulder awkwardly because of his height. Kelly and Brandon are not tall people, they aren't sure where he gets it from. "It does suck Nate. Sometimes these things happen and you just can't explain it. Katie and your dad aren't serious."

Nate looks up and into her eyes, "You don't think?" he asks hopeful.

Brenda shakes her head and smiles sadly, "Remember when we were chatting in there about sex and relationships." Nate nods.

"When you get older…after being in a serious committed 15 year relationship, like your parents, the last thing you are looking for is heavy. Katie is new and fun…she's easy."

Nate's eyes widen, "No…not that kind of easy." Brenda's shakes her head. _Boys_

"My brother…your dad…he's finding companionship in Katie for now. But like I said, it isn't meaningful…especially when his heart belongs to someone else." Brenda exhales, "Look Nate, I can't tell you if your parents are going to work it out. I can't tell you if they are truly meant to be but I can tell you…with certainty that your dad does and will always love your mom."

Dylan walks into the living room. His hands are in his pockets as he observes the two. He smiles at their moment and moves into the living room deeper. He sits in the chair across from them and leans his elbows onto his knees. "Your parents were great together. There is a stable…safe supportive foundation there. Very loving and very adult. Your dad has been in love with Kelly Taylor." Dylan smiles, "Since we were not much older than you. Maybe even before that, not to his full knowledge anyway. If this is bothering you as much as it seems. You should sit them both down. Talk to them. Because in all honesty Nate, communication is lacking and maybe if they knew how hard this is for you…maybe it would open the doors to talking again? Your parents were friends before they were together. That doesn't go away."

Nate looks down thinking. He nods agreeing. "Besides…you can't leave now…I made chocolate mousse pie form dessert." Brenda grins widely.

Nate smiles back, "Say no more, thanks love you guys." he gets up and goes back into the dining room.

Brenda looks at Dylan frowning, "I know." he reads her thoughts and moves next to her. This is heartbreaking. He cuddles her into him as Brenda rests her head on his chest.

"I think it's safe to say…Both Kelly and Brandon…need to talk about this. If not for the sake of themselves, for their kids." Dylan says quietly.

"Yeah…and remove the stick out of both their asses." Dylan chuckles, leave it to Brenda to get straight to the point. He lightly kisses the top of her head. Brenda turns her head upward to look into Dylan's eyes, "Thank you."

Dylan smiles, "For?"

"For choosing me." Brenda leans up and kisses him deeply. Her tongue glides effortless against his. Their foreheads rest comfortably together.

"Baby…there is no competition." Dylan whispers. Brenda pulls away. Her smirk turns into a wide grin.

Her face gets closer to his again. "Good answer." she breaths, Dylan smiles against her lips as she leans in and kisses him passionately again.

 _September 15, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Today was the best day. It was hello day at school. Brenda, Donna, Kelly and Emily did a number. They sang breaking up is hard to do. They had originally planned to do a Robert Palmer song, so the girls were dressed like the girls in the video. I couldn't tell you what Kelly and Donna looked like but Brenda…looked hot as hell! Her lips were dark red, her dark hair was slicked back and in some sort of bun thing. She had a tight short black dress on. She looked good enough to eat and I did just that. As she danced and sang up on that stage. Every cell in my body reacted to her. Physically hell yes but my heart was overwhelmed. She was a phenomenal woman…inside and out and I decided at that point I would say and do anything to get her back. Our story was far from over. I approached her after the show. I watched her as she talked with Emily. As she made her way over to me, I didn't have to say or do much. She told me she thought we should talk. I nodded and suggested she let me take her out tonight. She accepted. I took her to the point. Yes I hoped we could do a little kissing but it was a private place to talk. As Wicked Game played on my car stereo. I listened to her apologize to me. It really wasn't necessary. She wants to start over, my question for her was from where, the beginning? The middle? Where we left off? She said she didn't know. She said that after everything that she had gone through, it came down to being scared and that she needed time to think things out. I wondered what she came up with, she said that she misses me and she needs me, that what we have is much more than just physical. I was never with Brenda because of that. Yes sex with her was great but I knew what we had was more. That is just one part of the pie. I told her that I was there because I loved her and she loves me too. I felt like it was a good time to explain about Emily. If we were going to start over, honesty is an important piece of that pie as well. I told her that nothing happened. I knew at the time when she approached me at school that I wasn't honest with her. I was so angry with her that I told her it wasn't her business and in turn that made her think I had been with her. I admitted kissing her but Brenda didn't get angry with me, she shook her head and said I was right at school to tell her it wasn't her business. I didn't fully agree with that but I didn't say anything. She said she was sorry…sorry for everything she had put me through, I stopped her. Whatever it took Brenda to get to this point…was worth it. I missed her…I missed that. Our talks, our private moments no one else knew about. We sort of took over where we left off. I mean no we didn't do it or anything but those feelings and that intensity is still very present between us. At this point…wherever Brenda wants to take over from, is fine by me because the one thing I'm sure of is I love this girl. I don't want to be without her. She is too special, things are too good between us. We will have the sex talk again I'm sure. Once you go there…it's never far from your mind. But it will be her decision because as of now…I'm just glad to have her back. Brenda and Dylan are back together. It's about damn time!_

 _Dylan_

"Eliot?" Aidan leans against her doorframe.

"Oh my god my parents are so friggin cute." Eliot closes the book and looks at him.

Aidan chuckles and walks into her room, "Can we talk?"

"Sure. What's up?"

Aidan looks towards Brenda and Dylan's door, its closed thankfully. "Um…I guess I wanted to see where you were in this?" his hand goes back and forth between them, "About us."

Eliot exhales, Aidan continues, "The other night was amazing and even though I don't regret it, I kind of wish it didn't happen."

Eliot looks at him surprised, "Why?" she asks fairly hurt.

"No…it's not that…just Eliot…I love you. I want to be with you and that night just made me miss you more."

"Aidan…I'm just…not ready okay? I don't regret it either but it can't happen again. Not until we are for sure back together. You and Audrey hurt me pretty bad, it's going to take some time to be able to trust you again."

Aidan nodded sadly, he exhales, "Okay." he gives her a sad smile. His phone at that moment beeps from his pocket. He takes it out and looks down at the faceplate. He grunts annoyed.

"Who is that?" Eliot asks interested.

He looks at her and rolls his eyes. He scratches his head uncomfortably, "Liz Olson."

Eliot eyes get wide, "Why is Liz texting you?"

Aidan looks at her, he's nervous, "It's nothing." he shakes his head.

Eliot clears her throat, "Ah hello…trust?"

Aidan sighs, "Liz….asked me if we were still broken up today." Aidan shrugged, "When I told her yes…she asked if I wanted to maybe go out sometime. I said no. I mean…Liz is cool but I just told her I wasn't ready." Aidan pursed his lips together, "Don't be mad."

"Liz…asked you out?" _OH HELL NO_. She was one of the prettiest girls in school. She was sweet and caring. She was the president of the student body and she also had the best one on campus. It was hard to hate Liz…but Eliot wasn't having trouble at the moment.

"El…I said no." he saw the annoyance in her eyes.

"So." Eliot shrugged nonchalantly, "What did she want now?"

"What pages we were suppose to read for history." Aidan shrugged.

"Yeah right." Eliot barked out a huff of a laugh.

"I'm going to go look up those pages and write her back." He kissed her cheek and got up off her bed.

"Wait…Aidan, your going to text her back?"

Aidan chuckled, "It's just a homework question El…are you jealous?" Aidan smirks now from in her doorway. That wasn't his intention but he wasn't going to lie and say it wasn't nice it effected her.

"Pssh…I'm not jealous. Of Liz? Please." She didn't even believe her own words.

Aidan walked closer to Eliot again, "Well good." He leaned in and kissed her forehead, "Night El." he uttered as his phone chirped again. Eliot watched him look down at it and start texting back. He walked out of her room and down the hall.

She fell dramatically onto her back. _This can NOT be happening?_ She bites her lip thinking. _Fucking Liz…shit!_ She was totally his type. Petite and brunette. She had bright blue eyes and dimples. She got voted Spring Queen last year. Everybody loved Liz. She huffed getting up from her bed and waltzed into Byron's room.

"You got a second?" She leaned against his doorway.

He clicked off Sports Center and sat up in his bed, "For you…always." he smiled. "What's up…step into my office."

Eliot smiled and exhaled as she closed Byron's door. She climbed into Byron's bed and sat next to him. Their shoulders hitting one another.

"What do you think of Liz Olson?"

Byron's eyes got wide, "Ah…Liz is cool."

"No I mean…like as a girl…and you as a boy."

"This sounds like a trick question, did Emma put you up to this?"

"Emma? No." Eliot shook her head. "No between us? What do you think?" Byron looked at his sister. She looked serious and it didn't look like she was trying to get him into trouble.

"Well…Liz is pretty…she's popular…she's sweet. She is the whole package I guess." Byron was honest. "Why do you ask?"

"If you weren't with Emma…let's say you were taking a break…and Liz asked you on a date…would you accept?"

Byron laughed, "Ok now I know you are trying to get me into trouble."

"By…I'm serious…just between us?"

"Honestly? Probably. I mean…if Emma and I were broken up and for some reason she didn't want to get back together and Liz asked, Sure…I probably would accept." Eliot sighed. "I mean she is attractive, sexy even. She's smart…she isn't easy. She is a good catch. Why not?" he finished.

"Great." Eliot breathed.

"What's this about?" He turned to his twin and looked at her.

She breathed out, she cleared her throat, "I slept with Aidan. Like the other night here…in the house."

"You did what?" his eyes got wide. He sits quiet as a smirk spreads across his face. "Mom and dad would kill you. I know…I've been on the other side of that one. What does it mean…are you back together and what does this have to do with Liz?"

Eliot swallowed hard, "That's the thing, we aren't back together it just happened. And he wants to be and I'm just not ready. But Liz asked him out on a date, I mean he said no but they are texting each other and…"

Byron stops her, "Calm down. Take a breath."

Eliot takes a deep needed breath, she continues. "What if while I'm trying to figure this stuff out with Aidan…he falls for someone else? I mean if Liz likes him. What's stopping him from just accepting, I mean why not right? You said so yourself?"

Byron smiles at his sister, "Eliot your forgetting one major thing…he said no. Aidan might be many things but stupid isn't one of them. If he is serious about getting you back, he isn't going to go out with someone else?"

"But By why not? I went out with Stevie…I won't take him back…I mean he should say yes. Aidan is a great guy…Audrey shit aside…he deserves to be happy too."

Byron leans his back against his headboard, "I guess your right."

"I'm right?" Eliot says loudly, "You are suppose to tell me I'm wrong."

Byron laughs at her, "You're crazy." he shakes his head. "I mean your right…he does deserve to be happy but I think the only thing that will make him happy is being back with you. I guess you have to decide if the risk of losing him is worth it. Because the truth is Eliot. If you guys aren't together…Aidan is free to go out with whomever he wants."

Eliot stares at her brother and sighs. _He's right. S_ he nods absentmindedly thinking.

"Thanks By." Eliot says sadly and gets up out of his bed.

"El?" she turns around as her hand comes to his bedroom door. "I don't think Aidan is going to accept her advances. But…maybe you should think about how you want the rest of the year to go. I know what he did with Audrey was messed up but…he seems sincere in his apologies and he is crazy about you. I also know that if mentally, as a guy he thinks that you and him are for sure done…there won't be much to stop him from exploring other possibilities. I'm just being honest."

Eliot nodded, "I know, I just don't know if I can trust him again."

"Well…El…you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't not want to be with Aidan…but then expect him to be devoted to you."

Eliot nodded again, thinking about the journal and what her mother said. _Lesson learned,_ She had said. "Thanks." she murmured.

"And El…don't give the milk away for free, that shit is never free…expectation always comes from sex." Byron smiles.

Eliot laughed and nodded. "Yeah…yeah…goodnight dad." Eliot made her way back into her bedroom as she heard her brother chuckle. She watched Aidan walk from the bathroom into his bedroom still texting into his phone. I guess she had some thinking to do.

Brandon reached for another beer. He brought it to his lips and took a much needed sip. His condo was so quiet when the kids weren't here. Usually if it wasn't his weekend Katie would stay over but since she was out of town. The silence wasn't welcoming. His head turned towards a soft knock at his front door. He set down his beer and walked towards it. He wasn't expecting anyone. As he looked through the peep hole he smiled.

He opened the door, "Well…well…this is a welcome surprise."

Valerie held up two six packs of Brandon's favorite beer, "Want to get drunk?"

Brandon laughed, "Hell yes, come in." he opened the door further as Valerie walked through. She went into his kitchen and stashed the the six packs into the fridge, taking one out for herself. She used the bottle opener that was already on the counter and eyed his already opened beer, "You started without me."

"Been a long day."

"Yeah…every time I come to LA for a visit, I wonder why I torture myself." Valerie took a swig of beer.

"What's the matter Val…or do I even want to know?" Brandon smiles knowing her all too well.

"I'll tell you if you tell me." She smiles back.

"Is that like I'll show you mine…if you show me yours?" Brandon lifts his eyebrows and Valerie laughs out loud. Silence fills the kitchen.

"What happened with Kelly Bran?" Valerie's face serious.

Brandon exhales loudly, "You were right Val…you were always trying to tell me."

Valerie's eyes widen, "I was right…well that's a first."

Brandon chuckles, and shakes his head, "You were right about Kelly."

Valerie moves closer to him, "What are you talking about?"

"You're turn, what's got you drinking beer on a Friday night, with me?"

Valerie breathes out, "Every time I come here I realize how behind I am. Everyone is married…they have kids…they are settled. What do I have? A career I'm married too? A lonely apartment?"

"Well Val…I've been to your apartment…its pretty freaking nice. You have nothing holding you down. You go out, have friends, have money…you live in New York city. You're successful." Brandon adds.

"True…but what's the point of all this success if you can't share it with someone?" Brandon looks down thinking. She does have a point. "Every time I come here…I wonder what it would be like if I never left. I look at David and Donna and their beautiful family." Valerie shrugs sadly, "I don't know if it was worth it…and now…its too late." She shrugs sadly.

"Well…I mean Val." Brandon says uncomfortably. He knows deep in his heart Valerie will always love David. It must be tough seeing the life they've built.

"No…I know Bran…it's not just David. It's everything. It's just tough. Its a constant reminder of what I don't have."

Brandon takes a deep breath and nods, he gets it. "So…your turn." she eyes him, she takes a sip of beer and urges him to do the same. Brandon take a deep breath and takes a long sip. It is easier to talk to Valerie about this over Dylan and Brenda…just the simple fact that they are indirectly involved causes friction.

"I think Kelly is still in love with Dylan. I know original right?" Brandon shakes his head, "Thats what I meant when I said you were right. I don't know how many times you told me this exact fact and I just ignored you."

"Kelly and Dylan? No way." Valerie shakes her head.

"Are you sticking up for Kelly?" Brandon smiles and his eyes widen in surprise. .

"God no." Laughs Valerie, "I just don't think your right."

"She does…I'm not going to give details but let's say, I saw with my own eyes."

"Are you fucking kidding me? What about Brenda?" Valerie is angry now. "That sneaky bi…"

"No…no…they didn't do anything. Dylan is so far up my sisters ass its ridiculous."

Valerie nodded, "Somethings never change." she jokes.

"Look Brandon, I don't know what it is that you know. Obviously you thought it out. Maybe you and Kelly were not meant to be. Who fucking knows anymore." Valerie shakes her head. She's given up trying to understand. "So…what are your plans this weekend?" she tries to change the subject.

Brandon grunts, "I have the mother/daughter fashion show tomorrow night…in which Kelly is chairing. Katie…the girl i'm seeing is in San Fran and I have to go by myself. Don't remind me."

Valerie laughs, "We are quite the pair Bran." Valerie shakes her head.

"Why don't you be my date, come with me? Bren will be there…Dylan. They have open bar." he tries to make it sound worth wild.

"What about Kelly? Amends aside…she will not like me as your date…even if you and me are like brother and sister."

"Who cares about Kelly."

Valerie eyes widen, "Woah Brandon…Brother or not…you are hot right now." she jokes.

Brandon laughs hard, "Come on Val…be my date? Please at least I know we'll have fun." he pleads with his eyes. He really doesn't want to go alone.

Valerie shrugs, "What the hell? Any excuse to buy a new dress." She steps closer to Brandon as they clink their beers together. They watch each other while they take a long sip. This should be interesting.

 _Ok so the fashion show didn't make it into this chapter. Definitely will be next. Also more journals…what will Kelly think about those two coming together? What interaction with Audrey and Eliot have? What will she do about Aidan? Should Aidan try dating? Give it to me straight peeps! Review! Yes I'm working on my other fics, I love your loyalty. You guys are the SHIT! PS Yes you will find out more about those Kelly entries. That storyline is soo not done! We do get some Brandon and Kelly interaction at the fashion show. wink wink._


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 16**_

 _ **Walk Of Shame**_

Brenda moved around her room gathering articles of clothing in her bathrobe, her long just blown dry and straightened hair laying smoothly against her back. She laid Dylan's suit on the bed as she heard the shower shut off. She looked at two ties, debating which would look better, she held them up. She felt wet kisses on her neck as the scent of clean showered Dylan filled her senses.

"Which tie?" she held them up again. Dylan continued to feast on her neck.

"The blueish green one." he murmured.

Brenda turned towards him, "You think? You like it better than the burgundy one?"

Dylan smirked holding his towel around his waist. "Yes…it matches your eyes." he leaned in and kissed her nose softly. He affixed the towel safely so it would stay on his hips without help and moved towards their dresser. He opened up the top draw reaching for a pair of boxers and dress socks. Brenda watched him, her eyes feasted on his muscular back. He turned slightly tossing the articles on the bed. Her eyes followed down his chest, light chest hair dusted it, a happy trail leading to the V that led to heaven. His towel set low on his thin frame, a tiny start of pubic hair shown at the top. Brenda licked her lips, she was proudly gawking at her husband. Dylan's eyes found hers. He smirked and shook his head.

"Don't you dare look at me like that. You declined to join me in the shower because, we can't be late." he mimicked her tone.

Brenda shrugged shyly, "Well…maybe we have a little bit of time."

Dylan stared at her for a moment, then he moved quickly, his arms wrapped around her lifting her, his wrists holding her against him under her butt. He kissed her roughly as Brenda's arms met tightly around his neck. She moaned as he deepened the kiss. Dylan held Brenda still off the ground as he walked over to their bedroom door. He turned the lock locking them inside. As Brenda's feet hit the ground. Dylan kissed her eagerly reaching for the tie on her robe. He roughly opened it revealing a naked Brenda. She reached for his towel and soon in spooled at their feet. Dylan turned her slightly lowering her to the bed. Dylan's dress shoes thumping to the floor. He kissed down her chest, paying undivided attention to both breasts.

"We have to be quick." Brenda breathed out impatiently, this wasn't going to be slow and easy, she wanted fast and rough.

Dylan looked down at his wife, hooded lustful lids staring at her. He smirked understanding and raised his eye brow, "You asked for it." with a rough swift push, he was inside her.

Brenda gripped Dylan's hand in hers tightly, they walked quickly through the hotel lobby, "I can not believe how late we are." Brenda breathed. Dylan smirked proudly knowing why. As they moved quickly to the ballroom they smacked into Brandon and Valerie. Both grabbing drinks from the bar.

Brenda stopped in her tracks, "Valerie! What are you doing here?" she smiled and let go of Dylan's hand to properly hug her long time friend.

"Oh you know me…any excuse to dress up." Brenda laughed, "Brandon asked me to come." Valerie tilted her head towards him.

Brenda smiled knowing. She reached around Brandon and gave him a friendly hug, "You didn't want to come alone did you?" she whispered.

Brandon chuckled loosing his grip on his sister and nodded, "You know me well." Brandon then greeted Dylan with a handshake and Valerie pulled Dylan into a tight hug.

Brenda looked past them nervously, "Crap…I'm so late."

"Yeah…we saw Byron, Aidan and Nate a minute ago, they said they saved us a table. Eliot and Alyssa went to the dressing room already." Brandon chimed in.

Valerie's eyes swept down Brenda with a smirk, "Late start Bren?" she smiled knowingly. Dylan smirked guilty "You have that freshly fucked look." Valerie joked. Brandon choked on his cocktail, Dylan chuckled quietly and Brenda rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"No comment. Babe I'm going to go find Kel and Don." Brenda moved her hand to Dylan's cheek kissing the opposite side quickly and took off.

Valerie smiled at Dylan and winked, she knew she guessed right. "You're a lucky son of a bitch McKay, it's good to be home, you two never change." she entwined her arm with his and her other with Brandon.

Dylan gently pecked the side of Valerie's head, "It's always good to have you home Val."

The three of them made it into the ballroom with linked arms, Dylan spotted the boys and led them to the table. They took their seats, he watched Brandon glance towards the stage. Kelly was talking to what looked like an hotel employee, she looked swamped. Brandon looked away from her and into his drink. He brought the cup to his lips, tossed his head back and downed it.

"You guys want a drink?" Brandon started to get up.

Valerie looked at her full cocktail and shook her head, "I'm good." she answered and continued greeting the overly attentive teenagers.

Dylan smirked with a shake of his head, the teens were fawning over Valerie like they usually did. He understood it. He'd been there. Valerie was a sexy beautiful woman. Dylan decided to head to the bar with Brandon.

He caught up with him easily, he watched Brandon shoot back a shot and then order another cocktail.

Dylan chuckled, "You might want to slow down there man…we are at a school function. Don't pull a Donna Martin graduates brother." he joked.

Brandon laughed, "I know…sorry. This whole thing with Kelly. It's trying Dylan."

Dylan nodded slowly and ordered a scotch. "You know last night Bren and me had a conversation with Nate. He was upset and honestly Bran…I hadn't seen my nephew like that before. He's taking the split harder than maybe we all realized." Dylan came out and said it.

Brandon looked at him, worry in his eyes, "Is he ok?"

Dylan shrugged, "I don't think he is. We told him that he should talk to you about it and Kelly. I mean we told him we are always here for him. I love Nate like my own son but it was heartbreaking Bran. He doesn't understand."

Brandon exhaled and took a sip of his cocktail. "I don't know how to explain it to them. Both Nate and Alyssa. How do you be honest about this kind of thing? It opens up doors we all don't want our kids knowing."

"Remember when I was staying with you, a long time ago…at your parents? You found my journal?"

"Yeah." Brandon remembered. "I didn't read it man…I swear." Brandon smiled remembering their argument about it.

Dylan chuckled, "I know man…well when Brenda was pregnant with the twins, I made it into a novel for her. I started that journal when I was 16 years old…and continued to write in it as the years went on. I wanted her to know that no matter what happened in my life, she was always on my mind…in my heart. I wanted her to know I was ready to support her. Be a part of the twins lives. I gave it to her as a gift before we got married."

Brandon smirked and playfully rolled his eyes. "You would." he commented, knowing his brother in law was always cool and collected but had a romantic side his sister fawned over.

Dylan smirked a little embarrassed, "Eliot found it. She is reading it. I wasn't all that keen on my daughter knowing so much of my personal life but after discussing it with Bren, we decided to let her in on our past."

"Woah wait…you mean…Eliot knows about Kelly…Toni?" Brandon said shocked.

Dylan sipped his drink, "She knows about Kelly. We talked about it. It was weird for her but okay. Toni…well we'll see about that. Not sure how she is going to react to the fact her old man was married before." Brandon eye brows raised as the guys looked at each other, both thinking it probably won't go over that well. "What I'm trying to say Bran is maybe being honest with the kids to a point isn't a bad thing, we're human, things happen, they will love us the same."

"I don't think that's a good idea man." Brandon shook his head.

"I'm not saying to tell them what you told us, about the journals. I'm saying sitting them down and discussing what's going on is not a bad thing." Dylan turned towards the table to watch the teens still flirting with Valerie. He chuckled and shook his head. Brandon followed and smiled.

"It's hard to explain to the kids what's going on when I don't even know myself." Brandon got serious.

Dylan took a deep breath, "Well brother…it might be time to figure that part out."

Brandon took a deep breath. He took a long sip of his cocktail as his attention moved towards the stage. Kelly looked beautiful in her red gown, her hair shoulder length with soft waves in it. She had red lipstick and dark smokey eyes. She looked phenomenal as usual and Brandon couldn't help but stare. Brandon felt Dylan clasp his hand on his shoulder, taking his attention away from his ex. Their eyes met in a unspoken brotherly understanding as they made their way back to the table. He knew Dylan was right. Which he usually was. Brandon wasn't that used to being the one getting the advice and not giving it, especially to Dylan. The last thing he wanted was to hurt his kids. He knew he had to talk to Kelly. Figure things out. The whole thought made him more anxious so he continued to drink.

The fashion show had been a success. With Donna, Brenda and Kelly all taking turns Mcing the event it went along without any problems. The girls looked beautiful and everything that the girls had worn was for sale. They hadn't received any final numbers but the fund raiser was so far turning out to be one of the biggest the school had every seen. Brenda, Kelly and Donna hugged each other.

"Way to go ladies. We did it!." Donna smiled big and proud they were able to pull off such a successful year.

"I know…all the hard work seemed to have paid off. Thank god." Brenda chimed in.

"Right…I have been so stressed. But." Kelly smiled looking back and forth between the girls, "It's been nice working so closely with you two. Life gets so crazy…I miss you guys." Kelly said sadly.

"Awww." Brenda and Donna said at the same time as all three girls giggled.

Well…well ladies." Dylan smiled as he walked up with David. Brandon was there too as he hung back. "Awesome job…you all look incredible and everything turned out amazing." Dylan set his arm tightly around Brenda's waist and kissed her temple. David pecked Donna on the lips softly and gave her a hug. He whispered something that made Donna blush and giggle. Kelly swallowed hard making eye contact with Brandon.

"Well thank you." Brenda smiled as she wrapped both arms around Dylan's mid section. "Now that I don't have to talk into a microphone anymore…why don't you, my handsome husband buy your exhausted wife a drink?" Brenda smiled up at him. She batted her long eyelashes at him with a smirk.

"Yes Ma'am." Dylan leaned in kissing her softly. "You guys want to join?" Dylan turned his attention to Donna, David, Brandon then Kelly.

A relay of sure's came out of them but as they began to walk towards the bar Brandon gently clasped his hand on Kelly's arm pulling her back a little. "Can we talk for a minute?" he said low but the 2 married couples looked at him hearing him clearly.

Brenda looked at Dylan, worry in her eyes then at Donna, both girls then looked at Kelly.

"Um…sure." Kelly said softly. "I'll meet you guys at the bar."

Donna and Brenda nodded nervously, as they made their way towards the bar, leaving them to talk in private.

"You want to sit?" Brandon sighed reaching his hand towards the near by chair. Kelly nodded nervously and sat, watching Brandon join her.

"Is everything okay?" she asked hesitantly.

"I just think it's time we talked about what's next? What were doing? Figure it out so we can have a conversation with the kids. Dylan said Nate talked to him and Bren, and he isn't doing well." Brandon swallowed hard looking towards Nate. Nate was smiling talking with the guys. Kelly followed his look as she took a deep breath. Her eyes met Brandon's, he was staring at her. His eyes glassy from the drinks he consumed.

"So…what are you thinking?" Kelly stared back.

"I've been thinking…just…how we are at this stand still. Not going back…not going forward, I think its time maybe we did a little of both." Brandon took a deep breath. Kelly reached for his hand. Brandon took it tightly.

"Let's go back Brandon." Kelly whispered. Her heart aching to be with him again.

Brandon swallowed hard, that's not what he had meant. "I mean…" Brandon let go of her hand. "I was going to set up a meeting with Lloyd Marshall, talk about moving forward with the divorce, then I thought we could come up with a game plan to talk with the kids." He looked at her.

"Oh." Kelly's voice broke. She looked down. "Um." tears filled her eyes. "Uh." She couldn't get her thoughts together. Her eyes closed. "Excuse me." she whispered getting up quickly. She found herself actually running a little. Brandon cursed under his breath. "Shit." He looked up to see a disappointed look from both Brenda and Dylan. He looked at Donna…then David the same expressions matched their faces. Mad at himself he looked towards Kelly's fleeting back. He got up and ran after her.

"Kelly." he called out.

"Just leave me alone Brandon." she continued in the direction of her car tearfully.

"Kelly wait." He reached for her hand pulling her back. "Please wait." he begged.

Kelly broke down, "I don't know what you…want me to say." she tried to get out.

"I just think this in between is making it harder on the kids." He tried to explain.

Kelly shook her head crying openly. Black mascara lines streamed her face. "Kelly I'm sorry." Brandon being a little drunk was getting emotional just looking at her fall apart so openly. His hands came to her arms, this wasn't the plan, this wasn't what he wanted when he asked to talk with her. "Kelly look at me." tears filled his eyes as well as her teary eyes stared back at his. After a moment of silence coming from him, she tried to break free, pulling roughly from his hold on her arms. She needed to leave this scene where she could fall apart in the privacy of her home. "Let me go." she cried. "I can't do this right now."

"Kelly…Kel." Brandon begged. His hands came to her face. He looked into her eyes. Kelly's tearful bright blue eyes staring back at his. Alcohol consuming his thoughts and right and wrong. He didn't want to hurt her, even though he had been hurt by her many times. He leaned in taking her lips to his forcibly. His arms winding from her face around her mid section tightly. Kelly kissed back hungrily. A quiet moan of need breathing into his eager mouth. His breath tasted of booze and Brandon. Her head went blank a she reveled in the moment. Feeling his lips on hers again, after so long. Kelly hadn't kissed or been with anyone since they spilt up and she had dreamed of this moment too many times to count. Brandon's tongue licked her upper lip gently as he slowed the kiss. Butterflies filled Kelly's belly at being close to him again.

"What are you doing…Brandon?" Kelly whispered against his lips.

"I don't know." he answered truthfully, "Drive me home Kel?" he stayed close to her. His forehead against hers. Taking in her scent, her taste, their closeness.

Kelly pulled away a tiny bit and looked at him. "Which home?" she whispered.

Brandon looked into her eyes, "home." he emphasized, whispering back. "Our home."

The teens made their way out of the hotel laughing and carrying on, agreeing to make a PeachPit stop for dessert before they all had to be home. They all stopped in their tracks witnessing the tail end of Brandon and Kelly's kiss. Nate crossed his arms looking across the parking lot. Alyssa, his sister stood close to him. Eliot, Aidan, Byron and Emma all watched in shock as Kelly got into the drivers side of her BMW SUV as Brandon got in the passenger side. They backed out of the spot effortlessly not seeing they had an audience as they drove away.

"What does this mean?" Alyssa whispered to her brother hopeful.

He stood silent for a beat and wrapped his arm tightly around his sister, "I don't know Al…I don't know." he was being honest. Part of him was happy. To see his mom and dad like they used to be. Kissing and together, then there was another part that worried it wasn't as it looked.

"Should we go home…and see? Maybe they worked it out? Maybe daddy is coming home?" Alyssa said louder now. The gang quiet not understanding what they had seen either.

"No…No Al…let's go to the pit…anywhere else but home. Maybe mom is just giving dad a ride. Maybe it means nothing." he said harsher than he meant. "I don't want to go home at all…I don't want to know." he said, his voice breaking at the end.

"I'm sure my parents wouldn't care if you guys stayed over. My mom still has left over chocolate mousse pie." Eliot said as her hand came to her cousin's shoulder. She knew and could sense Nate really didn't want to go to the pit either.

Nate and Alyssa looked at Eliot who gave them a tentative smile. Byron nodded confirming to come over. They'd stay up with them all night if they had too. That's what friends and family did.

"Okay." Nate nodded agreeing as 5 of them made their way to Brenda's car. Their parents were enjoying the night with the other adults and agreed to uber home.

Aidan had excused himself to his room shortly after Emma had gone home for curfew. Leaving Eliot, Byron, Alyssa and Nate in Byron's room to chat. He knew that the smaller the audience was probably appreciated and wanted Nate and Alyssa to have time with their cousins.

"Are you okay?" Eliot moved closer to Nate and rested her head on his muscular shoulder.

"I guess." he murmured.

"Maybe this is a good thing Nate…maybe mom and dad are getting back together?" Alyssa smiled still hopeful and naive.

"Oh come on Al…you know what they're doing? Stop acting like you are 12 and think about it. Dad drinks too much, his girlfriend is out of town. Mom is blindly missing him, throwing herself at him, they're doing it Al…don't be naive."

"Mom…would not throw herself at dad Nate. She isn't like that." Alyssa sticks up for her mother.

"How do you know? We don't know anything about how they are when single. Besides the fact dad likes dumb blondes that teach yoga." Nate rolls his eyes.

"Who cares if that's what it is Nate…who cares if they are hooking up…they are married. Maybe they miss each other?" Tears filled Alyssa's eyes. Her brothers pessimistic attitude was killing her wish of her parents getting back together.

Byron wrapped his arm around his cousin and comforted her. "Just because they are having sex doesn't mean they are getting back together." Nate said openly.

"It doesn't?" Alyssa sad looked up at Byron then Eliot. They both pursed their lips together and shrugged. Alyssa cried harder. Eliot and Nate moving towards her. All four of them wrapped their arms around each other and hugged. Byron looked at Eliot over their heads. The had a twin moment, knowing that if this was happening to their parents, they would be acting the same way. They wanted their aunt and uncle to work out, but deep inside selfishly they were happy their parents were inseparable and a separation or divorce was not on the immediate horizon for them. They hoped that it would never be.

Brandon felt his head pound before he even opened his eyes. He knew he drank a lot, the fashion show being a blur. He remembered watching Kelly all night, in her sexy red dress. He remembered making her cry. No matter how angry he was at her he never liked making her cry. His eyes shot open, remembering the kiss, then he became frightenly aware he was in his old bedroom. The one he shared with Kelly for 15 years. He also felt a very warm, soft, naked Kelly cuddled into his chest. Her breathing was even and he knew she was in a deep sleep. He squeezed his eyes shut… _shit,_ he thought. Kelly sighed a happy sigh and moved turning to they opposite side. He froze waiting to see if she was waking up. After a minute or two her breaths evened out again. He exhaled the breath he was holding. He cursed again in his head and slowly moved to sit on the edge of the bed. He sat looking around at their disagreed clothing. He had flashes in his head of the night before. The sex, the kissing, the groping. All vividly running through his head. They did not make love. They had a needy passion that exploded…twice if he remembered correctly. The fucking, the moaning, the ever present need the tow of them had when together at times. He turned slowly looking behind him a Kelly's naked back. Her peaceful restful breaths filling the quiet room. He couldn't do this. He slowly and quietly got up, spotting his boxers, then his suit pants. He quietly tip toed around the room gathering his belongings. He didn't even breath until he managed to quietly close the front door with a click. He exhaled, thankful he wasn't heard. He reached into the pocket of his suit pants on their once shared porch. His phone read 6:03am, he lowered down the porch steps and walked out to the side walk. There Brandon, standing in his clothes from last night, his tie untied around his neck, looking like the definition of a walk of shame, hit the uber app on his phone and requested a ride. Back to his condo, back to his life, regretting letting himself get carried away. At that moment in time, he knew that the night before's activities had just made this in between with Kelly...a hell of a lot worse. As he waited for his ride, he text Valerie, apologizes for sort of ditching her. He knew she wouldn't be angry. She knew she had probably hung out with Brenda, Dylan, David and Donna but still. Then in that moment for the first time all night and morning, he worried about his kids. He hoped, when they got home the night before they hadn't peaked into their bedroom. His heart stung guiltily as he read a text from Katie...letting him know what time her flight came in the following day, fuck he cheated on his girlfriend with his wife, was that a thing? Everything was bad...everything was complicated and Brandon felt for the first time, like the world had began to close in around him. He needed to talk to his sister and brother in law. They'd understand, they would tell him how to make this better. Brandon for the first time in his life didn't know the right answer.

 _DUN DUN DUN dun dun DUNNNNNN…surprised? Sorry it took so long to update. I was stuck on this chapter for a month at least. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write the fashion show or what. So next up the after math of this so called one night stand. Everyone seems to be involved a bit…the kids saw, how will kelly feel waking up alone, Brandon sneaking out. Brenda and Dylan, Valerie…all will be in the next chapter. Let me know what you guys are thinking. Also journals galore. I really like this story, I hope you do too. It's like a little spin off, with the kids lives an the adults. I'm digging it. REVIEW! Next up to be updated, Long time coming…and My best friends sister. wink wink._


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 17**_

 _ **Hangover Talk**_

 _September 19, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _So Bren and me have officially been back together for 5 days. We honestly have flowed back into this relationship really really easily. Everything has just fell into place. We have not had sex yet but the physical part of us…is as strong as ever. We've talked about sex. We came close a couple times in my car but…we both stopped it before it started. The honest truth is my car is small haha and when you're used to having a house and bed to use…it's not a fun choice. The problem we have mostly is Iris lives with me now. She's been here for 3 weeks so a place to do said sexy time is so far not at all possible. This must be how normal teenagers feel? Maybe this is why so many kids lose their virginity in cars? Who knows but my mom is driving me crazy and has proven to be the worlds biggest cock blocker without her even knowing. In the beginning she was at retreats or doing her mind gym shit. Now she is beginning to try to be motherly and is ALWAYS around. Brenda wants to meet her. It's not that I don't want my mom to meet Bren. I mean Brenda is the most important person in my life, of course I want to share that part of my life with my mom but my mom is so weird. I mean I know Brenda wont judge me, or things wont change because of it, its just I'm so used to being on my own. I'm a private person and its hard for me to let people in. Introducing Brenda to Iris collides both my worlds. I guess maybe I should plan something, maybe invite her over. It's kind of hard at the moment when I'm sleeping on my futon because I gave my mom the bedroom. Even writing in my journal is difficult. Iris stresses me out. She makes me not even want to come home at all. I'm going to Brenda's, maybe I'll even sleep there. I need a break before she literally drives me to drink._

 _Dylan_

 _September 26, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I can't…I can't deal with her anymore. I refuse to go home until I know she is sleeping. Brenda has a curfew, she always has. So everyday I see her at school, I drive her home most days. We'll go to the Pit, the beach, the movies wherever and then I'll take her home by 11pm well on weekends, 9 or 10 on weekdays depending on what school work we have. Lately I haven't even done that. I ditched school practically this whole week. I go to House of Billiards on Santa Monica, sometimes I'm there for 3 or 4 hours. I know Brenda is worried about me. She is trying to be supportive and caring without asking too many questions but I see those light eyes and I know she is wondering where I go. What I'm doing. The look she gives me breaks my heart so I haven't been doing many date nights even. Iris is bringing me down. She is constantly in my business. I caught her reading this journal the other day. The beginning stuff, now she knows about Bren…Brandon…the Walsh's. She had all these questions, about Bren mostly. I ignored her and took off. I'm going to school tomorrow. I called Bren when Iris was in the shower and she said after 3 unexcused absences they will call my mom. I don't need that shit that's for sure. I promised her I'd be at school tomorrow. I also opened up to her, it wasn't the first time I let her know what I was feeling about this but I told her Iris is driving me crazy. Brenda is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She makes me feel calm but no matter what she says to try to cheer me up, it doesn't take this Iris thing away. The one thing I haven't told Brenda about is…I started drinking again. Just beer at the pool hall but still. I haven't gotten into much of my drinking here in this journal because after meeting Brenda I stopped but I'm an alcoholic. I've been to AA before. I can't tell Bren about this. I'm too ashamed. Plus I just got her back. I'll I need is to scare her off with my fucking loser problems. No…I can't lose her again. Even though subconsciously I'm pushing her away, I need her. She is the only steady real thing I have right now. Fuck Iris is coming. I can't even deal._

 _Dylan_

 _September 27, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well…today was so annoying. Brenda got to finally meet Iris. I went to school like I had promised. I did get one hell of a greeting from Bren. She kissed me thoroughly at my locker. Things got heated quickly and before I roughly grabbed her boob in public I stopped it. Iris is literally now driving me to drink, I'm fucking sexually frustrated as hell because when my mood picks up and I have sexy Brenda kissing me and cuddling me, I can't do shit about it. I have a woman, who I barely know trying to all of a sudden raise me. I'm grown now. Yeah I know I'm a kid but I've been raising myself for years. She disappeared on me and NOW she wants to give me a curfew, know about my girlfriend, meet her, know where I am at all hours of the day. Fuck I can't deal with a 24 hour mom. At lunch today I told the gang. They all had their advice. Talk to her, be honest, let her know she is driving you crazy, you'll get used to it, tell her what she wants to here and do what you want. It's not that simple. So now is when I can't even deal…turned in to complete and utter frustration. I pull up to Bren's house after school. Thinking I'm not going home, I'm not gonna drink, I'll hang out with Brenda, catch up on my homework and maybe just fucking maybe, we'll get to make out a little so I can be with the woman I love and forget about Iris. As I pull into the driveway, Iris's car is there. She took what I had wrote in my journal and looked up the Walsh's. She claimed she called there looking for me and Cindy invited her over. She got her wish on meeting Bren too. They were nice to each other but I could feel Brenda's hesitation with her. Just the simple fact Brenda doesn't like how Iris is making me feel. My mom went through Brenda's astrological qualities…god she is weird. Of course Cindy being Cindy invited us to stay for dinner. I listened to my mother talk about practically being a hippy, selling fucking t-shirts at the beach and just "mellowed". Jim Walsh thought she was weirdo. I'm a little embarrassed because I freaked out and walked out on dessert. Brenda followed me, she asked me a question, she said in Yosemite I was complaining that she didn't care enough and now she was trying to be my mom, she said which is it Dylan? And I truly don't know. It's like I wanted a family, I wanted to get to know my mom but now that she is here. I can't deal. She had the audacity to ask me how long I had been seeing Brenda, She said some shit like she had a negative ora and that she was such a scorpio. Jesus…then she said we were totally wrong for each other. At that point I set some ground rules. She may drive me nuts, she may ask too many questions and shit BUT my relationship with Brenda Walsh is non of her fucking business. She better lay off. She doesn't even know her. Negative ora please. She's a crazy person. Brenda is my girl, I love her. I don't give a fuck what she thinks about her. Fuck it I'm going to the pool hall. I can't even look at her. I need a drink._

 _Dylan_

 _September 28, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I'm fucking drunk. It's hard to see this thing. Brenda kicked me out when I went over tonight. I thought she had my back, I thought I could count on her. I feel like she deserves a metal to have to deal with me. What am I doing? I'm fucking this up. I don't want to lose her again. The thought alone is making me drink more. Not just beer…now the liquor is back. A shot…I'm taking a much needed shot. To deal with my mother…and the thought of me fucking up my life. Cheers._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up shocked. _Holy shit_ …She had no idea how bad her father was back when he was even younger then her and Byron. She looked up at her parents closed door. It was Saturday, about 9 o'clock in the morning, late for them to be sleeping in. Nate and Alyssa had gone home a little bit ago. Her parents didn't come home until late. She had been sound asleep with Alyssa sleeping next to her when she woke up to the sound of her parents kissing and her mom giggling drunkingly while her dad laughed and acted happier than normal. She figured they must have had a good time after the fashion show. Which she was aware they had both been drinking at. Now she wondered, reading this, if that was something her father should even indulge in. They did say if she had questions she could talk to them. She took a deep breath and closed the journal bringing it with her as she walked towards her parents room. She knocked and when no sound or answer came from the inside she turned the knob. Byron and her weren't young and naive, they knew when their parents locked their door it meant stay out, it meant they were having alone time. To her surprise the door clicked open as she pushed it gently open. She stared at her parents both sound asleep. She smiled a little seeing them tangled together. Practically face to face, arms around each other. Her fathers face resting peacefully against her moms.

"Mom…Dad?" she whispered receiving no movement.

Dad?" she whispered louder. Her mom moaned as Dylan grunted.

"El?" Dylan said opening one eye, then the other. He rolled to his back, keeping his arm around Brenda, "Is everything okay?" his voice gruff and thick with sleep.

"Um yeah…I just…I'm sorry I woke you up, I just had some questions." She moved slowly and sat next to her father. Dylan looked down at the journal she held tightly in her hand, then at Brenda, she continued to sleep soundly. He sat up slowly bringing the covers higher over her shoulders. His attention went to Eliot.

"Let's go downstairs, we got in late last night, lets let your mom sleep in a little." Dylan whispered.

Eliot nodded as she watched her dad reach for his robe to cover himself a little, knowing her father was shirtless and probably in a pair of boxers. She got up walking towards the bedroom door giving him his privacy. They followed each other down the stairs and into the kitchen, Eliot sitting at the kitchen stool at the counter while Dylan hit brew on the preset coffee maker. She watched him reach for the Advil as he took 2 and washed them down with a bottle of water.

"You guys have fun last night?" Eliot gave her dad a slow smile watching him down the water like his life depended on it.

Dylan chuckled, "Yeah…your mom worked so hard on that fashion show, I guess we celebrated a little to hard. Your mom and Val…those two together are hilarious. But you'll learn the older you get…the less frequently you can do this because it takes longer to recuperate." he chuckled again slightly embarrassed his daughter knew he was sort of hung over. Something she rarely saw out of both parents.

"Well…that's kind of why I wanted to talk to you. I've been reading the journal." she ran her hand over it as it sat in front of her on the kitchen counter. Dylan's eyes glanced at it and all of a sudden he was nervous what she had questions about. "Dad I noticed…you drink now but back when you and mom were younger, when grandma Iris lived with you, you struggled so much with alcohol abuse. I know you guys aren't huge drinkers but I guess I was just wondering how are you able to drink now?" She looked down a little embarrassed too.

Dylan cleared his throat and moved to the seat next to her. She turned to look at him. He gave her a small understanding smile.

"Sweetie. I know it seems confusing. The truth is I did battle with alcohol and drugs for a long time. I went to rehab, spent many years in AA…I get why you are asking. The truth is, when someone is an alcoholic it means they indulge excessively in drinking. I used to drink to escape reality. I wasn't a nice drunk, I wasn't a controlled drunk. That's when you know you have a problem. When you can't just have a night out, or you drink alone or you drink daily, when you are out of control. When we were younger, I was always in recovery because I couldn't just have a drink. There were times I was drunk everyday. As I got older. I learned that drinking isn't an escape, it doesn't make you feel better it actually is a depressant and makes things a lot worse. After your mom and I broke up, when we were living in London. When I came back to Beverly Hills I was a mess. Sadly you'll read about it as you go through the journal but I worked on myself and got clean. I did though still drink occasionally. When your mom came back into my life she was not happy I was drinking because she knew how I used to be and how much I struggled but after time it became apparent that I didn't indulge anymore. I was in control. I was able to drink a beer, a cocktail whatever and not be excessive about it. You know many people don't grow out of alcoholism, its a disease. It's how people handle their problems or just simply escape. I learned how to handle my issues in a healthy way. By talking and opening up about it instead of hiding from them. When I say your mom is my angel El, she doesn't let me run away from stuff anymore. She helped teach me the right way to handle life. So yeah sometimes we do indulge so to speak, like last night but its always something I have to keep an eye on because for one second if I or your mom think I'm going down that path again, it will stop immediately because the last thing I want is to lose the most important people in my life. Which is my family. Does that make sense? If I have a drink now days it's socially. Not to escape reality and that was something that took time to figure out."

Dylan's hand came lovingly to his daughters cheek. He smiled a sad smile at her and hoped it made sense. The truth was Brenda wasn't ok with Dylan drinking in the beginning. It was something they talked about and worked on through the beginning years of their relationship. With time Brenda saw Dylan as a grown up that over came life's hurdles. He was responsible, an amazing father and she saw first hand he was okay. It just wasn't something he was interested in anymore. He wanted to be the kind of guy she was proud of. It just became less and less of an issue the longer they were together. Dylan proving time and time again, he was okay, he was a different guy. He wasn't that messed up lost little boy anymore.

Eliot nodded and returned the smile. "Thanks dad. I guess reading about your struggle is so hard because I don't know that side of you. I mean your the perfect couple, the perfect dad."

Dylan chuckled, "No one is perfect El…but we try to be the best we know how to be. Your mom and I we've been through a lot together. I guess there comes time when you grow up. The things you cared about before become less important and the things that stay important become everything, that's how your mom is to me." His hand gripped the back of her neck softly as he smiled. "You don't have to worry about me. If your mom thought I was drinking for the wrong reasons she would be the first to say something. You want breakfast?" Dylan got up to fetch a cup of coffee as it beeped.

"Uuuuugh." Brenda groaned as she made her way into the kitchen. "You guys are up early. Why…did I drink so much?" Brenda breathed as she reached for water and Advil as Dylan had. Dylan and Eliot chuckled. Brenda looked at them. "Are you guys making fun of me?"

Eliot shook her head, "No mom…just…never mind." She got up with a smile and left Brenda and Dylan alone, keeping the conversation with her dad between them.

"What was that about?" Brenda looked to Dylan who still had a smirk on his face. He gently kissed her lips, wrapping his arms around her waist tightly.

"Good morning my beautiful wife." he uttered. Brenda pushed him away, her eyes searching his for information.

Dylan chucked, "Eliot is reading the journal…she came to the part when I started drinking again, when Iris came to live with me. She had questions about my drinking, considering she saw us drinking last night."

Brenda nodded getting it, "Is she okay?" her arms came around his neck now. She pressed her forehead against his, pecking him softly.

"Yeah…she's okay…I'm glad she felt comfortable coming to me." Brenda stared into his eyes. She loved this man more than her own life. He had come so far. Sure he had his demons but the twins and the life they shared made Dylan thankful for what he had. He was a changed man. He was happy…finally, where he was in it, who he was with. Dylan was finally the man he always should have been. He thanked Brenda for it. They leaned to each other, kissing each other softly. Dylan licking the top of her lip gently. Brenda hummed happily, hang over practically forgotten. She leaned in taking his lips more urgently. Her tongue mixing with his deliciously. Dylan's hands came down, squeezing her butt cheeks roughly. They broke for air.

"God." he breathed, "I love you." he shook his head over come with emotion.

Brenda smiled, she leaned in kissing him softly again, "I know you do." she pecked him again. "You want to show me how much?" She said seductively. The sound from the main gate buzzed into the kitchen interupting them.

Brenda groaned, "Who the hell could that be?" she moved towards it as Dylan watched her ass hungrily. "Hello?" she pressed the intercom.

"Hey Bren…it's me." she heard loudly over the speaker.

She looked at Dylan over her shoulder, "Hold on Bran." she pressed the button to open the gate.

"I wonder what he wants?" Dylan moved toward Brenda and together they went to the front door. Dylan reached for it, opening it up in time to see Brandon getting out of his car as he walked towards them. Dylan smiled seeing it looked like both twins were feeling it today.

"Hey brother." Dylan shook his hand.

Brenda made a face at him. "Did you come over for some hang over food…cause I didn't make anything yet." She joked.

Brandon smirked, "No…I was hoping to talk to you guys." his expression serious. Brenda looked at Dylan before nodding and ushering him in the house.

"You want coffee?" Brenda offered.

"Yeah…thanks." All three of them made their way into the kitchen. Brenda grabbed a mug pouring both of them a cup. Brenda led both guys to the kitchen table and took a seat. She patiently waited for her brother to talk to them as she took the much needed sip of caffeine while the guys got settled.

Brandon took a sip and set down his mug. He sat quiet then took a deep breath. "I messed up…big time."

Brenda and Dylan both set down their mugs. She reached for her brothers hand as she rested hers over his. "Does this have anything to do with Kelly running out of there last night?" She looked at Dylan before making eye contact with Brandon again.

"I told Kelly that I thought it was time to move forward, we've just been in this impasse for over year now." Brandon looked down ashamed, "Kelly wants to get back together." Brenda swallowed hard, "She misunstood what I was trying to say and then I told her that…" Brandon paused. He took his hand back from under Brenda's and rubbed his face. "I told her I wanted to move forward with the divorce." Dylan looked down sadly.

Brenda stared at her brother, "So she ran out." Brenda finished his thought. "Oh Brandon." she whispered.

"How did you mess up? Is that not what you want?" Dylan leaned forward bringing his elbows to the table.

Brandon breathed out an uncomfortable laugh, "Oh god no that's not how I messed up. I ran after her. It wasn't the place to discuss that and I felt terrible seeing her upset. Then…I kissed her, like really kissed her."

Dylan's eyes closed knowing exactly where this story was going. Brenda not so much yet.

Brenda's eyes went wide, then a small smile appeared on her lips. "Now…you don't want the divorce?" she smirked at him.

Brandon shook his head leaning his elbows in the table now, "I don't know what I want."

"I think it's good that you kissed…maybe now you can have a conversation Brandon. You guys are married, what's so wrong about a kiss in the heat of emotion and passion…"

"I slept with her."

"You what?" Brenda's eyes went wide as Dylan shook his head, his assumption correct. He knew guys, he knew Brandon.

Brandon nervous now got up, he began pacing, "I drank a little too much and got caught up in the emotion of all of it. Besides, I love Kelly. We've been together for so long. We have a history, a sexual history, I didn't mean to lead her on, and it was nice…damn it was really nice but…"

"Brandon wait a minute." Brenda got up she stood in front of him as he stopped pacing and looked at his sister. His eyes teary and red. "Brandon what did you do?" Brenda stared at him. This was where he messed up. She knew her brother, he did something that was unlike him. She knew that guilty look.

Brandon looked down, "This morning when I woke and the alcohol blur flashed before my eyes, I was laying in my old room. I felt her there, against me, beside me again…I freaked out."

Brenda's eyes closed tightly, "Please tell me Brandon…you talked to her. Please tell me you didn't..."

"I left." Brandon interrupted her, "I snuck out."

"You ghosted her?" Brenda's voice raised. "Oh my god Brandon. What are you some twenty something douche in college? Who does that?"

"I didn't mean..." Brandon yelled back as Brenda yelled at him.

Dylan sighed loudly, "Alright alight…Bren sit…Brandon sit." He waited for the twins to sit. Brenda crossed her arms disappointed. "I think all three of us can agree that Brandon…maybe didn't handle the situation like you should have." Brandon crossed his arms as well looking down. "But I assume you came to us for advice, Yes?"

"Well…yeah…I don't know what to do. Damn it I mean Katie texted me…"

"Oh Please. I think it's a little late to worry about Katie." Brenda said with attitude.

"Bren." Dylan warned, she was not helping matters. "Brandon I don't know what kind of advice you want…you need to go over to your house…Kelly's house." he corrected himself "And talk to her. Apologize and admit you freaked out. Kelly will understand."

Brandon swallowed hard, "And then what?"

Brenda took a deep breath and leaned forward, setting her hand on Brandon's again. She calmed herself from the initial shock and turned supportive, "What do you want Brandon? Are you ready to make this separation official? Chalk it up to being together one last time or did you freak out because it felt right?" Brandon looked at her sadly.

Tears formed in Brandon's eyes. Brenda looked sadly at her brother. She hadn't seen him get emotional very often, maybe not since they were small even.

"Brandon if you're still in love with Kelly, why wont you give her another chance? What's the point of making yourself miserable?" Dylan spoke up.

Brandon looked at Dylan sadly, he sighed exhausted, "Because…she is in love with you."

Brenda rubbed down her face, "I'm too hungover for this." she murmured.

Dylan shook his head, "Brandon…you are my brother…my oldest friend, I have to disagree with you here. I don't think those feelings are there. I just don't. I don't get any vibe or anything romantic from Kelly ever."

"You better not." Brenda looked at him. He gave her a look, the a _re you serious right now_ look. "Sorry." she mumbled reading his mind. She turned towards Brandon, "Look did Kelly ever say to you…in her journal whatever, that she was still in love with Dylan?" Brenda asked interested.

She didn't want to start world war three with Kelly but she was curious. She half expected Dylan to comment, stopping Brandon from answering like he usually would. But Dylan didn't say anything, he looked at brandon too wanting to know the answer.

"Well…no…not in those words but you guys the journal is filled with shit about Dylan. About you and Dylan, about the night of the wedding. About trying again and not being sure. About being scared that Dylan was with her for the wrong reasons. Even though she was with me…she was hurt and upset about losing Dylan to you." He looked at his sister. "It was almost obsessive."

"Wait…that's it?" Brenda head tilted to the side. "Brandon come on…that doesn't mean she is still in love with Dylan. All those worries were completely justified. I mean they get back together, we come into town and then both of us are in bed with them. It was far from a secure relationship."

Brandon sighed, "You don't get it." he rubbed down his face again, silence filled the kitchen. "What about my kids?" tears filled his eyes again, he wiped them quickly trying to reign in his emotions. "They are struggling with the separation and then maybe a divorce. When I married her I thought it was going to be for forever."

"Then why can't it be?" Brenda said sadly. She hated seeing her brother this way.

"I don't think it's fair to live my life always wondering if the women I love…is with me because she can't be with who she really wants. I know leaving this morning was a dick move but I'm not a bad person. I deserve to be with someone that loves me…and only me." Brandon looks at Brenda. She gets up and wraps her arms around him hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry Bran. I wish I could make this better for you." Brandon rubs the arm around his neck as she is leaning over him.

"I know Bren." he sighed.

"Hello?" Valerie called out letting herself into the foyer. "Gate was open." she called out.

Brenda stood up just in time to see a perky eyed Valerie walk into the kitchen.

"Hey guys." She smiled at them, then got the somber vibe. "What did I miss?" Valerie walks over to the pot of coffee and helps herself. She turns around sipping her coffee as she looks at the 3 of them. "Who died?"

"Brandon slept with Kelly." Brenda says openly.

"Bren!" he says loudly.

"What? You did." Brenda shrugs looking at Valerie.

"So? It's not like they haven't banged before." Valerie doesn't see the big deal.

"It means something." Brenda argues.

"It doesn't always mean something. Shit Bren…when me and you were living in New York together. I'd say most of the sex we had with guys was pretty fucking meaningless." Brenda's eyes got wide.

Dylan's mouth dropped looking at Valerie then his wife, "Woah…what?"

"Oh please Dylan. Did you think Brenda had only been with you, come on." She rolled her eyes and sipped her coffee.

"How much meaningless sex are we talking about?" Dylan got up walking towards Brenda.

"Oh my god this is about Brandon and Kelly…not me." Brenda changed the subject.

Brandon smiled, "Let's talk New york." He was entertained now and he liked the attention being on someone else.

"Gladly." Valerie smiled and sat at the kitchen table. "By the way…you ditched me…I was kind of ticked but since I know you were getting some…I'll let it slide this time." She looks at Brandon with a smirk.

"Thank you Val." Brandon leans in and kisses her cheek. "So New York?"

Brenda sees Dylan staring at her. "Oh my god NO! Alright Brandon slept with Kelly and he bailed out this morning while she was asleep. Now he doesn't know what to do." Brenda fills Valerie in.

Valerie chuckles and grins, "Damn Brandon…you ghosted her."

"What the fuck is ghosting…we're the same age…how can I not know this?"

"Ghosting…you know…disappearing…up and leaving. No explanation…ghosting." Valerie smiled. "There is lots a ways of ghosting someone, stopping communication, leaving like you did. Ghosting." she nodded.

Brandon exhaled loudly. Thats exactly what he did. "I'll I know is this rerun is boring." Valerie shook her head.

"What rerun?" Brenda asked sitting next to her at the table.

"The rerun of Brandon and Kelly…not to be mean but I feel like its never fucking ending, I mean. So what they slept together, shit happens. I saw Kelly last night and she looked like she needed it."

Dylan chuckles finding that funny.

"But they have history, it's impossible to have meaningless sex with someone you care about…It just is. Believe me…I know." Brenda says looking at her husband, Dylan at this point makes his way over to the table. Putting New York aside for now. He sits by Brenda and wraps his arm around her.

"Bren has a point." He says honestly. "When Bren and I hooked up…anytime we went there and crossed that line…it was never meaningless, whether we were together or not, it was always special and it always brought up past feelings."

"That's you guys." Valerie shakes her head. "You guys are soul mates."

"And you don't think Kelly and I are soul mates?" Brandon asks Valerie interested in an outside point of view.

Valerie shrugs not sure, "I don't know…I think you should be asking that question to yourself."

The table turns quiet. All thinking about the situation.

"Look Brandon…we all know you love her. You've been in love with her since I came back into your life all those years ago. There isn't a doubt in my mind that you don't love her. I also know…terminator Kelly."

Brandon looks at Valerie confused. "Terminator Kelly? What's that?" Brenda asks curiously.

"Terminator Kelly…the only girl I know that can take two guys down in one shot." She looks at Brandon…then at Dylan. "The I chose me Kelly." Dylan rolls his eyes. Valerie continues.

"When Dylan and Kelly were together…there was always a third person in that relationship...Brenda. When Brandon was with Kelly…there was always a third person in that relationship too…Dylan. Now after years and years of marital bliss…kids…Brandon gets information that maybe things aren't as perfect as they seem. Why should Brandon live his life with insecurity? I mean little miss perfect did a number on both you guys, terminator. Now its amazing you and Dylan have the love and marriage you have now. You guys made it. You are secure in your love for one another and all the past bullshit doesn't matter. But why should Brandon live with doubt? Why should he give Kelly the possibility to pull a terminator 3 on him. Just my opinion."

Brenda and Dylan are quiet, Brandon reflecting what val has said. "But Kelly never said she was still in love with Dylan. She was angry at Dylan cheating on her…she was weirded out by the sudden reunion with us." Brenda hand comes to Dylan, "It doesn't mean she is in love with him still all these years."

Valerie leans both arms on the table, "True…but…tell me Bren, if Kelly was reuniting with Brandon at that wedding…then why wasn't she talking about him?" The night Brandon and Valerie drank beers at his condo, he had filled Valerie in on the journal. She was all caught up in the rerun of Brandon and Kelly.

"I'm gonna go." Brandon got up sadly. "I'll talk to you guys later." he said quietly, a million things on his mind. The sound of the front door closing radiates into the kitchen.

"Val…kind of harsh don't you think?" Dylan looks at her, this whole conversation making him a lot more uncomfrotable then he is letting on.

Valerie shurgs, "Maybe…but maybe not. Like I said this rerun has run its course." she grabbed her coffee, taking a sip. "You want to go shopping?" Her attention turns to Brenda. She nods silently thinking about her brother. Is this really it for them? Even them being separated for a year…Brenda never really thought it was over over. She looks at Dylan. Her eyes sad, as he nods understanding, his hand comes to the back of her head running down it. He takes a deep breath, "I…think I should maybe talk to Kelly, see where her head is at." he says out loud. Both Valerie and Brenda look at him. Valerie shakes her head taking a sip of her coffee again trying to escape the wrath she feels coming.

"What?" Brenda's voice like ice.

"Well..if Brandon isn't going to…maybe I should? It's not fair Bren…Kelly is in the dark about this. I'm not saying I'm going to mention the journal…just maybe see where she is in this. I don't believe Brandon is right. The insecurity I get it. But Kelly is not in love with me."

Brenda stands up, "Let me get this straight, you want me to be okay with you going to Kelly's to talk to her about whether she is in love with you or my brother?" her voice smart ass.

'Come on Brenda…to talk as friends." He try to explain.

Brenda shakes her head, she runs her tongue over he teeth as she laughs out more uncomfortable then anything. "You know what babe…do you what you want." she shakes her head and walks to leave the kitchen obviously angry, "Val gimme 15…let me get dressed." a _K Bren_ , is heard from Valerie but Brenda is already gone. A loud slam of their bedroom door echoes through the large home.

Dylan looks at Valerie, "I'm in a shit load of trouble aren't I?"

Valerie chuckles shaking her head, she takes the cup to her mouth again. "Dylan…you're on your own with this one, but I have a feeling Brenda, is gonna do a number on your credit card today. So thanks ahead of time." She smiles.

"Well…I guess I'm not going to talk to Kelly."

"If you know what's good for you." Valerie agrees. She contemplates fir a moment, "I should have fucked Brandon a long time ago, we had several chances. Hmmm." She comments out loud.

Dylan looks to the ceiling exhaling with a laugh.

"Oh Val." he groans. They don't make women like her often. He turns serious.

 _Fuck me,_ he thinks _. How the hell did Brandon and Kelly's drama become theirs?_ Dylan sits quiet anticipating a night of the silent treatment and begging for his wives forgiveness.

"Is it too early for a drink?" Valerie looks at Dylan with a smile.

He shakes his head, seriously thinking the same.

 _So next chapter is up. I'm working on all of them, just this one was more done then the others and easier to finish. Do you think Brenda is overreacting to Dylan's idea? Probably not but maybe its a good idea. What should Brandon do? Let me know what you guys are thinking. Next up, more journals, Brenda and Val time, Eliot and Aidan talk about their relationship, Brenda reminisces...and not alone. And more Brenda and Dylan...Ruh Roh!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Another chapter for you. I vow to work on my other fics, particularly, London and LTC. So I leave you with this for a little while. Thanks for being patient with me and sticking by my long updates. This one is absolutely rated M…for adult. We get a little more detailed then we have been. Enjoy!_

 _ **Chapter 18**_

 _ **Reminiscing**_

Brenda pushes the clothes on the rack going through them angrily. "Dang Bren…what did those dresses do to you?" Valerie smiles as Brenda looks up from the rack.

Brenda sighs, "Sorry…I'm just so pissed off about the whole situation."

"Dylan isn't going to go to Kelly's Bren…I think his intentions were good but what the hell would he even say?"

"I'm mad because this whole thing is just incredibly fucked up. My sister in law is supposedly still in love with my husband. My brother is heartbroken, Valerie you know Brandon practically as well as me. I have never seen my brother cry or even have emotions like this morning. Brandon is a down to earth, a together type of guy. He's a mess right now."

"Because…of Kelly Taylor…terminator…I'm telling you." Valerie shakes her head.

Brenda laughs a little. She shakes her head too. "Dylan better not go over there. I'll have his balls in a vice grip by the days end. I'm not saying talking to Kelly is a bad idea…I just can't be okay with the idea of him going over there…alone. I mean what if Kelly says she still loves him, then what? What if she tries to kiss him…what if he realizes he feels the same?" Brenda's eyes widen terrified as she looks at Valerie.

"Brenda…come on…Dylan is obsessed with you. If he had feelings for Kelly, this shit would have been an issue a long time ago. The only thing Dylan would do is feel extremely uncomfortable and have to tell you and his brother in law the truth. I'm telling you…good sentiment but obviously he didn't think about the possibility of what it would be like if Brandon is right." Valerie laughed, "Dylan would shit his pants."

Brenda exhaled lifting a cute off the shoulder bodysuit off the rack. "That's cute." Valerie notices. Brenda lays it over her arm with the rest of the items she has been collecting for the fitting room.

"What the hell is Kelly's deal? My brother is a good catch. They have two amazing kids. What does she want with Dylan? Do you honestly think she is still in love with him? After all this time? She stood at the alter at my wedding for god sakes. I mean get over it already…he's mine." Brenda says pissed off.

"Oh that would look amazing on El." Valerie noticed the surf branded crop top Brenda held up.

"I was thinking the same." Brenda added it to her growing pile of clothes. Valerie was right, she was going overboard in the shopping category today. Dylan was in for a rude awakening…not that he would care anyway. Brenda and Dylan were rich, they didn't sweat about money. Dylan had invested properly and Brenda was well off before they even got back together. There was still money coming in and both Brenda and Dylan afforded the life that didn't require either of them to work a 9 to 5.

"Back to Kelly…truthfully…I don't think Kelly is in love with Dylan still. Journal or not, I mean she may still harbor I'll always care about him feelings but love…I don't get that vibe." Valerie shakes her head.

Brenda exhales, "Me either. I wish my brother saw it that way."

Valerie shrugs taking a halter dress off the rack, "It doesn't matter if she does or not. If Brandon has that insecurity about her feelings…it will never work. I wasn't trying to be rude earlier talking about the rerun. I mean there are a lot of people that get back together and repeat a relationship but…not everyone is you and Dylan Bren. If Brandon's head isn't 100% into it, why bother? I feel like, and I can't believe I'm saying this. I feel like no matter how great Brandon and Kelly were as a couple. It always seemed like she consumed him. She was the reason for his happiness but…she was the reason for misery too, and this goes back so many years."

Brenda looked up at her long time friend. When did Valerie get so wise? "So Dr. Phil…what about you? You seeing anyone? Anyone making you miserable and happy at the same time?" Brenda smiled.

Valerie shook her head, "Please…I gave up on the whole settling down marriage thing…years ago. My love life still consists of meaningless sex and I like it that way."

"Which reminds me…thanks a lot for telling my husband about my sowing my wild oats slut phase." Brenda's face turned into a huge smile as her eyebrows raised.

Valerie laughed, "You were not a slut…I'm a slut…you are a wanna be slut." Valerie kept her smile going through another rack close by Brenda. "By the way…you and Dylan have been married for 17 freaking years. I'm shocked he didn't know anything it seemed. Don't tell me you told him you had only been with him and that rich guy…what was his name, the one that married Gina…the boring one with daddy issues? He died right?"

Brenda shook her head, "Stuart. And don't say anything bad about him, his son is living at our house right now."

Valerie head came up quickly, "Are you serious? The handsome shy type that Eliot has been gaga over? The one that got Dylan acting like Jim Walsh? That cutie patootie?"

Brenda laughed, "The one and the same."

"Wow." Valerie breathed, "Man it's a small world."

"Tell me about it." Brenda walked over, her arms full of clothes to try on. "I wish you lived here Val. How long are you staying?"

Valerie shrugged, "I rented a cabana at the Beverly Hills hotel for the month. Working from home kind of thing. I don't know…needed a break from the cold New York Winter."

"I don't know why you just don't move back. It would be awesome having you here all the time." Brenda smiled a sweet smile at her.

Valerie takes a deep breath, "L.A. doesn't have anything for me anymore. I sure do miss it though when I visit."

"It misses you too you know."

Valerie shrugs, "My work is in New York…that's all I have that's steady right now."

"Val…you are the smartest, strongest woman I know. The finest business woman in that town. You can bring your work here."

"Bren…L.A. is just a constant reminder that I'm alone. It's fine to visit often but…I don't trust myself here. Too many ways to go back to how I used to be."

"This have to do with David?" Brenda peaked through her long lashes, knowingly.

"Oh please…that ship has sailed."

Brenda smirked and nodded, knowing that was a lie. "Speaking of meaningless sex…you were saying Brandon and Kelly's night of passion didn't have to mean anything. I know you don't believe that, I know for a fact…if you and David hooked up…it would be far from meaningless."

Valerie shrugged, "I know, but maybe its time your brother moves on with his life, like I have." Brenda smirks at that crock of shit. "I know its hard, they have kids and a past. A long past but Kelly Taylor is a selfish piece of work, and David is happily married, remember?" She eyes her, she knows what Brenda is thinking.

"I know he is…you like Kelly now Val…I know you do, we're all a little selfish sometimes."

"I know…but it doesn't take away the years of not liking her. I get Brandon's frustration. Kelly is the type that would harbor feelings for Dylan but want Brandon too. That's kind of fucked up, don't you think? I know how Kelly feels about Brandon but you and I both know…her past with Dylan."

Brenda swallowed hard. "I swear to god…if he goes over there…I'll kill him."

Valerie laughs, "Dylan knows you Bren…he knows you would poison his chicken adobo. Dylan is far from stupid." They both laugh. "You gonna try those on?" Valerie changes the subject.

"Yeah…thanks for this Val…I needed some alone time with my oldest friend." Brenda smiles.

Valerie nods, taking her free arm and wrapping it around Brenda's neck. They hug tightly. "I love you. I just want you to be happy…I want everyone to be happy, Kelly…Brandon…you too."

"I know you do." Valerie sighs and releases her. "Not everyone can be Brenda and Dylan."

Brenda smiles and playfully rolls her eyes. "You should buy this too." Valerie grabs a sexy black lace teddy from the rack. "After you give Dylan the silent treatment through dinner…after he is on his knees asking for forgiveness, you can reveal this puppy." Brenda laughs taking it.

They begin to walk towards the fitting rooms, "Make him go down on you. He was good at that."

"Ewww…stop. Gross." Brenda's mouth dropped opening the curtain to stare at Valerie.

Valerie smiled and winked, "Am I wrong though?"

Brenda shakes her head with a smirk, "I hate that you know that."

"Oh please…it happened once ages ago, he never did that to me. I love pissing you off though." She joked.

Brenda rolled her eyes, taking the curtain and aggressively closing it. "Valerie…you are such a bitch." She jokes, Valerie laughs loudly.

"I know, but you love me." Valerie begins to get undressed.

Brenda shakes her head, "I do…I love you more than I should you slut."

Valerie laughs loudly, "I told ya!"

Both girls giggle as they try on their clothes. Brenda needed this. She enjoyed her girl time with Valerie. She could always be more open and herself with her. It reminded her of another time.

"You know Dylan is going to ask me about New York." Brenda pulls up the jeans she is trying on.

"Dylan was no boycott Bren…So you aren't as perfect as he thinks you are, so what? You weren't even that bad. The fact I know anything about Dylan's bedroom activities is proof of that. You know there was nothing between me and Dylan like that, I was only giving you a hard time."

"I know, you and Dylan's past sexcapades doesn't bother me in the slightest." Brenda turns to the side checking out her butt in the jeans. "Did you grab some of these Roberto Cavalli jeans? Holy shit they make my ass look amazing. Besides…I get him and his bedroom skills all to myself every night."

"HAHA…you remember that when you're bitching to him about Kelly. I grabbed the black ones with the rips. Trying them on now."

"Dylan would have a coronary if he knew I bought $900 jeans." Brenda checked herself out in them…they were beyond hot.

"Well…that will teach him to bring up Kelly again…now wont it?" Valerie laughed.

Brenda smiled, "You're right. I'm gonna buy 2 pairs…you are a bad influence." Valerie laughed louder at Brenda's words.

"Damn straight…someone has got to be."

As Brenda handed the sales woman her credit card, she saw her total. $3,234…on clothes, mostly for her, a couple things for Eliot and Byron. She even got a few things for Dylan, even though she was still kind of angry with him. Valerie smirked looking at the cash register.

"Bad influence my ass…that was mostly you."

Brenda giggled and shrugged, "I can't help it…being with you reminds me of New York. Living the high life. I often wonder how different my life would be if I stayed there…if I didn't come out for that wedding reception."

"Well…you wouldn't have your kids." They walked with a half a dozen bags in their arms.

"True…I may not have Dylan either." Brenda stopped and looked at Valerie.

She smiled at her, "You most definitely would have Dylan Bren, you always had him…now that's a rerun that should be in syndication."

Brenda laughed intertwining her arm with hers, "Let's get some lunch."

Valerie nodded, "Let's get some mimosas." she gleamed.

"Now your talking." Brenda laughed as they walked towards the Neiman Marcus cafe.

 _September 29, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I stooped to a new low today. I went to school drunk. Brenda knew right away. As I apologized to her for the night before, I asked her to forgive me. Kissing her on the cheek was not the smartest thing to do. Brandon said I smelled like a brewery. I hadn't had a drink in the hours before school but it was still in my system and seepinf out of my pours it seemed. After having some choice words with Kelly…that girl needs to learn to mind her own business. Just because her mother is a whacked out crack whore doesn't mean I'm like her. The disappointment in Bren's eyes it was too much to take so I took off. Brandon stopped me in the parking lot as I was about to drive out of there. I got into a heated pool game with this guy, Falco. I won $500 bucks from him the night before so he was looking for revenge. He got his money back. Brandon kept warning me, Dylan lets go…he's taking you for a chump…how long are you going to keep this up? Falco already had gotten his money back and now I was in the hole. As I drank my beer I told Brandon the truth. I was going to keep this up until I was numb…until I forgot my problems, forgot why I even came there to begin with. Falco won, and after I told him I didn't have his $300, he took me outside. I got my ass handed to me. The guys wailed on me as they held Brandon back. It was stupid…I know it was stupid. My ribs hurt and my face was swollen. Brandon took me back to his house. I asked him too. I needed to talk to Brenda. I needed to try and fix this between us. When I got there, Iris was there looking for me. Jim and Cindy were pissed…Brenda calm but worried. Iris started in on mm right away. it was almost 1 o'clock in the morning. I had hoped I could sneak into Brenda's room and try to have a conversation but they were all there waiting up. Iris took one look at my face and freaked out. I told them I lost some money at the pool hall. Iris kept saying I can't deal with this. Frightening like me huh? The truth was Iris could never handle anything. She ran like me. I had more of my mother in me than I realized. I mouthed off to her and she told me not to speak to her like that. I asked her how was I suppose to speak to her, with respect? Or like someone who walked out on me when I was 6 years old? After the Walsh's left us alone to talk, Iris admitted she didn't know how to handle me. I wasn't her problem. She disagreed that I was her problem, I was her responsibility, I was her son. I responded like what the fuck? Since when? She said she loved me and I stormed out. She didn't love me. She doesn't know what love is. Now that I knew what it was, neither one of my parents loved me. Brenda followed me out on to the porch. She didn't yell at me, she didn't lecture me. She looked at me with that heartbreakingly sad face and told me Jim, told her she wasn't allowed to see me unless I got my life together. As sad as that made me feel. He was right. I fucked up. I felt my world collapsing around me again. She told me…I don't want to lose you Dylan…not this time. And my heart ached. I didn't want to lose her either. She was the best thing that happened to me. At that moment I knew that whatever happened with my mom, I had to try…I had to try to get myself back. Because I had lost my parents a long time ago. That was nothing new…but losing Bren…was not an option. I told her I was going to be alright…and I was telling the truth. I promised I would go back to AA, I would earn her love back. I knew Brenda wouldn't abandon me. She was in it for the long hall. She hugged me tightly. My hand coming to the back of her head, as I closed me eyes. She whispered she loved me. I loved her too. As I leaned out from her. I stared into her light eyes. I leaned in kissing her softly. The kiss was chastised because I had a fat lip but she was gentle. At that moment I vowed to her out loud. She didn't have to break up with me. I would go to a meeting first thing tomorrow. I wouldn't touch that shit again. I would deal with my mom like a normal person, by talking to her. By telling her how I felt. She was happy to hear it and at that moment I knew we would be okay. I knew Brenda was special, I knew I would always be fond of her no matter where the future took us. But at that moment in time, I knew just how special she was. She was proof of unconditional love. No matter what shit I had put her through. She stood by me. I would one day show her and thank her for that. Brenda was the one. She was my best friend. My angel…and something told me…she always would be._

 _Dylan_

 _September 30, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _My mother went back to Hawaii. I felt bad about it actually. She knew she couldn't make up for the time we had lost but maybe we can start over. I hope we can. The truth is, Iris was driving me crazy but the thought of her leaving again hit me harder than I thought it would. I was crying like a baby as she tried to explain to me that I didn't need a full time mom and that I was doing a good job taking care of myself, at least when she wasn't around. She told me my father offered her a lot of money to get out of our life when they divorced. She said maybe if I had been stronger, and fought him I would have won. But she didn't. I wasn't surprised to hear my father did that. He bought people all the time. Including me, my mother held on to the money. She didn't touch it. She said it's yours Dylan. When I looked at the check. It was made out for 10 million dollars. My dad wasn't cheap that's for sure. I didn't want it. I didn't want money my father paid my mother to stay away from me. Iris said…she set up trust with Jim Walsh, so I didn't blow my trust all at once. Then she told me, to make a nice life for myself. That she wanted me to be happy. I worried about her, she looked so sad and lonely. She reassured me, she was fine. She had her treehouse, her spirit, she would be fine like she had been for the last 11 years. Iris was a simple woman now. She had to support herself. My mom used to be the kind of woman that wore Chanel and knitted suits. She spent money like it was going out of style and was a lot like my father back then. Now she was down to earth, well in the clouds but not superficial. She learned to survive. I looked up to her. She said hang on to that one Dylan. Brenda is a keeper. She'll bring you down from the clouds when you need it. She wasn't your average Scorpio and she loved me. She would be my greatest supporter. Hey look at that my mom and I actually agreed on something. My mom…it feels good to say that. Brandon took me to that meeting. I'm back in AA and it feels good to be here again. I owe it to Brenda…the Walsh's…my mom…most importantly…I owe it to myself. This time feels different, this time I have something to better myself for._

 _Dylan_

Eliot smiled as she hugged the book against her chest. She respected her father more reading this journal. Not that she didn't adore him already but there was something about peaking into his life and mind, that just made her heart soar for him. Her mother too. She had so far been through a lot with him, she had a feeling that was just beginning. She gave her father a chance. She never turned her back on him. She could learn a few things from her.

A knock interrupted her thoughts, "Hey…El?" Aidan appeared at her doorway. His hands in his pockets. He leaned against the frame looking delicious in black jeans and a white t-shirt. He smiled at her.

"Hey." she smiled back, setting the journal down on her end table. "Whats up?" she asked him.

He blew out the breath he was holding making his way into the room. He sat beside her and brought his hand to her leg.

"You want to go out with me tonight? Maybe to the pit…the beach? Where ever?" he looked down nervously.

She took a deep breath, "Like a date?" she smiled.

He returned it, "Yeah…like a date." he said quietly.

She nodded shyly, "Sure…I'd like that."

He nodded once, "An hour?"

"Okay." she agreed. She looked into his eyes. Them staring back at her like a window. He smiled again at her as he got up. She watched him leave and that moment in time, she knew, she knew what this date meant. They might be going as friends…but they weren't coming back as such. Eliot knew that it would take time. It would take time to get back to where they were before this Audrey mess but…Aidan was her guy. She owed him a chance. She may always regret it if she didn't. She was his biggest supporter after all.

Brenda sat on the floor looking through boxes. Shopping bags littered her bed leaving no room to sit. She set out three pictures of her and Stuart, like she had promised Aidan. He'd get a kick out of them. Two of them were from her parents 20th wedding anniversary. The night he proposed. They were posing with their arms around each other, dancing and having a good time. Another one, the photographer had caught a kiss or right before it. As Stuart held Brenda flush against him, there lips centimeters apart, they both had their eyes closed, they looked comfortable and happy. As she looked closely, she noticed something she hadn't paid attention to before, She saw Dylan in the background. Staring at them. A look of total despair on his face.

"Hm," she huffed, "Not jealous my ass." she murmured setting the picture to the side. The other one was of Brenda and Stuart at there non wedding dinner. They danced closely. Stuart's lips were attached to Brenda's neck as she smiled. He was a nice guy. She sighed sadly setting that one aside too. Dylan leaned against the door frame watching her.

"Is it safe to come in?" he joked. Dylan had gone surfing with Byron all afternoon, he had given her space when he returned, knowing she was in their bedroom. He thought the space was enough for the day.

Brenda looked through pictures not looking at him, "I don't know…is it?" she said calmly, her voice tranquil and quiet.

"Look Bren." Dylan exhaled coming into the bedroom. "I'm sorry I mentioned talking to Kelly about stuff that isn't even my business. I know why you are angry and that's the last thing I want to do." he sat beside her on the floor. His hand came to her hair as he pushed it away from her face. "You know how much I love you. I don't like hurting you. I don't like this silent treatment and I hate fighting with you." she looked up at him. She saw true honest raw emotion behind his light brown eyes. She smiled at him.

"I'm sorry too. I know you love me. I shouldn't have been so angry." she breathed. "You were right to a point. This Kelly and Brandon shit is ridiculous. Someone should talk to her but not you alone Dylan, it's not your job." he nodded knowing she was right.

"Maybe we can do it together?" his hand gripped her neck gently. She looked at him.

"Maybe." she uttered looking back down at the box. Not wanting to discuss it further for now.

"What are you doing?" he huffed out a laugh as he picked up a picture of the two of them by his car in college. He smiled as he looked at them. Arms around each other. Brenda's hand in his pocket, inappropriately. "Look at you copping a feel." he joked and that made Brenda laugh as she leaned in to look at the picture. "Are you reminiscing?" he looked at her sweetly, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek.

"I told Aidan I had a couple pictures of his dad. I thought he'd get a kick out of them." She reached for the 3 pictures she had found and handed them to Dylan.

He rolled his eyes as he looked at them. "You kept these?" he didn't look at them long as he dropped them with a huff to the side of them. "You know…if I had a box of old girlfriends pictures lying around you'd poison my chicken adobe." he gave her a look.

Brenda laughed, "You know I would." she laughed. "And don't pretend you don't…I know you have one in storage. Nice try." she shook her head.

Dylan chuckled, "That's why it's in storage…gathering dust and water damage probably." he picked up a journal from the box he had never seen before. "What's this Bren?"

She snatched it quickly, "Oh my god." She whispered, "I forgot I had this." she opened it up and read the first page. "My journal I started writing in college. I found that old journal from the 60's in my window seat at home, you remember I told you about it once. After that I decided I was going to write in one." she flipped through it, "It was short lived though. I think I kept it up for a year maybe two." She read the page and smiled.

"Can I read it?" he played with her hair gently, watching her. She amazed him daily.

She looked down shyly and shrugged, she closed it and handed it over to him. He opened it to a random page and read silently. His heart broke. He looked up to see Brenda looking at him. Her face sad and serious, he began to read it out loud.

" _Dear Diary,_

 _They are still together. Kelly and Dylan. I don't get it. They barely get along. I see the look he gives me. I see through him. Why wont he admit he still loves me? Maybe he always kind of will. I miss him. I miss his embrace. I miss the way he hums when we cuddle, I don't even think he knows he does it. The way my stomach flips when he kisses me. When he touches me. He made me feel like I was the most precious, beautiful girl in the world. Now she feels it, not me. I remember every little thing, I don't know if thats normal. If he was sitting here right now I would tell him, I remember the scent that you left on my pillow. The sound of your heart beating with mine, The look in your eyes like a window, The taste of your kiss soaked in wine. Every little thing…I remember every little thing. The high, the hurt, the shine, the sting of every little thing."_ Dylan looks up, tears in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me this stuff? Bren…I would have…"

Brenda shakes her head, "You would have what Dylan? Dumped her? I doubt it. I couldn't…you had chose but there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't miss you. The truth was Dylan, I couldn't be mad at you forever because that would mean you wouldn't be in my life. I would have taken you back in a second. But you know that already." Brenda looked down grabbing more pictures going through them.

"Brenda…if I would have known. If I would have known that you would have given me that chance. I would have taken it. I missed you too, I remembered every thing too." Dylan brought his hand to her cheek. He stared into her eyes.

Brenda smiled at him. "I know baby. it wasn't the right time."

Dylan's hand dropped from her face as he exhaled sadly. He looked around at the shopping bags that littered their bed. "Jesus woman…did you buy out Rodeo Drive?"

Brenda laughed out loud, "You know I shop when I'm upset." she tried to justify. Dylan chuckled as he brought one of the 6 bags down to the floor. He reached in grabbing a pair of jeans. He looked at them with an eyebrow raised then looked at the price tag.

"$939 for a pair of jeans?" he said loudly. "What the hell do they do, give you oral pleasure as you walk in them?" he tossed them on he bed and rummaged through the bag more.

Brenda laughed, "No…I have you for that." she smirked.

"Damn right." he agreed then he pulled out the black lace teddy, "Oh hell…" he held it up. He whistled, "Now this…I like."

"I thought you might." she tossed the pictures back into the box and got up. She carried the box back to her closet and set it in the high shelving she had in their walk in. She leaned against the door frame watching Dylan hold up the teddy. She smiled.

"You gonna stand there looking sexy or are you going to try this on for me?" Dylan's eyes met hers in a hungry stare.

She walked seductively over to their bedroom door, closing it, locking them inside.

"The kids here?" she asked.

He smirked and shook his head, "Eliot and Aidan went to dinner and By went to Emma's."

She smiled wide, alone…for once as she walked towards him. She stood over him as she took the teddy out of his hand as he looked up at her. She took 2 steps back, tossing the teddy on their bed. She grabbed her t-shirt and brought it over her head. Next her fingers came to the button on her jeans. She stared at him as she pushed them down her thighs. Stepping out of them easily. Her hand came to the back claps her bra as she unhooked herself with ease. She let the bra fall off her shoulders to the floor effortlessly. Dylan eyes drank her up. His eyes following down her frame hungrily. He inhaled shaking his head. This woman would always turn him on. Even after close to 30 years, she still did things to him. She hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties. Her eyes never leaving his as she pulled them down her legs slowly. She watched Dylan's eyes lower down her body. Stopping at her heat as he licked his lips. It was quick as Dylan got up and sprung at her. His hands were all over her as she smiled.

"I haven't even put the lingerie on yet." she protested.

"I don't I've a damn, you look sexy as fuck and I want you." he uttered as his lips found her neck, his hand gripped her breast roughly. She giggled and then closed her eyes. She breathed out feeling the familiar butterflies she always got from Dylan. The ones that fluttered around wildly, tingling down where her need was. Dylan kissed her forcibly, as Brenda moaned out. She kissed him back with wild abandonment as they fell with a bounce on their bed. Shopping bags thudded to the floor but neither of them cared. Dylan hovered over her, kissing down her hot and ready body. His tongue flicked out over her nipple as she arched her back.

"Dylan." she whispered with need. Dylan smiled against her stomach. He loved the way she said his name in the throws of passion. He moved lower lissing the inside of her thigh, opening her legs wide as he settled between them. She propped herself on her elbows and looked down at him, his eyes staring up at her. He smirked and then leaned in. Taking his tongue and licking her heat gently. Brenda moaned as her head fell back. He lapped at her slowly. Moving his tongue in circular motions, the way he knew she liked it.

"Oh god." Brenda whispered as she plopped her back to the bed. Her hand came to his head as she gently played with his hair. She pushed herself into him, he sped up. pushing her legs towards her chest as he devoured her. His hands held her legs there roughly as Brenda moaned out. He sucked her into his mouth, she trembled against him. He pushed his face into her core and groaned, he flattened his tongue against her, licking her up and down at a impressive speed. She arched herself into him. She couldn't get close enough. She moved with his rhythm, as she held on to his head for dear life. He drank her in. Enjoying the sounds she made, the way she looked, her mouth opened in a O. Her eyes squeezed shut as she moaned softly. He sped up more. Alternating with pressure, circles and speed. She moaned out loudly now and he smiled against her. He liked when they didn't have to hold back and be quiet when the kids were home.

"God…oh god…baby…I'm going to cum." she chanted out like a prayer. He kept his pace, grabbing her right breast in his hand and squeezing hard. Then he sat up. She looked at him, her eyes disappointed he stopped. Before she could protest, he grabbed her hips hard and pulled them to him roughly. Brenda slid almost a foot on the bed towards him. She smiled, the excitement in his eyes as he plunged into her. His head fell back in ecstasy as he pumped into her quickly. Her breast bouncing feverishly as he fucked her quickly. She moaned over and over feeling the pending orgasm come back to life, close again. Dylan's grip on her thighs amount painful as he looked down at where they connected. His eyes closed as he drove into her quickly hard and fast.

"God damn." he grunted keeping his speed. He let her legs fall open as he leaned down, taking her lips to his. His tongue pushed into her mouth as they kissed painfully hard, he kept the rhythm. The sound that came out of Brenda seemed foreign to her as he kissed her neck, plunging into her deeper. The feeling of bliss spreading all over her body, warm, tingling delight, pulsing through her. Then the sensation met in the center as it exploded. Dylan grunted out a long sexy groan as he hammered away as her orgasm pulsed through her, squeezing at him pulling himself over the edge with her as he spilled into her hard. Her body became limp as she came down, Dylan stilled with a grunt and a tremble against her. His lips against hers as he breathed into her mouth. They tried to catch their breath. Foreheads against one another, breathing their hot breath into each others mouths.

"Fuck baby." Dylan breathed out. His eyes tightly shut, trying to collect himself. They didn't always cum at the same time, but when they did, it was always like this. Intense and powerful. Dylan breathed heavily as he looked down at her, she opened her eyes in time to see his looking into hers. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Her chest rising and falling against his, still out of breath. She kissed him gently as she held him close.

His hand came to her head, he pushed back her hair looking into her eyes, still attached to her in every delicious way.

"Every time with you is like the first time." he whispered. "You know how much I adore you right?" he asked, the thing with Kelly and her anger with him coming back to the forefront.

She nodded once and smiled, "I do."

"You are everything to me Brenda…everything." he emphasized.

"You're my everything too baby." she whispered back heart felt. They looked into each others eyes for a minute longer. Dylan finally pulled out of her and settled into her side. He pulled her closer to him as she rested her head against his chest. The comforting silence surrounded their room as they enjoyed the closeness. They reveled in it, taking advantage of having the house to themselves.

"I love you so much." Brenda whispered, breaking the silence.

He smiled and kissed her head, "Love you too." he said simply. Dylan thought about something. He wasn't sure he should bring it up.

"Bren?" he asked hesitantly.

"Hmmm?" she hummed moving her chin on top to rest on her hand that lay on his chest. She looked at him.

"What happened in New York?" he asked shyly.

Brenda swallowed hard, "Fucking Valerie." she mumbled as she got up. Dylan stopped her.

"Bren…come on?"

"I don't ask you about all the women you have been with Dylan. We all know there is a reason you're so good at this part." she rolled her eyes moving away from him again.

He pulled her back forcibly, "You know everything about me." he said hurt. "Why aren't you letting me in on this part of your life. I thought I knew everything about you, I want to know."

Brenda sighed looking into his hurt eyes. She shrugged, "There is not much to tell. I ran into Valerie in the city when I was living there. We got close and lived together in the upper west side while I was doing an off broadway production. We told each other everything, She told me about her life and struggles here in L.A. I told her about my life in Beverly Hills, with you in London, why we broke up." She looked down and cleared her throat. "We became best friends."

"Alright." Dylan's hand came to her back as he rubbed it gently. "The guys? meaningless sex?"

Brenda groaned, "This is embarrassing." she sighed. "Valerie taught me how to let loose a little. We went out downtown and stayed up late. We drank and I smoked pot for the first time." Brenda chuckled as Dylan rolled his eyes with a smirk. He knew Valerie and her pot head tendencies. "I don't know. I felt free for once. I let loose, partied and partook in one night stands." She shrugged. "I sowed my wild oats, tried her life for a little." Brenda looked down.

"I don't know if thats something anyone should ever do. I love Valerie but look how lonely she is. We both know that act is just that…an act." Dylan said listening to every detail Brenda told him.

"I know." she said simply. "I was tired of being a goody too shoes. So I had fun. Released my inhibitions. Tried to forget about you after you left me in London."

Dylan breathed out, guilt evident on his face, "I'm sorry Bren."

"Don't be." she shook her head. "It was fun for awhile…but…all the meaningless sex in the world didn't make your memory disappear."

Dylan pursed his lips with a smirk and brought her into him. He kissed her softly. Then it occurred to him, he pulled away and looked at her again, "How much meaningless sex are we talking about?"

Brenda laughed, "Not as much as you…that's for sure." she joked. Dylan grabbed her, tickling her side as she giggled out loud. Then she settled next to him.

"Hmm." Dylan hummed, "You and Valerie do Manhattan." he joked. Brenda smacked him in the chest, the slap echoed through their room.

Dylan laughed, "I'm kidding. What kind of numbers are we talking about here?" he asked knowing she may hit him again.

Instead Brenda giggled, "Why how many people have you been with?" she asked not sure she wanted to know.

"I haven't a clue, 20...30 maybe." Dylan guessed.

"Gross." Brenda looked at him, repulsed but pleasantly surprised Dylan was't in the hundreds.

"Thats not even bad. Come on...tell me how many?" he begged with a smirk.

Brenda shrugged, "Maybe 9." She looked at him nervously, like he would suddenly think she was a whore.

"Hm...9. I guess I can live with that." Brenda smiled hearing him say almost relieved, as she cuddled closer to her husband. He didn't make her feel bad for her wild time in New York. She wasn't sure why she hadn't wanted him to know. At least they both knew those numbers hadn't grown in the 17 years they'd been together.

"You were the best." Brenda whispered telling the truth. Dylan's smile grew as he kissed her head. He nodded against it hugging her tighter.

"Better than Stewy." Dylan's voice high as he made fun of their courtship.

Brenda laughed, "Yes...better than Stuart. You're so jealous of him, it's so stupid." She laughed.

He didn't deny it for once as he chuckled. "You know...you were the best too. I know you don't believe it but you were. It's impossible to not be when you're with someone that consumes your whole heart."

Brenda smiled to herself. She didn't say anything as her heart soured, she felt exactly the same.

They spent the remainder of the evening kissing and talking. Like they used to. Like they did before kids, back in their London days. It may not have ended well but there was a lot of fond memories there. Ones that they would continue to reminisce about for years to come.

 _Ta TAAAA! So another chapter. You hear a little about Brenda after they broke up the third I guess time. We see some hot sexy action from these lovers, we see Val and Brenda at their finest. And we see Eliot forgiving and maybe taking Aidan back. We also finished The Necessity of a mother in the journals. I'm trying to get through season 2, so we can all get to what we really want to read. Season 3 shady asshole Dylan. I know. I do too. Patience is a virtue, and I'm biting at the bit too. Please review…I love them so much. You guys are all so great! Thank you from the bottom of my heart._


	20. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 19**_

 _ **The Cat's Out Of The Bag**_

Dylan set down his newspaper and reached for his coffee cup. Finding it empty he sighed and got up to refill his cup. The door bell sounded, he was taken back. Usually the gate rang first. He set down his mug and went to answer it. He opened it surprised to see Kelly staring back at him.

"Hey Kel." Dylan smiled surprised to see her.

"Hey Dylan…is Brenda home…I didn't see her car."

"No…but she should be soon…she is just out running some errands. You want to come in?"

Kelly nervously nodded and moved past Dylan. "You want some coffee?" he asked as he closed the front door.

Kelly nodded and followed Dylan into the kitchen. She watched Dylan pour two cups of coffee and carry them over to the kitchen table where she joined him.

Dylan brought the mug to his lips. He took that second to take Kelly in. She looked tired, not her usual out together self. "Aren't you suppose to be at work or something?" he smiled at her.

She smiled back and looked down into her mug, "Personal day."

He nodded and set down his cup. He leaned his elbows on the kitchen table and watched her. "What's wrong Kel?"

"Nothing." Kelly answered too quickly. Dylan looked at her unconvinced.

"This have to do with a certain husband of yours?"

Kelly sighed, she nodded. "Things are just so confusing right now."

"Because you and Brandon slept together?" Dylan smirked at the shocked expression on her face.

"He told you!" it wasn't a question, "And here I was trying to figure out how to talk to Bren about it, I assume she knows too?"

Dylan nodded, "Bran came over here yesterday morning. He wanted advice." Dylan told her the truth.

"Funny…he didn't stick around long enough for the awkward morning after conversation." Kelly looked sadly into her cup of coffee again.

"He feels bad about that Kel. He truly does. He just freaked out."

"This is weird talking to you about." she said quietly.

"Why's that? We're friends."

"Are we?" Kelly thought about how her and Dylan hadn't been friends in a very long time.

"Of course…we're family Kel. We've known each other for a long long time."

Kelly nodded absently, "I'm just trying to wrap my head around all of this. He seemed to be into it. But the lack of him there the next morning points to something entirely different."

"I don't think Brandon knows what he wants right now. Maybe give him some time. I think we both know him well enough that Brandon always does the right thing. I know he still loves you Kelly."

"He sure has a funny way of showing it. I don't even know what happened. He didn't really tell me why he decided to really end things. He just said he couldn't do this anymore. Then he is mentioning divorce?"

Dylan looked down nervously. Silence filled the kitchen "Dylan? Do you know something?"

Dylan shook his head lying. Kelly didn't buy it. "Come on Dylan. You say were friends…but why would you keep something like this from me? Tell me."

Dylan rubbed the back of his neck wishing Brenda would come home. "Dylan…please." he looked into her eyes. Tears brimmed them slightly.

"I guess Brandon didn't think your heart was 100% invested in the marriage." he tried to think of other ways to tell her.

"I don't understand why? I mean sure maybe since having kids…after time passes I'm guilty of not setting aside enough time to connect and spend time together but it happens. Right?" Kelly looked hopeful. "You and Bren don't spend every waking hour together. right?" Dylan swallowed hard.

Dylan's silence gave the answer to Kelly, "Of course you do." she said under her breath then she sighed loudly. "I didn't think Brandon was the type of guy that would give up on me. All because life gets in the way."

Dylan leaned both elbows on the table again, "I don't know how to tell you this Kel…it's uncomfortable for me." She watched him look down and fidget a little. "It's just been so long since this topic even came up."

Kelly reached and set her hand on his arm tenderly, "What is it?"

"All those years ago…after Donna and David got married. I know I hurt you. Everything just kind of happened so fast."

Kelly pulled back her hand and swallowed hard, "You mean cheating on me with Brenda?" her eyebrow raised teasingly.

"You were with Brandon too."

Kelly smirked and shook her head, "No actually I wasn't. We enjoyed the reception and caught up. I tried to find you, to go home but you were no where to be found, you were no where to be found for days actually. I ran into Brandon, a few days after the wedding, he told me Brenda was in town as well…then I knew where you were."

Dylan looked down, he wasn't sure what to say. It had been 17 years since this happened, he didn't really know how Brandon and Kelly had gotten together, he was too busy rekindling things with Brenda. He always assumed their story resembled theirs. "I'm sorry things ended that way. I didn't plan for that to happen."

"You let it happen." Kelly said under her breath.

"Kel." she looked at him, she had a look that he had forgotten, a look of hurt and jealousy that came back to him like a mack truck. He'd seen it enough times, especially when it came to Brenda. "I don't know what to say." he looked down. Talking to Kelly was a bad idea, he didn't believe Kelly harbored those feelings and now he wasn't so sure. This conversation was making him uncomfortable.

Kelly got the vibe right away, "Look just tell Brenda I came by. She can call me later." Kelly nervously got up.

Dylan got up too. "Kelly." he stopped her, he stood closely in front of her. It just kind of came out, "Brandon thinks you still have feelings for me but I told him that was ridiculous. It's ridiculous right?" Dylan swallowed hard, afraid for her to answer.

Kelly stared at him, confusion on her face. What was this? Dylan seemed so happy in his life with Brenda. What was he doing? Did he have feelings for her still?

"Mom…Dad?" Eliot called out as she entered the front door. Dylan stepped back from Kelly as his daughter walked into the kitchen. He looked down and set his hands in his pockets. Kelly cleared her throat.

"Hey Eliot." she said nicely.

"Hi Aunt Kelly." Eliot looked at them, her eyes going back and forth looking at the awkwardness that surrounded them both. "What's going on?" she asked quietly knowing she had interrupted something.

"Kelly came to talk to mom." Dylan said quickly.

"Yeah…Dylan said I could wait for her but I got to go. Um…I'll call her later." Kelly said nervously then turned quickly to leave. Eliot's eyes watching her. What had she just walked in on? Where was her mother? Why were they standing so close? The front door shut as silence filled the kitchen.

"What's going on dad?" Eliot set her backpack on the kitchen stool and stared at him.

Dylan shook his head, "Nothing. How was school?" he changed the subject and avoided eye contact as he walked over grabbing both coffee cups. He ignored her stare and went to rinse them setting them into the dish washer.

"Fine…where's mom?" Eliot did not like this. Usually her father was honest with her. He was hiding something and it involved Kelly.

Dylan turned from the sink, he was drying his hands. "Out running some errands, she'll be home soon." he tossed the dish towel on the counter. He walked towards Eliot, kissing the side of her head and left the kitchen without another word. He was keeping a secret and she knew her father well enough by leaving the subject was off limits.

Eliot had never seen her father alone with Kelly. Never seen them talk to one another unless it was a group type setting. She thought about the conversation in the kitchen with her mom. When Brenda told her about how her heart broke when her father didn't pick her, even all these years later her mother teared up talking about it. She knew her mind was running crazy with scenarios. She also knew she walked in on a private conversation but it wasn't like she had caught them kissing or anything. She grabbed her back pack to head up to her room. Even after hearing from her parents that Kelly and her dad had been involved…twice actually, she still couldn't picture it. She reached for the journal that sat on her bedside table. She opened it where she had kept her place. She flipped through it. Her mother and father were together all of Junior year by the glance. Her father talked about dates, going to meetings, how much he loved her. Something about a trip, a weekend in Baja, she remembered her father saying something along those lines when Byron wanted to take Emma. She kept skimming, as she hit the end of the school year. Summer, sneaking around, and then something about a Paris trip. She was going to read it, but something brought her to August 19, 1992. She swallowed hard.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I spent the night on the beach with Kelly. I have to admit this summer has been good hanging out with her. I'm ashamed to say that until Kelly brought up Brenda this morning on the beach. I hadn't thought about this part. As Andrea came around the corner at the beach, Brenda finding out finally crossed my mind. I pussy footed around and lied to Andrea. It just proved more that sneaking around behind Brenda's back was a bad idea. My heart is for once conflicted. I like being with Kelly. She is fun and sexy. Everything is so god damn easy with her. This summer I haven't had to deal with Jim Walsh. I have to admit THAT'S been really nice. Kelly is trying to downplay this summer. Downplay that we've spent time together and connected. I haven't connected with another girl besides Brenda. It's scary. The guilt is eating at me now. As I listened to Kelly say I've worked hard to fix my reputation and that Brenda is her best friend, that I'm going to realize just how much I love her when she steps off the plane. I wonder if she is right. It has been out of sight out of mind this summer. 6 weeks seems like an eternity. Looking at Kelly now…I kind of don't want it to end. Cindy called a little while ago and invited me over to a welcome home party for Brenda and Donna. I'm gonna go, I have to see what all this means. Am I going to look at Brenda and realize how much I love her or will I look at Kelly and see something more than friendship? I'm going to find out._

 _Dylan_

Eliot sniffed and wiped the tear that escaped. Getting into her fathers head at this time reminded her of Aidan. Coming back from Spain with Emma. Seeing him be overly nice to her until she found out about his and Audrey winter break together. She sighed as she thought about what she walked in on. The truth was her father liked Kelly. She could se it in his words. She didn't want to skip, she wanted to read their love story but after seeing her father alone with kelly. She wanted to see how this played out.

 _August 20, 1992_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well…Kelly was right. I walked into the Walsh's house just as Brenda and Kelly were coming down the stairs. She looked hot, in a black tight tank top and jeans. She was a sight for sore eyes. Her smiled when she saw me hit my heart. She ran down the stairs and jumped into my arms. I knew it had been 6 weeks since her parents were freaking out about us but when her lips connected to mine. I didn't care that they were there anymore. I welcomed her home how I knew how. By holding her tight against me and kissing her senseless. I had even forgot Kelly was behind her, until Brenda and I broke apart for air, I realized she had moved into the living room. We all hung out and Brenda and Donna told us about their trip. Brenda asked me to stay while everyone was getting ready to leave. My eyes hit Kelly's and guilt rushed over me again. The feelings that I was having for Kelly were still there but now Brenda was in there too. I had missed her. Kelly was acting nonchalant and ours eyes would meet. It was like she was looking whisfully at me and I was feeling like an asshole. After we said goodbye to Kelly, I was sort of glad Bren and I were alone. I was helping her with the dishes and she kept bumping her hip with mine. She looked at me, like she wanted to eat me alive and I liked it. The butterflies swam around like they always had. She kissed me deeply and for once since she left for Paris, I wanted her. I admitted to her out loud I had kind of forgot what she was like. Brenda was a wild cat and she may act innocent but she was anything but. Sex before she left for France was passionate and intense. We had done about everything together and we had been together so long it came so natural to us, to explore the physical part of our love. Things had been so intense those last couple months I had forgot this side. The carefree sexy side. She looked happy and relaxed. She kissed me with wild abandonment and smelled amazing. She asked me if it was coming back to me. As I looked at her up and down, I told her the truth. It was coming back to me. It was coming back like a rush of fresh air. She had bought me a present. An amazing gold charm for my watch chain. It was unscripted with a D and on the back it read_ _jet'aime_ _Brenda. My heart grew even bigger and I officially felt like shit. Brenda was my everything before this trip. How could I have allowed myself to forget about her? I told her I should have gotten her something. Guilt ridden and saddened. She didn't understand why I would but in my mind it would have been like, hey I love you…I missed you…I'm sorry I fucked up. I told her that I loved her too in French, because I do. We spent the remainder of the night kissing and touching. We wanted each other so bad that she even whispered to me that she wanted to go back to my place and show me just how much she had missed me. I knew that wasn't going to happen because it was her first night back. We made plans to meet at the beach today. I realized last night, I may have made a horrible mistake. Like I said the feelings I was having for Kelly before were still there but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling in my heart for Brenda. I wanted to repeatedly show her, go out of my way for her. I just hoped she wouldn't catch on that I was a guilty shit head that had screwed around behind her back. Kelly wants to keep what happened a secret and at first I didn't want to hide it. Now…I'm not sure I want Bren to ever know. Would I have really given this up for Kelly? I guess the simple fact Kelly doesn't want to means I'll never have to find out. Something in the pit of my stomach though...is yelling that things won't ever be the same either._

 _Dylan_

"What the hell happened Dylan?" she heard her mother yell. She closed the book quickly. She got up and tip toed to the top of the stairs. "What was she doing here?" venom in her mothers voice.

"She came over to talk to you. I knew she wanted to talk about Brandon so I asked her?" he said back. He was speaking calmly, explaining.

Eliot held her breath. Obviously the first thing that happened when her mom came home was her father telling her about his conversation with Kelly.

"What did she say?" she knew by her mothers tone she was pissed.

"She said Brandon hadn't really explained his reasoning for ending things. We talked a little about Donna and David's wedding. How much I had hurt her during that time was evident. I apologized that I hadn't meant for it to happen, it just did."

"Just happened?" Brenda said with attitude behind her hurt voice.

"You know what I mean Bren."

"Do I Dylan? Didn't mean to happen…it just did? What the fuck is that about?" Her mom was cussing, she was livid.

"Oh come on Brenda!" her fathers voice raised. "You know what I mean."

"I can't believe this." Brenda said softly. "It's like going back in fucking time."

"Bren." her father whispered. "Come here." he begged, she heard kissing…jesus her house echoed. She had to remember that.

"Stop Dylan. You can't just kiss me and make shit better." Make what better? She wished she could see what was happening. She hadn't heard her parents fight much. She had never heard her parents fight like this unless it was over her and Byron.

Eliot swallowed hard trying to listen now that they were talking more quietly.

"Brenda…this shit with Kelly doesn't matter. Me and you are fine, I didn't do anything."

Did her mother not think they were? Did she miss out on some of the conversation?

"I can't believe Brandon was right." Brenda said her tone calmed and normal now.

"Well…she really didn't admit it. She didn't really say anything at all. Eliot came home."

Eliot froze hearing her name.

"I know Eliot was weirded out seeing the two of us together." Dylan said softly.

Brenda huffed, "Well duh…I would have flipped my shit." She heard her father chuckle.

A long silence filled downstairs.

"I hate feeling insecure." Brenda admitted.

Eliot crept down one stair then another. "Bren…you know how much I love you. How much I've always loved you. Whether Kelly has feelings for me or not." Eliot's eyes widened. WHAT THE FUCK? "Nothing changes between us. You and the kids are my whole world."

"I know baby." Kissing sounds made Eliot make a face.

"You have nothing to be jealous of, nothing to be insecure about…not after everything."

"Should we tell Brandon?" her mother whispered.

"I don't know baby…I really don't know." Dylan repeated.

Silence filled the house again. This time she heard more kissing and more I love you's from both her parents.

Eliot snuck back in her bedroom and shut the door quietly. So Kelly came over to possibly express her feelings for her dad? Why would she do that? They were a family. Her father was far from single. Eliot had always liked her aunt. Kelly was always sweet to her but at this moment in time she wasn't sure anymore. The last thought that crossed Eliot's mind was… _what a home wrecking bitch!_

 _A little teaser of season 3 in the journals. Do you think Kelly is still in love with Dylan? How do you think Eliot is going to act around her aunt hearing what she's heard? Tell me what you're thinking._


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 20**_

 _ **The Boy Is Mine**_

Brenda's hand scrubbed furiously at the granite counter top. The music from her Alexa that sat a few feet away on the counter blasting through the kitchen. She moved around quickly, on a mission. She removed the burners from their Viking stove top and started taking her frustrations off on it. She froze as a new song began. She stared at the stainless steel, her reflexion in the already clean and shiny top. She gripped the sponge tightly.

 _You need to give it up_

 _Had about enough_

 _It's not hard to see_

 _The boy is mine_

 _I'm sorry that you_

 _Seem to be confused_

 _He belongs to me_

 _The boy is mine_

Brenda closed her eyes. She was so angry, she was angry at Kelly but she was angry at herself too. She could not believe she was allowing these feelings to come back up again. They had been so far buried that until all of this happened she didn't even recognize this feeling. Now it felt familiar again, just like yesterday. The insecurity Kelly brought to her felt fresh again.

 _Think it's time we got this straight_

 _Sit and talk face to face_

 _There is no way you could mistake_

 _Him for your man, are you insane?_

 _You see I know that you may be_

 _Just a bit jealous of me_

 _But you're blind if you can't see_

 _That his love is holding me_

Brenda threw the sponge against the stove. She breathed out and ran her fingers from both hands through her hair in frustration. She groaned loudly. She came to the counter top setting both elbows on it, her head fell down as she tried to calm herself. The words from the song echoing loudly through the kitchen.

 _See I tried to hesitate_

 _I didn't want to say what he told me_

 _He said without me he couldn't make it_

 _Through the day, ain't that a shame_

 _But maybe you misunderstood_

 _'Cause I can't see how he could_

 _Wanna change something that's so good_

 _All my love was all it took (the boy is mine)_

 _You need to give it up_

 _Had about enough_

 _It's not hard to see_

 _The boy is mine_

 _I'm sorry that you_

 _Seem to be confused_

 _He belongs to me_

 _The boy is mine_

"Bren?" Dylan looked at his wife. Her head down towards the counter. Her body language in anguish.

Brenda slowly raised her head and looked at him. Tears streaming down her face. His expression one of confusion, fear and worry. "Baby? What's wrong?"

Brenda turned from him, her hand wiping her nose quickly. "I can't do this again." she whispered. The music so loud Dylan barely heard her.

Dylan took two steps deeper into the kitchen, "Can't do what?" he asked afraid to hear the answer. Dylan in all the years he had known Brenda, had never seen her like this.

 _Must you do the things you do_

 _You keep on acting like a fool_

 _You need to know it's me not you_

 _And if you didn't know it, girl it's true_

 _I think that you should realize_

 _And try to understand why_

 _He is a part of my life_

 _I know it's killing you inside_

 _You can say what you wanna say_

 _What we have you can't take_

 _From the truth you can't escape_

 _I can tell the real from the fake_

 _When will you get the picture_

 _You're the past, I'm the future_

 _Get away, it's my time to shine_

 _If you didn't know, the boy is mine_

Dylan listened to the words as he stared silently at his wife.

 _You need to give it up_

 _Had about enough_

 _It's not hard to see_

 _The boy is mine_

 _I'm sorry that you_

 _Seem to be confused_

 _He belongs to me_

 _The boy is mine_

 _You can't destroy this love I found_

 _Your silly games I won't allow_

 _The boy is mine without a doubt_

 _You might as well throw in the towel_

 _What makes you think that he wants you_

 _When I'm the one that brought him to_

 _The special place that's in my heart_

 _ **He was my love right from the start**_

He shook his head and moved toward the Alexa. "Alexa STOP." he demanded. Silence filled the kitchen. "Brenda." He breathed out. Her eyes found his. "What's this about?" His voice calm and collected.

Brenda shook her head, she took a deep breath trying to let her anger pass. She took two calming breaths. "Do you know after we broke up in high school, I wanted to say these things to Kelly. This song came out 5 or so years after the situation and when I heard it in London we were together. I listened to the words in private on repeat and pictured one day telling her off, wishing I had."

Dylan moved slowly closer to her, "Why…you had me…in London…even after throughout the years…I was always yours." He said honestly.

Brenda huffed out a laugh, "Maybe…but she had you too."

"Brenda…come on…it's a song. We've been married for 15 years. Why now regardless about what is happening with Kelly do you question anything?"

Brenda walked over to Dylan, she looked into his eyes. "I'm not questioning you, our life or our love. I do however question Kelly and I think after 25 years…it's about time I told her." Brenda moved around Dylan quickly, grabbing her purse.

Dylan reached for her hand, he gently pulled her back, "Not…a good idea."

Brenda pulled her hand back angrily. Dylan stared at the anger in his wife's eyes. "As weird as this may sound Dylan…this doesn't have anything to do with you. This is about a shitty friend, years and years of a love hate relationship. It's about the simple fact that this shouldn't have ever of happened. I may have been too heartbroken and insecure to tell Kelly off back in high school, but I am not now. This is me protecting my family, no matter how secure I am in us it's about principle and I suggest to you…staying the hell out of my way." Brenda turned quickly and left with one plan in mind…giving Kelly a piece of her mind.

Dylan watched his wife leave angrily and slam the door. He feared that this confrontation wouldn't end well.

"Shit." he whispered his fingers gripping his hair roughly,

Dylan reached for his phone. He hit number 4 of his favorites contact list. It rang twice.

"Hello."

"Brandon…I need your help. It's about Brenda and Kelly."

Brenda walked up angrily to Kelly's front door. She knew she was there. She had called the school and knew Kelly had taken another sick day. She pounded loudly until the door opened up under her hand.

"Brenda?" Kelly stood shocked, "What the hell?" this wasn't like Brenda.

Brenda moved past her into her living room as she threw down her purse to the coffee table. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Kelly asked as she shut the door behind her.

"You can't have Dylan." Brenda seethed.

Kelly's face contorted into confusion, "What are you talking about?" Kelly reacted off Brenda's behavior.

"I have stood by and watched you take the love of my life twice, and it's not gonna happen again." Brenda stood her ground. "I won't let you play mind games or play the victim…you can't fucking have him."

Kelly crossed her arms confused, "Look I don't know what kind of problems you are having in your marriage Bren…but don't take it out on me…I got my own marriage problems."

Brenda smirked taking two steps toward her once sister in law, "Oh…the only problem in my relationship with Dylan…is you."

Kelly shook her head, "You know that isn't true. There was your father, other guys, you two both having a wandering eye, your insecurity about sex and the feelings you were having about it, just to name a few." Kelly couldn't help being brutally honest even if it was sort of mean. She saw Brenda's claws coming out and it wasn't like her to sit here and take it. Besides the fact Brenda and Dylan had this life she so desperately wanted and it made her resent her.

Brenda nostrils flared as she breathed through her nose reigning in her anger.

"I mean you can't blame your break up on me entirely. It's not like I did it all by myself." Kelly said defensively.

Brenda nodded, "I'm well aware Dylan pursued you too, but as my best friend at one time, you should have stopped it, he's a guy...they always think with their dicks!"

"I tried." Kelly said calmly.

"You should have tried harder." Brenda yelled.

"My god Brenda…your talking about something that happened over 25 years ago. You won the Kelly, Dylan, Brenda Bermuda triangle, get over it."

"Get over it? Really? Why don't you get over it? Writing in your journal about how much Dylan hurt you when he got back together with me. We all know Kelly…we know you are still in love with Dylan…even Brandon knows. He read your journal. That's why he left you. The craziest thing to me is why you would ruin the life you had with my brother for something you'll never have again."

"My journal?" Kelly breathed…shock in her voice.

"By the way…it was the Brenda…Dylan…Kelly Bermuda triangle, I had him first, you should have never been in it. He picked me Kelly, he married me."

Kelly shook her head, "This is ridiculous, you got knocked up, of course he married you." Kelly said in defense.

"How dare you!" Brenda hand flinched.

"Brenda…that's not what I meant." Kelly back peddled.

"What did you actually mean Kelly…seems pretty clear you're saying the reason Dylan is with me is because I was pregnant."

Kelly shook her head quickly, "No…it came out wrong." she pleaded.

"Kelly?" Brenda's voice calmer now, emotional. Kelly looked up at her long time friend, "Are you in love with my husband?"

Kelly took a deep breath. She swallowed hard shaking her head, she couldn't believe this. "Bren…" she looked down trying to find the right words.

"Are you in love with Dylan…my husband?" Brenda yelled loudly.

"What are you talking about?" Kelly yelled back defensively. She looked down at her feet.

She looked up in time to find Brenda standing in front of her. Brenda took her silence as her answer. Her hand came up, moved across Kelly's face hard as the front door opened.

"Brenda." Dylan called out seeing the confrontation.

The slap echoed through her living room. Kelly's hand came to her cheek. Her face hanging to the side from the force. Dylan grabbed Brenda from behind, pulling her away.

"You…bitch." Brenda whispered, tears streaked her face.

"Come on." Dylan lips came to her ear as Brenda fought his hold on her. "Baby…enough." Dylan said stern.

Brenda angrily threw his arms off of her as she stomped out of the front door. Dylan didn't say anything as picked up Brenda's purse, he passed Brandon silently resting his car keys into his hand to take the car they rode in back to their house. Brandon's lips pursed together as he stared at his wife. Her blue eyes sparkling with tears. Redness on her cheek from where Brenda slapped her.

"Are you ok?" Brandon asked quietly.

"I'm not in love with Dylan." Kelly said seriously, staring wholeheartedly into Brandon's.

Brandon looked down, he took a deep breath, exhaling loudly, "I don't want to even hear it Kel." His eyes closed emotionally, "Please…I just don't want to hear your excuses. This thing of ours, this thing with Dylan…it's old Kel…it's exhausting and old."

He stared at her for another moment before turning to leave.

"Brandon? Please, let me explain about the journal." Kelly pleaded, but all she saw was his back as her front door closed behind him.

Brenda stared out the window of her SUV. Dylan looked over at her, "You want to talk about it?" he asked nicely.

"No." she said emotionless as she watches the landscape around her as Dylan pulls into their long private driveway. He stops the car looking over at her.

"Bren." he exhaled. "I have never seen you like this, please talk to me." his hand comes to the back of her head as he grips it gently. Her eyes meet his.

"Are we together just because I got pregnant?"

Dylan looks at her surprised, "Are you serious? Where did this come from?"

"Kelly…" Brenda begins.

"Wait a second." Dylan interrupts her, "Kelly said that to you?" Dylan voice shocked and angry.

Brenda tilts her head side to side, "Well…it was more of me telling her you chose me…and her saying that I got knocked up so of course you chose me."

Dylan's eyes widened, it takes him a second to rein in his own anger, he shakes his head, "Brenda you know that is not true."

"Do I though? I mean she has a point."

Dylan's body turns towards Brenda quickly, he reaches for her hand, "Kelly doesn't have a point, she doesn't know what the fuck she is talking about. Brenda." he breaths out her name. "17 years ago, you came back into my life. I chose you, I chose you because I loved you. Us being pregnant with the twins was the icing on the cake. We are together because even after all those years, we still loved each other. Because fate brought us back together and gave us a family." Dylan's brings his hand to her cheek tenderly, he leans in and kisses her softly. Their eyes close, their warm lips against each others molding into one another, "You…are the love of my life." he rests his forehead against hers as they close their eyes, "Don't you ever question this." Dylan breaths into her mouth before he kisses her again. "You hear me?" he whispers.

Brenda swallows hard and nods quickly against him. "I'm sorry." she whispers back. Her arms snake around his neck tightly as she hugs him, "I'm sorry." she repeats. Dylan's lips hit the side of her head, then his face buries in her hair.

His lips find her ear, "My Dearest love, I have never ceased nor can cease to feel for a moment that perfect and boundless attachment which binds me to you…"

Brenda smiles as she starts to cry, My Dearest Love by Lord Byron, she knows it well. It's what made her realize how much she loved Dylan still, it's the reason they named their son Byron…It's how he proposed to her. They both flashback holding on to one another.

 _Dylan spins her around as Brenda laughs out loud, "This is so nice. We haven't had a date in forever. We haven't been on a trip in forever. With the twins teething and breast feeding around the clock." Dylan shushes her with his mouth._

 _Brenda giggles, "I'm sorry. I know no baby talk, I promised."_

 _Dylan stares at her lovingly, "Actually…I love how your face lights up when you talk about our twins."_

 _Brenda smiles touched, "Thank you for this. I'm having such an incredible time." Brenda looks around at the people around her, laughing and dancing like they have been. The Mexican samba loud and electric. "Being back here with you…it's really amazing." Brenda gets a little emotional._

 _Dylan smiles down at her. He kisses her softly, his hands move down her back slowly as he gently squeezes her butt. Brenda smiles against his lips._

" _Come with me." he whispers taking her hand. He pulls her out of the cantina grabbing a unopened bottle of champagne from the ice bucket. Brenda holding on to his other hand tightly grabs two flutes as she lets him pull her out into the quiet night. They take a seat on the cool sand and look into the ocean._

 _Brenda exhales and closes her eyes, she takes in the sound of the waves crashing on the sand, the moonlight cresting on the ocean in front of them. "Ah…Baja." she whispers as she hears the faint echo of the music from the cantina. "I love it here." she hugs her legs and looks over at Dylan._

" _Mmmm me too." he reaches for the champagne, and with a pop it's opened and foaming over the top._

 _Brenda giggles and grabs the flutes she borrowed and holds them out. Dylan smiles as he pours them both a glass. He sticks the bottle gently into the sand and holds out his glass._

" _To us…and freedom." he quotes himself from all those years ago, when they were here together, when they were just kids._

 _Brenda giggles again, "To us being us again…even if it's just for the weekend." Dylan laughs as he clinks his glass with hers. They stare lovingly into each others eyes as they take a sip._

 _Brenda happily sighs enjoying the taste. She for one second thinks about the twins staying with her parents as they visit LA but decides not to say anything. To her surprise, Dylan speaks about them first._

" _I love being father." he looks out into the ocean, "I didn't know if I would be any good at it but I really really love it." Brenda stares at the side of his face. Her hand comes to his cheek tenderly, it makes him look at her. They smile. "It's so amazing being parents, they are both so amazing."_

 _Brenda nods agreeing, "You're really good at it." Dylan chuckles and shakes his head slightly embarrassed but loves hearing it._

" _Do you hear that?" Dylan's finger comes up talking about the music_ _, "_ _Sentimientos, nadamas que sentimisntos_ _._ _Tratando de olvidar mis sentimientos de amor_ _."_

 _Brenda smiles widely, "What are the odds? Are you going to sing to me again?" she says playfully. She remembers Dylan singing feelings and chuckles as she takes a sip of her champagne. Dylan gets up and reaches his hand out to her. She looks at him questionably but sets down her glass and reaches to except his hand._

 _They begin dancing slowly. "You know…I never forgot that weekend. I never brought anyone else down here. It just seemed like it was ours."_

 _Brenda smirked, happy to hear this, "I never forgot it either."_

" _Brenda…I have been in love with you since I was 16 years old." he stares into her eyes as they sway slowly._

 _Brenda playfully rolls her eyes, "With lots of spaces and other women in between." she jokes._

 _Dylan looks at her, stares at her serious, "My Dearest Love." he begins and the smiles fades from her face, it's Lord Byron, the poet they named their son after, the poet he recites often. He continues, "'I have never ceased nor can cease to feel for a moment that perfect and boundless attachment which binds me to you, which renders me utterly incapable of real love for any other human being - for what could they be to me after you? Whenever I love anything, it will be because it reminds me in some way of yourself. Like our kids." he adds to it. ''They say that absence destroys the weak passions and confirms the strong ones. Alas, mine for you is the union of all passions and of all affections. A thousand loves to you from me -which is very generous, for I only ask one in return." Dylan lowers himself to one knee, he pulls out a small red velvet box from his pocket. He opens it as it faces her. The moonlight hitting the diamond in a delicious way. "Brenda…you have given me everything I never knew I wanted. You have given my life direction and have given me unconditional love through the years. I have never loved another like I love you." Brenda's fingers come to her mouth as she stares into his eyes, her heart beating fast, her breath filling her lungs, "You are my best friend, my one true love, the mother of my children. You were you, and I was I. We were two before our time. I was yours, before I knew, and you have always been mine too. Forever you have changed my life for the better. I have asked you a million different ways Bren…I love you…I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you…raising our children with you, please be my wife? Marry me?" he whispers the last part._

 _Brenda took in the moment. he had asked a million times, when she told him she was pregnant, in the throws of passion in the bedroom, while cooking dinner, after a fight, even Brenda proposed once herself, nothing compared to this moment. She nods quickly, tears falling down her cheeks._

" _Yes." she whispers emotionally. Dylan smiles as he places the ring on her ring finger. Brenda is on her knees with him, her hands on his face as she kisses him deeply. Their tongues dancing eloquently, in sync. "You're so amazing…thank you." she breathes, "I love you so much."_

Brenda pulls away from him coming back to the present. She looks into his eyes. "Don't you ever question my love for you." he repeats.

She nods, knowing he is right. He has shown her a million different ways she is the one. Who cares about Kelly. After a few beats she pulls at the sun visor to wipe her tears and fix her makeup. Dylan opens her door for her and reaches out his hand.

"Come on slugger." Dylan jokes. Brenda breathes out embarrassed as she accepts his hand. They walk into their home hand and hand.

The two of them sit cuddling as they watch their wedding video. Brenda feeds Dylan a piece of popcorn and kisses him deeply before he even gets a chance to chew. Brandon lets himself in, returning Dylan's car. He looks at his sister and brother in law and smirks. They haven't changed much over the years. The two look at him as he sits on the opposite couch, setting down Dylan's keys.

"You ok B?" Dylan asks sadly.

"I'm sorry Bran…I don't know what came over me."

Brandon shakes his head, he isn't mad. He gets it. "It's ok Bren…you have a long past with this stuff too. I'm sorry I involved the two of you."

"Is Kelly okay?" Brenda asks guiltily. She had ever intention of telling Kelly off, but Brenda wasn't violent. She always taught her kids fighting didn't solve anything. She was embarrassed she let her anger take over. It was just over 20 years of pinned up frustration, she didn't mean to hit her.

Brandon breaths out, "I don't know. She didn't seem physically hurt or anything. Just wanted to explain I guess." Brandon eyed the TV. Him and kelly were with a microphone, his arm tightly around her shoulders. He kissed her cheek a few times as she talked, congratulating Brenda and Dylan on their marriage. Giving her we're so happy for you sentiments. Brenda and Dylan's attention went towards the screen. They watched Kelly and Brandon, flirting and laughing happily. They hadn't seen either one of them that happy in this past year.

TV Brandon gets on the microphone, "I wish you both many years of happiness. I love you both so much. I hope you are as happy as we are." Kelly and him look at one another and kiss for the camera to see. Brandon shakes his head with a huff.

"God that was a long time ago." he looks towards Brenda and Dylan's bar and moves towards it. He pours himself a scotch and takes it down in one gulp. He pours himself another.

Brenda and Dylan look at one another, worried eyes meeting worried eyes. They haven't seen Brandon like this possibly ever.

"I broke it off with Katie." he looks into his drink. "It just didn't feel right. I didn't tell her about the other night with Kelly but I felt guilty. I just told her I was figuring stuff out. She understood since she is going through a divorce herself." Brandon took a sip of his drink. He turned towards them, tears filled his eyes. "I don't know what to do, I fucking miss her." he shrugged sadly.

Dylan paused the video, as Brenda got up. She embraced her brother tightly as he broke down.

"Why can't shit be easy Bren?"

"I dont know." she whispered as she closed her eyes. She held him tightly and let him cry. Brandon was always a together mature guy. He was falling apart and her heart was breaking. They pulled away from each other and Brandon looked down.

"I just got to talk to her…I'm dreading it." Brandon took another sip of his drink. "I just have to figure out what I want I guess." Brenda crossed her arms and watched him. She just couldn't believe this was her brother. Drowning himself in scotch and crying. It was like Dylan…well the old Dylan. "I have the kids this weekend. I just want to have some good family time. Maybe chat with them about all this. What I want aside, my kids are my everything. I can't regret Kelly or my marriage because she gave me them, and for a long long time we were happy." Brandon wiped his tear quickly. Uncomfortable with the break down.

"What if you guys went away? We could come with? Why don't you and the kids, me and Bren…our kids, go Palm Springs this weekend? It's warm this time of year there. The house isn't being rented out right now. It gives us all a chance to hang out. As a family, you could talk with them."

Brandon looked at Dylan, it was a good idea. "You guys want to?" he eyed Dylan then Brenda.

She smiled a small smile at him and nodded. "Yeah that sounds great actually. I mean we bought that place for this sort of thing. It's been awhile since we've all gone."

Brandon finished his drink and nodded, "Ok…I'll tell the kids. That sounds perfect actually. A weekend away with my family is exactly what I need. Thanks guys." He set down he glass and hugged his sister again. He went over to his brother in law and shook his hand. Dylan smiled at him and pulled him into a hug.

"Anytime Bran…that's what family does." he patted him on the back and pulled away. "It will be fun.

Brandon nodded happy with the idea of taking the kids away for the weekend. "I'll ask Valerie too. I mean she's in town and I kind of owe her for ditching her. I mean she's family too."

Brenda jumped excitedly, "Oh my god perfect! This is gonna be great. The house has plenty of room." Brenda always had a blast with Valerie and she knew with her there…there was bound to be drinking and laughing, just what they all needed. FUN!

Brandon chuckled finally having his sad mood lift. "Alright its a plan."

Kelly walked up to Donna's front door. She rang the bell and waited. Tears fell from behind her oversized sunglasses. Donna opened the door with a smile.

"Hey Kel…come in come in." they embraced.

Kelly looked around at the suitcase littering the foyer. She took her glasses off, "Are you guys going out of town?"

Donna looked around at the bags, "Yeah were going to Palm Springs tomorrow. David had called Dylan the other night, wanting to get a basketball game together with the guys but he mentioned they were heading up to their house in Palm Springs. David actually thought that wasn't a bad idea. We hadn't checked on our house there since the summer. So we kind of invited ourselves along. Plus Emma wanted to go with Byron anyway." Donna smiled, but it dropped as she finally took in Kelly's face. Her eyes were red rimmed like she had been crying. "Are you alright?" her hand came to her shoulder.

Kelly shook her head and broke down. "So Brandon is going with Brenda and Dylan then? I knew he was bringing the kids this weekend but I figured maybe he was borrowing the house."

Donna nodded, "Yeah…Kelly what's the matter?"

"You and David…my kids…your kids…Brenda and Dylan and kids…how mushy." Kelly wiped her face quickly.

Donna looked at her long time friend, "Do you want to go?" she saw Kelly's jealousy a mile away. "You can stay with us?"

Kelly shook her head, "No…thanks. Me and Bren…in the same room together. I don't think so."

Donna looked at her weirdly, "Why? I thought you and Brenda were good these days."

"Yeah…I thought so too until she came over my house, excusing me of still being in love with Dylan, then she hit me." Kelly moved her face to the side and showed Donna the red welt Brenda left.

"Wait what? Brenda hit you?" Donna was taken back. "Wait…are you in love with Dylan?" she looked at her friend accusingly.

"No…I'm not in love with Dylan. Please." Kelly shook her head.

Donna's hand came to her back as she led her over to the couch. They both sat, "Alright what the hell is going on? That doesn't sound like Bren at all." Donna chuckled, "I mean…I'm sorry." she covered her mouth laughing, "I mean if Brenda was going to hit you…she would done it years ago." Donna giggled laughing at her own joke as Kelly stared at her. "Im sorry…go on."

"Are you finished?" Kelly shook her head holding in her own smirk. I mean Donna had a point.

"I'm sorry…go on." Donna gave Kelly her undivided attention.

"Alright well…after the fashion show, Brandon and I slept together." Donna's eyes widened, "Brandon left in the morning and we haven't really talked. I've been having trouble with this whole thing so I went over to Bren's to get advice. I mean I was hoping maybe she had talked to Brandon. But Brenda wasn't home, Dylan was." Kelly looked at Donna's face change. "I know what your thinking and no…he asked what was wrong and I told him. He told me that Brandon, thinks I'm still in love with him. We had a weird moment and Eliot came home. All of a sudden Brenda is barging into my house, telling me I can't have Dylan and she slapped me."

Donna's shocked face sat silent. "But…you don't love Dylan?"

Kelly got up angrily, "No Donna. I love Brandon. You know that. I guess Brandon read my journal, and he told them. I don't know what's happening. I tried to explain myself to Brandon but he wont listen to me. What am I going to do?" she plopped back on the couch.

"Why did you write about Dylan in your journal?" Donna asked confused.

"I dont know. It wasn't recent. I haven't written in that thing in forever. It was just because of everything that happened at your wedding. And Dylan being holed up in the hotel with Brenda. It was a long time Donna, it's like he thinks he's second choice."

"Then you need to tell him Kel."

"I'm trying…he won't listen to me. Donna even if I tell him…what if he doesn't believe me? I mean how do I take that insecurity away? I know how it feels, I had it in my whole relationship with Dylan. Always waiting for the other shoe drop, for him to leave, for him to admit he loved Brenda. I get it. That reunion was inevitable. I know insecurity when you think the person you love, loves someone else. I've felt it…but Donna this is Brandon. He isn't wishy washy Dylan. He is my rock. Donna…I can't lose him forever. I was insecure because deep down I knew Brenda was the love of Dylan's life. Brandon is mine." Kelly's hands came to her face as she broke down. Donna just hugged her.

"I know Kel…I know."

"And now you guys are all going to Palm Springs. I feel so left out." she sobbed. "I love Davids grandparents house." Donna chuckled and rubbed her back. David's grandparents had long passed away, he was left the Palm Springs hide away in their will. Dylan and Brenda's mansion was only around the corner. It was called Villa Thornhill. It was the biggest house on the block. They also had a home in Hawaii. Kelly rolled her eyes being jealous that they had that kind of life and she couldn't even get her husband to speak to her.

"I mean…I know its bad timing but you can come." Donna meant well but there was no way.

"You guys have fun Donna. Thanks for listening." Donna watched her saddened friend leave. She took a deep breath. Maybe this weekend, she could talk to Brandon. She would hate to see these two end things for good.

 _So how did you like it? I know no journal entries but there will be next. I mean Eliot needs something for the drive to Palm Springs. haha! Next up Palm Springs. A weekend that's meant to be fun…is but eye opening as well. Tell me what you think should happen. I'm all ears! Anyone surprised by Brenda's behavior. The proposal? Sweet enough? Was Brenda out of line or was it about fucking time? Tell me everything!_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 21**_

 _ **Palm Springs Weekend Pt 1**_

 _October 10, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well Brenda past her driving test today. About fucking time Bren. I was so nervous for her it felt like I was taking it all over again. She was over last night and all she talked about was how she always blew it when it came to parallel parking_. _I kissed her throughly and tried to make her forget all about the upcoming test. Plus with Iris gone now, my sex life is back. HELL YES! So whats better than forgetting your worries in the throughs of passion…absolutely freaking nothing. It worked obviously like a charm. She nailed the driving test and parallel parked like a champ. Your welcome Brenda. God life is good._

 _Dylan_

 _October 12, 1991,_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I went to the Walsh's tonight for a celebration dinner to celebrate Brenda passing her drivers test. I've actually not seen her drive yet, which is weird I even offered for her to drive the Porsche. She declined which sadly I was thankful for. I love you Bren but easy on the clutch. I did get to meet Brandon and Brenda's cousin Bobby. He was very cool and kicked me and Steve's ass in basketball. Brenda told me he was in an accident a few years ago which left him paralyzed from the waist down. I guess Brandon was there. It's hard to imagine, he seems so strong. These little things make you feel thankful. He doesn't let his handicap hold him back. He's pretty inspirational. I hope to keep in touch with him. Like I said he was very cool and it was nice meeting Brenda's family. I haven't met any of them from Minnesota. Honestly things with Bren are amazing. It's like the summer didn't even happen. The time apart didn't matter, the whole thing with my drinking and Iris. It's all gone. Tomorrow we go horse back riding with Bobby. I think Kelly has a little crush on him, which Brenda is worried about. I don't really blame her, Kelly seems self centered but it should be fun. I haven't been riding in a long time. Bren loves horses, maybe someday when were married, we'll buy a couple. That could be fun. Have a little ranch somewhere. Raise our kids. Look at me jesus. Here I am back to being whipped. But shit it feels good. I'd give her anything she wanted. Hmmm Brenda wants a house like David's grandparents in Palm Springs. A couple of horses for her, a ranch for me, a big beautiful home in Beverly Hills. I got my work cut out for me. HAHA! Someday._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up from her fathers book. She looked to the front seat where her dad was driving and her mom sat in the passenger seat. She watched as her mom, who had her hand resting on the top of Dylan's driver seat, moved her hand gently and played with the back of his hair. He looked at her and smirked before kissing the inside of her wrist. Brenda leaned over and kissed his cheek gently, then behind his ear. She whispered something into her fathers ear. Eliot smirked as his smile got huge and he reached over and squeezed her thigh. They were the real deal. Eliot looked down and intertwined her fingers with Aidan. He looked at her and smiled. They had been officially back together for a few days. Things were good. They hadn't taken over exactly where they left off. They hadn't slept together since that night of the date with Stevie. Aidan didn't seem to mind. Eliot wanted to take things slow and he hadn't pushed her into it. It also made it pretty hard to do it when he was still living in their home. Her dad was finally accepting of Aidan. He invited him when him and Byron would go shoot hoops or go surf. Dylan was really trying to be nicer to the him and Eliot didn't want to do anything that would screw that up. Catching her daughter having sex with him in his home would be the recipe for disaster. Plus her parents didn't know they were back together. They had been spending a lot of time together since making things official again but Eliot knew stuff was going on with her parents. They had been preoccupied and Eliot knew it had to do with this stuff with her aunt Kelly. She kind of figured they had planned this weekend as some sort of family get away. Her uncle, Valerie and cousins were following behind. Donna and David were coming too. They would hang out with them the whole weekend but they had their own house down the street. She loved their family's home in Palm Springs. When her family wasn't renting it out, they would come here at least once or twice a year. The house was huge. Had an amazing pool and had a european feel in the middle of the desert. Their home in Beverly Hills was much the same. Big and spacious, a french villa with european architecture and modern decor. She never thought about how rich her family was. She grew up that way. She didn't feel entitled or spoiled but considering her parents had houses in Palm Springs, Hawaii, and indeed a ranch in Rancho Santa Fe, one of the prominent and wealthiest communities outside San Diego, she knew her father had indeed given her mother everything they had ever talked about. Whether she wanted it or not.

"I haven't been to Palm Springs in a couple of years. We used to go all the time." Aidan said out loud. Brenda turned from the front seat and smiled. As Eliot caught her fathers eyes in the rear view mirror.

"I remember your father having a house there, we went one time?" Brenda said remembering. Dylan sighed, in which her mom ignored. "Yeah…I had to pick you up because you got in a fight, isn't that when you guys broke up?"

Brenda rolled her eyes playfully, not wanting to remember that particular car ride where she bared her soul to Dylan, only to be rejected.

Aidan ignored the jab. "Yeah…my grandparents did but my dad would take us every spring. We'd rent a huge villa and spend a whole week there. It was amazing." Aidan looked down sadly. Eliot squeezed his hand, Brenda's eyes flickered down when she saw it. She didn't say anything as she turned towards the front again.

"Oh my god Aidan…I totally forgot. I found those pictures." Brenda laughed as she fished through her purse. She turned handing them to Aidan.

Aidan smiled, "Oh my god…this is great." he looked at them, Byron and Eliot leaned into him and looked.

"Holy crap mom, you dated Aidan's dad?" Byron asked surprised.

Brenda smiled and nodded her head, "I did…I almost married him." Dylan sighed again.

"Seriously? So wait…dad dated Aidan's mom…you dated Aidan's dad and your daughter dated their son. You guys are weird, wasn't there any other families that lived in Beverly Hills?" Byron shook his head and the car laughed.

"It was a long time ago." Dylan murmured, uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Yeah…we were weird." Brenda sighed, "But we were all young. It's a small world." she exhaled thinking about all thats happened in their lives.

Aidan studied the picture, "My dad…he looks so young but the same. He looks like he was really into you." Aidan smiled at Brenda.

She blushed a little and shrugged.

"Well my dad got her." Byron murmured as he looked out the side window. Just as bothered by the conversation as Dylan was. Dylan smirked and the car was silent.

Aidan swallowed hard getting the vibe and handed the pictures back to Brenda, "Thanks Brenda…those were cool to see."

"You're welcome." Brenda faced the front again and placed the pictures back in her purse. The car kept it's awkward silence so Eliot concentrated on her fathers book.

 _October 17, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Not much going on around here. Steve is dating some new girl. She seems okay, pretty even. Steve seems really happy but Brenda doesn't like her. Kelly hates her, but she's jealous that much is obvious. Brenda is fiercely loyal and protective. I saw it with her cousin Bobby last week. I see it with me, her brother and her friends. I had never seen her show any sort of anything with Steve but she thinks Christine is using him. We had a double date. All seemed good actually. Brenda and myself made dinner. She talked about how she never knew how sweet Steve was, how charming and protective he was, how attentive he is. I told her not to get any ideas. Psssh please Steve is Steve. He told me they made out in the limo after the REM concert. Steve is a big mouth and he definitely tells us guys what he does with women. I swear to god if Brenda showed any interest what so ever in him, I'd kick his ass. She's taken. She is my girl and I swear to god it better stay that way._

 _Dylan_

Eliot laughed out loud. Everyones attention went to her in the silence of the car.

"What's so funny?" her mother asks curiously.

"It's just dads book, it's familiar." she giggles. "Was Steve really that bad? It's like reading about Stevie." Brenda and Dylan laughed. Aidan rolled his eyes.

"Steve is sweet." Brenda said but Dylan looked to her quickly.

"Steve is Steve." Dylan murmured.

"Whatever…when Steve likes a girl he is attentive and sweet. Yes Steve is male but he's charming. I see Stevie has the same qualities. Steve was a new man when he met Janet and had kids. He's a stand up guy." Brenda confirms.

"Well…seems dad doesn't like you thinking about Steve like that."

Brenda giggles, "Is this about Christine?" Brenda remembers.

"Yep." Eliot answers simply. "What ever happened to her?"

"Who knows, she showed her true colors to Steve and he kicked her to the curb. She actually compared herself to Julia Roberts in pretty woman, because Steve bought her stuff." Brenda shook her head. "I told her too bad Julia Roberts was a hooker."

The car chuckled. "Anyway Steve learned the hard way but I'm glad it worked out for him in regards to finding Janet. Steve was always a lot of fun to be around, she grounds him though."

"Yeah Stevie is too. I hear him and Audrey are going out…well officially." Eliot looks to Aidan, waiting for a reaction. She doesn't get one.

"Thats nice…have you…talked to Audrey El?" Brenda turns around and looks at her daughter. There is something in her eyes and Eliot knows what it is. Aunt Kelly.

"No." Eliot sighs and Aidan looks down guiltily. "But I wish nothing but the best for them. I knew they liked each other. They just needed a little push in the right direction."

Silence fills the car again. This time Dylan reached over to the back of Brenda's head and grips her neck in some non spoken gesture. She looks at him sadly but doesn't say anything. Seriously it's the weirdest drive to Palm Springs they've ever had.

The ride from LA to Palm Springs isn't a long one. They pull into their Palm Springs villa and start unloading the car, Brandon parking behind them.

"This place is freaking amazing." Valerie comments, "You're a lucky a girl Bren."

Brenda smiles, "This was all Dylan. I didn't have anything to do with this. Plus you should talk missy. I know how much your apartment in New York is worth. Upper west side princess." Valerie laughs.

She sets her arm around Brenda, "You're like Pretty woman." she whispers. "What sexual favors did you have to perform to get this house Brenda?"

Dylan chuckles holding a box with food, "Oh she'll never tell." he overhears them.

Brenda shakes her head, "He's a liar." she swats at his butt hard making him jump and steady the box.

"Oooo…yeah." he comments as he walks up to the house. "I like that."

Brenda rolls her eyes, "I'm glad you're here." she bumps her hip with Valerie then hands her some grocery bags.

"Me too." their attention goes to a Jeep Cherokee passing by as it honks. Valerie smiles and waves seeing David and Donna pass on their way to their own home. She clears her throat, "So…will Donna and David be here much?" she tries to make her voice normal but Brenda smiles seeing through her.

"Yeah they'll unpack and get settled and come over. Tomorrow we'll go over there. David's grandparents house is pretty awesome." Brenda looks at her friend, "Are you okay with this? With them being here?" she asks honestly.

Valerie waves her hand like please, "Oh come Bren…I'm a big girl. Water under the bridge." Valerie passes Brenda carrying the bags to the front door.

"Yeah…water under the bridge." she utters to herself and follows them inside.

It doesn't take them long to get situated. Pretty soon everyone is in their bathing suits enjoying the 80 degree Palm Springs winter weather. The girls sun bathe on the loungers as the guys hang by the barbecue grilling steaks and having beers and or cokes for the kids.

"Jesus…I swear to god Val never ages." David admires her from a far. She is wearing a red bikini, her breasts over filling the top. She is tanned and slim. Her hair much longer than when she lived in Beverly Hills.

Brandon, Dylan, Nate, Byron and Aidan check her out. "My god…she is the definition of a perfect package." Nate says out loud causing his father to look at him.

Brandon smiles, "Easy tiger…Valerie is practically related and way too old for you." Dylan chuckles.

"She isn't really related though." Byron adds taking a sip of his coke as he stares. He is thinking please tell me some of you guys hit that but doesn't say anything, considering his girlfriends father is standing right next to him.

"Well. Valerie is a lot to handle. Perfect package but that girl has a surprise filling." Dylan says as he flips one of the steaks.

"Wait dad…you and Valerie?" Byron is quiet as he looks at his dad, proudly. "Does mom know?"

"Oh she knows." Dylan breathes through his nose. "We didn't date or anything, just hung out…a lot." he takes a sip of his beer. David and Brandon clear their throats.

"Right…hung out a lot." David rolls his eyes.

"Wait…dad…you and Valerie you know..like?"

David laughs out loud. Dylan shakes his head, "I'm not talking about this. Your mother would kill me. We pretend it never happened."

"Uncle Dylan…way to go. I swear I've had dreams about her." Nate receives a smack to the head from his dad.

"Everyone has had dreams about her." David chimes in.

"You should talk…you're the only one that actually had a relationship with her. I don't know how you did it, she's a hand full." Dylan shakes his head.

"You did? My god your group is gross or friendly…both maybe." Byron laughs.

David drinks his beer as he looks at Valerie. Her eyes lift at that moment and meet his. He smiles at her and lifts his beer to her. She winks at him and goes back to talking to the girls.

"Wow…I think she likes you still." Byron bumps his shoulder with his hopefully one dad father in law.

David laughs, they get along well. David is much more laid back then Donna. He shrugs shyly, "Valerie is something, we're just good friends now…plus excuse me…I'm married."

"That we are David…that we are." Dylan hums as he looks at Brenda. She is spraying sunscreen on her body and rubbing it in. She is wearing a black bikini and looks phenomenal.

"Brando…watch these steaks for a second." Dylan hands the spatula to Brandon and walks over to Brenda for a long kiss, before jumping in the water to cool off.

"What about you dad, you and Valerie ever…hang out?" Nate looks at his dad.

Brandon shook his head, "She lived with me through and after college. Valerie is family. I always thought she was attractive but it always proved to be a little weird. We tried once, it never went anywhere and then once when we were here in Palm Springs actually. Valerie was always like another sister to me. I realized on that trip that it was a bad idea to go there."

"Does mom know?" Nate looked at his dad. Their eyes met. Brandon takes a deep breath.

"Yeah…she knew. We were on the outs that trip though."

"What's new." Nate mumbled and walks away.

Brandon sighed as he watched his son retreat away from them. David gripped his hand on Brandon's shoulder. He looked at him.

"He'll be okay." David said honestly.

"I hope so." Brandon turned his attention back to the steaks.

"So…Kelly came to see me yesterday." Donna said nonchalantly as she laid on the lounger with her eyes closed.

Brenda looked over at her, "She did did she?"

Valerie groaned, "What did little miss sunshine have to say?" Valerie rolled her eyes.

Donna sat up and turned her body towards Brenda and Valerie. "She told me what happened the other day." She looked at Brenda.

"Wait…what happened the other day?" Valerie sat up curiously.

Brenda sighed, "It was a long time coming, I just had a few things to get off my chest."

"Oh my god Bren…what happened?" Valerie looked around to make sure the teens were not in ear shot. All of them in the pool.

"I confronted her about Dylan."

"Nooooo." Valerie breathed. "About the journal?" she said quietly.

Brenda shrugged.

"Did you have to hit her?" Donna asked concerned.

"You hit her?" Valerie said too loud and covered her mouth.

"What exactly did Kelly tell you Donna?" Brenda asked curiously.

Donna shrugged, "She said you came to her house and told her she couldn't have Dylan. Then you slapped her."

Valerie moved her legs to the ground, "You have got to be shitting me…thats the most amazing thing I have ever heard." Valerie laughed. "Bout freaking time." Donna and Brenda did not laugh at all.

"Oh so she left out the part where she told me the only reason why Dylan chose me and married me was because I was pregnant? Typical Kel." Brenda shook her head. "Playing the victim." Brenda shook her head.

"She said that to you?" Donna knew there was a piece missing. It wasn't like Brenda to be violent. She hadn't ever seen it and she knew she had reason back in the day.

"That fucking bitch. I swear. She is one to talk. She got knocked up with Brandon at the same time and within 6 months they were married. You and Dylan didn't even get married for a couple years after the twins were born. God she is something else." Valerie shook her head. The hatred for Kelly coming back easily.

"She doesn't love Dylan." Donna said sweetly. "She loves Brandon."

"She loves both of them." Valerie adds.

"I don't think so." Donna sticks up for her friend. "I know you guys have had your problems with her. She has always been a good friend to me but I get it. Dylan is your husband Bren. I probably would have did the same thing if she said that to me." Donna eyed Valerie quickly, then looked back at Brenda.

"Donna…the only reason Kelly was a good friend to you was because your boyfriend was her brother. You didn't have anything she wanted. Kelly Taylor is a selfish bitch that doesn't want Dylan…she just couldn't stand the fact Brenda got him. Pregnancy or not. Kelly isn't happy unless guys are falling at her feet, everyone knows that."

Brenda and Donna are quiet. Contemplating the truth that seems to flow so easily out of Valerie's mouth.

Dylan appears moving quickly setting himself between Brenda's legs, wet from the pool.

"Dylan…you're wet." Brenda moves away from him as he kisses her cheek and neck.

"Let me make you wet." he whispers in her ear as he kisses her neck softly.

Valerie laughs out loud, she heard him. "Man I love you guys."

"Come on, come swimming with me." Dylan gets up and holds out his hand, "You look hot." he wiggles his eyebrows at the double meaning.

Brenda laughs and shakes her head taking his hand. She wraps her arms tightly around his neck and kisses him. "You ready Bren?" Dylan's arms lift her off the ground a little.

Brenda giggles as he falls back with her into the pool. They bob for a minute then her legs are around his mid section, arms around his neck as they kiss softly having a moment.

Valerie and Donna smile watching them, "I'm sorry I said those things about Kelly. It's not my business but…" Valerie sighs loudly, "Look at them. It's hard to imagine Dylan with anyone else."

Donna nods, "I know. It's sucks that it has to be this way." She looks at Brandon. "They really do belong together Val. I know Kelly has done a number on the men in her life in the past, but…they have kids. It's not about only them. I hope they work it out." Donna gets off the lounger, "You want to dip?" she asks Val nicely.

"In a minute." Donna smiles and nods as she goes to cool off. Valerie looks at Brandon. He is drinking a beer and chatting with David. He looks like he's having fun but Valerie knows Brandon well enough to know the smile isn't hitting his eyes.

She gets up walking over to them. She stands next to David. He wraps his arm around her waist and kisses her head, "How you doing Val?"

"I'm good." She smiles at him. "What about you Brandon, you got another one of those Coronas?"

Brandon smiles, "That I do." He opens up the fridge outside and grabs her one.

"Well…Bran…me and you are the only single ones at this party. Might as well enjoy it." She smiles at him.

He raises his eyebrow at her with a smirk, they clink the top of their beers together taking a long sip, their eyes staring over their bottles at one another.

 _So the first half of Palm Springs. More to come. Brandon and Nate have a heart to heart…Brenda and Dylan have some cozy time…Donna corners Brandon…BD find out about their daughters on again relationship with Aidan. Stay tuned. Much more drama to come._


	23. Chapter 23

_**Chapter 23**_

 _ **Palm Springs Weekend pt 2**_

The steaks and dinner was amazing. They all sat around drinking wine and chatting on Brenda and Dylan's cozy outdoor dining room. It had seemed like way to much time had passed since they did these kind of trips. The McKay's and Walsh's used to do this all the time. When the kids were little. Brenda sipped her wine and watched Brandon and Valerie laughing and drinking. She was worried about her brother. He seemed to be drinking way more than she had ever seen him. He also seemed relaxed and happy, something else she hadn't seen in a while. Brenda was caught in the middle of her feelings. On one hand she wasn't sure her and Kelly would ever be the same after all of this. How can she route for this couple to work things out? She would be forced again into being around Kelly. Then she looked to the end of the table. Nate was joking around with Byron and Aidan. Alyssa giggling with Eliot and Emma. She loved her niece and nephew just as much as she loved her kids. If it was going to happen she couldn't be against it. Not for the sake of her families happiness even though deep inside her dislike for Kelly was growing by the day.

"Alright." Brandon rubbed his hands together getting up, "I'm going to relax a little in the jacuzzi…whose with me?"

Brenda smiled and shook her head, her brother was feeling no pain.

"Actually…David we should help clean up a little. All this swimming has Ruby over there down for the count." they all smiled looking over at the darling little girl, passed out cold on the patio couch. Donna began to get up to help clear the table.

"Donna…leave it…I got it. Take that precious girl home to her bed." Brenda stopped her.

"Bren…you sure?" Donna looked around at the empty wine bottles and plates.

Brenda smiled, "I'm sure…go."

"Wait…mom I don't want to go yet." Emma said overhearing the adults.

David looked at his watch, it was only a quarter after nine. "I can take her. It's only down he street. I can walk her home?" Byron said nicely. "If its ok with you guys?" he said politely.

Donna looked at David, he smiled nicely and shrugged, he really really liked Byron. "Alright…just because were out of town doesn't mean curfew has changed. 11 o'clock missy." Donna shook her head with a smirk. Young love…she remembered it well.

"Midnight?" Emma smiled brightly, "Daddy…please." she gave a cute pout to David.

David melted, he rolled his eyes playfully and looked to Donna raising an eyebrow. Donna grunted, "11:30." she compromised.

Brenda and Dylan chuckled as they sipped their wine amused. His arm came around her, pulling her into his side kissing her temple. Dylan understood exactly David's dilemma.

Donna grabbed whatever plates were in front of her and carried them into the kitchen. David got up and smiled at Emma, "Be home at midnight…don't worry about your mom…I got it." he winked at his first born. David was a sucker and surrounded by daughters. Donna was definitely the disciplinary.

"Oh…thank you thank you daddy." Emma got up and hugged her father tightly. His hand came lovingly to the back of her head. He kissed it gently. "Don't be late. Byron…make sure you walk her home." he eyes him with a sincere smile.

"I will take good care of her sir." he smiled.

David chuckled shaking his head, "I'm sure you will." the adults laughed as they said their goodbyes. Brandon grabbed what he could carry and brought it in the kitchen. He smiled at Donna as she rinsed a few plates. They were alone, it was Donna's chance.

"Hey Bran." Donna turned and rested her butt against the counter.

"Hey Don…you okay?" he looked at her guilty face. Donna smiled and shrugged. She walked over and set up her position next to Brandon. They looked at each other.

"Kelly came to see me yesterday."

Brandon looked down and sighed loudly, "Come on Don…this is suppose to be a relaxing weekend, I don't want to talk about Kelly." he went to walk away. Donna stopped him.

"I know brandon…I just want to tell you. Kelly loves you. She was very very upset. She doesn't look like she's been sleeping, she had not one stitch of makeup on, you know that's not her."

"Donna…I love you…but what's your point?" Brandon turned towards her and sighed.

"She loves you Brandon…not Dylan. I know about the journal. She explained everything to me. It was a long time ago Bran. You know me…I wouldn't get involved but I believe her Brandon. She doesn't love him anymore. She wrote that stuff when they had spilt up, you and Kelly weren't even together yet, at least not officially. You belong together Bran…Dylan with Brenda…you with Kelly."

Brandon stared at her. He leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. "I know you love Kelly Don…I know you just want what's best. You are a good friend. We'll figure it out, I promise. But not tonight…not tonight." he said simply before leaving the kitchen. Donna watched him leave and took a deep breath, exhaling out. David stopped in the kitchen, holding a sleeping Ruby. He smiled at her, hearing a little of the conversation. Donna shrugged with one shoulder cutely.

"I tried." she said defeated.

"I know babe. Come on." David kissed her temple as they made their way out the front to head home.

Brandon and Nate headed to the grotto Jacuzzi while Brenda, Dylan and Valerie cleared the rest of the table. The kids went night swimming and blasted the stereo.

"You having a good time?" Brandon leaned back into the hot spa, letting the jet soothe his stiff back.

Nate did the same, "Yeah…it's relaxing here."

"Look…Nate…I wanted to talk to you about me and mom." Brandon sat up straight.

Nate looked at his father, pleasantly surprised his father was willing to talk about it. "I know this is hard for you and your sister. It's hard for us too."

"Then why? Why can't you two just talk and work it out?" Nate said emotional.

Brandon moved across the jacuzzi and sat beside him. "Sometimes life isn't that simple Nate. These things can be complicated."

"It doesn't have to be dad…unless…you're just not in love with her anymore?"

Brandon shook his head, "Nate…that's not it at all, far from it." he looked down towards the bubbles, his palm running across them.

"I saw you and mom kiss…at the fashion show. We all saw. I'm not stupid…I know about sex dad…you had that talk with me a long time ago. Did you sleep together?"

Brandon took a deep breath as he looked at his son. His heart broke that this was happening. He wanted to be honest. "Nate." he breathed out.

"You did." Nate rolled his eyes, knowing the silence was the truth.

"I love your mom Nate. I have never loved any woman the way I love her. Since the moment I saw her, I thought she was beautiful and sexy. Then in college, when we started dating, she consumed my whole heart. Just because we are separated, doesn't mean my love or want for her went away. We have a long long history Nate. We dated other people, others came between us." Brandon sighed, "Sometimes love isn't enough."

Nate got up pissed, "Whatever." he whispered.

"Nate wait…talk to me. I want to be able to be honest with you. Don't shut me out."

Nate sat back down, "If you want me to be honest with you…then how come you wont be honest with me? You say you love mom…but you aren't willing to work it out? It makes no sense?" Nate wiped his tear quickly.

Brandon swallowed hard, "I said we have history…we both have history with other people too." he said simply.

"You love someone else too?" Nate said nervously.

Brandon shook his head, "No."

"Mom does?" Nate's wide blue eyes stared at his dad. Brandon couldn't tell him the real truth. It would ruin everything. Spilt families up. Spilt his relationships with his cousins up.

"Nate…it's me okay…blame me. It's my insecurity, my issues, not your moms. I can't tell you everything…but please know I will work things out with your mom, whether we are just friends or whatever. Please trust me on that. We will always be connected. We have children. We have a long long past. Your mother…will always be my soul mate Nate. There is just too much between us for that to go away. Whatever happens just trust in your old man to do the right thing."

Nate's eyes softened. He nodded, "Okay." he said softly. After a few beats he smiled, "I gotta pee." he announced and Brandon nodded, thankful that had gone better than he feared.

"Nate." Brandon called to him as he got out of the jacuzzi. "I love you and Alyssa more than my own life. Don't you ever forget that."

Nate smiled and nodded his head, "I love you too dad."

Brandon watched Nate leave the grotto, a covered private Jacuzzi area that resembled a cave. He sunk down wetting his face and hair as the hot water burned. His hand pushed his hair back as he got up. "Fuck this…I need a drink." he uttered to himself as he made his way out of the cave.

Brenda smiled as she knocked on Eliot's bedroom. The three girls lounged on the bed watching a movie.

"What cha girls watching?"

"Twilight." the girls announced at the same time.

Brenda chuckled, "Ah of course you are." the girls had watched this movie a million times. Eliot was part of this Twilight phenomenon and made Brenda take her to to get every book as they were released. Eliot was only 7 years old when she read the first one. Brenda had to read it first to make sure it was appropriate. It was obviously. She pushed back Eliot's hair lovingly.

"Aunt Brenda…do you think true love like this exists in real life? Where there is only one person you are destined to meet?"

Brenda looked at her niece, "Do I think there is only one person out there for you…maybe..I don't know…but true love definitely exists, vampires do not though." Brenda joked.

The girls laughed. "What I would do to go out with Edward Cullen." Alyssa smiled dreamy.

"You wish." Emma threw the pillow at her friend. The girls giggled.

"Don't you think dad is your soul mate?" Eliot asked interested. "Dad has said you are his." she smiled.

Brenda smiled, "I think you fall in love with many people sometimes. You learn from every relationship you'll have. I do think your father is my soul mate but I loved other people. Never as much as him though. He was my true love and the weird thing is…the longer we are together the more love I have for him. We grew up together. I guess Dylan McKay…is my Edward Cullen."

The girls smiled. Alyssa's face faded, "I think my parents are soul mates." Brenda looked at her. "I know they are going to get back together." Alyssa said sure.

Brenda smiled at her innocence.

"Not every relationship works out Aly." Eliot said thinking of how much she disliked her aunt but not wanting to give away what she knew to any of the people in the bedroom.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Alyssa sat up and looked at her cousin hurt.

"I'm just saying…sometimes people break up." Eliot looked down regretting bringing it up.

"Well…not my parents. My parents will be together again…you'll see." she threw out as she stomped out having a 16 yr old meltdown.

Eliot sighed, "I'll go talk to her." Brenda stopped her.

"Let me take shot." she smiled at her and winked. Eliot watched her mom walk down the hallway to another bedroom.

"That wasn't very nice." Emma said eyeing her best friend.

Eliot flopped back on the bed, "I know." she said disappointed in herself.

"What's so wrong with Alyssa hoping her parents will get back together, I know you…you'd feel the same way…just as I would." Emma said truthful.

"I know." Eliot whispered and sat up. "Can I tell you a huge secret?"

Emma smiled and leaned in, "Of course."

"My father…wrote a book for my mom. It's their love story."

"Oh yeah…By mentioned it, he said he hadn't read it though."

"Did you know…my parents…all of our parents are connected."

"I know…they have known each other since they were our age, or younger."

"No…like connected connected…like dated each other."

"What? My parents dated people in the gang?"

"No…I don't know about your parents…but mine did. My mom dated Aidan's dad…my dad dated Aidan's mom…and." Eliot took a deep breath, she looked at the door making sure no one was there. "My dad…dated aunt Kelly."

Emma's eye grew wide, "Really? Ewwwww."

"I know so gross." she shook her head at the visual.

"So what happened, when was this?" Emma was shocked.

"Like in high school…and after around when your parents got married."

"Wow." Emma whispered.

"I think my aunt Kelly…still has feelings for my dad."

"Are you serious? Is that why they broke up?" Eliot lifted an eyebrow and shrugged.

"Ladies…the movie is all set up in the theater room…you guys coming or what?" Byron peaked his head in…along with Aidan.

"Ah…yeah…were coming." They followed the boys out as Eliot grabbed Emma's hand, "Don't tell anyone." she whispered. Emma nodded making a silent vow she wouldn't.

Brenda played with her nieces blonde hair. "It will all work out Aly. However it's meant too sweetie."

"Why would Eliot say that Auntie?" she said in tears.

"Oh Aly…Eliot is a realist. It's part of her personality. But…she is also a romantic, so I know…in her heart she believes in happily ever after."

"Do you believe?" she looked hopeful at her aunt.

Brenda smiled, "Hell yes I do…look at me. I married my high school sweetheart. Have 2 amazing kids…that don't think before they speak apparently." Alyssa wiped her nose and laughed, "Your parents love each other honey…there is nothing wrong with hoping everything will work out. And if it doesn't…you'll deal with that too. You aren't alone. We are all family. We always will be no matter what happens."

"Thanks Auntie." she hugs her tightly.

"Bren…help me please." Dylan sticks his head in. "Your brother and Valerie are making me sing karaoke." Dylan's eyes widened terrified. "We need more wine for this."

Brenda laughs and nods, "You gonna be okay?" she gives her attention to her niece. Alyssa nods and gets up.

Alyssa reaches around Dylan's waist and hugs him, Dylan kisses her head softly. "You okay kiddo?" he asks with a fatherly smile.

"Yes…thanks again auntie. Love you both."

Dylan smiles at her. "Love you too sweetie. The gang is in the theater." Alyssa nods and starts down the stairs.

"What was that about?" Dylan looked at Brenda skeptical.

Brenda got up, she leaned up and kissed Dylan softly, "Brandon and Kelly." Brenda rolled her eyes.

"Ah…say no more." he shook his head. Seems they couldn't get away if they even tried.

"Come on…I know what I'm singing." Brenda took both Dylan's hands and pulled him down the hallway. "That's me in the spot…light…losing my religion." Brenda sang with a smile.

"No Bren…no Bren…no…come on." Dylan whined as he let her pull him.

Brenda and Dylan laughed until they were practically crying as Valerie and Brandon did their rendition of Def Leopard's Pour some sugar on me. It was the funniest thing and all four of them were feeling no pain. Brenda and Valerie did a sexy number to Red light special, making Brandon wish that the girls he was watching dance around and sing were not related or practically related.

Dylan and Brandon talked secretly as Valerie and Brenda refilled their wine glasses, "You having fun?" Brenda's cheeks were flushed as she took another sip of her full wine glass.

"Hell yes! I haven't had this much fun in a long long time. What do you think they are going to do next?" Valerie eyed the boys making a decision on their song.

Brenda shook her head, "I haven't a clue…this is the first time I've ever seen my brother even use this thing. He never did when we used to come up here and have these kind of nights when he was with Kelly."

Valerie eyed her with a smirk, "That's cause Kelly always had a stick up her ass."

"Val." Brenda shook her head.

"Oh come on Brenda." Valerie laughed, "Sorry I'm being the founder of the Kelly haters club over here but she did."

Brenda shrugged, "She wasn't always like that."

"Well she was when hung out with her."

"Alright ladies are you ready?" Brandon announced.

The girls giggled as they gave the boys their attention. Both boys started facing the back. Brenda looked at Valerie with raised eyebrows. "Oh my god." she said quietly.

Brandon turned around quickly as the song began. "My mind is telling me nooooooooo." he howled and Valerie and Brenda made a face at his awful singing. "But my body….my body is telling me yes." he smiled at Valerie. Brenda and Valerie laughed out loud recognizing the song.

Dylan turned around, "I don't want to hurt nobody….but there is something that I must confesssssssss….to you." he pointed at Brenda and she laughed.

Brenda and Valerie fell on each other laughing as Dylan and Brandon started dancing. Shaking their asses around in circles.

"I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind

With a little bump and grind

I don't see nothing wrong, baby, hey

I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind

I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind

I don't see nothing wrong, hey, woah, let me hear you."

Brandon walked forward and pointed to Valerie, she shook her head with a smile. "See I know just what you want." he winked joking.

Dylan pointed to his crotch as he looked at Brenda with a smirk, "And I know just what you need, girl." Brenda covered her face with her hands and laughed.

The both sang, "So baby, bring your body to me (bring your body here)."

Brandon howled, yes howled, "I'm not fooling around with you, huh."

Dylan's hand came to his heart as he stared at his wife, "Baby, my love is true (with you)." He pointed at her.

Both, "With you is where I want to be."

Dylan walked up to Brenda, he wiggled his eyebrows at her, "You need someone...Someone like me, yeah…To satisfy your every need." he did pelvic thrusts and Brenda and Valerie laughed out loud again.

The boys acted goofy dancing around again as they sang the chorus. Brenda eyed Valerie as she smiled, dancing in her seat looking at Brandon. _No way._ she thought _…there was no way. Was there?_

The guys took turns singing the versus.

Brandon,"You say he's not treating you right…lady, spend the night."

Dylan, "I'll love you like you need to be loved…Girl, won't you try some of me." he shook his ass.

Brandon, "No need to look no more…because I've opened up my door." he sang with his arm out.

"You'll never… you'll never wanna another love…You'll never find another me." Dylan grabbed at his shirt, very sure of himself. Brenda smirked at him.

Dylan continued, "You need someone, someone like me, yeah…to make love to you, baby." he jumped on Brenda tackling her to the couch humping her. "Constantly." He sang as Brenda giggled out loud as she felt kisses down her neck. He got up to finish the song.

As the song finished the girls clapped loudly, hooting and hollering, while they laughed loudly.

Dylan sat next to Brenda, his arm came around her, he was out of breath, "Wow…honey…that was hot." Dylan shrugged shyly.

"Who came up with that one?" Valerie laughed as Brandon plopped down next to her. He reached for his wine glass, taking a long sip.

"That was all Brandon." Dylan laughed as he shook his head.

Valerie's shoulder pushed into his jokingly, "Bump and grind huh?" she laughed.

"I don't see nothing wrong." he answered back with a shrug. They clinked their glasses together. "Who's next?" Brandon said eyeing the three of them.

"What do you say my love?" Dylan got up and held out his hand. "Let's show these two how it's done." Brenda smiled and let him help her up. He past her a mic as he flipped through the book of songs.

"What are we gonna sing?" Brenda shook her head embarrassed as Brandon and Valerie got comfortable.

Dylan smiled widely, and hit the number into the machine. The song began and Brenda smiled looking down. Her eyes met his. Dylan sang this song to her every time it came on the radio.

"I found a love…for me

Darling just dive right in

And follow my lead

Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet." he grabbed Brenda's hand, only singing to her. Brenda set down her mic.

"Awww." Valerie watched and set her head on Brandon's shoulder. He drank his wine again.

"Ugh." Brandon groaned.

"I never knew you were the someone waiting for me."

Dylan wrapped his arm around Brenda pulling her against him as he swayed her from side to side. Brenda not caring who was around stared into his eyes as he sang."Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

I will not give you up this time

His lips came against hers, "But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own

And in your eyes you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight."

The kids came out and stopped in their tracks. As they watched. Eliot smiled widely, getting emotional. True love did indeed exist.

"Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home." Dylan smirked.

"I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own." Brenda looked down shyly with a smile.

"We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms." Dylan spun her around, as Brenda giggled. He pulled her tightly against him.

"Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight."

Brandon stared at his sister and her husband, his heart ached, he was lonely. He looked at Valerie, her sad eyes met his. He wrapped his arm around her as they leaned their heads together.

"Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

I have faith in what I see

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect

Dylan whispered, serious, "I don't deserve this."

"You look perfect tonight." Dylan set down the mic and spun Brenda one last time and dipped her as his lips connected with hers, they kissed long and hard.

Everyone clapped, Brandon and Valerie, the kids took steps into the patio deeper making their presence known. Dylan pulled Brenda up as he hugged her tightly against his body. Dylan looked down embarrassed he had such a big audience.

Byron smiled at his parents, "Mom…dad…Nate and I are gonna walk Emma home."

"Ok honey…walk right back." Brenda said still gushing over her husband's serenade.

"Good night guys…We're gonna watch the rest of Twilight."

Dylan smiled as he looked at Aidan, "Are they roping you in making you watch too."

Aidan smirked and shrugged, "When in Rome. Night."

"Night." the adults called out.

Valerie, Brandon, Brenda and Dylan sat on the couches drinking wine and chit chatting. Dylan cuddled closer to Brenda as she laid in his arms. His hand rubbing absently on her stomach.

"I love that Ed Sheeran song." Valerie said dreamy. "It's so romantic."

"Oh it is." Dylan hugged Brenda tightly.

"When it came out, both Dylan and I thought it was so perfect for us. We kind of wished it had been out when we got married for our wedding song."

"What was your wedding song? I don't remember." Valerie asked interested.

"Turning Pages." Brenda and Dylan said at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled.

Valerie's hand went to her heart she sang, "Your love is my turning page."

Brenda sat up, "Where only the sweetest words remain." She sang back.

"Every kiss is a cursive line…every touch is a redefining phrase." They sang together then laughed.

Dylan kissed her temple, "I'll surrender who I've been…for who you are." he whispered in her ear making Brenda blush.

"That's a good song." Valerie sat back and sighed.

"It actually was a good song for us. We heard it and knew it was perfect. We had been through so much together. It fit with our story. Like a book." Dylan smiled down at her, subliminally talking about their book, Journals D'Amour. She kissed him softly.

"What about you Brandon? What was your wedding song?" Valerie asked interested.

Brandon took a deep breath and shook his head.

"Babyface." Brenda smiled. "With Kelly and Bran…it was always Babyface."

Brandon smiled and rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah." Valerie smiled, "Girl…it's been a long long time coming. But I know it's been worth the wait. Baby face is the shit." She looked at Brandon, "It's fitting for you two." she said as Brandon rolled his eyes uncomfortable.

"Alright…I'm going in the jacuzzi, enough of this depressing talk." Brandon got up and refilled his wine, "You coming?" he looked down at Valerie.

She shrugged and got up grabbing the open bottle and following him to the grotto.

Dylan cuddled closer, "Do you think them being alone in the jacuzzi is a good idea?" Brenda asked as she saw them disappear and Dylan started kissing down her neck now that they were alone finally.

He looked up at her, "Brandon and Valerie?" he laughed, "Please Bren…that's almost weird."

She sat up straighter, "You did." she threw at him.

"Yeah…but I didn't know her then. Brandon knows her. If I had…I wouldn't have went there believe me."

Brenda moved making space between her and Dylan, "Think about it. They are both single…lonely…the only ones here that aren't coupled up. Both in love with people that they either don't want cause of crazy circumstances…or can't have…it's almost a given. I mean Valerie is hot…even if they look at each other as brother and sister…they aren't really."

Dylan took a deep breath, he looked towards the grotto before making eye contact with Brenda again. Was she right? It was almost too fucked up to imagine. Kelly would literally die. Like heart attack, kill someone and herself DIE!

"Hi mom…dad." Byron sulked towards them. He plopped next to Brenda, making Dylan move with a laugh. He knew his mama's boy son wanted cuddle time. He sat across from them and watched Byron lay down, setting his head on his mothers lap as she played with his hair.

"What's wrong my love?" Brenda cooed.

"Emma and I got into a fight. I don't even know what it was about, she was acting weird."

"It will be okay sweetie, people fight…it's normal." she tried to comfort him.

Dylan stared at Brenda, the way she talked to their son about girls and how sometimes they were emotional and irrational. She comforted him, playing with his hair lovingly. All he could do was reminisce and love his wife…his kids…and the life that had been given to him. He remembered when they were just babies. Soon they'd be out of the house, on to college, maybe getting married themselves. Dylan only stared at her as she talked to him.

"Ahhhh…your sister and Dylan have the right idea." Valerie set her head back relaxing in the hot spa water.

"Tell me about it…Kelly and I almost bought a place up here, but then we decided to get the cabin in Big Bear. That way we could come here and relax in the desert with Bren and they could come with us in the winter to ski. It seemed like a great idea. Now look at us."

Valerie looked over at Brandon, "If you want to give Kelly a chance Brandon…give her a chance. No point in being miserable without her. Work through it." she surprised even herself saying that out loud.

Brandon shook his head, "I don't know what I want."

Valerie decided to change the subject, "Remember that trip here in college. We were sitting in the jacuzzi, you were a big coward and wouldn't make your move on me."

Brandon laughed out loud, "Well…you don't even want to know the visuals I had when I was changing in my hotel room, I had absolutely drank too much and I saw my parents scolding me for even thinking about hooking up with you. It was frightening."

Valerie laughed and shook her head. "Yeah…I guess it wasn't meant to be."

Brandon sighed, "I guess not."

They looked at each other longer than appropriate. "Well…I should probably go to bed." Valerie nervously stood up. Brandon nodded and took a deep breath. He got up too, they both were standing close to each other now. Staring into each other's eyes. Brandon moved first, his hand came to the back of her head as he opened his lips against hers. Valerie's hand came to his cheek as Brandon's tongue met hers softly. They lowered back into the jacuzzi, her legs wrapping around his center as Brandon hands went to rub her thighs. They switched sides, fighting for dominance. It was a good kiss, hot and wet. Valerie and Brandon knew how to kiss.

"This is so bad." Valerie whispered switching sides again.

"So bad." Brandon's hand came to her face, deepening the kiss, his tongue licking her upper lip sensually.

"No Jim and Cindy scolding you?" Almost wanting him to stop it.

"I wish." he breathed as he kissed her passionately. He pulled her center against him, his hard on prominent in his bathing suit. Valerie moaned as Brandon kissed down her neck, grinding against her heat.

"What are we doing?" she whispered closing her eyes.

"I have no fucking idea." Brandon whispered into her ear, licking down her neck before moving back to her lips. He groaned grabbing her back side roughly as they continued to kiss fiercely.

Brenda kissed Dylan deeply as he moved over her. They had made it back to their bedroom, Dylan wanting to get her alone after a long day. He kissed her neck as she moaned. Their make out was going farther as they undressed each other. Dylan stared down at her, his member at her opening. He pushed into her deeply causing both to close there eyes at the sensation. He sat there looking down at her, amazed and so in love with this woman he could barely breath.

Her hand came to his face as he sat inside her, taking her in. They stared at each other lovingly.

"Let's have another baby Bren." Dylan whispered, his expression serious.

Brenda stared at him, "Excuse me?"

"Let's have a baby." he repeated quietly.

Brenda looked at him, trying to read if this was real or some weird outburst in the throws of passion. "Are you serious?" she pulled away, making Dylan pull out of her and settle on her side.

"I'm dead serious." he moved closer to her, kissing her lips which Brenda sat still in shock with her eyes open. "I think we should try to have another baby." he whispered against her lips.

Brenda pulled back and just stared at the love and seriousness in his eyes. She blinked…shocked…speechless, she didn't know what to say. A million things running through her head…starting over…at their age? Was he crazy? A baby? Brenda said the first thing that popped in her head at that moment.

"Are you fucking high?"

 _Ok dun dun dunnnnnnnnn. So Palm Springs weekend huh? There was a lot to get in. It's super long, but I didn't want it separated. Ok…now Brandon and Valerie…are they going to do it? AHHHHHHH Dylan is feeling all fatherly and sentimental. They are in their 40's…kids will be out of the house soon, think about starting over again? I don't know about that. Donna being Donna. The one thing I meant to have in this chapter was Brenda and Dylan finding out about Eliot and Aidan…it didn't fit…but it will come. Eliot telling Emma about Kelly…Brandon opening up to Nate. There was a lot that happened so your reviews better be detailed hahaha! review my lovely BD fans! I live for them! Hope you liked it. Next chapter will be the end of Palm Springs weekend. Not a part 3 but it will take place when they're still there. How can so much drama happen in their first day! It's Beverly Hills 90210 bitches! Tell me everything people. I love when you guys make guesses or give me your ideas. I have no idea where I'm going with this story…so who knows…your hopes and guess could come true._


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**_

 _ **Drama…Drama…Drama**_

Brenda got up hastily, "No really…did you and Valerie sneak off and you know?" Brenda held her thumb and index finger up to her mouth pretending to smoke a joint. "Why didn't you tell me, I would have gone with you?"

Dylan mouth dropped open, "What…it's legal now." Brenda bit her lip and shrugged.

"No…I'm not high…what the fuck is wrong with you?" he got up. Both completely naked as they started arguing. "Why does this surprise you so much?" he held his hands out.

"Why?" Brenda raised her voice, "Dylan…you have never ever brought having another baby up. We've been married for 15 years. The kids are 17 years old. Why wouldn't you have said something when we could have? We're getting old Dylan…we can't have a baby."

"Oh Brenda…please…we are not that old. People do it all the time. We're 43 years old…not 80!"

"You are insane! It's too risky…so many things could go wrong!" Brenda's voice was nervous and high pitched.

"People do it all the time! There are 4 people that volunteer at the center that just had babies and they are older than us!" he yelled back.

"Dylan…just because we may not look it…definitely don't act like it and we fuck like bunnies…doesn't mean we are in our twenties." Brenda tried to justify.

"Brenda…I don't' believe you…you're acting like I just told you I fucked your best friend."

"No…you did that already!" she yelled.

Dylan sighed defeated, he hated arguing with Brenda, "Come on baby…come here. Let's get back into bed." his hands came down to his groin to point it out the obvious, still a half stiffy prominent.

"Oh hell no! Why? So you can try to slip one past the goalie…no fucking way!"

"Brenda…I can't believe you're making such a big deal about this. I was being honest with you!"

"Honesty? How am I suppose to feel now? If this is something that you really want…what are you going to go out and meet someone younger…someone that could give you want you want?" Brenda yelled irrationally.

"Oh my god! Now you're fucking insane! I want a baby with you not some young fresh tart Brenda!"

Brenda's hands moved through her hair frustrated, "I can't do this with you right now." Brenda's arms failed. She grabbed her robe covering her naked body and stormed out of the bedroom door.

"Brenda!." Dylan called out after her. Dylan tried to throw on his boxers quickly, practically losing his balance. Finally getting them on, he rushed the bedroom door and stopped in his tracks as he saw, Eliot, Alyssa, Byron, Aidan and Nate standing in the hallway. Dylan's hands came to the front of him covering himself just in case. "Uh Hi." he said shyly.

"Why are you and mom fighting?" Eliot crossed her arms, tilting her head to the side.

Dylan shook his, "We're not fighting…go back to bed." He smiled uncomfortable and walked sideways to the stairs. Once he hit them he ran down the steps. He looked around not seeing her anywhere. He was going no where near the grotto. She wouldn't have been there anyway. Finally he reached the study and as he turned the corner he saw her. Sitting on the couch with her head resting against the back.

"Bren…come back to bed honey. We don't have to talk about this now."

"I can't believe you." Brenda said with tears in her eyes.

Dylan sighed and moved to the couch, he sat down, "Baby…why does this upset you so much?"

"Because Dylan…I just don't understand why now? Why didn't you tell me this 10 years ago…5 years ago?"

Dylan shrugged, "I don't know…it just never came up. I always wanted more kids…you just never mentioned it so I thought it was not up for consideration?"

Brenda stood up, "And that's why this is so upsetting Dylan because I did too!" she raised her voice as tears streamed down her face. "And now…it's too late." She stormed out again.

Dylan sat there stunned hearing her climb the stairs. He sighed and looked down. He hadn't meant to start anything. He was just being honest. Brenda was an amazing mom, their kids were amazing too. Dylan just didn't want this phase of his life to be over yet. To Brenda starting over seemed like hell…to him it seemed like heaven. He sat there thinking, as he heard a giggle and thumb.

"Shhh." he heard Brandon say, then a groan. Dylan looked towards the study door as Valerie and Brandon danced in front of it kissing. Hitting the wall across from it. Brandon leaned down as Valerie was pinned against the wall while he kissed her eagerly. If Dylan could disappear he would have. He sank down in the couch a little trying to act invisible.

"God…I've wanted this for a long long time." Brandon breathed in between kisses.

"No shit sherlock…you never had the balls before." Valerie said with a whisper, humor behind it.

Dylan's eyebrows raised, fuck Brenda was right. He tried not to smirk.

"You sure? There is no turning back after this?" Brandon stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes. Dylan could only see his back as he stood flush against her at the wall. Her leg hitched around his mid section.

Silence filled the house and Dylan sat like a statue waiting, Valerie leaned in as they kissed again, "I've always wanted you Brandon." she breathed out. They stood there making out for a minute, to Dylan it seemed like several. Brandon grabbed her hand, "Come on…my room is on the other side of the house." he pulled her past the door.

Dylan's eyes widened, what the fuck just happened?

Dylan waited several minutes so he wouldn't make his presence known, he climbed the stairs quietly. As he reached the top he looked down the long corridor to where Brandon's room was. The one he used to share with Kelly when they used to come here as a family. He shook his head not sure this trip was a good idea. He reached for his bedroom door knob and heard hushed voices coming from the upstairs den. He slowly walked towards the closed door. He leaned his head in and listened.

"We don't have too El…I'd wait for you as long as you wanted." Aidan whispered.

"No Aidan…I want to." Eliot whispered back.

"What if your dad hears us?" Aidan whispered.

"He won't…him and my mom are probably making up by now." Dylan's eyes narrowed. _HELL NO!_

Breathing and kissing came from the door.

Dylan felt his face get red, his heart stopped. His first reaction was too bust in but then he was scared what he'd see.

A groan, "I love you Eliot."

A moan, "I love you too."

Dylan reached for the door, "What are you doing?" Brenda whispered as she saw her husband standing in front of the door, his hand on the door knob. He froze.

He looked at her, eyes wide, "Eliot…and Aidan."

Brenda's eyes widened as she grabbed his hand pulling him into their bedroom.

"You're not going to let them do whatever they are doing in there are you?" Dylan whisper yelled.

"Well…yeah." Brenda crossed her arms.

Dylan breathed out, hands in his hair. "Are they back together?" his hand came out.

"Probably."

This was new for Dylan. He had known they'd gone there, he had seen them kissing but never this…never this. "I cant sit here knowing that they are in there Brenda."

Her hands came out shrugging, "What do you want to do? You want to barge in there, wake up the whole house and embarrass your daughter and her boyfriend in front of Byron…Alyssa…Nate." She whispered back. "We'll talk to her tomorrow."

"They're having sex Brenda!" Dylan whispered almost too loudly. His face was red, his heart was beating fast.

"You don't know that." Brenda shook her head, arms crossed.

"Oh my god…I heard them!" Dylan looked like he had ran over a small puppy.

"Come on…come lay down." Brenda grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the bed. They both sat down.

Dylan shook his head, "This isn't right Bren…this is our house. We aren't these kind of parents, why aren't you freaking out?" He said quietly.

"Dylan…I am freaking out!" Brenda shook her head. "We'll sit them down tomorrow. At this point, give them the benefit of the doubt."

Dylan looked at her, shocked. "I can't believe you…maybe you are the one that's fucking high."

Brenda laughed lightly, "It's not funny Bren. It's like there is sex everywhere and it's not even us."

"Sex everywhere…what are you talking about?" Brenda shook her head with a smile.

He looked at her, just looked at her, he raised his eyebrows. Brenda's smile faded, "Nooooo." she breathed.

Dylan nodded, "Yes…I saw them head to Brandon's room."

Brenda looked towards her closed door. "I knew it." She whispered getting up. Her hand came to her forehead as she shook her head. "What the fuck is my brother and Valerie thinking?"

"I don't think they were thinking much of anything at all…besides getting laid." Dylan shook his head remembering. "Eliot." he breathed.

"Dylan…you used to sneak into my room when you stayed with Brandon?"

"Brenda we never fucked when your parents were home…you know that. We were always too scared Jim would either die of a heart attack or his dress shoe would get stuck in my ass when he kicked it."

Brenda chuckled, he was right, "We did other things." her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah…made out…3rd base maybe."

"No…the first time I went down on you was in my bedroom."

"Yeah…and I was so fucking scared we were going to get caught it was hard to enjoy it…and that's saying a fucking lot."

Brenda looked at him, a look of you are a fucking liar.

Dylan rolled his eyes and sighed. He had enjoyed it. It was the best day ever. He has been doing it to her for over a month, it was about time she returned the favor.

Brenda thought about what was happening around her, she groaned, "Come on…let's go to bed." She crawled to her side and laid down. Dylan slowly lowered to his back.

"How am I going to sleep right now, I'll be up for hours." Dylan groaned. "Just knowing our daughter is in there…ugh…I can't even want to kick the shit out of Aidan for being a punk ass because it sounded like it was her pursuing it." He whined quietly as he closed his eyes. "He is actually scared of me…that's a good sign, _your_ daughter…is a horn dog."

Brenda chuckled, "Well…she is _our_ daughter, so she probably was pursuing it." Dylan sighed loudly, "Besides it won't be hours…he is a teenager." Dylan looked at her shocked, "What? He's 17 it won't be hours…minutes maybe, 15…20…30 max if he is anything like you were." she tried to justify.

"I can't even look at you right now." He bounced to the opposite side, mushing his pillow getting comfortable. Brenda shook her head. She understood Dylan, it wasn't the most comforting situation, but what were they going to do? She sighed and cuddled closer to him. She wrapped her arm around his waist and kissed his bare back, then rested her cheek against it. Dylan moved his hand over hers as it sat on his heart. He sighed.

"And you want more fucking kids." She said smart ass.

Dylan closed his eyes and whimpered pretending to cry.

Breakfast was interesting. Dylan read the newspaper as Brenda and Valerie moved around the kitchen in silence. Dylan set down the paper and looked up as Brandon came in.

"Good Morning." he sang practically. Dylan smirked looking towards Valerie. She kept her head down buttering toast with a smirk.

"Morning." she said back, no awkwardness what so ever. Brenda rolled her eyes with a small smirk. So obvious.

"What's the plan later? We going to David's?" Brandon grabbed the coffee, pouring himself some. He leaned over with a smile to Valerie and grabbed the toast she had prepared for herself. He took a bite roughly and winked.

"Heeeey." she said with a hint of humor. As Brandon bumped his hip with hers.

Dylan shook his head and took a deep breath. What the fuck was happening?

He leaned over and happily kissed his sister on the cheek. "Morning Bren."

Brenda leaned away from him with a disgusted expression. She didn't know where his mouth had been.

Brenda brought the scrambled eggs and bacon to the table. Valerie behind her with the toast. They all sat and started to dig in.

"Did you have a good time last night?" Brenda asked unapologetic as she stabbed her eggs.

"Yeah…that jacuzzi is amazing." Valerie said unfazed.

"So nice…private and relaxing. Now I know why you guys put it in. Huh buddy?" Brandon hit Dylan with his elbow a couple times.

Dylan looked at him, Seriously? We're joking about sex with his sister now. That was new.

Brenda dropped her fork loudly on the plate, making everyone look at her. She folded her hands out on front of her as she looked towards Brandon and Valerie. "You guys are not fooling anyone right now." She said seriously.

Dylan swallowed hard, taking his coffee cup to his lips, preparing for inappropriate breakfast conversation.

"What are you talking about Bren?" Valerie asked as she looked at her.

"We know…we know you guys…you know…last night." She hushed whispered, knowing there was a small chance the kids could walk in. Seemed unlikely at this early hour of the morning.

Valerie folded her fingers together, placing her elbows on the table, "You know what exactly?" she shook her head semi amused.

Brenda got up, "We know you and Brandon fucked last night." She whisper yelled.

Dylan closed his eyes and shook his head. Brandon choked on his coffee at his sisters bluntness.

"So?" Valerie shrugged and took a bite of her toast. Brandon breathed out a laugh.

"So? What does it mean?" Brenda sat back down. It was almost comical these 4 adults were whispering like kids.

"It means nothing…geez Brenda." Valerie shook her head, surprised her friend didn't know her by now.

"So you guys have known each other since we were little kids and you guys have sex and it means nothing…nothing at all?" Brenda was shocked there wasn't more weirdness.

"Oh please Bren." Valerie shook her head, "Look who you're talking too. It was a long time coming…believe me."

Brandon chuckled amused and shook his head. "I'm going to drink my coffee and eat my breakfast out on the patio. Dylan? You want to join me?" Brandon got up. This was so not his sisters business.

Dylan took a deep breath getting up. He lifted his plate and coffee mug off of the table, looked at his wife and shrugged. He followed Brandon out back silently.

Once the boys were gone Valerie looked at Brenda, "Don't tell me you're mad at me? Brenda…come on."

Brenda shook her head, "You had sex with my brother…gross." she whined. "You're my best friend."

Valerie raised an eyebrow, "It's ok for Kelly…but not or me?" she said a little hurt.

Brenda huffed, "Valerie my brother and Kelly were in a relationship. I wasn't even around when it began."

"You were around…you were too busy getting busy with Dylan that last week before you moved to London while Brandon and Kelly were shacking up in DC."

Brenda exhaled. "Just tell me you were careful…my god that's all we need is an oppsie to prove to everyone how fucked up our group is." Brenda shook her head.

Valerie smiled, "Brenda…you know me better than that."

Brenda eyed her and took a deep breath. She shook her head and smiled feeling Valerie push against her with her arm. "You're a slut." Brenda said with a smile.

Valerie laughed, "Tell me something I don't know."

Dylan eyed Brandon silently as he ate his eggs. "You want to talk about it?"

"Nope." Brandon said simply.

Dylan leaned on the table, "Valerie Brandon? Have I taught you nothing?"

Brandon smiled biting his toast, looking at his brother in law. "No…you were holding back. She is amazing, I should have had the balls to do it years ago."

Dylan made a face. "Who are you? What have you done with Brandon?"

Brandon laughed, then turned serious as he looked at Dylan expression, "Please…don't judge me. You are no saint my friend. Just because you have spent the last 17 years only doing my sister, there was a time when you had a different girl every night."

Dylan sighed, "I just hope you know what you're doing bro. Kelly would have a coronary if she found out."

Brandon set down his fork, "Seriously…you're bringing up Kelly right now. Let me bask in my glory for at least an hour, why do you care so much about Kelly anyway?"

"This isn't you Bran…you are drinking like a fish…you are sleeping around…you're acting like me dude…and nothing good comes out of how I used to be."

Brandon set down his fork, "Really…cause it looks to me you have everything you want."

"Brandon…" Dylan breathed.

"You know what Dylan…always doing the right thing is fucking old. So what I'm drinking…so what I slept with Valerie. We aren't going to be in a relationship…it just happened. Valerie knows this, she is so far from wanting to settle down believe me. She isn't in love with me or anything. We were just two people, feeling horny and lonely. We're okay with it…why aren't you?"

"It's just what about Kelly Bran…the kids?" Dylan knew the moment her name came out of his mouth…it was a mistake.

Brandon got up with a sigh, "You know what brother…if you are so concerned about Kelly…why don't you get back together with her, I'm sure my sister would be thrilled to know you care so much about her and her feelings. Thanks for being an asshole. I'm going to shower and get ready. I promised my kids I would take them into the village and go shopping before David's. Thanks for nothing."

"Brandon." Dylan called out as he watched his back retreat into the house. He sighed loudly. "Fuck." he whispered.

 _October 31, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Happy Halloween! I've always kind of hated Halloween. I mean…when I was younger, getting candy was pretty fun but every since puberty I kind of hated the ritual. I mean dressing up, going door to door asking strangers for candy. It all seems super weird. Then as I got older the costumes became more revealing like it was the one time a year it was okay for a girl to dress trashy. School, was pretty relaxed today. Some people dressed up, our group did not. Brenda and I carved a pumpkin and made out in study hall. That was cool. She talked me into heading to Hollywood costumes with Steve, Donna and Kelly to just "check out the costumes" Sure Bren. I saw right through that cute smile. I'm rolling my eyes with a smirk right now. Because as she nibbled on my ear and kissed my neck as I dug out pumpkin guts, it wasn't hard to give in. Actually Hollywood costumes turned out to be pretty dope. Brenda wanted me to be Robin Hood, saying I would look sexy in tights. I looked at her and it didn't take long for her to picture it. My skinny bird legs and package for people to see. Brenda looked at my dick and I knew she knew! No thank you! I wasn't going to toot my own horn but I wasn't small for god sakes. Toot…toot! She of all people knew this. Anyway…Brenda and I found a costume and it is amazing. Bonnie and Clyde. Can't get any cooler than that? I mean…we are pretty badass. We rob banks and are the sexiest pair of bandits ever. Anyway I gotta jet before this party. Time to look a little dangerous. Plus I saw Brenda's costumes has a garter belt…fuck me! If all goes well…hopefully she leaves those puppies on later._

 _Dylan_

Eliot made a face. Gross. Sometimes she thought maybe her father didn't remember EVERYTHING he had written in these journals because she didn't think he would want her to read some of this stuff. I mean ick. She shook her head. He was a guy, she had to remember. This was a private journal. For her mom…it wasn't like her mom didn't know about her fathers body or their sexual past. She shook her body again and began to read.

 _November 1, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Oh man what a night. Well Brenda looked sexy as hell in her Bonnie costume and I didn't think I looked half bad either. We spend the party dancing and kissing and having a great time. Until fucking Kelly Taylor came in wearing a witch costume, I didn't even know what she was suppose to be, I guess it was a witch. I felt like a creep even looking. The slit came practically to her stomach. I feel like I looked just to see if she was wearing underwear. It was a leotard thing so that was covered thankfully but it didn't stop me from looking._

Eliot snapped the book shut. Please don't tell me this is where it begins. Her father talking about Kelly's slutty dress. Her mom may have been okay with reading about Kelly…but Eliot was not. She took a deep breath. No she could do this. if her mom could, she could. She sighed and opened the journal back up. UGH.

 _Which was weird because I had never looked at Kelly like that before. Well that's a lie I guess I had, I mean she was beautiful but not my type and she always seemed a little too desperate when we talked before I got together with Bren. I never told Brenda but when I starting seeing her, Kelly tried to get a date with me. I turned her down because at first I thought maybe it was a test. I mean this was Brenda's best friend, but then…it actually wasn't. I was too into Brenda to see her like that and I'm glad I never went there. Like I said she is pretty but no thanks, she seems like more trouble than she would be worth. After the shock of Kelly's costume passed, Brenda and I had a great time. Donna looked ridiculous, she had a nice body so she could pull off the mermaid but it wasn't functional. Steve was Zorro, he looked cool, but I thought he'd poke his eye out with his sword all night. Brandon didn't come, but we saw him with Emily later in the night. Brenda took Kelly outside to chat with her. I didn't hear but I'd imagine she was scolding her on her choice of costume. I knew Brenda…she looked out for her friends. But Kelly was obviously on the prowl, again desperate much? There wasn't anything she could say anyway. So the night went on like any other night. Like I said we had fun. Dancing…making out…people watching. There was some funny costumes there. It was all fun and games until I heard Brenda yell from upstairs. I was just happy I heard her. There was something in her voice in the way she said "Dylan I need you" and I knew something was wrong. Steve was with me, we ran up the stairs as fast as we could. When I got there, Brenda told me the guy dressed like a cowboy tried to attack Kelly. Steve grabbed the guy, like he was going to hit him. I stopped it before it got out of hand. I grabbed his arm and pushed him out into the hallway. The best thing was to get this guy the fuck out of there. When we pushed him on the porch. He tried to tell us we had it all wrong. I told him I could live with that. He told us when a girl dresses like a slut…she was asking for it. Steve punched him and I was glad. Then as I walked back in, I felt like scum. When she walked in to the party, I looked at her like that too, sort of like a piece of meat. I mean I wouldn't have touched her, but for a minute even in front of Brenda, I looked at her up and down and I was ashamed. I realized that I was no better than any of those guys…but then I realized as I came to check on the girls. I was better then them. I heard Kelly blaming herself for leading him on. No matter how much of a magnet a girl turns on. A guy always has a choice…of not making her do something she doesn't want to do. She said she didn't make that choice easy but she did…she said no. And whatever happens after that…isn't her fault. I looked at Brenda and backed out letting them have girl time. Shortly after the girls came down and wanted to leave. We went to the pit for a little and then Brenda came back to my house. For the first time I didn't initiate sex with her. I thought about what I had written earlier. Regarding her garter and I felt like an ass. Just because Brenda was my girlfriend. I shouldn't think that I get her anytime I wanted. Brenda was turned on by the things I had told to Kelly. She said she was lucky to have me in her life. I was the best boyfriend because I never made her feel like she had too. Even in the beginning when I wanted her. I didn't push…at least not physically. That did lead to fooling around and I did get to see that garter belt close up. But that was besides the point. We love each other and it was her choice to go there. I always want Brenda to know it's always her choice how far we go. I never want to make her feel pressured or obligated. My job as her boyfriend is to take care of her, make her feel safe. I think we all learned valuable lessons tonight, ones that I hope to one day teach my children…especially if I have a son._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up and wiped a tear that had fallen from her eye. She felt like a jerk. Here she was reading this thinking her aunt Kelly was some hussy. And she was attacked…almost raped. She felt like a horrible human being.

"Hey beautiful." Aidan peaked his head in. "You want to come swimming with me and By?" he asked with a smile.

Eliot smiled back, she was lucky too. She kind of felt like lately, she was the aggressor when it came to sex. Like last night, Aidan was petrified of getting caught. Of course it hadn't taken much but Eliot was definitely the one that started that one. She was off of the bed and jumping into his arms in seconds. She kissed him over and over.

"I love you. Thank you." Eliot whispered.

Aidan smiled and pulled back, he looked not her eyes, "What for? Not that I'm complaining." His eyebrows raised as he pecked her again.

"Just for being you." she whispered against his lips. Aidan leaned in and took her needy lips to his. This time longer and more passionate. He licked her upper lip gently.

A clear of the throat made them break apart, definitely her father. They both closed their eyes taking a deep breath before turning towards the noise. There Dylan stood with his arms crossed, while Brenda looked sternly next to him. Dylan sighed, uncrossing his arms and walked into the bedroom.

"So…I see you guys are back together?" his voice calm. Pretty happy himself and Brenda in preparation of this talk had a shot of whiskey. Brenda walked in, her arms behind her back. She was always the more relaxed one when it came to these sort of talks. The truth is she wasn't okay with this behavior either. The whiskey was her idea. She wanted to talk calm not have Dylan fly off the handle.

Eliot took Aidan's hand, a unified front, "We were going to tell you. It's only been a few days, maybe a little longer. Where is everyone?" Eliot asked, the house was too quiet.

Dylan nodded, "Your uncle, Alyssa and Nate went to lunch and to the village to shop. Byron is in the pool. We wanted to talk to you both…alone." Dylan eyed them. He was trying to be calm and collective but he heard his voice.

The teens looked at each other and then back at Brenda and Dylan, nervous.

"Why don't you guys sit down." Brenda took a step toward them. _Oh shit this can't be good_ , thought Eliot. her mother was being very serious.

The kids backed up and gulped. They sat on the bed. Eliot let go of Aidan's hand and looked down before making eye contact with her parents.

"What do you want to talk about?" Eliot asked, her pitch too high.

Dylan rang his fingers together and pushed them out, cracking them. Aidan whimpered.

"We want to have a little discussion…about sex." Dylan looked at them seriously.

Eliot laughed uncomfortably, "Ah…I think we had this talk already." she joked.

"Eliot…stop." Brenda shook her head. Eliot's smile faded quickly. "We know what went on last night…in the den."

Aidan got up quickly, "Um…sir…um…Mr. McKay…Mrs. McKay…I can explain."

Dylan shook his head, "Sit down Aidan." he held up his hands. It would be easy to blame the boy. He knew from what little he heard, which was enough, it wasn't him.

"We're you spying on us?" Eliot was mortified. Why hadn't they stopped it…maybe they didn't know exactly what they were doing. "How do you even know what we were doing…we were talking…that's all." she lied, grasping at straws.

Dylan pursed his lips together, his daughter was always a smart ass…much more than Byron, which was hard to imagine. Brenda and himself were too and it came back to haunt them 10 fold. "Eliot…cut the shit. I heard you."

"Oh my god…this is so embarrassing." her hand came to her face.

"I doubt that this is any more embarrassing to you…as it is for us. This is my house. We are responsible for both of you. It is not appropriate and it isn't ok with either one of us." Dylan stood stern. Brenda looked at her husband proudly. He wasn't yelling, he was being mature and calm. Her eyes widened in surprise for a moment. It was sexy even.

"I'm sorry sir." Aidan looked down. "It wont happen again." he said quickly. Eliot looked at him quickly, coward.

"I know you and mom had sex before you were married." Eliot said quietly, trying to justify her embarrassment.

"Eliot! Your mother and I did not have sex in her parents house! I was actually scared shitless of her father to do such a thing and we respected both your grandparents to much to go there!" Dylan raised his voice loudly. There was the Dylan we knew. Eliot and Aidan visibly flinched, they did respect them.

Brenda set her hand gently on his arm, it was her turn.

"You guys are young…you're in love. I get it. You've had sex before. We know. We also were not born yesterday and we know that after a couple goes there, sex comes easier. I know you Eliot know a lot more about my relationship with your dad, then other kids know about their parents. That's the risk we took by letting you read that book. We also trust you. What you do in the privacy of wherever you are, is your business. As long as you guys are responsible and take precautions there is nothing else for your father and I to teach you. This is our home. You will abide by our rules. It is not acceptable behavior for a girl your age to have sex in our home." Brenda said sternly. "Do you understand me?"

"I understand." Eliot breathed. She shook her head. "This is so typical though." Aidan gently pushed his shoulder into hers, _stop_.

"What are you talking about?" Dylan crossed his arms again.

"Why is it when you caught Byron in the act with Pamela Davis…you just wanted to make sure he knew about condoms and birth control…but my whole value system is on the line." She stood up angry.

"Who said anything about values, I'm talking about the rules of this house." Brenda argued back.

"It's because I'm a girl!" yelled Eliot, "It's different with girls." she calmed down as she felt Aidan's hand on her back.

"It's not different with girls." Brenda disagreed, "Its not." She remembers having this same conversation with her father and she will not treat her kids differently like her dad did. "We expect your brother to abide by the same rules." Brenda said angrily. "You're father might have sat him down and talked to him man to man about sex and women…but don't think I didn't tell him the same exact thing I'm telling you." Brenda took a deep breath, who knew she would be the one so angry. Dylan placed his hand on the small of her back. He kissed her temple softly.

"Eliot…we are not that strict. Why are you fighting with us on this?" Dylan spoke calmly, he huffed out a laugh, "Arguing about this is not going to change our minds about what acceptable behavior is in our house. You're 17 years old. Have some respect for yourself…Aidan…me and your mom. period." he turned and left at that moment. He walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

Brenda looked at her daughter. She shook her head not knowing what else to say, disappointed and walked to join him in their bedroom.

"Seriously Eliot?" Aidan stood up, "Like that wasn't uncomfortable enough?" he argued.

"It isn't fair Aidan…I know what my parents conversation consisted of when this happened to Byron."

"No…Eliot…you know what your brother told you. Any parent would have freaked the fuck out knowing what your parents know. Jesus…give it a rest." Aidan shook his head and left as Eliot watched him. She sat on her bed and huffed.

"I can't believe her Dylan…I felt old enough having that conversation with her and then the lack of respect she had, its like I don't know who that person is in there. We have never treated our kids differently. I know…we had arguments and shit in the past when it came to those two moving their relationship in that direction. I know that but we have been nothing but nice lately and taking Aidan in and having him live with us." Dylan took his hands to the top of her arms.

"Calm down Bren. Our daughter says her mind…it's a good thing. She also has a good head on her shoulders and I know she will realize what she did wrong in there. Ok? Come here." he pulled her into a hug. "We did good. She will realize she was wrong." his hand came to her head as he kissed it gently. Brenda held on to his forearm as she pulled away. She sat on the bed.

She sighed loudly, "I should be thankful for these stupid fights, in a couple years they'll both be out of the house. It's gonna be so weird…just us."

Dylan sat next to her, he raised his eyebrow, "Not if we have another baby."

Brenda shoved him, "Not that shit again, seriously we can't even deal with the ones we have."

Dylan laughed, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "We handle them just fine. I'm proud of you, you did good in there baby."

Brenda looked at him and gave him a sad smile, "I'm proud of you too." She leaned in and kissed him softly. Things got heated quickly as she let her frustrations out. Soon Dylan was over her caressing and licking her breast making her toes curl.

Dylan smiled kissing up to her neck, "Finally…it's like everyone was getting some in this house but us." he joked.

Brenda looked him in the eye, "You better pull out because now I know you have an agenda." She looked at him sternly.

Dylan laughed out loud as Brenda pushed him down, his back hitting the bed as she straddled him. "I'm not having another baby Dylan." she whispered as she kissed along his neck.

"We'll see." he grabbed her backside roughly making her moan out. "We will see Mrs. McKay."

The gang laughed around the table as they finished an early dinner at David grandparents house. Everyone took over exactly where they were the night before. Brandon and Valerie seemed friendlier then normal but they were their normal selfs. The kids seemed to be on the quiet side but all getting along. Eliot hadn't talked to her parents but she eyed her mother and father with a apologetic smile, so they knew that was coming at least. Brandon had spent an awesome day just himself and his kids, cruising around Palm Desert, shopping for the kids, even had a heart to heart much like the one he had with Nate with his daughter. It had been a drama free evening and it was great.

"Val…you want more wine." Brandon started pouring her the glass before she even answered.

"Well…Mr. Walsh…are you trying to get me drunk?" Valerie joked.

"Well duh…someone has to get drunk with me." the table laughed not getting the sexual innuendo, well beside Brenda and Dylan which sipped their own wine silently looking at each other over their glasses.

"Hello…anyone here?" The table froze. Knowing the voice well.

"Kelly? Donna stood and smiled.

Brandon made eye contact with his wife, then Val as she cleared her throat. He got up quickly and went to her, "What are you doing here? He asked calmly but confused.

Kelly looked around the table nervously. "Alyssa called." she spoke softly. "She was upset so…I wanted to make sure she was okay." Brandon looked towards his daughter. She had her head down ashamed.

"Alyssa honey…can you come over here for a moment?" Brandon asked politely. He did have an audience. Brenda sighed taking down her wine in one gulp as she eyed Valerie.

"This should be good." she whispered and received a dirty look from Donna.

"Is everything ok sweetie, your mom said you called her. I thought we had a good day. You seemed happy, why did you call your mom?" Brandon asked interested.

"I'm sorry." Alyssa said quietly, she looked at her brother, who by the looks of it was disappointed in his sister for getting their mother involved. "I just missed her…and I was kind of hoping you guys could talk." She said lowly but everyone heard.

"Jesus Aly." Nate got up. Brandon's hand came up to stop his son.

Alyssa started to cry, "Im sorry." she apologized again. Kelly put her arms around her and hugged her. Her eyes pleading with Brandon to not make a big deal. Brandon wasn't going to.

"It's okay. I understand." his hand came to her head father like and she switched from hugging her mom to her dad. Brandon kissed her, "Shh…honey its okay."

"You want something to eat Kel?" David got up to break the silence around him, she was his sister after all.

"Yeah Kelly…come on." Donna smiled.

Brenda grabbed Dylan's thigh under the table, getting his attention. His arm came around her. He pulled her into his side. He knew Brenda did not want to hang out with Kelly.

"No…No I don't want to interrupt, I just wanted to check on Aly…I'll probably just drive home." Kelly tried to justify now knowing her daughter was indeed ok and it was just some weird teenage meltdown or plan to get them to talk.

"You just drove all this way. Come on we have plenty of room here, its just us sleeping here. We have an extra room.

"Yeah Kel…join us." Valerie smiled a forced smile being a smart ass. Brenda looked at her. She may hit her tonight too.

Kelly smiled and shrugged, "Okay." she said simply. She made her way to the table and sat next to Donna. Brandon walked slowly over, taking his place next to Valerie again. He drank his wine uncomfortably. The kids getting the friction excused themselves. They jumped in the pool and carried on being kids.

"Wine Kel?" Valerie smiled holding up the bottle.

Kelly laughed uncomfortably, "Yeah…please. This is awkward. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to intrude. I don't know…Alyssa was so upset I thought maybe she needed me. I really had every intention on seeing if she wanted a ride. I tried to call you Bran…but I just got the voicemail." she tried to explain, which was the absolute truth. Kelly felt weird being there just like everyone else.

"Yeah sorry…I saw the missed call but the kids and I were enjoying the village. I figured I'd try you later." Brandon said regretting not calling her back. He took her in at that moment. Donna was right. She looked like shit. Brandon didn't think he had ever seen her look this way. Kelly always looked amazing to him.

"Well…cheers." Valerie held her glass out. Brenda looked at her, trying to figure out her angle.

"Excuse me." Brenda sighed putting her napkin on the table and getting up.

Dylan looked around the table, "Excuse us." he said quietly. following Brenda into the house.

Kelly looked down and sipped her wine. "So…how bout those Lakers." Brandon said with a laugh as he sat back in his chair.

"I want to go Dylan." she said to him as he tried to get her to relax.

"I know you do…but can't we all just try to be adults right now. This isn't the place to make a scene. The kids are here Bren…come on."

"Brenda?" Kelly appeared in the kitchen, "Can we talk for a second?"

Brenda wiped her tears quickly, looking to the opposite wall.

"Ah…Kel…I don't think this is really the place for this." Dylan said knowing he was right.

Kelly took a step in, "I'm sorry you want to leave Bren…please don't leave because of me. When Aly called me crying I got so worried about her. I tried calling, please understand I just wanted to check on her. You're a mom I know you would have done the same."

Brenda nodded, "Yeah…I would have." she confirmed.

"I'm really sorry…to both of you." Dylan looked at her, Brenda's head turned towards her too. "I…shouldn't have said that about Dylan marrying you and I honestly didn't mean it."

Dylan turned himself towards her, "What exactly did you mean then?" he asked calmly.

"I only meant that Dylan is a good guy. He wouldn't have left his kids. It didn't come out the way it sounded in my head." Kelly took 2 steps closer to them. "Look I know how much you guys love each other. I was there. I witnessed it from the beginning. I was always insecure about it and it didn't take a genius to see how connected and how much you cared for each other. You are meant to be together and Dylan chose you Brenda because he loves you. I know that apologizing doesn't take it away and you don't have to forgive me. All I ask is that we can be civil to one another. My kids adore you guys and I don't want my dumb mouth to make things like this weird."

Dylan and Brenda stood silent. "Anyway…thanks for at least letting me apologize…and I hope you stick around." She smiled a sad smile at them and went to join the rest of the party outside.

Dylan looked at Brenda, he raised his brows at her. She rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever…you would believe her."

Dylan pulled her back, "If you want to go…we'll go. Whatever you want."

"Are you kidding me…I'm not leaving now. Brandon and Valerie slept together. Do you actually think Valerie won't let that fact slip? Or that kelly will notice how obvious they are being. Come on." Brenda pulled him toward the yard again.

Dylan rolled his eyes shaking his head. Now he wanted to leave.

The the rest of the night went only okay. Donna and Kelly gabbed about nothing inparticular, Valerie and Brenda drank heavily. Dylan stood silent and was scared where the night would lead and Brandon tried to stay clear of Kelly. it was awkward. Not at all comfortable but hey at least everyone was being civil.

Kelly smiled as she held her wine watching Brandon and Alyssa slow dance. Her daughter had the biggest smile as Brandon made her laugh. Donna and David danced slowly. Brenda and Dylan were kissing also dancing slowly. The other kids were swimming.

"This house is pretty cool." Valerie appeared at her side.

"Yeah…David grandparents house was always tons of fun growing up."

"Did you come here with Brandon?" Valerie asked nicely, condescending but nicely.

Kelly shook her head, "No…the first time we came in high school and Brandon had to work, the second time was in college but Brandon and I weren't together yet."

"Ah…so you came with Dylan." Valerie eyed her as kelly slowly looked at her.

"I cam with the gang." she corrected her, "What's your point Valerie?" Kelly sighed. This was so old to her. "I thought we've moved past all this drama and you starting crap between me and other people." Kelly said matter of fact.

"Stay away from Dylan Kel…or you'll get more than just Bren's palm across your face."

Kelly shook her head, "No problem…I have no interest what so ever in going there. You know Valerie…some people actually grow up. I thought this bullying routine was long over. You can't bully me anymore and you don't scare me. I'm just trying to be a good mom and hopefully try to work things out with my husband. That's all. What you have to say and Dylan for that matter…doesn't interest me. Only my family does."

Valerie nodded taking a sip of her wine. "Whatever you say Kel…whatever you say."

The song had ended and as Valerie walked back to the rest of the gang, Brandon took her hand spinning her around. He brought her flush against him as she laughed out loud. They began dancing and Kelly exhaled. It was like a new Brandon.

There was something different about them too…she couldn't put her finger on it, they had always been friendly but this was more. They had chemistry. They had sexual chemistry. Kelly shot back her wine, _there was no way. Brandon wouldn't touch Valerie with a 10 foot pole_. Now she knew she was going crazy. She walked to join the party. Donna grabbing her making her smile a little. She tried to have a good time, but every now and then her eyes found Brandon and Valerie and she didn't like what she was seeing. As the night went on the only thing she kept thinking was… _was_ _there something going on between them?_

 _EEEK! Review…or else! Next chapter the gang is back home. Back to life…back to reality. Will Brandon and Valerie continue there little sexy times. These two would have never been a couple. NEVER. I know some of you may want it but its way too AU and I just cant do it. Then others will be happy. The truth is its not out of character for them to bang. Valerie had no problem hooking up with people in the group and still being friends with them. Brandon is not himself. He's letting loose a little, drinking way more then he ever has. I watched that Palm Springs episode when brandon acts like this. After kelly chooses herself. He is hurt, starts a lesbian rumor about her and acts like a drunken idiot. Plus he almost gets busy with Valerie. But he also get arrested for the joint in her car and decides quickly that she is more trouble then anything. So to me its not OOC but their closeness wont change, the family dynamics wont change. Don't worry. Now about Brenda and Dylan…Eliot and Aidan…did I handle that ok? I watched the first time, with brandon's girlfriend from Minnesota and then isn't is romantic. Jim had quiet a difference in sex talks. Hope it came out okay. Then the Brenda and Dylan baby drama. That was fun to write. Tell me everything guys, I love your reviews, they mean so much. MUAH_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 25**_

 _ **I choose you always**_

Dylan sat under Byron's Porsche Speedster on his mechanic's creeper changing the oil in son's vintage car. He had always done the repairs on his own car growing up and over time it hadn't changed. This car identical to his old car, was a classic, more of a classic than it was back when he drove one. This car had been restored and ironically hand picked by his son. At the time Dylan found it hilarious without prior knowledge he had this exact car too. Now this classic car was over 61 years old. He didn't trust even the best mechanics in Beverly Hills with it. The stereo that lay near on his near by work table blasted alternative and grudge rock taking him back in time. Dylan had always preferred rock and roll. Classic rock…even punk for a little while. The 90's had been a revolution in music, some of the best rock songs and artists were discovered. Dylan didn't even mind a little R&B from that era. Where Brenda was more youthful on whatever seemed to be popular at the moment, they both had a soft spot for 90's music taking them back to a much simpler time. Or was it?

"If IIIIIIII….could hold them in my hand…I'd make them understand…I'm not a haunted mind…I'm not a thoughtless kind." Dylan sang from under the car.

Brenda stood looking at Dylan's boots bouncing to the song from under the car. Her hand came over her mouth trying not to giggle as he wailed, "IIIIIIIIIII…..held her hand too tight…Too hard to make it right….So I could sleep at night." She remembered this song…but not from the radio, from the brief 90's era show that she fell in love with…My So Called Life. It was short lived but she would forever have a crush on Mr. Jordan Catalano. The ever beautiful Jared Leto, now a musician/actor here in LA, even with his crazy antics and hair choices over the years, he still was breathtakingly attractive. She actually had gotten to meet him once at a premiere, she fan girled a little but kept her shit together as much as possibly to have a brief but memorable introduction. She never really shared her love for the brief one season show with anyone but Brandon, remembering it was about teen angst and her herself was suppose to be past that being in her freshman year of college, but she was still young enough to appreciate the show that now a days she thought was very ahead of its time. She could never forget the moment in the show, with this exact song that Jordan walked down the halls of the high school, in front of all to see and grabbed Angela Chase's hand making teen girls and adults swoon!

"I'd do it if I could…I hope you know I would." Dylan sang not knowing she was listening.

Maybe now was the time to have the talk she had been meaning to talk to him about? She was lost in thought as the song finished and Dylan rolled out from under the car much like he had done back in the day, when he was working on Mondale. His eyes found hers and a smirk fell on his face. Her eyes stared into his, a look of lust and love that often they shared in private. A feeling of nostalgia with the song, Jordan Catalano and a young grease covered teen Dylan made her intake a big breath as a wide smile broke across her face.

Dylan keeping his smirk, "What are you smiling about?"

"Just remembering." she shrugged shyly.

His eyes widened and so did his sexy grin, "Oh really?" his eyebrows lifted as he carefully wiped the grease from his hands. "I remember too…you looked so unbelievably hot in those jean shorts." he looked down as he sat up on his mechanic's creeper still wiping his hands. Brenda moved quickly, feeling hot and bothered in all the right places. She straddled him as he sat on the board, taking his face in her hands and kissing him deeply.

He groaned loudly, opening his eyes. He tossed the greasy rag to the side. His hand went to her cheek, causing black grease to cast across it as it moved into her hair as he took control of the kiss and swept his tongue against hers.

"Well…this is new." he whispered against her warm lips. Joking considering last time this happened, Dylan didn't get straddled, he wish he had.

Brenda smiled and kissed him again. Brenda looked down remembering that she always could talk to her husband about anything, but she had sort of been dodging this particular conversation for a while now. His thumb swept across her now dirty cheek as he smiled, "You ok?" her eyes met his concern and still playfulness behind them.

"Yeah…I'm ok." she said not very convincing, her eyes lowering again. His head tilted to the side. His hands gripped her hips and he pulled her towards him harder, it was a sexual move but he really intended to get her attention back to him.

Her eyes met his again, the lust was gone and now it looked a lot like fear, "What it is baby?" he whispered.

"You know that song that was just playing?" Brenda asked quietly.

Dylan looked towards the radio and then back at her, "Yeah…Buffalo Tom?"

Brenda nodded and sighed, "It reminded me that it seems like maybe this is a good time to have a conversation that I've been meaning to have with you."

Dylan's eyebrows creased together, not having a clue how an old not even that popular 90's rock song could be the reason for a conversation, especially one that seemed to be bothering his wife so deeply.

"Do you remember a show called My So Called Life?" Brenda asked.

Dylan smirked and rolled his eyes, "Oh Jordan Catalano!" Dylan's voice moaned high like a girl and then he laughed at himself.

Brenda smiled, "You watched it?"

His smiled faded, then he looked down shrugging, "Kelly used too…sometimes." he felt weird for bringing it up but she had honestly watched it. That show had come out in 1994, that was his girlfriend then. He remembered trying to block it out with a book as she watched it from his futon every week. When they weren't arguing that is. His eyes met hers again as he heard her sigh.

Brenda's eyes narrowed, "Catalano and Rayanne." she said with clenched teeth remembering Angela's best friend sleeping with no other than her love and obsession Jordan Catalano. How ironic?

"What about the show Bren?" Dylan didn't want to go anywhere near this conversation, no best friend sleeping with their boyfriends or 1994 Kelly relationship memories.

Brenda came back to reality, she took a deep breath, "Remember Eliot asking all those questions about that TV script?"

Dylan nodded, "Yeah."

"My agent approached me about a show…a reboot or reunion really…My So Called Life Goes On…umm." Dylan's face changes now realizing what this conversation is about. _Shitty name_ he thought.

"You're thinking about doing the TV show?" Dylan leaned back on his hands as he looked at her.

"Well…no…I mean…maybe? I read the script…being a fan of the original show, it sounds really cool to be apart of it. Jared Leto…Claire Danes…all of the cast is coming back, and some new characters."

"And…you would be said new character? Who would you play?"

Brenda took a deep breath, "It's a supporting character…ummm Jordan Catalano's wife?"

Dylan eyed her and then after beat a smirk spreads across his face, "Oh you are loving this." he laughs out loud.

Brenda hides her smile, "I freaking loved this show Dylan…I know we weren't together when it came out but I truly was a fan of it. It would be so cool to be apart of something I actually grew up with? This has little to do with Jordan Catalano." she said seriously.

Dylan huffed out a laugh, "Oh please Brenda…I know your obsession with Jared Leto, I was there when you met him at that premiere. I saw you fawning over him for like 20 minutes. Then giggling at all his stupid jokes like a 16 year old. Which by the way he flirted with you shamelessly right fucking in front of me. It has everything to do with Jordan Catalano." Dylan shook his head smiling as he rolled his eyes.

"The script is good Dylan, it takes place like 20 years later. Everyone moving on with their "so called lives", until the funeral of Angela's dad brings them all back to Pennsylvania. I don't even think I get the guy in the end. I mean of course Angela and Jordan will reconnect…which is fine, I mean that's the point right? I always wanted to see if they got together." Brenda was drifting, "Please Dylan…I want to do this."

Dylan took a deep breath he looked into his wives eyes. "I'm not going to get in the way of your acting Bren…I know in the past I did…but whatever you decide you know I'm behind you." he said truthfully. "I just hope you have thought about what this means." Dylan gently pushes Brenda up as he gets off the creeper. He faces his back to her, arranging his tools.

Brenda sighs, she knows what he means. It means that in this age, reboots, reunions are coming from every side of television. Roseanne made it's way back to TV, Full House…Will and Grace…all with amazing results. All being 90's shows. Brenda knows once word gets out the short lived brilliantly written show is coming back. With actors actually returning who are now full fledged movie stars it will be huge. Life changing huge.

"I'm still thinking about it Dylan." Brenda said quietly telling the truth. "I just wanted to know…that if I decide to do this…you have my back. I will always choose you."

Dylan turned towards her. He looked at the seriousness in her eyes, Brenda and Dylan had broken up in London…because of Brenda's acting. She chose her career over him. It had always been a thing. And after they got back together when she was pregnant. It was a promise they made to each other to always talk about roles and such for the sake of their kids. For the sake of their love. Brenda promised she would always choose him.

He took the slow steps until he was standing in front of her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her small waist as she rung hers around his neck, they held each other for a while. Hugging each other tightly.

"I will always have your back Bren…always." he whispered into her hair. Brenda smiled moving to take his lips to hers. They kissed passionately for a few minutes and as they broke apart. Dylan sighed, "Does that mean you get to make out with Jared Leto? Well…until he leaves your ass for." Brenda kisses him again to shut him up. He smiles against her lips, "Angela Chase." he finishes.

Brenda chuckles secretly loving the fact Dylan knew about this show, "I love you so much." she whispers.

Dylan playfully rolls his eyes, "Yeah…yeah. You love the fact even if you get dumped in the end you get to kiss and have a relationship with Catalano."

"Dylan honey…don't you get it? I married my Jordan Catalano." she winks at him and leaves him in the garage as he watches her ass wistfully shake from side to side as she walks back towards the house.

"Great." Dylan sighs going back to work on the car. He wants to be supportive, this is his wife. She had never really showed interest in film or television before. Which Dylan had always been a little pleased with. He thought of his kids, they probably wouldn't even know what that show was. Eliot looked at the script and didn't put two and two together. Their parents probably would but how often did teenagers tell their parents, _Oh hey remember that show you liked when you were our age? I go to school with their kids._ Dylan shook his head knowing that probably wouldn't happen, maybe it wouldn't be so bad? he just hoped Brenda was doing this for the right reasons, like going into a new avenue of acting, broadening her horizons? Not because she was a fan of the show. I mean it wasn't even a lead role. Dylan remembered how down hill their relationship got in London about work. Dylan knew being in London with Brenda after his late wife had died brought him back from the living. They were inseparable and Dylan grew more attached to her then ever. He was in a bad place, it was often Dylan fought with her for no reason, or when she toured too much leaving Dylan alone. The last year out of the three they were together was the worst. Dylan had grew deeper into his depression, Brenda was touring more, he started drinking again…it was a dark place for him eventually leading to Dylan giving Brenda an ultimatum work and London…or him. She choose work. He hated her for a long time after that...well not really obviously but he was mad about it. He knew that he was not in that place anymore. He was far from it. Thinking brought him to Eliot and the Journal, there was going to be a time when she read about these things and his first marriage. For one second Dylan's uneasy feeling of Brenda going into television escaped and the uneasy feeling of his daughter finding out he had a first wife came to the front of his mind. He had come to terms with Eliot reading into his life so to speak. She had been handling everything so far better than expected but it was just beginning, and for the first time in a long time Dylan was regretting his past.

 _November 7, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _So they unveiled a time capsule at school. It was done 50 years ago. Jesus…50 years ago, that was a shit long time ago. I wonder where I'll be in 50 years? Anyway, it was done the night Pearl Harbor was bombed in 1941. So crazy! David Silver is a grade below us. He is taking video for the video yearbook. Its so annoying. I don't mean to be rude to the kid but I swear ever time I look up from Brenda's gorgeous face he has that damn camera on us. He keeps asking if we will do an interview, as the popular campus couple. You know I hate school clichés but…I guess that is sort of true. Ha campus couple. Who would have thought? Me in a campus couple? Brenda has made a permanent mark and I guess I'm a changed man. I like who I am with her. I feel like our relationship has gotten to a place of comfort that we barely argue anymore. It's weird really, we are always on the same page. I kind of wonder if it will always be like that? I guess time will tell._

 _Dylan_

 _November 8, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Brenda and I took a look at the time capsule today. There was dumb stuff in it. Some cool literary things from that time. That was probably the coolest part. I mean who wants to look at greasy old pocket comb? I'm going to Baja this weekend. Brenda asked me when she was allowed to come on one of my surfing safaris with me. Fuck that would be amazing. I mean me and Brenda…alone…the whole weekend…in a motel…loving each other…surfing. Damn…that would probably be one of the best weekends of our lives. I'd never forget it that's for sure. I told her she could come with me when she was willing to get her hair wet. HAHA I said that as a joke. Brenda isn't a pre-madonna, she is feminine but not a princess. I like that about her. I think maybe I should start thinking of planning a weekend down in Mexico with my Bren. I wonder if her parents would say yes? Who am I kidding, Big Jim would never let her go. Maybe now isn't the time…but soon…soon it will be and it will be amazing. When I said goodbye to Bren after lunch. She kissed me like it may be the last time I see her. She told me she loved me and she would miss me and my heart felt full. Nothing is going to happen to me sweet girl. I'll go down and catch the south swells and come back to my girl safe and sound. I knew when I had pinned her against the north wall of campus, grinding myself against her and stopping myself before people saw my hand so eloquently placed on her left breast. It was time for me to head south. Well…not south on Bren…south of the border. HAHA Jesus christ I'm a perve. It's gonna be a long long weekend._

 _Dylan_

 _Novemeber 11, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _My god. I went to school today and as soon as I got on campus, I knew it was not a normal day. There was a sad energy around and when I met Brenda at her locker she turned to me, had tears in her eyes and she hugged me for what seemed like 10 minutes. There was a morning assembly and it was announced a fellow student Scott Scanlon had died. I couldn't place who he was but Brenda said that was the surprise party she attended that weekend with the gang. She also reminded me that Scott was the kid in my tech class last year. I did remember him, sweet kid...sort of geeky, Sorry Scott and he was bullied fiercely by the jocks. I stuck up for him a few times. She said that Scott was a long time childhood friend of David Silvers. Like I said David was cool kid but seemed so young compared to me and the rest of us really. Donna seemed fond of him though so I was always nice to him when he said hello and stuff…well unless he had that fucking camera with him. Scott Scanlon had accidentally shot himself the night of his birthday. How fucking horrific. Brenda said they didn't have the best time at the party. It was something set up for more of an 8 year old not a 15 year old. But David had tried to liven up the party and Brenda said they danced and for a few minutes had a good time. Well until Mrs. Scanlon caught Brandon making out with Emily in Scott's little sisters room and kicked him out. Fucking Brandon jesus…control your zipper dude._

Eliot covered her mouth and laughed. Her uncle? Getting kicked out of a party for making out with his girlfriend…who by the way Eliot had yet to see why she was so crazy. Thinking about her uncle made her think of her aunt Kelly. She looked up just in time to see Kelly. She was actually smiling. Something she hadn't seen in a while. She was talking to a new teacher. His name was Ryan Matthews. He looked barely over 24 and taught English. Mrs. Havenbrook was out indefinitely for some personal reason. The word around school was she caught her husband of 35 years cheating on her with her sister and she had gone crazy. Who knows people talk but as Eliot looked her aunt Kelly she noticed her posture. She leaned in shyly, was laughing, like giggling at the things he was saying. Was she flirting? Huh? Wow. She leaned in a little listening.

"Well…Miss Walsh…thanks for showing me around." Ryan flirted openly.

"Of course Ryan…welcome to West Bev." she said sweetly. "I'm sure we will bump into each other again very soon."

"Hopefully." Ryan brought Kelly's hand up and kissed it. "See you later Kelly." he said with eyes only for her as he walked away. Kelly smiled looking down. A tinge of pink hit her flawless complexion. Her eyes raised and landed on her niece. She cleared her throat and gave Eliot a tentative smile. Eliot raised her eyebrows at her teasingly. Kelly rolled her eyes playfully and smirked as she walked away. Well…well…well Mr. Ryan Matthews had a crush on an older women who by the looks of it enjoyed his attention greatly. Maybe she didn't have to worry about her father when it came to Kelly but as Nate plopped down next to her she cleared her throat thinking about her uncle again...and her cousins.

"Who was that talking to my mom?" he asked semi uninterested.

"That's Mr. Matthew's…he is the new AP english teacher."

Nate nodded, accepting and mildly apathetic, "He looks young. Why can't there be any hot young new female teachers?" Nate said with a laugh.

Eliot laughed, "You're crazy, maybe you should try dating someone your own age." she shook her head.

Nate winked at her, "Oh stop. I'm kidding. I have a date with Pamela Davis Friday night."

Eliot looked at him disgusted, "Ew Nate…she's ew."

Nate took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged, "She asked I felt bad saying no. It's not a big deal. I know Byron wont give a damn."

Eliot shook her head knowing that was true, "No." she laughed. "He'll give you his blessing I'm sure." Eliot rolled her eyes.

Nate got the joke and laughed. "Just…3 words or you my cousin."

Nate looked at her curiously, "What's that?"

"Wear a condom." Eliot said with a giggle as Nate practically choked on his sandwich.

He wrapped his arm loosely around his cousin and kissed her temple, "Oh El…safety is my middle name, but my dick thanks you." he joked as Eliot pushed him playfully. Nate laughed out loud.

"You are foul." Nate continued to laugh as Alyssa plopped down next to them.

"Did you see the new english teacher…oh my god El…he is so hot. I wonder if he's married?" Alyssa said dreamy.

Eliot pursed her lips together trying to keep the irony hidden, she smiled, "You Walsh kids…I swear to god with the older fascination." Nate and Alyssa laughed and continued eating their lunch. She looked towards the school thinking. If Kelly had given up on Brandon…and Dylan…could she possibly be into a cute young english teacher? She was beginning to think that the drama surrounding her family…might just be beginning. She watched Nate and Alyssa head to class but then Eliot's attention went to arguing. She recognized the voices immediately without seeing it 10 feet away from her.

"Why are you being like this?" Byron said through clenched teeth.

"Being like what Byron?" Emma said back equally as angry.

"Being…such a fucking girl Emma…you're being a fucking girl." Eliot's eyes widened. _Oh shit!_

"Well excuse me genius I am a girl." Emma yelled at him.

"I can't deal with this…I did nothing wrong." Byron argued. "There is nothing going on with me and Audrey…jesus, I lent her my fucking math book."

She watched her best friend wipe a tear and cross her arms. Byron stood there after a few beats he took her face in his hands, "Hey…I'm sorry I called you a girl." He sighed dramatically. "Ever since we got back from the desert you haven't been acting like yourself. What is it? Whats going on? Is it me? Do you not love me anymore?" Byron pleaded. "Sweetie talk to me." he begged.

Emma back away from him, "I got to get to history." and just like that she walked away from him. Byron's hands dropped to his sides as he watched her walk away. His hand came through his hair frustrated as he turned to see Eliot staring at him. He shook his head as he approached his sister.

"Everything okay?" She asked knowing it was not.

"No…everything is shit. Has Emma said anything to you? Did something happen in Palm Springs? I can't reach her. She freaks out on me at any fucking thing, she is picking fights for no reason. Then she accused me of flirting with Audrey. What the fuck...Audrey? I'm sure! Just because I lent her my math book to review before the quiz. Eliot what the hell is her problem? Does she want to break up with me?"

Eliot swallowed hard, "I don't know." she said not really knowing for sure.

Byron sighed again, "Are you cool with finding a ride home? I got to get out of here." he looked like his mind was a million miles away as he looked out towards the parking lot.

Eliot nodded, "Yeah of course…I'll ask Aidan." Byron didn't look at her as he nodded and walked away, "See you at home." she called out but only received a hand raise in acknowledgment as her brother continued to his car.

Eliot exhaled, what was Emma's problem? Was it weird to ask? I mean she was her best friend but if something was happening in her relationship it was a little weird considering it was her brother. Maybe she wouldn't tell her? Eliot heard the late bell, only having study hall but grabbed her stuff quickly making her way to class. At least she could read her fathers journal…get her mind off of the drama that was surrounding her.

Byron made his way into his house and tossed his backpack to the floor. "Mom?" he called out.

"Mom's not here she had a meeting for a new role…what are you doing home?" Dylan closed his book giving his attention to his son.

"I bailed after lunch…I don't feel very good." Byron said semi honestly.

Dylan nodded, "You want to talk about it?" Dylan looked at him, knowing there was more going on.

Byron shrugged as he stuck his pockets into his jeans. "Not really." he breathed. "I'm gonna go lie down." he barely looked at his father as he climbed the steps. Dylan watched him disappear. He was about to follow him when he heard his phone ring. "Hello?" he answered not recognizing the LA number.

"Dylan?" Gina said softly.

"Gina…how are you?"

Gina exhaled into the phone, "You know what…actually pretty good. How's Aidan?"

"He's doing real good actually. He's kicking ass in track and his grades are good. He's a good kid Gina…he misses you…but he's fine." Dylan said truthfully.

"That's good to hear…I miss him too. I called his cell a couple days ago but I didn't leave a message. He probably hates me." Gina said sadly.

"He loves you Gina…you're his mother, I'm sure he would love to talk to you."

"I guess you're right."

Silence filled the phone call.

Dylan opened his mouth to say something but Gina spoke first, "I just want to say thank you Dylan. For…talking me into coming here…for looking after Aidan…thank you so much." Dylan heard the tears in her voice.

"Gina…you would have done the same for me." Dylan exhaled.

Gina huffed, "I hope I would have but shit who knows with me." she breathed out.

Dylan smiled, "Gina you are a good person…everyone needs help once in a while. God I know I have too many times to count."

"True." silence.

"We just want you to get better." Dylan added.

"I'm getting there. I should go." Gina spoke softly. "Will you tell Aidan I love him. Tell him I will try to call this weekend."

"Of course." Dylan smiled. "Take care of yourself Gina…call anytime…We are here for you…and Aidan."

"I know. Say hi to Brenda…Byron and kiss Eliot for me. That girl is so sweet it's ridiculous."

Dylan laughed, "She has her moments but I will."

Gina laughed, "Don't they all. Bye Dylan…and thank you again."

"Anytime Gina. Bye." Dylan hit off on his phone and took a deep breath. He smiled softly. He was happy he put whatever weird feelings that were between him and Gina aside and reached out to her. He cared about Aidan, almost as much as his own kids. He deserved any chance to have a normal life, with a loving mother especially because his dad was gone. Dylan looked in the direction of the stairs. He wanted to check on Byron. Something was going on and he hadn't seen Byron like this…maybe ever. He was always joking and funny. Never dramatic or overly emotional.

Dylan climbed the stars. he looked to Byron's door that was a few inches open. He heard him crying quietly as he walked towards it. He pushed it open softly, it took Dylan a second to register the sight in front of him. There his 17 year old tough boy son was crying.

"By." Dylan whispered. Walking into the room.

Byron wiped his face, embarrassed, "I'm fine." he looked toward the wall.

"You aren't fine son…what's going on?" Dylan sat next to him. Byron wouldn't look at him as he quickly wiped his face again. "Hey. Talk to me." Dylan said softly, his heart broke and he hadn't seen Byron cry since his great grandparents died, and still that was only at the funeral.

Byron looked at his dad, he shook his head. "I'll talk to mom about it when she gets home…its no big deal." then he looked to the floor. A tear running down his cheek.

Dylan took a deep breath, "Look Byron…if you feel more comfortable talking to mom about whatever is upsetting you that's ok…but…you don't have to hide your emotions from me. I'm your dad. I'm here whenever you need me, it's okay for guys to cry…you know that right?"

Byron looked at him, "You don't." he said softly.

Dylan smiled and chuckled, "Yeah…yeah I do." Dylan took a deep breath, "Let me tell you a couple stories when I was your age. Your mom and I were on our first date. We planned to see a movie but…I had other plans in mind." Dylan rolled his eyes, this story was easier to tell his son then daughter. "I took her back to my place. Where we could be alone…and talk." Byron smiled wiping his nose knowing that was a crock of shit. "We walk in the door and your grandfather was home. He had a bunch of his cronies there, work people and he starts in on me, like he usually did. We had words in private but I knew your mom heard us, we were fighting loudly about something not even important really…I mean not to me anyway. I stormed out and went for a shot of scotch. Your mom put her foot down and reminded me I was the driver for the evening. I was so angry with my dad I stormed out as your poor mother followed me outside, trying to get me to talk to her about it. She was trying to be supportive. We started arguing…"

"Wait dad this was your first date?" Byron's wide light eyes stared at him.

Dylan chucked, "Yeah…oh it gets better. We were arguing and I reacted and grabbed a ceramic pot and threw it to the ground. It shattered everywhere. Your mom was scared shitless and she ran. I knew I had royally screwed up and I ran after her, catching her in a bear hug practically and almost violently turning her around to look at me. I didn't want her to leave, it wasn't her…it was my dad, it was always my dad. She was crying, she told me I was scaring her and I pulled back a little. She asked me what happened and I told her. My father gets to me…he always gets me. And then." Dylan looked into his sons curious eyes, "I bawled like a baby. I clung to her, and cried because I had always been alone. I didn't have anyone to cry too. I always tried to be tough and cool and collected and one look from your moms sweet face and I broke down."

"What did she do?" Byron wide eyes looked into his dads.

"I sobbed into her neck and she hugged me and let me cry like a little kid."

"Wow." Byron breathed, "Then what happened?"

Dylan smiled, "Then we had our first kiss, like fireworks, explosive and emotional…intense and passionate…all consuming, powerful…incredible…amazing first kiss. I fell in love with her."

Byron looked down and swallowed hard. "What i'm trying to say By…your mom didn't look at me weird or think I wasn't cool anymore so to speak because I cried. She looked at me like a real person. When she broke up with me the first time. I cried right there in my speedster in front of her, actually begging her not to leave me. It wasn't my finest moment but I was utterly heartbroken. It's ok for a man to show emotions, some people are more emotional then others but it doesn't make you less cool…or less of a man for showing them. If anything it shows people you are more in touch with them." His hand came lovingly to his shoulder." Byron's silence filled the bedroom, so Dylan started to get up to leave him with his thoughts. As he turned towards the door, Byron spoke up.

"I think I'm gonna break up with Emma." he blurted out.

Dylan turned to look at him, "Why?"

Byron teared up again, "I don't know what's going with her, I don't think she loves me anymore. It's almost like maybe she wants to but she is waiting for me to do it first."

Dylan's head tiled to the side as he walked back towards the bed sitting next to him again. "Do you still love her?"

Byron closed his eyes as tears fell from his face. He nodded, "I do."

"Have you tried talking to her? Telling her how you feel?"

"Every time I try we fight. I don't know…everything is different. She practically picks fights with me…she accused me of cheating or wanting to cheat with Audrey. I don't even look at Audrey like that, plus she's with Stevie. I wouldn't do that to my friend. I just don't." Byron exhaled, "I don't know if its worth it."

Dylan gave him a small smile, "If you love her…truly love her…its worth every minute of it." Dylan said honestly. "Look Byron…me and your mom…we have been through a lot together. Some of the best times were with her and some of the worst were too. I can't tell you how many times we broke each others hearts but…it was all worth it. All the joy and pain and separation…was well worth it. You need to be honest with Emma. You need to talk to her and find out whats bothering her. It sounds like maybe she is insecure about something and maybe if you knew why…you could fix it. Don't just break it off with her because you want to do it first. Maybe thats not what she want at all? It's ok to be yourself with someone you love. Emma adores you because of exactly who you are." Byron smiled through his teary eyes and nodded.

"Thanks dad." he said softly. Dylan reached around his son and hugged him tightly. He didn't pat him on the back like guys Do. Instead he rubbed his sons back affectionately and let him finish crying. He gently kissed his head when Byron began to pull away.

Dylan smiled and gave his son a nod and got up. "I'll send your mom in when she gets home."

Byron looked at his dad, "It's ok…I'm good." he said with a sad smile.

Dylan looked at his son as his heart swelled. He left Byron with his thoughts and went downstairs to read hoping that everything would be okay and pretty proud of himself for being the kind of father he always wanted to be.

Brenda laid on her bed, she read the letter a few times not being able to contain her smile.

"What are you doing beautiful?" Dylan appeared in the doorway stopping to take in his wife. She lay on her belly, legs in the air in one of his old t-shirts. Her black panties on full display lying on her perfect ass.

Brenda sighed dreamily, "Guess what I found?" Dylan sat next to her as she handed him the letter, he smiled shyly. "That was the most beautiful thing you ever written me. it's a shame I didn't get it for a while. Since you sent it to London and I never went back to London." Brenda laughed lightly as she turned so she was on her back now, looking up at her husband. He pushed back her hair from her forehead lovingly looking into her eyes before looking down at the letter again. "Read it to me." she said softly.

Dylan gave her a soft smile and began, "Say you love me to my face

I'm needing more than your embrace

Just say you want me, that's all it takes

Heart's getting torn from all of our mistakes

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again

If you don't wanna try,

But all that I've been thinking of

Is maybe that you might

Babe, it looks as though we're running out of words to say

And our love's floating away

Just say you love me, just for today

And don't give me time 'cause that's not the same

Want to feel burning flames when you say my name

Want to feel passion flow into my bones

Like blood through my veins

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again

If you don't wanna try,

But all that I've been thinking of

Is maybe that you might

And, babe, it looks as though we're running out of words to say

And our love's floating away

Won't you stay? Won't you stay?

Slowly, slowly you unfold me,

But do you know me at all anymore?

Someone told me love controls everything,

But only if you know…I know.

'Cause I don't wanna fall in love again

If you don't wanna try

But all that I've been thinking of

Is maybe that you might

Won't you stay?

Won't you stay?

Choose me Bren?

Dylan smiled down at the letter and took a deep breath. She felt Brenda reach up, taking the back of her knuckles and caressing his cheek. Dylan placed his hand into hers as he stared down at the letter, he had written her after reuniting at the wedding. He had begged her to stay, once again Dylan thought Brenda was choosing her career and doing that tour in Switzerland. He had been heartbroken again. The time they spent in the hotel after the wedding felt different this time. For once in Dylan's life, he knew exactly what he wanted but he also knew that they had one more chance to make this right because he didn't think either one of them could survive if it didn't work. He knew Brenda was scared. He knew by the look in her eyes the love was still there…maybe more then every before. He knew her choosing her career the last time…that time…was because she was afraid.

"Baby." Brenda whispered as he was deep in thought. His eyes met hers as she looked up at him. "Make love to me."

No words were spoken as the letter feathered to the floor. They melted together as one. The only words that were uttered were 4 powerful words that they had said to one another often…I choose you always.

 _SIGH….SWOON…I love them so much. I felt like they needed a little romance and passion since the fight and drama of Palm Springs. Next up…we see into kelly's journal…more with Ryan and Kelly. Also more journals finishing poor Scott's death and U4EA…My desperate Valentine…Eliot finally finds out how crazy Miss Emily is. There will probably be more but thats what the plan is so far.I know not much with Brandon and Val but its coming...oh its coming. Review...I love that you guys are liking this story as much as I am._


	26. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26**_

 _ **May 17, 2000**_

 _ **Donna and Davids wedding**_

 _Dylan watches Kelly as she dances around with Donna and Janet. She looks happy, carefree and like she was having a great time. Dylan clutches his scotch and takes a sip. He was off and he knows it._

" _You alright man?" David appears by his side, he sips his champagne and smiles seeing the girls having fun._

 _Dylan clears his throat and nods slowly, "Yeah…I'm good…it was a good wedding."_

 _David smiles and makes eye contact with him, trying to read his sudden drop in mood, but Dylan was always quiet and reserved, he was hard to figure out. "Yeah it was." he breathes. His heart heavy and full of love as he glances at Donna. "So you and Kelly? Back on again huh?" he smiles and lifts his eyebrow bringing his attention back to his old friend. "Looks like we all got what we wanted finally."_

 _Dylan swallowed hard, he stares at Kelly. He has wanted her back for so long. She has been keeping him at arms length, showing more than friendship but hadn't committed until tonight. Now that he has what he has wanted, he wasn't sure how his mood had turned so suddenly. It should had made him happy. She finally was giving in to her feelings and setting aside whatever fears she had with him. There was a hole in his heart though, it felt like something was missing. He had Kelly in the palm of his hand, last thing he said to her before their consummated kiss, was…"Dance with me…it's not a one time offer…we can wait." Kelly responded, "I don't want to wait." Sharing that kiss with her, seemed to fit. It felt good to be on the edge of being a couple again. Why wasn't he more excited? It felt all wrong. Like this wasn't suppose to happen. He thought of her. He knew he shouldn't have. It wasn't the first time in the last few days that she came to his mind. He had been looking through poems to read for the ceremony, after going through Browning, Byron and Eliot he finally came across a Slow Dance. That was the first time in months Brenda Walsh came into his mind. Upon reading it he couldn't help but be brought to her, to their long on and off relationship, mostly their first kiss, which the poem is about. Dylan didn't answer David, guilt rushed over him, even thinking about her again. She was gone, she had been gone. She choose her career and London and Dylan had moved back. He was over her. He set down his drink and clasped his hand on his shoulder needing a quick moment to himself._

" _Excuse me for a sec, gotta hit the little boys room." Dylan excused himself to the restroom. David watched him walk away curiously. He shrugged lightly and went to join his new bride on the dance floor._

 _Dylan untucked his dress shirt as he walked through the double doors of the hotels ball room exhaling deeply. As he turned the corner on the way to the restroom, he smacked right into someone. His hands came out to steady both of them then his eyes widened as he took in who it was._

" _Brandon! Oh my god man…how are you?" Dylan smiled widely. Both men hugged with force. He hadn't seen his old friend in over 5 years. They both slapped each other on the back a couple times as they smiled. Dylan kept his hand on his shoulder, "How are you doing brother…it's been forever man."_

 _Brandon laughed, "I know…Bren and I caught a last minute flight from DC. Better late than never right? I'm good…how are you doing?" Dylan's eyes met the petite brunette that stood beside him. She was here! Her grey blue eyes shined bright as they stared into his. She smiled slightly as she looked down._

 _Dylan smiled, "I'm good. Wow…it's…it's so good to see you both." His eyes never left Brenda's. He was just thinking about her and BAM here she was…in the flesh._

 _Silence filled the trio. Dylan and Brenda continued staring at one another._

 _Brandon sensing the awkward energy finally spoke up, "Well…I'm gonna go say hello to the gang. We'll catch up later." Brandon looked between them and after getting no response he made his way into the ballroom._

 _Brenda looked at him. He looked good, his hair was longer than she remembered. She took a deep breath. "Hi Dylan." she finally spoke._

 _Dylan smiled and shook his head stepping closer to her, "Hey Bren." his eyes finally left hers as he took her in. She wore a simple strapless black dress. It came a little below her knee, hugging her thin frame like it was made for her. The soft curve of her breasts lifted tastefully showing delicious cleavage. She finished it off with a pair of scrappy heels. Dylan was well aware his eyes were drinking her up. It had been 2 years since he had seen her. Her hair was longer, past her shoulders now. The fresh cut ends hanging loosely above her breasts. Her bangs grown out and now she wore her hair parted in the middle. It was a dark rich brown and made her blue eyes almost look green in the hotel light. Dylan wanted to reach for her. He wanted to touch her face, her lips, it was an overwhelming urge he wasn't used to. Two minutes ago even with Kelly by his side he felt empty, now he felt whole and happy. The silence that surrounded them made Brenda uneasy as she went to step around him. They hadn't broken up on the best of terms and she hadn't talked to him in as long as their split. She past him and suddenly Dylan's hand reached out and grabbed hers. He pulled her towards him with ease as the front of her body hit his. His arms snaked around her small frame tightly. Brenda's eyes closed as she breathed her air filled lungs out into his chest. Her arms met around his neck and she squeezed him back tightly. Butterflies swarmed her belly, electric heat bounced off of them. 2 years hadn't done anything to her memory or the love that filled her heart. His head moved into her hair as she heard him breath in her scent. She moved her face into his neck, resting her lips against it without kissing it. Her eyes filled with tears unwillingly. Her arms crossed over one another holding him tighter as she felt his arms tighten around her waist._

" _Bren." he breathed into her ear. It sent chills down her body and heat between her legs. He pulled away wanting to see her face but kept his closeness. She looked down embarrassed of her tears. Dylan smiled bringing both hands to her face. His thumb wiped stray tears from both sides. He brought his forehead to hers and they closed their eyes._

" _I can't believe it's you." he whispered. She gently came too and pushed herself away from him gently._

" _It's good to see you." she tried to act normal, when their reunion was anything but. There was no awkward stance or fidgeting, it was almost like no time had passed at all. Feeling close to him when she knew she shouldn't._

 _He cleared his throat, "It's good to see you too." silence again surrounded them now 6 inches between them._

 _Dylan swallowed hard feeling that hole in his heart heart close…the one he felt moments before was filled just like that. Dylan moved quickly, he didn't think about where they were or of rejection. He moved on instinct. Both his hands clasped her lower back as he pulled her aggressively to him as his lips hit hers. They froze, lips to lips for a moment. Brenda's hand came to his face as she responded. Opening her mouth with his. His breath sweet and all him. Dylan's tongue pushed into hers gently, as his hand came to the back of her head winding into her hair. They moved in sync, it was warm and familiar. His opposite hand grabbing at her back intensely, sliding down to squeeze her butt._

" _Dylan." Brenda whispered, her eyes still closed, she didn't want to stop, "Not here."_

 _Dylan nodded and took her hand gently, he pulled her to the elevators. He pushed the button, then his hand came to her face again, kissing her roughly this time. The elevator door binged loudly breaking them apart momentarily. Dylan picked her up effortlessly off the floor. His lips not moving from hers as he backed them into it. He quickly glanced at the numbers pressing his floor and then his lips were on hers again. Opening and closing, tongues dancing together deliciously. He pinned her against the side of the elevator breaking for air as he looked into her eyes bringing her to her feet._

" _I swear…one look at you…my whole life falls in line." he whispered against her lips. Brenda smiled as she kissed him and moaned. This wasn't what she had planned but she would be lying if she said her coming didn't have to do with him. "God I missed you." he murmured between kisses._

 _Brenda's hand found his face through the passionate kiss and went into his hair, longer now she gripped it. He groaned loudly, "I missed you too." she answered back finally. Dylan's hand came to her zipper in the back. The doors from the elevator binged loudly again and opened. He practically started unzipping it and he carried her down the hall towards his suite._

 _Everything happened so fast, Brenda's dress was discarded in the living room of the suite, along with Dylan's suit jacket. As the kissed hungrily and danced towards the bedroom, Brenda finally felt the floor with her feet. She finally looked into his eyes, there was a powerful hunger of lust and love that shown brightly._

 _She slowly reached back and unsnapped her strapless bra, Dylan's eyes left hers and travelled down her body. His look made her feel sexy._

" _You are still so beautiful." he whispered. "You look incredible." Brenda shyly smirked and looked down before her eyes met his again. Now that the urgency to be alone was gone, she stepped towards him, all that lie between them was undergarments. She wrapped her arms around his neck again, placing a chastised kiss to his ready mouth._

 _Dylan smiled and shook his head, "I still can't believe you're here."_

" _Me neither." she breathed against his mouth._

 _Dylan bent a little and took his mouth to her left breast, cupping the right one timidly. He squeezed it gently as his tongue swept across her taut nipple. She moaned out as she held his head. His tongue glided into the valley of her breasts before repeating the same sensual act on the right one. He kissed her lips again softly, then stared at her. She sat on the bed slowly, using her hands to move to the center of it. Dylan was over her in an instant. Kissing down her neck. She had had sex a lot while living in New York with Valerie these past 2 years but it never felt like this. She hadn't felt this loved and warm since…well him. Dylan lowered himself, kissing down her chest, her abdomen, her hip then his mouth kissed her lace covered pelvic bone as she closed her eyes. He wasn't even where she wanted him to be yet but the pleasure made her wet in anticipation. He made his way up to her breast again, his sexy mouth closing around the whole thing as he sucked softly. Moving his tongue around twice as she arched into him. His hands were everywhere as he kissed her deeply. It was like he was memorizing her body again after all this time. Brenda reached for his boxer briefs as Dylan got the hint. He backed away from her and stood and Brenda instantly felt the loss. He watched her with lustful eyes as he pushed them down easily. After a beat he was crawling over her again. His palms went to the sides of her hips again caressing them slowly. Dylan gripped the offending lace roughly and slid them down her thighs painfully slow._

" _Dylan." Brenda breathed, "Please." she shamefully begged needing him. Brenda had been intimate with Dylan for way too many years. She knew what came next. He smirked up at her hearing her beg. He settled in between her legs, his eyes never leaving hers as he pushed her legs open slowly. His tongue darted out quickly as he tasted her, slow and steady her soft folds hugging his mouth. Brenda moaned loudly. Dylan got comfortable his arms wrapping around her hips and thighs as he pressed his tongue flat against her most sensitive bundle and began to devour her. Dylan closed his eyes concentrating. The familiar moans of Brenda filled his senses and urged him on. He had missed her, truly missed her and it was hard not to think about London and their life together there. As he continued his tongue assault he heard Brenda's moans and breathing intensify. He sped up, licking at her slick folds like he was a starved man. His tongue fell into a steady pace, as it circled and pressed against her sensitive clit. Just when he knew Brenda was about to come undone he inserted one finger into her heat, then a second finding the spot he had gotten to know well. He only got a few deep thrusts in when._

" _Oh…god." she moaned loudly and came hard against his face with a long moan of satisfaction. She shook slightly riding out her bliss. He slowed and then eventually stopped as he felt Brenda's hand rest on his head pushing him a little. He slowly kissed up her body. As he felt Brenda's body relax and calm._

 _He hovered over her as her eyes opened. Her chest heaving with deep breaths still recovering. He kissed her hard, she could taste herself and Dylan as his tongue met hers. Weirdly It turned her on a little._

" _You have no idea how much I missed that." he uttered playfully._

 _Brenda giggled a little, high from her orgasm. He kissed her neck and Brenda reached between them. There was no need to get Dylan in the mood, he stood firm like steel in her hand ready as ever. He grunted a little as her small hand gripped tightly and moved up and down his shaft._

 _Dylan grabbed Brenda's hips roughly as she moved a few inches down the bed closer to him. He moved the tip through her opening, Brenda moaned loudly again. She was sensitive but it was doable. He lined himself up and looked into her loving eyes as he pushed into her slowly. Warm tight perfection held him. He leaned over her letting her get used to his size and kissed her softly. As he sat inside of her, he took this moment in. They stared into each others eyes, his fingers gently pushing her hair away from her forehead. Dylan leaned in and kissed her gently again. He let his tongue enter slowly meeting hers. Then they both deepened it. He kept is weight on his elbows and stayed flush with her as he started moving. Slowly taking in every inch of her. He felt like it had been forever since he had been intimate with Brenda but yet it was all comfortable and familiar. He made love to her, pushing his full self into her slowly, deeply his mouth never leaving hers. His heart burst with love and while he moved inside her he knew he loved her still, he hadn't really stopped. He realized this had to be meant to be this felt more right than anything he had felt in the last 2 years. She popped into his life at the exact time he knew something was missing. Dylan knew they belonged together. He looked into her eyes again, the 3 words on the tip of his tongue. At that moment Dylan knew Brenda loved him too. Her eyes forth telling. The intimacy too real…too emotional not to be. Instead of saying I love you which was all he was thinking he began, "I remember how seeing the shape of your mouth that first time, I kept staring until my blood turned to rain. Some things take root in the brain and just…don't let go." he recited T.S. Eliot whispering as he plunged in and out of her slowly._

 _Her fingers came to his face lovingly, she remembered this poem from back in high school. Dylan had written it in a love note for her. She got lost in memories for a moment. Then Dylan pushed into her deeply and her hand flung to the bed above her head taking her back to the present moment. Dylan hand caressed up her arm slowly, pushing in and out of her steadily. His fingers met hers as they laced together. Keeping them intertwined lovingly they made love until sweat glistened from their bodies, making them stick together as one. Dylan squeezed her hand tenderly as her walls clamped around him suddenly. Brenda's cry out was sensual and sexy as his lips connected with hers. He groaned loudly into her mouth as he emptied into her his orgasm hitting him out of no where. They rode out their orgasms together blissfully, their fingers laced together intimately. Nose to nose they breathed life into each other. Little did Brenda and Dylan know…in nine months they'd be parents._

 _Dylan's eyes opened as Brenda lay asleep, her face centimeters from his. His hand came up moving her hair away from her face so he could see her better. They'd been holed up in this hotel room for days. Making love, laughing, reminiscing. Dylan didn't think he had ever closed the outside world out so well in his life, and he was very good at that. He didn't care about the outside world though because these past 4 days felt like home. The one thing that hadn't come up was anything to do with the future and the love they were both feeling inside for one another. Neither of them breathed those 3 words that had flowed out so easily before when it came to them. Brenda's eyes fluttered open, as if sensing he was staring at her._

 _"Morning handsome." she stretched a little and smiled._

 _"Morning pretty girl." he smiled back. His thumb caressing her lips tenderly._

 _Brenda moaned a little as she kissed him intensely. These past few days had been much the same. Sex, cuddles, laughing, talks, room service, shower together, sex again, cuddles, laughing, reminiscing, sleep, sex, room service and so on and so on. Dylan knew it was time to discuss what all this was, what it meant. He pulled away from the kiss, hugging her to him for a moment._

 _"Bren." Dylan breathed full of emotion, "How long are you here for?" he asked scared of what the answer was._

 _Brenda smirked, "How long do you want me to be." her voice thick with seduction and flirtation. Dylan smirked and kissed her deeply again, "Brenda…" he paused nervous now. Brenda's head tilted to the side, her fingers coming to his face trying to show him he could tell her anything._

 _He stared into her eyes, "I love you. I've always loved you. I knew I still loved you as soon as I saw you downstairs. These last two years I've been lost. I didn't know what I wanted in my life but seeing you again has brought everything together. I want to be with you. These past 4 days have been eye opening. Finally I feel like I know what I want…I want you."_

 _Brenda smiled touched. Her thumb grazed his lips, "I love you too." she said in a whisper._

 _It didn't take long for Brenda and Dylan to make love again. After 4 days of doing just that, it felt necessary now that their feelings were out in the open. Finally saying those 3 words that had clouded both their minds for days…maybe years. As Dylan held her in his arms, both breathing heavily from their orgasms and love making Dylan spoke._

 _"I have to talk to Kelly." he said low but Brenda heard clearly. She sat up taking the sheet with her._

 _She looked at him oddly, "Why would you have to talk to Kelly?" she couldn't help the bitterness in her tone. Why he would ruin this perfect bubble of love with her name._

 _Dylan exhaled and sat up. He leaned against the headboard his hands ringing together nervously. "I'm with Kelly."_

 _Brenda's eyes widened. "You're with Kelly?" she had no idea. She hadn't heard they were back together. Granted she lived in another country but last she heard Kelly was with some lawyer. That's why it seemed so easy for brandon to talk her into coming with him while she visited him in DC. "You're with Kelly?" she repeated angry now. "You have got to be shitting me?" Brenda got up hastily in search of her clothes. Dylan was on his feet in a moment. He watched Brenda find her panties as she pulled them on. He grabbed his boxers and hoisted them over his hips quickly._

 _"Brenda…please…let me explain." he stopped her shuffle of trying to find her stuff. Both hands on her upper arms. She looked hurt as she looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything. She has been the last thing on my mind since I saw you." she tried to pull away as he pulled her back gently. "Brenda I love you. I want you. Please believe me." he begged._

 _Brenda pulled back from him angrily, "You've been sleeping with me for days Dylan…I cant believe you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend…and its kelly?!" She was still shocked. All this over again. She didn't think she could handle this._

 _"Brenda I didn't say anything because I didn't care. I saw you and finally my life felt complete. Please please baby…believe me. I didn't know where you were. You were gone, you choose London and a life without me. I haven't been with Kelly long, we actually just made things official at the wedding…please Brenda…dont leave."_

 _Brenda wiped a tear that had escaped as she exhaled, "I cant believe this." Dylan saw her calming._

 _"We can tell her together." his hands came to her face._

 _"Tell her what Dylan." Brenda's tone defeated. These past 4 days have been the best time in her life since they were together in London. She wasn't sure she wanted to deal with all this again but the thought of leaving, being without him again made her heart ache._

 _Dylan moved slowly to her. His arms winding around her bare waist. Chest to chest he kissed her forehead before his eyes fell on hers. "Tell her that I had finally chosen. That I want to spend the rest of my life with you."_

 _All this seemed too much. Brenda wanted nothing more than to be with him, but hearing the name Kelly in their love bubble brought back reality. "I'm going to Switzerland. My tour starts in a week." she rushed out lying. She had no tour, no play. She went to visit her brother because she had to get out of London. After moving back there from New York all the memories came flooding back of their life together there. She had no plan. All she knew was she couldn't be there anymore so she went for a long visit to DC. There Brandon talked her into going to LA with him and here she was._

 _"You're leaving?" hurt evident in his voice. "No." he shook his head, "No." he said more stern._

 _"Dylan…it's my job." She backed away from him. She began collecting her things again needing the space._

 _"Are you fucking kidding me? Stay with me. I just got you back." his voice wounded. "You can't leave now." he begged._

 _"Dylan!" she stopped after fastening her strapless. "Look at us…this is the same thing all over again. You and me again? it's not a good idea." she looked down, she couldn't even look at him in the eyes. Guilt and loss already running through her veins._

 _"But." Dylan exhaled, "I love you."_

 _Brenda looked at him, she sighed and wiped her tear. "I love you too. It's just too much." She stepped into her dress and looked at him in silence as she zipped it up. "I'm gonna go."_

 _Dylan rushed her, his hands on her face, "Please stay with me Bren. Don't go to Switzerland. You don't have to do that tour. I can take care of you. You can act here. Please don't leave me again for your work." Dylan begged._

 _"I don't have a choice, I've committed to it Dylan." She said quietly. She leans in and kisses him gently. "I'll always love you Dylan. These past few days have been incredible."_

 _"Then don't leave." he breathes against her lips. "Please."_

 _Their lips find each other again. This one doesn't go unnoticed by Dylan that it feels like goodbye, not forever. She opens her mouth to him as their tongues meet in a sweet embrace. The kiss is fiery and intense, loving and passionate._

 _"Goodbye Dylan." her forehead rests on his for a moment. Dylan stands silent his eyes closed feeling her close to him. The hole in his heart opening again. She pecks him softly again and turns to leave. His heart aches as he watches her leave. She chose her career again. As Dylan sits on the edge of his bed as he hears the door to the hotel suite close with a click. His face falls into his hands, again his life feels empty. He would feel this way for the next month until those grey blue eyes appear at his door with news that will change both their lives forever. News that will bring them together again and this time…forever connected._

Dylan's eyes open. His dream making him feel empty but as he awakens more he feels her against him. Her head laying on his chest, her arms around him. He tightens his hold around her frame. She is here, she has been here for 17 years comes to the front of his mind. It was just a memory…a dream. Brenda is asleep, her breathing even and calm. Dylan's hands run down her back as he kisses her head lightly. He closes his eyes with a content sigh, happy his life is where it is. Happy she came back. Happy he got her pregnant so he could have the chance to show her how much he loved her. Happy that fate stepped in and wouldn't allow them to make the same mistakes life had bestowed upon them. The way Brenda loves him, it changes who he is. He silently thanks god again for the millionth time that he gets to love her.

At that moment he wakes her, by shifting so he is looking at her. Sleep evident on her face she lightly smiles at him opening her eyes. His morning wood resting prominently on her belly. He begins kissing her hungrily, Brenda smiles mid kiss, knowing that Dylan is in the mood for morning sex. It happens frequently and Brenda loves it. To be woken up by kisses and touches in such an intimate way. As Dylan moves over her, the first time he was with her again, the night they conceived the twins fresh in his mind. He pushes into her forcibly as Brenda moans out loud. Her nails running down his back sending shivers down his body in return. Insecurity floods over him thinking about her leaving him for her fake Switzerland tour. For her new TV show. He fucks her hard, a feeling of rapture and command in his thrusts. He wants to own her after his dream. Bringing him back to a upsetting time of loss and struggle. He grunts loudly as he looks down thrusting hard and deep into her. Brenda is taken back by his predatory look as he looks into her eyes. But the powerful thrusts feels good. They had made love every way a couple could. Sometimes rough…sometimes slow…sometimes so passionate it could bring tears in her eyes. She knew by his stare he needed this. He wanted to posses her. He sat up a little, his hands finding both sides of her hips. He grips them almost painfully bringing himself deeper into her. His head falls back as he thrusts in and out of her quickly. He is loud and vocal and even though Brenda is taken back by his sexual aggression, pleasure rips through her whole body causing her to moan loudly. She knows something is bothering him but her body is tingling with enjoyment that she can't bare to stop him. She likes that he is possessing her. She likes that he is fucking her senselessly but one thought pops into her mind, Why?

"Turn around." he growls.

Brenda sits up and looks at him, confusion written all over her face as he stops moving and stays inside her. "Baby." she whispers, "Whats going on?" her hand comes to his face tenderly. She wants him to open up to her.

"I want to fuck you from behind." he says honestly.

"What is all this? Are you angry with me?" Brenda is taken back. it's not like they had never done this before but something felt odd about his sweet and loving caresses to this. Something changed.

Dylan exhales, "I'm not angry with you." guilt rushes him for being rough with her. He slides his arms around her waist and brings her flush against him into his lap. He is still inside her and it feels so good he has to hold back from coming right then and there. "I'm sorry…did I hurt you?" he looks into her eyes feeling badly.

She shakes her head, "No…are you okay?" her hand brushes back his hair looking into his hurt eyes.

"I just wanted to be with you…I'm sorry if we aren't on the same page." if he wanted to do it like this, maybe she wanted slow and steady.

"It's not that." She said sweetly seeing the look of shame across his handsome features. "Do you want to talk about it?" Her arms wrap around his neck as his tighten around her waist. She moves grinding herself against him. Pleasure ripping through them both. She doesn't want to stop but she wants to make sure he is okay. He moans out and closes his eyes.

He meets her thrusts with his own, "No…I just want to be with you." he says again grinding together delicously.

Brenda smiles at him, then he pushes deep into her causing her to scream out. Her head falls back she knows something is on his mind, maybe he'll tell her but at this point in time she cant bring herself to stop him. He kisses her hungrily, his aggression coming back full force. He pulls her to him roughly kissing her with wild abandonment. She is straddling him, her eyes looking down at him lustfully, his head tilted up so he can kiss her. He lifts her small frame effortlessly making her ride him quickly. His lips never leaving hers. Loud noises fill their bedroom and neither of them care. He lifts her laying her on her back again pumping in and out of her. He is over her again. With one swift motion Brenda is turned, Dylan is pulled out of her and the front of her body hits the mattress. Dylan grabs her hips, raising them as she is on all fours now as he pulls her back to him. He slips inside her roughly as he pounds into her over and over again. Dylan is grunting loudly, its feral and sexy and Brenda is turned on. His hand finds her breast as he squeezes hard. He is moving into her so quickly Brenda closes her eyes. It is painful but a good painful. She feels her orgasm coming quickly. As he feels Dylan grab her hair forcibly, driving into her hard. She cries out as pleasure rushes through her core and over her body, she cums hard as her moans and cries ride it out, this isn't a typical orgasm, it's lasting longer, its intense and is making her scream out in satisfaction. Dylan grunting with every push into her moving faster and faster, the grunts louder and wild. Another orgasm hits Brenda again, not sure when the last one stopped and this one began.

"Dylan!" she screams not sure what is happening to her body at the moment. She is shaking uncontrollably as he keeps driving into her hard, wetness falling between both of them . Finally Dylan pulls her whole body up, her back against his chest as he grabs both breasts, hanging on for dear life. He continues fucking her from this new position, his face in her neck as he finally lets go with a fierce groan, he cums in her hard pumping in and out riding it out with a series of moans. He thrusts into her one last time with a grunt, freezing deeply inside of her. His orgasm long and intense he breaths heavily into her ear. Brenda is trembling uncontrollably against him, catching her breath he holds on to her tightly, she is still climaxing. A few beats she is coming down. She can't feel anything at the moment but bliss. She can barely hold herself up.

"Fuck." she breathes, not sure what just happened.

"My god." he breathes, he's not sure what came over himself either.

Brenda falls onto the bed her legs and mind mush. He slides besides her, his head on her chest as he hugs her tighyly, childlike.

"Don't leave me for your work Bren." His voice low, breathy and demanding. Finally letting out his fear. Tears fill his eyes as he realizes what this take down meant. The show…he's scared she'll get famous and leave him. Like Brenda may always be fearful of Dylan and Kelly, Dylan will always be nervous of her choosing her career again.

Her eyes closed, she shakes her head, "Never." she breathes, "I'll never leave you." she reassures him.

"Promise?" Dylan asks insecure and emotional.

"I promise." she breathes finally opening her eyes. Her hand goes to his head as she plays with his hair, her work is a touchy subject it always has been and she hasn't decided on the show. Whatever fear Dylan is having is for nothing because Brenda wouldn't change the life she has now for all the fame in the world.

Kelly sits in her bed, her laptop on her lap as she scrolls down. She hears her phone chirp and she grabs it checking the incoming text message.

 _Let me take you to dinner?_ It's from Ryan.

She take a deep breath and sets it aside not answering. She has been trying to dodge his advances all week. She looks to her computer again. She feels like her Facebook stalking of Brandon has become a daily occurrence. He doesn't post much but today she sees new photos. It's of Palm Springs. The first one he is standing close to his kids. Nate on one side, Alyssa on the other. They pose closely at what looks like the village in Palm Springs, Kelly smiles. She clicks the arrow to the next one. Brenda and Dylan stand in their swimsuits, arms around each other tightly. Brandon is next to Valerie, his arm loosely draped around her shoulders. She exhales and clicks the arrow to the next. It's a selfie of the four of them. Brandon holding out the camera, Dylan's lips connected to Brenda's cheek as she smiles a pretty closed mouth smile towards the camera. Brandon cheek to cheek with Valerie. They all look happy in the pic. The caption reads, family is where the heart is. Palm Springs. The last one is a group shot. David holding ruby on his hip as he cuddles into Donna, Emma and Byron arms around each other cheek to cheek, next to them Eliot and Aidan smile widely as he stands behind her with his arms around her waist, Nate…Alyssa posed with Valerie happily and Brandon, his arm is draped around Valerie as his daughter stands semi in front of him. Brenda and Dylan posed together cheek to cheek looking blissfuly happy. Her tears flow down her cheeks as she looks at how happy everyone is. Valerie and Brandon look like a couple with their children. She knows she is thinking crazy but the feeling of not being there, not included, not being by her own kids next to Brandon is overwhelming. That used to be her in the group shots. That used to be their trip to Palm Springs or Big bear or wherever the twins had decided to go. She roughly closes her lap top. She can't even look at them. She closes her eyes and cries. She thinks of the journal, the stupid journal she should have thrown out. Her eyes open as she looks at her closet. She moves her lap top to her bed and gets up. She glances up to the shelf and reaches up on her tip toes and grabs it. She looks down at the black leather thing that has caused all her pain it seems. She opens it and briefly reads it, she flips towards the back. May 17, 2000. She walks over towards her bed and sits again. She doesn't remember exactly what she wrote, it's been so long. She takes a deep breath and begins.

 _May 17, 2000_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I have no idea where Dylan is. He just left me at the reception. I knew trusting him was a mistake. Once an emotional no show always an emotional no show. I tried to enjoy the rest of the reception. Brandon showed up and he looked so good. Why did I screw that up with him again? Brandon was always the one that was there, he was present and always committed. Why did I allow Dylan McKay to get under my skin again? He'll never change._

 _Kelly_

 _May 19, 2000_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I ran into Brandon today at the pit. It was good to see him. He is always so nice and sweet. I asked him if he had seen any of the gang since the wedding. He mentioned he had seen Steve and had dinner with him and Janet, he then brought up Dylan. He said something that radiated into me and made my heart stop for a second. He said he hadn't seen Dylan since himself and Brenda ran into him outside the ballroom. He said matter of fact he hadn't seen his sister since either. Brenda is back? Brenda is back and Dylan is MIA? Well that explains everything. He is back with her I know it. How dare he? He begged me to commit to him, to take him back and at the first sight of Brenda he is gone. What an asshole Diary. I knew it, I knew he wasn't serious about me. Dylan McKay isn't serious about anyone. Brandon asked me to dinner tonight and I'm going. Fuck Dylan…fuck Brenda. They deserve each other._

Kelly.

Kelly's hand covers her mouth. No wonder Brandon was pissed. When she thinks back to that time, her memories are flooded with Brandon, reconnecting and starting their family. Now she reads into her mind and all she wrote about was Dylan. She scans numerous entries after, they are all the same. Dylan…Dylan…Brenda…Dylan…Brenda. "Oh my god." she breathes. it was like she was obsessed. She stops at another entry.

 _June 22, 2000_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I'm pregnant and I have never been happier. As soon as I took the test I drove over to Brandon's. He is so excited. He kissed me lovingly and told me he was going to marry me. My god Diary, my heart is full. Brandon and I have been seeing each other again for a few weeks and now this happens. It's like its meant to be. Finally everything is falling into place. I love him so much. He is my everything. And our love made a human being. Its just like it was all those years ago. Brandon is my soul mate and in 9 moths were going to be parents. I love my life. I love that I'm going to be a mom. I love that I get to share this with Brandon. It's like finally I know what I deserve and it's happiness with my one true love._

 _Kelly_

Did he not read this? Doesn't he know how much she loves him? Maybe there are journal entries about Dylan…but mostly about how much of a prick he is. She looks at the clock next to her bed. It's only 8am but she doesn't care. She gets up not caring she is in sweatpants and grabs her keys bringing the journal with her. She drives to Brandon's condo and parks. She takes a deep breath noticing a grey BMW parked on the street, she doesn't recognize it and walks up to his front door anyway, holding the journal with her left hand as her right knocks loudly on the door. She waits pateintly, her nerves a mess. No answer she knocks again, this time harder and longer. Finally the front door swings open. Brandon is standing in his pajama pants with no shirt on. He looks confused and nervous.

"Ah…Kel…what are you doing here?" he finally gets out.

Kelly pushes past him and walks into his living room, "I have to talk to you."

Brandon looks towards his hallway then back at her, "Now…isn't really the best time."

"No Brandon." She holds up the journal, "I know what it looks like in this. I know it seems like you were second choice, you were never second choice. He was Brandon. Since I fell in love with you…he was always second choice." Brandon looks down.

"Did you read the rest? Any of the other entries? When you and I had gotten together? When I found out I was pregnant?" Kelly stares at him and from the corner of her eye she sees someone. Valerie walks out into view from the hallway. Kelly freezes at the sight of her as she stares.

"Hey Kel." Valerie's voice strong and confident.

Kelly looks at the time on her watch, it's almost 8:30 in the morning, why is she here? And then it hits her. "Oh my god." she breathes. She looks at Brandon as he looks back at her, "You and Valerie?" she whispers.

"Kel…I." Brandon begins but then he stops, there is nothing that he can say to explain this. It had only happened twice since Palm Springs. He wasn't proud of it. He was just lonely and she was there and willing.

"You…and Valerie?" she repeats loudly.

Valerie points to the door, "Im gonna go." she says awkwardly before slipping out.

Kelly glares at Brandon. Tears streaming down her face. She lifts the journal up and throws it at him roughly. It hits his chest with a thump and falls to the floor, "You're sleeping with Valerie?" Kelly screams. "How could you!"

Brandon exhales and moves towards her, "Kelly…this is not your business. We aren't together I can sleep with whoever I want." he says calmly but stern.

"But…Valerie?" Kelly is shocked…embarrassed and beyond pissed off. "How long?"

"Kel…" Brandon begins.

"HOW LONG?" she cried loudly.

"Palm Springs…and a couple times after." he says quietly.

"Oh my god I can't believe this." Kelly looks to the floor, her tears are uncontrollable.

"I'm sorry Kel…we aren't together…it…just happened. I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to find out like this."

Kelly breaks down harder, "You didn't intend for me to find out at all. Who are you? Valerie Brandon…VALERIE! She is like a sister to you." She sobs disgusted.

Brandon's hands comes over his face frustrated as he slides them down it. Him and Valerie had just this morning talked about stopping this and now their secret was out.

"I don't even know who you are anymore." she sobs as she rushes to the door. The slam of it brought Brandon's attention to the the floor as he picks up Kelly's journal.

Kelly cries in her car as she drives. She knows Valerie is staying at the Beverly Hills hotel. Without even thinking she starts the drive there but as she passes the long driveway of the McKay residence, gate open she notices the same grey BMW parked in their driveway. Suddenly without thinking, she is pulling in.

 _EEEK…Ok so Brandon and Valerie have been doing it. Kelly knows and now Brandon is in possession of the journal. I know everyone feels bad for Kelly but she isn't innocent and she isn't suppose to be. I want to know what everyone is thinking? What they are feeling? Dylan has his own insecurities about his life now doesn't he? They were hot though. This chapter was not suppose to be this way. It had intended to be an outtake or an added chapter of the past but whatever it turned into this. Please review. I have never read so many conflicting opinions LOL it's amazing! I love all your reviews and I thank you all for taking the time out to send them!_


	27. Chapter 27

**_Chapter 27_**

 ** _Comforting and Catfights_**

Brenda set a mimosa on the kitchen counter, "Ok I got what you asked for, alcohol before 9 am…spill…what's going on?"

Valerie groaned about to tell her about her morning, "Wait…where's Dylan?" She looked around.

Brenda blushed bright red making Valerie eyebrows raise, "Why are you blushing?" Valerie laughed out loud. "What happened?" Valerie smiled.

Brenda sipped her coffee and shrugged, "Nothing…he's playing basketball with the guys" she answered nonchalantly.

"Liar…look at you." Valerie laughed out loud, "Let me guess…did Brenda get good morning sex today?" Valerie joked.

Brenda face grew a shade pinker, "Oh my god! You are redder than that friggin apple. Tell me." Valerie leaned in. "Good sex huh?"

Brenda pursed her lips together looking towards the front door before meeting Valerie's eyes, "Good sex…no…mind altering phenomenal earth shattering multiple orgasms leaving me a quivering mush sex…yes."

"Shut up!" Valerie hand came down on the counter with a slap as Brenda giggled. "Tell me everything." Valerie grabbed her mimosa and took a sip waiting for details.

"No…man…that's all you get." Brenda took a sip of coffee and made a face, then her eyes met Valerie's mimosa, "fuck it." she went over opening the cupboard, grabbing another flute and poured herself a glass of the Dom Perignon she had opened for Valerie. Brenda held her glass to Valerie.

"To us and great sex this morning." Valerie smiled wide.

Brenda smiled and clinked her glass to hers. She lifted her glass but stopped, "Wait…you too…with who? Please don't tell me." she set down her glass.

"Well that's why I came by…so I slept over Brandon's last night."

"Uhhhh." Brenda grunts disgusted, "Valerie." she whines. "I do NOT want to hear about sex with my brother. Which by the way should stop." Brenda eyed her.

"No…I know. Brandon and I discussed that we were clearly using each other and agreed it wasn't going to happen again."

"Thank god." Brenda threw back her champagne and rolled her eyes.

"But…that's not what I came to tell you. Someone saw me there." Valerie took a deep breath.

Brenda's eyes widened, "Not the kids." she whispered horrified.

Valerie shook her head, "No…not the kids…thank god!" Valerie was quiet for a moment, Brenda waiting in anticipation, "Kelly."

Brenda's eyes widened again, she grabbed the bottle of champagne refilling both their glasses, "Oh my god." she whispered. She sipped her champagne nervously, "Oh my god…what happened?"

"She came to talk to Brandon…she was going on and on about not loving Dylan and Dylan being second choice not him, the journal…who fucking knows but I walked out into the living room not knowing who it was at first, and not thinking about the time of morning it was and she saw me. She cried and freaked out and I left. So I'm not sure if she killed your brother." Valerie sipped her drink.

Brenda opened her mouth to scold her long time friend, then there was pounding on her front door. "What the hell?" both ladies looked towards the front door. Brenda walked over to it and opened it as the knocking became annoying.

Kelly pushed her way in, "Where is that home wrecking slut? I know she is here. Come out bitch…you want to go…let's go!" Brenda got in front of Kelly holding her back gently. "Come on Val…this is twenty years in the making." Kelly yelled loudly, pushing Brenda's hands away.

"Calm down." Brenda held up her hands.

"No." Kelly pointed at Brenda, "You…don't even talk to me." she pushed past her. Brenda's eyes widened, _what the fuck did I do?_ _This wasn't good, where the hell is Dylan,_ she thought as Kelly began looking around frantically.

"You're calling me a home wrecker…a slut? Kelly please stop the good girl act." Valerie was not afraid as she stood in the doorway from the kitchen, hands on her hips. "You are 10,000 times more slutty than me and everyone knows it."

Kelly pointed at her, "You slept with my husband."

"So what? You slept with everyone." Valerie took a step towards her. "Just because you pretend you are perfect doesn't mean you are Kelly."

Kelly was breathing hard, "He's my husband Valerie!" Kelly's lip quivered, "This isn't college…this is my life!" Kelly screamed.

"There is nothing going on with me and Brandon…I mean not really." Valerie crossed her arms and held her tough girl front. "It was only sex…you guys aren't even together." she tried to justify.

Brenda took a deep breath knowing that wasn't a good excuse as she stood back and watched the drama.

"Valerie…you have always wanted to come between Brandon and me…you told him not to marry me the first time, for god sakes. I don't even know why I'm so surprised! This is what you do. You love to hurt people…you've always hated me. I've just been a fool to think this whole thing was behind us. You'll never change…once a bitch always a bitch Valerie…you're jealous…you're jealous that Brandon loved me, jealous he and I have children together…you're pathetic and alone…and someday when you're old and grey you'll die that way!" Kelly yelled proud to get everything off her chest.

Brenda swallowed hard, that was Valerie's vulnerable place. Her greatest fear.

Valerie laughed not giving her the satisfaction even though her words stung deeply, "I'm pathetic and alone Kelly? What do you have besides kids that take after Brandon…not you! Brandon couldn't stay away from me. He is the one that called me after Palm Springs…he's the one that told me how amazing I was and how good it was." She stepped forward. "I'm sorry you came over this morning and saw me there, Brandon and I will always be just friends, we got carried away and it's done…I'm sorry you found out that way." She said faking sincerity. "It must have hurt a lot knowing that Brandon didn't skip out on me in the morning. I mean ouch! Ghosted…by your own husband."

Brenda shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. _Shit. Ok she got her back._

Kelly took two heaving breaths and charged her. She tackled her as they both fell to the floor. Wailing around like a soap opera.

"Jesus…christ." Brenda said out loud as she tried to intercept. "Ok…ok…" she was getting no where. As Valerie brought her hand back and slapped Kelly on the side go the head.

"Bitch!" Kelly yelled as she grabbed her hair yanking it hard and she tried to punch her, close fisted missing her entirely.

"Oh bring it Kelly… I should have kicked your ass a long time ago." Valerie egged her on. "You know what else? I should have fucked Brandon a long time ago too."

Kelly screamed pissed off as she finally connected with Valerie's face.

Brenda tried to pull back both girls by their arms. They were too wild…too strong…too pissed off.

"My god." Brenda screamed as she fell getting tangled in their fight, finding herself on the floor trying to break the women up out of breath, "Both you assholes hit me in the face I will kick both your asses." She grabbed Kelly with both arms.

"You! You hit me already Brenda. For no reason." Kelly pulled back hitting Valerie in the arm like a 5 year old hits their brother.

"Mother fucker…Owe." Valerie yelled smacking her back.

"You deserved it." Brenda yelled taking an accident elbow to the rib. "Fuck…Kelly that hurt." Brenda pushed her. "I should have slapped you years ago…the first time you hooked up with Dylan." Kelly pushed Brenda back.

"We're even!" Kelly screamed, "He cheated on me with you at the wedding." Arms flailed everywhere. None of the girls knew who was hitting who at this point. "Valerie screwed my husband…and she screwed yours too." Kelly grabbed Valerie's hair again, Valerie screamed. Brenda grunted annoyed at the comment and playfully smacked Kelly in the shoulder, "Let go."

Valerie kicked at her and hit Kelly in the boob with her Jimmy Choo black peep toe wedges. "BITCH!" Kelly let go of her hair and grabbed her breast hurt. Valerie took the chance and jumped on her, as Brenda tried to break them up again.

Brenda's head went back as she took a accidental elbow in the eye, "THAT'S IT! Now I'm kicking ass." She swung at both girls, now there was a three-way fight.

Dylan laughed with the guys as he threw the basketball towards Brandon, "Let me just get my wallet and we'll meet Steve at the court, it will take 2 minutes. Text him tell him we're on our way."

"You were the one that was late bro now you're making us more late." Brandon smiled and bounced the ball walking up the driveway from Dylan's car.

"Sorry…I was busy…with your sister." Dylan snickered as Brandon one handedly pushed him forward causing Dylan to laugh.

David smiled shaking his head, enjoying the brother in law banter. Which had carried on since they all met up. Things were still a little off with them.

Dylan smiled as he opened his front door, then his face fell. There in the foyer, Brenda, Kelly and Valerie were in a full fledge cat fight. It was like Melrose Place, Knots Landing…Dallas…some Aaron Spelling drama.

David, Dylan and Brandon stopped in their tracks, it was Dylan who came too first. "What the hell is going on?" He yelled loudly. All three guys moved quickly. Both of Dylan's arms wrapped around Brenda picking her up as she held Kelly's hair. Brandon wrapping his arms around Kelly, "Bren…let go." she did. David picked up Valerie kicking and screaming. All the guys held the girls around the waist as their legs flailed around.

"Calm down. Bren...calm down." Dylan spoke quietly, soothing. Brenda stopped flailing as he set her down and backed her towards the kitchen. Brenda already had what looked like a black eye appearing under her eye.

Brandon's face went into Kelly's neck as he held her against him, "Stop…deep breath." he tried to calm her.

David moved quickly turning Valerie around and held her against the wall, "Stop fighting me damn it." She pushed him just because it was him. He grabbed her wrists and eyed her.

Silence filled the house as the girls tried to catch their breaths. Dylan moved away from Brenda and walked towards the group, "What the fuck is going on?" he said loudly. He had never seen these women act like this in their whole lives, and he'd known them for practically that.

He eyed Kelly looking like she had a lot to say, she opened her mouth to speak as tears finally fell from her eyes, her finger came out at Valerie as she moved towards her, "She had sex with my husband." Brandon tried to pull her back as Kelly fought him off, "Let go of me! This is your fault." she screamed at him.

Brandon held her tighter against him, "Not until you calm down." he whispered in her ear sharply. Kelly stopped fighting.

David looked at Valerie, hurt crossed his features, "You slept with Brandon?" he whispered for only her to hear.

She rolled her eyes, "Where's Donna?" she whispered back, he shut up real quick.

Dylan ran his fingers through his hair and exhaled loudly. "Sit down ladies." no one moved. "NOW." he yelled causing all three girls to jump. They hadn't seen Dylan this pissed in a long time. Brenda shuffled to the couch, followed by Valerie…then Kelly.

"I'm not fucking sitting by her." Valerie glared down at Kelly, her lip bleeding.

Brenda rolled her eyes and moved to the middle as both girls sat down on either side of her. Kelly had a fat lip and her sweater was ripped. They looked up as all three men stood in front of them. "Alright this is crazy you are grown women…two of you have children for god sakes." Brandon paced. "What if the kids came home? What would you have told them? HUH?" he scolded them.

"What if the kids came home when you were sleeping with Valerie? Huh Brandon?" Kelly said venom in her voice. Brandon exhaled not saying anything.

Dylan looked at Brenda, he spoke calmly, "How are you involved with this?"

Brenda swallowed hard, she looked at Kelly then at Valerie, "I tried to break it up. Then someone elbowed me in the face and…I got pissed." Brenda looked down embarrassed.

"How did this even start?" David asked as he shook his head.

"Kelly came in here like a bat out of hell and started calling me a slut, she started it, she tackled me to the ground." Valerie sounded 12 and didn't care. She also knew she provoked the shit out of her. They had provoked the shit out of each other.

"Kelly." Brandon breathed, he looked in to her eyes, "I'm sorry. I…really truly am." Brandon was heartfelt, "but you can't go around getting into fights with people. We could have talked about this like adults. Not run around acting like a jealous teenager."

Kelly got up and stared at her husband, "Adults? Right…cause your acting like an adult? You go around sleeping with some yoga instructor 12 year old bimbo and bring her to my brother's party, flaunting her in front of me and all our friends and family…you sleep with me and leave before I even wake up like a friggin coward, and now your screwing your childhood friend…the girl who you always said was like family to you. The only adolescent around here is you Brandon. You're then one running from your problems and sticking your dick in anything that moves!"

Dylan looks around to everyone, he motions for David, Brenda and Valerie to leave them alone. Kelly and Brandon are silent as the 4 of them move towards the kitchen.

Brandon shakes his head and moves towards her, "Funny…I thought you liked men that ran away from their problems, emotional no shows…like Dylan. But I guess the jokes on you because he was only like that with you." Brandon stared at her. "Is that why you're acting like this…the new me reminding you of someone Kel." His voice cold like ice.

"Why are you trying to hurt me?" Kelly said softly. "I thought you loved me." a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Brandon exhaled loudly, "Don't you get it? You and Dylan…you made a fucking mess out of this shit. All because of lust…not love. Now I don't have to live with Dylan. My sister…if she is fine with everything that's great for her. But I don't have to live like this…I don't have to live with a woman that constantly treats you like the safe choice. Remember Kel…you like hanging from chandeliers, waiting for them to fall, its exciting for you, not knowing if he is going to call, or if he is going to talk to you the next day after you sleep together, if he is going to drop you for someone else at any time? Don't you remember? I helped you with all your problems by being supportive and caring and always being there and Dylan makes you forget about them. My memory is long Kelly…so don't you point the finger at me, I know I hurt you…but you have stomped on my heart off and on for years. Sorry if karma is finally catching up to you. You know…Brandon and I were best friends…but we didn't swing from chandeliers." Brandon stares at her, tears brim his eyes. He shakes his head at her silence and begins to move around her. "What the sex wasn't good Kelly? We weren't wild enough...I was too boring and straight for you?" Brandon showing his feeling hurt.

"I'm sorry Brandon…for the journals and for being a bitch about losing Dylan to Brenda. It hurt me but it doesn't change how I feel about you. Yes you were the supportive committed man in my life. Yes Dylan and I were alike. I thought maybe Dylan was what I deserved and then you came back into my life and I remembered why I fell in love with you. I finally realized that I deserved a man like you. Not an emotional no show like him…like my father. You can go around LA and screw as many whores as you want…it won't change my heart Brandon. It wont change how much I love you." Kelly wiped her face quickly. "I'm sorry I hurt you and after years of you taking care of me, complimenting me and being there for me…I know I deserve better than this too. Even if it's from you." Kelly shakes her head and walks towards the door.

Brandon looks down, thinking of everything she has said. He swallows hard and turns towards the kitchen to see his sister standing there. He knows all of them have probably heard everything but he doesn't care.

Brenda takes the steps closer to him, "You ok?"

Brandon nods, "No." he shrugs as Brenda lightly smiles at him as she embraces him.

"What am I doing?" he whispers into his sisters ear.

"I don't know…I don't know Bran…but this isn't you." they separate and look at each other. He chuckles as he looks at her black eye.

"Nice shiner." he shakes his head the reality of the morning crashing down.

Brenda rolls her eyes, "I know fucking bitches, I have a meeting with producers for a possible new show I may do."

Brandon laughs and moves his arm around her shoulders leading her back into the kitchen. He stops as Brenda moves into the kitchen next to Dylan, he hands her a bag of frozen peas for her eye. Valerie is already holding a bag to her lip. Brandon chuckles at her.

"Sorry Bran…I should have stayed in the bedroom…I didn't know it was her. I honestly didn't even think about it."

Brandon nodded, "I know Val…it's not your fault…it's mine, we shouldn't have gone there."

Valerie nods sadly as Brandon joins her on the stool next to her. "It was good though…right?" Valerie smiles and pushes her shoulder into his. Brenda and David make a disgusted grunt and Dylan chuckles. Brandon smiles and shakes his head. "No comment."

Valerie raises her arms in victory making the group laugh. "Calm down rocky…your lip is bleeding." David says with humor as he shakes his head.

Valerie growls, "Who would have thought? Kelly has a mean right hook." Valerie puts the bag over her lip again.

"I knew." Dylan says receiving a smack from Brenda. He laughs as he rubs his chest, "What? She's hit me before?"

"I'm sure you deserved it." She sighs and shakes her head.

"Oh I'know I did." he jokes, then Dylan face turns serious as he looks at Brandon. "I heard what you said in there about me. Bran…Kelly and I were a mess…you know that. Things that may be fun or cute when you're 18…19 even 20 years old…aren't when you are older. You realize what you want and she always deserved to be treated better than I ever could, she deserved someone like you. Even when her and I were together, she wanted someone like you…and that's why it never worked because that's not what we had."

"Well…you don't treat my sister that way…and I'll admit…it's what made me okay with the two of you reconnecting. You were always a different person with Bren…Kelly knew that too, probably why it drove her crazy." Brandon looks down sadly.

Dylan looks down, "Bran." he breathes before they make eye contact again, "It's about supporting yeah other not only swinging from chandeliers which is friggin stupid, people need stability in their relationships." he wraps his arm around Brenda's waist and kisses her temple softly. "It's easy to be that guy with Bren, it always has been…17 years and we support each other and swing from chandeliers, it's possible to be both. I make your sister happy, who knows why or how, we just work, like you and Kelly worked." Dylan says honestly.

"I know why." Valerie speaks up as she sips her found mimosa, "Because of that mind altering phenomenal earth shattering multiple orgasm leaving her a quivering mush morning sex." Valerie smiles at Brenda's mortified expression.

Dylan slowly looks at Valerie…then at Brenda as she turns beat red. "You told her about this morning?" he is shocked. "Is anything sacred?"

"Not when you forget your name and can't feel your legs." Valerie concludes. David chuckles and shakes his head as she winks at him. David blushes furiously and smirks.

"I don't even want to know." Brandon shakes his head, "Wait…that's why your were late, you were telling the truth?"

Dylan blushes and Brenda and Dylan hug hiding their faces in each others necks.

"Oh shit." Brandon's eyes widened, "Damn it…STEVE!" he pulls his phone out of his pocket realizing he is probably waiting at the courts for the guys.

David, Valerie, Brenda and Dylan have a good laugh while Brandon sucks up to Steve. What a crazy morning.

The day had gone by mellow and uneventful after that morning as Brenda set the table for dinner. Everyone had long gone home and after explaining to the kids how "Brenda hit her face in the garage on accident" giving her the black eye, everything stayed calm…too calm.

Brenda set the bread basket on the table as she looked around the table.

"Where's By?" she said noticing he was missing.

Eliot gave her mother a sad smile, "He said he isn't hungry."

"That's not like Byron at all." Brenda looks towards the direction of the stairs.

"Him and Emma…are having some problems." Dylan speaks up as he forks some roast onto his plate.

"Start without us…I'll be right back." Dylan nods and Eliot and Aidan watch Brenda leave.

Brenda climbs the steps and gently knocks on Byron's bedroom door, "Can I come in sweetie…it's mom."

"Yeah." he calls out.

Brenda opens his door, there she sees her son laying in his bed, as the soft sounds of music surround them. He is listening to A Great Big World…Say Something…I'm giving up on you and Brenda's hand goes to her heart. She takes a deep breath and walks over laying on the opposite side of Byron's bed. "What's going on with you and Emma?" she asks knowingly as her head turns towards him.

"I don't know…I can't reach her. She won't talk to me and for once in our relationship…I don't know how to make it better. I guess if she doesn't want to tell me…I just have to give up, maybe she isn't worth all this." he turned to face his mom, his eyes glassy and sad.

Brenda reaches out and gently moves his hair out of his eyes, "Love is not running away or giving up, its about standing and fighting for every moment. There is a great quote that I have always hung on too. It says, never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about." Brenda hand rests on his cheek lovingly. "Emma loves you. She'll come around. Maybe she isn't ready to open up but just be there…support her…love her…show her that she is the most important girl in your life. Besides me and your sister of course." Brenda smiles and Byron chuckles quietly. "First love is so hard. It's new and exciting and intense. Sometimes…first love is everything all at once. The kind you never fall back from. Never try to. Never want to. A love so big. So strong. It never dies. Never fades. Never losses its electricity. The kind of love you fight for. The kind of girl you fight for. Emma is one of the girls By."

"Is that dad for you?" Byron asks seriously.

Brenda smiles, "Of course…me and your dad have been through so much together. All the fights, break ups, and the times we both gave up…even if it was just for a little while…were all worth fighting for. He was more worth it than anything in my whole life."

Brenda leans forward and gently kisses her sons forehead. "Reach out to her baby…and when your ready there is dinner downstairs." She leans in and kisses his cheek over and over, "Ah…you're so handsome." Byron scrunches his nose and moves away from his mom embarrassing him.

"Mom…stop." he laughs. Brenda laughs too getting up. "Mom." Brenda turns around in the doorway.

"I love you." Brenda smiled and gives him a single nod.

"I love you too…my sweet handsome boy."

Byron's smile grows and he playfully rolls his eyes. His mother leaves and he picks up his phone. He hits Emma in his contacts and brings the phone to his ear. It goes to voicemail so Byron texts her.

 _You don't have to tell me but just know I'm always here for you. I love you Emma…I know you're worth fighting for and I'm not giving up on us_

Byron sets down his phone and goes down to dinner. Conversation flows normally around the table when the front gate buzzes. Brenda looks at Dylan with a shrug and gets up to answer it. She presses the button, "Hello."

"Hey Bren…is Byron home?" Emma sounds like she is tearful.

"Yeah sweetie. Come on up." Brenda presses to open the gate. Byron stands up as Brenda turns around. She gives him a small smile as he nervously looks towards the door. He stays silent not knowing what this visit could mean. Emma knocks gently.

"Go on." Brenda motions with her head for him to answer it.

Byron rushes over to it and opens it wide. Emma is crying, puffy and red like she's been at it for hours. "Hey…what's wrong?" Byron takes her into his arms. He kisses her head lightly and holds her as she breaks down.

"Can we talk upstairs?" she whispers.

"Of course. come on." Byron grabs her hands as they walk up the stairs. When they reach his room, he closes the door behind them. He pulls her towards his bed as they sit, facing each other.

"I'm sorry I've been so weird. Just going through something that is hard to tell you and I'm scared you'll hate me." Emma breaks down.

Byron's hands on her face then, "I could never hate you Em…I love you…whatever it is just tell me so we can deal with it."

"I've been pushing you away because…" Byron's hand comes over hers supportively, "I'm late."

Byron smiles a little, "Late for what?"

"No…my period…it's late." The color drains from Byron's face. He breaths out and stares into her eyes.

"How late?" he whispers.

"2 weeks." Byron's hand comes over his mouth as he sucks in a breath. Emma is crying harder as he looks at her.

"Come here." he collects her in a warm embrace. "Shh…it's ok…maybe it's a false alarm." he says calm trying to be a supportive boyfriend when his mind freaking out. He closes his eyes and exhales softly. "Did you take a test?"

"No…I'm too afraid." she breaks down.

Byron takes her hand, "Come on…we'll go get one."

"Here? You want me to take a pregnancy test here?" She hushes out.

"You got any better suggestions? Better here than your house, we aren't even allowed upstairs at your house." Byron groans, "My god…your parents are going to kill me." His hand covers his face. "Come on, there is only one way for piece of mind."

Emma holds his hand tightly, "What are we going to tell your parents?"

Byron thinks for a seond, "We tell them were going for a drive to talk."

"Ok." Emma bites her lip terrified. "You said we did everything right."

"Babe…we did." Byron leans in and pecks her lips softly. "This isn't your problem to deal with alone. I'm here to help you and support you. Let's go." Byron holds Emma's hands tightly as they walk down the stairs. They go into the kitchen, the whole table looking up at them.

"Hey Emma…you hungry sweet heart?" Brenda then notice the redness in her eyes, the look of crying on her face. Every girl knows that look.

"No…no thank you." Emma shakes her head.

"We'll be back." Byron says nervously.

"Where are you guys going?" Dylan asks with a timid smile, he sees the nervousness from both teens from a mile away.

"We're just going for a drive. To talk." Byron says naturally.

"Alright. Be careful." Dylan says with a smile and Brenda smiles too.

The two teens leave quickly and as the door shuts close. Eliot and Aidan get up to clear their dishes. "We're gonna watch a movie." Eliot announces and her and Aidan go into the den.

Brenda looks at Dylan, "Do you think Emma and Byron were okay?"

Dylan shrugs, "Who knows…maybe they wanted to be alone." he wiggles his eyebrows.

Brenda laughs, "You're terrible."

Dylan chuckles, "I'm sure they wanted to talk and make up. You know how it is." He gets up and helps Brenda clear the dishes.

She thinks as she gently rinses them, feeling gentle kisses down her neck from Dylan as he stands close behind her. "What are you thinking about baby?" he whispers knowing Brenda's mind is working a mile a minute.

"There was something about Emma's expression." Brenda said out loud. There was something gnawing at her insides. Something was wrong…something was very wrong with Emma and Byron.

"You know how it is…she just looked like she had been crying to me." Dylan moves to her side and rests his hip against the counter. "Why what do you think it is?"

Brenda shakes her head and turns off the water, "I don't know…she looked terrified." Brenda looked down thinking, "You don't think…nah." Brenda shook her head.

"Think what?" Dylan was clueless as Brenda's mind worked.

"Nothing…I'm sure you're right. Young love right…everything always seems like the end of the world." She smiles at him and reaches on her tip toes touching her lips with his. He deepens the kiss mixing his tongue hungrily with hers.

 _EEK…so some of you guessed what Emma's issue was. Scandalous. So the threesome fight was suppose to be more comedic then anything. I could kind of picture it, the three girls rolling around and falling all over. Being older and not being in a girl fight EVER. Hope it came out that way. So lots of stuff. What are you guys thinking about Brandon and Kelly, Brenda and Dylan, a threw in a little jealous and flirts with Val and David for those DV fans. He isn't going to leave donna though. Not in this fic, if you love David and Val like I do…but I also love Donna and David too but read long time coming if thats what you want to see. Their end game in that one. So tell me everything and thank you for the lovely reviews. So everyone still feeling sorry for Kelly? Surprised brandon knew what Kelly said about him to Dylan? Not sure how many of you watched the end of the series. I know 9 and 10 sucks ass but at the end of 8 and early 9 Kelly is heartbroken over her calling off the BK wedding. She wants him back but Brandon keeps putting it off like no. Then season 9 starts and Kelly is doing better. She is opening her store with Donna and brandon is missing Kelly, he doesn't want to take the job in DC because he doesn't want to leave. He misses her and hates she is moving on without him. Brandon does leave and never returns but 2 episodes later Dylan comes back and asks about what happened with Brandon. She tells him, Me and brandon were best friends, but we didn't swing from chandeliers. So Dylan asks with that sexy smirk that you want to smack or screw both sometimes, are you saying I came in between you two that you missed what we had? Kelly says no what we had was missing from what I had with brandon. I'm sorry but for a woman who was crying her eyes out and pining over Brandon…then two episodes later she is saying that. When she was the one that regretted not marrying brandon. WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK? Of course brandon is going to take THAT personal. Who wouldn't? Anyway don't worry about them…their winding down but not before kelly tries to move on a little with Ryan…wink wink. You have to remember too, Brenda knows everything that has ever happened practically in Dylan's life. hearing any of this is NOT going to matter because she knows from reading the book. She may get jealous or piss and rant once in a while but Dylan has paid his price or at least had to prove to her he was serious. Why do you think they waited 2 years to get married. So Dylan didn't get off scott free, he just worked it out with her a long time ago. Something that Kelly and brandon probably should have too. Anyway hit review my beautiful people. I cant wait to read your thoughts._


	28. Chapter 28

_**Chapter 28**_

 _ **Knocked Up**_

Dylan reaches for Brenda, feeling her spot empty. He slowly opens his eyes. He sits up and stretches noticing Brenda is gone. He looks at the alarm clock with a yawn, 7:45am. He stretches again and pulls himself out of bed, intent on heading to the kitchen for coffee. The house is quiet, knowing the kids have left for school already. The coffee's made and next to the pot is a note from Brenda.

 _Hey honey, hope you slept well. I had to see my agent. I was in a rush this morning, I emptied the trash cans but can you bring it to the bin and set it out? Trash usually comes at 8. Thanks my love, I shouldn't be long._

 _Love you,_

 _Bren_

Dylan playfully rolls his eyes, he knew when the trash came. This was his main job around the house but he chuckles knowing if she didn't remind him he would have forgotten. Dylan looks at the time and grabs the trash bags that were lined up by the front door. He picks up the first one and to his dismay, it breaks as trash fills the foyer.

"Shit." he whispers, he doesn't have time for this. He makes a face kneeling down grabbing the trash from the floor. Thankful this wasn't kitchen trash, no food in sight. He reaches grabbing a plastic CVS bag. He could see through it, seeing the words pregnancy test written across it. He reaches in, the box open, taking out the capped used pregnancy test he brings it up reading it. The lines were light, but it was positive. A smile spread across his face, Brenda was pregnant? Why hadn't she said anything? Why hadn't she told him she thought she was? Dylan would have wanted to be with her for this. He set aside the box and stick and shoves the rest of the trash away. He takes out the garbage as planned and lines the city trash bins by the curb just in time as he sees the trash truck down the street.

As Dylan drinks his coffee, he sits at the kitchen table, staring at the box. He knew Brenda was serious in not wanting to expand their family. Brenda had never been one to say one thing and mean another. He could always depend on Brenda to be honest even brutally so and that was one thing he loved about her. Brenda and Dylan practiced the pull and pray method. She didn't like the way birth control effected her body and she had gotten used to knowing her body and cycles. If it was the time of the month that was safe for a non pull out night, Dylan didn't. It wasn't full proof but it had worked for 17 years shockingly, Dylan couldn't believe that he had lucked out…again. Many people that hook up so to speak and get pregnant by someone from the past or someone that they are not in a relationship with, may have thought of that as a big mistake. Honestly both Brenda and Dylan thought the twins were a blessing, an act of fate. To bring them together once and for all. It seemed as though Dylan got his wish. Brenda was pregnant and he was ecstatic. As he moved towards his bedroom to get ready for the day, the thought that made him smile widely was…his swimmers still worked like a charm! He had never been more happy to knock up a woman in his life…twice!

Dylan holds the punching bag as Byron punches the crap out of it. Byron bounces to the right leg, to the left leg hitting it over and over again.

"Easy…I'm an old man." Dylan jokes as he holds on to the bag tightly. "My turn." he gently shoves the bag towards his son and takes a few punches to it. "Something bothering you son?" he eyes him, this was something Byron and Dylan did often. They had a full weight room, a gym in their home. Dylan kept himself in shape and he remembers teaching his son how to throw a punch in this exact room. The girls have mirrors lined up on the opposite wall, with a treadmill and Brenda's pilates equipment.

"Just kind of amped up." Byron says. Dylan swings a left hook but his eyes don't leave Byron's. He's lying.

"Everything work out with Emma?"

His face drains, he tries act like nothing is the matter, "Uh…Yeah…everything is better." Not even Byron believes it. He holds the bag, his mind wandering back to the night before.

 _Byron knocks quietly, "Em…are you almost done?" he hears the toilet flush and water from the sink run. Emma opens the door and looks at him. Her expression nervous and scared. He moves in and hugs her tightly. "It will be okay…we'll figure it out."_

 _She nods against his head but even she has a hard time believing it. If this test says what she fears, her and Byron have major decisions to make. Byron lets her go and pulls her into his private bathroom deeper. His parents he knows are watching a movie with Aidan and Eliot. He hopes they don't come and investigate his closed bedroom door. He knows his parents well enough that even if they were thinking that that closed door symbolized him and Emma "making up" they would yell at him later and not barge in. For that he is thankful for._

" _How long do we have to wait?" Byron stands next to Emma at the vanity. Both looking down at the little stick that holds their future._

" _5 minutes." Emma says softly._

 _Byron breathes out. He loves Emma, he knows whether himself and Emma ended up as end game, he would always love her. The timing was terrible, they had senior year, college ahead of them but as of now, he wanted to marry her someday. He looked over at Emma. He turned knowing they still had some time. He rested his butt against the counter. He reached out, his arms coming around her waist as he pulled her to him._

" _Whatever it says…we'll figure it out together. You're not alone in this…Emma I love you and I'll support you in any way I can."_

 _Tears flow down Emma's pretty young face. She is only 17 years old, just turned it as a matter of fact. She knows already Byron will support her. "If…it's positive…what are you thinking?" She asks Byron. She knows that he has thought about it. Would he want to keep it? Get an abortion?_

 _He exhales, "I don't know babe…I haven't a clue. What about you?"_

 _Emma leans her forehead against his and they close their eyes, "I don't know." she whispers._

 _She really doesn't know. She isn't one that believes in abortion but isn't pro-life either. Her mother Donna…is catholic but they aren't practicing…go to church every Sunday kind of people. But she he knows her mom believes in god. Her father David, is jewish. He isn't practicing either. They celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. Both parents even though are well off financially, are both democrats. She knows her mother and father are both pro-choice, BUT she also is well aware Donna, may say it's a woman's choice but her herself probably wouldn't go there._

 _Emma kisses him softly, her tears wetting Byron's face. "I think it's time." She says quietly._

 _He nods, giving her a sad smile as they turn around. Byron waits to see if she'll pick it up. When he notices her frozen in her spot, he reaches for it. His heart drops into his stomach. It's positive._

" _Oh my god." he whispers. After being frozen, his eyes staring down at the faint but two clear lines staring back at him. He hears a unrecognizable sob from his pregnant girlfriend knowing he isn't just seeing things either._

"Earth to Byron." Dylan stops and looks at his son. Byron shakes his head coming out of his daze.

"Wh…what?" he has no idea what his father has asked him.

Dylan smiles, "Are you okay?"

Byron looks at Dylan. Tears fill his eyes and he wants to tell him. He wants comfort, support and advice. He would even welcome his father yelling at him at this point. Anything would be better than the feeling he has. He is also well aware both Emma and himself made a deal that they wouldn't mention this to anyone until the doctor confirmed the test and they decided what they were going to do.

Dylan sees the tears and steps closer to him, "By…you can tell me anything. Is it Emma?"

He shakes his head quickly, "I'm fine dad…I promise, just stuff on my mind." he forces a smile. Dylan watches him as he takes off his boxing gloves and walks out of the gym without another word.

Dylan's hand goes across his mouth and down his chin and neck as he rubs the facial hair on his face. Something is going on, Dylan doesn't know what it is…but it feels huge.

 _November 14, 1992_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _So Brandon and Emily are hot and heavy. Good for him. He deserves to be happy and he definitely needs to get laid. That guy hasn't gotten any since his crazy girlfriend from Minnesota was here. If Emily is the way she seems, he probably won't have to wait long. And I'm not saying she is easy because she doesn't seem that way either but they like each other. I'm happy for them._

 _So apparently Brenda is dragging me to some underground club tonight. It actually sounds pretty cool but you know me when it comes to the social scene. The truth is I would never let her go by herself to one of those places. I have heard about them. They change location every week because cops like to bust them up. Sure people go there for the dancing and the club vibe but…some people also go for the drugs. And that's all drugs. I'm not talking about sitting in a circle smoking a joint, I'm talking about…crank, coke, crack, heroine, ecstasy or U4EA as some call it. The big guns. Brenda is so adamant about going somewhere different. The whole group seems to be excited about it. Steve is excited about the "babe fest", Andrea hopes to do a story for The Blaze about it naturally, Kelly, Brenda, Donna and David just want to dance and check out the scene, Emily is the one that told everyone about it, so now I'm wondering what she used to be into up in San Fransisco, and Brandon is so crazy about her, I think he would go anywhere she is. I just hope this group knows what they are walking into. I've been around, I've seen some fucked up things in my short teen life but them…no way. They are the definition of sheltered and my Brenda…is at the top of the list of innocence. We may make out like crazy, have sex like bunnies, but I know Brenda has never been around hard drugs and tonight…I'm thinking that will change. We're meeting at the pit at 10:30. Like I said, Am I into it…not really but Brenda isn't going near one of these clubs without me. So I'll put on a smile and make sure she doesn't leave my side. And meet up with everyone to exchange an egg. Who knows? Maybe it will even be kind of fun. Just because there are drugs everywhere…doesn't mean we have to do them. On the bright note, Brenda's curfew is extended until 1:30 and I'm looking forward to being with her. We'll dance, we'll kiss, it will be a good time._

 _Dylan_

 _November 15, 1992_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Okay…it was NOT fun. Well actually in the beginning it wasn't so bad. We all showed up, Brenda by my side where she belongs, everyone raring to go. I did let Brenda know, I warned her what she might see in there. I told her Emily wasn't completely honest about the club. That sure people come for the music and the dancing…but I told her about the drugs. Brenda…my sweet gorgeous Brenda was concerned about me. My addiction, being around drugs. I told her I was fine because it was the truth. We met up at the peach pit at 10:30, Andrea and Steve never showed so we left but Brandon made sure to give them the address of the place they needed to exchange an egg. You exchange the egg, you pay 10 bucks and they give you the secret location of the club. Weird I know but intriguing. We show up. It's in a shit neighborhood downtown. I bet none of my friends have ever been down that way before. The music is happening and there is some serious weirdos and a great time to people watch. I keep Brenda by my side. She takes in her surroundings quietly. I can't blame her because I feel like I'm doing the same thing. First off, I'm a little pissed off at David. But I don't say anything, when we went to exchange the egg he bought a 5th of Jack. Now drugs…not an issue, drinking…well that was an issue for me. Especially because I'e been doing well but it's only been a month in half of being sober for me. He's talking about the place being trippy and I find myself being rude to him. Look my goal is to protect Brenda, to keep her safe but I don't want to have to worry about David Silver and his naive mind…doing something he will regret like Acid or some shit._

 _Brenda is not fond of Emily. Once we leave David to his bottle of jack. She opens up to me. She knows Emily is Brandon's girlfriend and she wants him to be happy…but she doesn't trust her. She rubs her the wrong way. I try to lighten the mood by telling her, she rubs someone the right way…meaning Brandon. I know Brenda cares about her brother deeply and at the time I didn't know how dangerous Emily could be. I tried to make her smile. We made out in a dark corner and she let me feel her up. I mean the place was dark and nobody was too concerned with what we were doing. It seemed to help and when Brenda finally pushed me off with a laugh as I went to push myself against her as she stood against the wall. My bulge in my pants grinding against her, she knew it was not the time or place for this to go further. We found Brandon and Emily and we soaked up the atmosphere. We laughed about people's clothes and I kept an easy eye on David Silver. He was half way through that whiskey and I had a feeling he hadn't drank much before. He seemed to be ok at that moment in time, dancing with Donna having fun so I let it be._

 _Brandon made a comment to Brenda about one of the guys with a 4 on his shirt. The man was a drug dealer and I saw Brenda's eyes widen. Emily excused herself and I kissed Brenda again making her forget about the scene that was going on around us. She seemed bothered, not that I blamed her. We danced, had fun and nobody noticed Emily's visit with Mr. number 4._

 _As the night went on it took a turn south quickly. We see Brandon and Emily, making out heavily, they were in their own little world. He wasn't himself but then again, he had a girl on his arm, something I hadn't seen much of from Brandon in the time I had met him. I waited for Brenda and Kelly to go to the bathroom when I noticed them again, Brandon was actually letting loose, dancing of all things. I thought at that moment…wow maybe Emily is good for him. The girls came back freaked out at what they seen on their trip to the restroom. They saw people smoking crack pipes and Brenda even stepped on a needle. They were horrified and wanted to leave. That's when I noticed Brandon and Emily were not making out in the dark corner anymore, they were no where. I refused to leave Brandon so I told the girls to wait outside while I tried to find him. I noticed David and Donna first. They were ready to leave too. But what I had been afraid of of our young David came true. He said the room was spinning and I helped him quickly just in time for him to barf everything in his stomach up. We did find Brandon though. He was laying on the hood of his mustang, practically dry humping Emily. I thought, get it Brandon, I wish I was dry humping Bren on the top of his mustang! Brenda was not amused. I helped poor David for a few minutes and laid him in the back seat of Kelly's BMW. He reeked of puke and Kelly was ready to kill him. Finally we went over to gather up Brandon but it became pretty obvious quickly that he was fucked up. Not drunk but on something. Brenda was horrified and I was too. I had never seen Brandon do anything of this nature. The one time he drank, he crashed his car and spent the night in jail. He got a DUI and had never touched the stuff again, even lost his license for a little while. This was not Brandon and Emily's influence seemed pretty strong. He was acting like an idiot and making comments he would never normally say. I gave him 40 bucks and took his keys. There was no way he was driving anywhere. Brenda didn't want to leave them but I told her the truth. She didn't get it, he didn't care. He didn't care about us, curfew or anything for that matter. He was higher than a kite, king of the mountain, he has a girl, everything is fine. Until today…when he woke up feeling like shit and remembered what an ass he was._

 _That brings me back to the present. I got a call from Brenda this morning really early. It was a little after 6 am. She said Brandon had just walked through the door and he was alright. Hungover…but alright. She told me Emily…slipped U4EA into his drink at the club. By the time he found out he was feeling no pain. Also she wanted to know if I would take Brandon to pick up his car at the warehouse so he could get to work on time. When Brandon and I pulled up to the deserted warehouse, his 1965 mustang was completely stripped of parts. Tires, rims, doors, bucket seats, radio…everything gone. The body left tagged in black spray paint. Poor Brandon learned a lesson last night more so than doing drugs. The girl he was in to, drugged him, that's the lowest and coldest craziest thing ever. I felt sorry for him to be honest. Brandon loved his car. He worked hard to buy it, all by himself and it was ruined. The girl he was falling in love with…betrayed him and his trust he had in her. I think this was the biggest hang over Brandon would ever experience in his life._

 _Dylan_

Eliot's eyes widened, _holy shit!_ When they said Emily was crazy…they weren't kidding. Eliot's attention went to the stairs as she sees her father climbing them holding a huge bouquet of flowers behind his back.

She smiled, "What did you do this time dad?" she called out. His head turned towards her bedroom and he chuckled. He walked and stopped in the doorway.

He shrugged, "Now why would you think I did something?" he smirked at her.

She raised one eye brow, "You're transparent daddy…and you only get flowers for mom on her birthday…your anniversary…valentines day…or on opening night of one of her plays. What's the occasion?" Eliot smiled, knowing that today was none of those dates.

Dylan mocked offense, "I just felt like it…is that so wrong?" Eliot rolled her eyes playfully.

"You did something and you also are making it very clear that we should stay very clear of your bedroom for the next two hours, if your apology goes in your favor." she stuck her tongue out at him. _Smart ass._

Dylan smirked, _Yeah hopefully, he thought,_ because at that moment, he wanted Brenda to know how excited he was about the baby news and he wanted to show her over and over how happy he was about it. Of course he kept that information to himself. Dylan winked at his daughter receiving a pretend gag as he approached their bedroom. Eliot continued reading, sex and her parents was not a big deal to her anymore. And apparently by that wink, it wasn't to her father either. At least so she thought.

Dylan opened his bedroom door, holding the flowers behind his back. Brenda sat on their bed, reading over the TV show script. Looking up as he came in, closing the door behind him. She smiled at him.

"Hey…baby…how was your day?" Brenda closed the script, resting it on the nightstand as she sat up. Dylan walked towards her sitting down on the edge of the bed

"It was great. What about yours?"

Brenda shrugged, "It was okay." she looked at him now noticing he had one hand behind his back. He smiled and brought the huge bouquet around handing them to her.

"Oh…Dylan. They are beautiful." Brenda smelled them, she eyed her husband, "What did you do?"

Dylan laughed and shook his head, the women in this family didn't think that highly on romantic gestures. "Nothing…geez…can't a man just give his beautiful wife flowers?" he argued, humor in his tone.

Brenda smiled, "That depends on what he's keeping from her?" she joked and smelled the arrangement again. It truly was beautiful.

Dylan pursed his lips together with smile, "I think maybe I should be asking you the same question."

Brenda's head raised looking at him curiously. She stared at him, "What are you talking about Dylan?"

Dylan reached setting his hand on her flat stomach. He rubbed gently before leaning towards her. He kissed her softly making her lay back against the pillow. "Uh…Dylan?" he continued down her chest to her abdomen area, lifting her t-shirt and placing gently kisses across it.

"It's ok Bren…I know…and I'm so god damn happy about it." He trailed kisses back up her body. Brenda laying there confusion across her face. She had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

"Dylan…baby?" he kisses her longer this time. Brenda's eyes open wide. He broke the kiss, kissing down her neck, "I have no fucking clue what your talking about." She closed her eyes and breathed out. Him hitting her favorite spot to be kissed.

"I saw the test." He continued kissing along her collar bone, his tongue sending chills down her body.

"What test?" Brenda's eyes were closed, she didn't have a clue what this was about, but god damn that felt good.

He raised his face to look at hers, he smirked, "The pregnancy test. Baby…I'm so happy." He leans in and kisses her deeply. Brenda not kissing back…frozen…shocked. The words hitting her quickly she pushes at him, and moves from under him standing up.

"You think I'm pregnant?" her voice raised, confusion in overdrive. Her hands come to her flat stomach, she turns to the side, "Do I look pregnant?" worry in her tone. Was she getting fat?

Dylan chuckled laying on his side, his elbow propping him up, looking up at her. "Don't be ridiculous Bren…I saw the test."

"Dylan…I didn't take a pregnancy test…I'm not pregnant…I'm on my period as we speak."

Dylan got up quickly and stood in front of her, "You're not pregnant?"

Brenda looked up at him, she shook her head, "No."

Dylan exhaled, "I saw the test…it was positive. I just saw it this morning when I took the trash bins out." Dylan was beyond confused. Pretty freaking disappointed…but more confused as he looked at her.

"Well…I didn't take it." Silence reined over them as they stared at one another.

Brenda gasped loudly. Her hand coming to her heart. She looked towards the door. "Oh my god." tears filled her eyes, "Oh my god." she breathed, "Palm springs wasn't the first time they had sex since he moved in." realization hitting her like a mack truck. Palm Springs was too recent. He had to have knocked her up weeks ago. "Oh my god!" she repeated loudly. Looking back to her shocked frozen husband. Brenda tears fall from her eyes. Trying to grasp the fact that if she didn't take the pregnancy test, the only other woman in this house was Eliot.

Dylan's face was red, his fists clutching at his sides, the veins in Dylan's neck pulsing, his blood pressure through the roof. "I'll fucking kill him." he says quietly. Then before Brenda can stop him he is out of the bedroom.

Dylan rushes into Eliot's bedroom, Aidan there now. He grabs him by the his shirt roughly. Aidan physically frightened for his safety. Tears are in Dylan's eyes now as he stares into Aidan's.

"Daddy! Stop!" Eliot is on her feet. Brenda crying at the scene in front of her trying to make him let the boy go. Dylan finally lets him free. Regretting his initial reaction. His hand goes over his eyes as he squeezes them shut, "I'm sorry." he breaks down, his hand running down his face. "I'm sorry." his voice breaks.

"Sir…I don't know what I did…I…dont understand." Aidan is scared shitless and he tripping over his words. He has never been more confused or afraid in his life.

"HOW COULD YOU TWO BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE!? YOU HAD YOUR WHOLE LIVES AHEAD OF YOU!" Dylan yells loudly. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?"

"DADDY! What did we do?" Eliot is bawling, she doesn't understand what provoked Dylan to almost kill her boyfriend.

Brenda takes Dylan's hand in hers. Calming him. She doesn't even know what to say. Shocked speechless.

"I can't even look at you." Dylan breaks down. "I have never been more disappointed in one of my kids."

Silence fills the room. "I don't understand." cries Eilot. "I was just reading and Aidan came in to ask if I wanted to go a movie. Mom…dad I don't know what this is."

Brenda looks at her daughter, "Your dad found the test El…we know. We know your pregnant."

Aidan looks at Eliot, his eyes widened, "You're pregnant?" he whispers. His hand coming over his mouth as he tries to calm his breaths. Brenda and Dylan look at each other guilty, realizing maybe she hasn't told him yet.

"What is going on?" Byron is at the doorway. He heard his father yelling from downstairs.

"Why didn't you tell me Eliot?" Aidan moved towards her and takes her into his arms. He closes his eyes as he hugs her, tears threatening to fall.

Eliot pushes Aidan away and looks at him, "I'm not pregnant," she says confused, she looks at her parents, "I'm…not…pregnant." she repeats. "I just finished my period."

Byron swallows hard. He realizes the promise that he made to Emma, was about to be broken.

"I don't understand…I saw the test…it was right there in the bathroom trash." Dylan looks at Brenda then back at Eliot. Dylan was not imagining this.

"You're not pregnant?" Brenda asks confusion written on everyone's face but Byron's.

"No! I swear…I'm on the pill…I just had a cycle…no!" she says frantically.

"I don't understand…there are two woman in this house…and neither of you are pregnant?" Dylan is in shock. Was he dreaming? No that can't be it.

"She isn't pregnant dad." Byron walks into Eliot's room, tears in his eyes, "Emma is."

Brenda's hand comes to her mouth. "Oh Byron." she whispers, it's still bad. Did she think that it would be less of a blow…no…it wasn't.

"Emma?" Dylan shakes his head, "Jesus…BYRON! Did you use protection? I told you to always use protection damn it! What the hell are you guys going to do? Does Donna and David know?"

Brenda groans the realization hitting her and the conflict they might find themselves in with their best friends, "My god By." Brenda shakes her head disappointed. "Donna and David." She whispers.

"We did use protection! We were careful! I don't know how this happened!" Byron yells nervously.

Silence fills the bedroom. Dylan looks at Aidan, "I'm so sorry." he breathes.

Aidan quickly shakes his head, "It's okay." everything that just happened in the last few minutes was overwhelming.

Dylan's hand come out and grasps Aidan's shoulder, "No son…it's not. I'm really sorry for the way I reacted. This is all such a shock. Eliot…Aidan why don't you go downstairs give me and Bren a second to talk to Byron."

Eliot nods in shock herself. Emma her best friend is pregnant, she honestly didn't see this one coming. She walks to her doorway and looks at her brother, tears in his eyes. She hugs him tightly. "I love you." she whispers for him to hear. "It will be okay." he nods against her head and breathes out. She passes him, Aidan and Byron lock eyes. I mutual support and friendship that doesn't need words. Soon it's just Brenda, Dylan and Byron in Eliot's room. Silence deafening almost stifling.

Brenda swallows, "What is she going to do?" Dylan who is standing in silence looks at his son, knowing what Brenda is asking.

Byron takes a deep breath and walks over sitting on Eliot's bed.

"She doesn't know. She set up an appointment with a doctor to confirm…but can't get in until next week. We don't know what we're going to do." he looks down. "I'm trying to be supportive but…I'm freaking out." he breaks down, his hands come to his face. Brenda heart breaks. She moves towards him and he crumbles in her arms. "This wasn't the plan…I love Emma but I know I'm not ready for this."

"I know sweetie. I know."

"Byron…I know what your going through." Byron looks at him surprised.

"You do?" Dylan nods. He takes Eliot's desk chair and moves it closer so he is in reach of him. He sits and leans towards them, "Your mom and I had a scare like this back in high school."

Byron looks at his mom with wide eyes, "Did you…did you have an abortion?" he asks honestly.

Brenda shakes her head, "No…it was a false alarm…but we thought I was for a good week. It was enough to scare me. Byron…you have to be there for her…but you have to understand, as a women…it's her choice how she will handle this. You can tell her how you feel and its okay to feel one way over the other but ultimately it will be her decision, and you as the man, her boyfriend have to respect whatever it may be. Where is Emma now?" Brenda reaches up comforting her son. Dylan is still so shook up he watches them. He knows his reaction with Eliot and Aidan was wrong, but he feels the same anger. He wants to ring his sons neck, but knows thats not what he needs right now. It wouldn't help the situation at all.

"Home." Byron answers sadly.

"Do you think…she would be okay coming over? We could all talk about this. She doesn't have to wait a week to confirm the pregnancy. She could go to planned parenthood. They could get her in quickly."

Byron looks at his mom. "We made a deal we wouldn't tell you guys…Donna and David until we knew it was real. I don't know how she is going to react to you guys knowing." he says honestly.

Brenda looks at Dylan, "Are you going to keep the fact we know from her?" she asks looking back at her son.

Byron looks at his mom, "I don't know. I was scared to tell you guys but I wanted to. I wanted to tell dad when we were boxing today. I guess I could ask her. You guys won't tell them will you? Donna and David?"

Dylan speaks up first, "No…we won't say anything until Emma is ready. When the time comes, if she wants us there, we will be. You know Byron…Emma may be relived we know. Especially Brenda…she might appreciate a mother's support, especially if she feels she can't tell her own mom yet?"

"Absolutely." Brenda nods agreeing. "Let us know what she wants us to do. I can call the clinic tomorrow, get her in and then we can go from there." Byron looks at his mom. She smiles a sad smile at him, pushing back his hair lovingly.

Byron nods, "Okay." he exhales, "I'll call her."

Byron looks at his dad, Dylan sitting on the chair, his elbows resting on his knees, his head hanging. "Dad…I'm sorry." He knows his father is disappointed in him.

Brenda looks at her husband, her eyes pleading to be supportive. Dylan swallows hard looking into her eyes. His eyes flicker to his sons, "I know son. We'll figure it out." Byron hugs his mom tightly. Getting up he moves around his dad. His arms wrap tightly against the back of Dylan. Dylan's hand comes to his forearm. A silent show of support passes through them. The sit silent as Byron goes to his room assuming to call Emma.

Brenda's tears free finally. She tried to keep it together for as long as possible. "Oh…Dylan." she whispers. Dylan gets up moving next to her. They sit on Eliot's bed staring at the floor in front of them. The sound of a quiet sob comes out of Brenda, and Dylan wraps his arms around her.

"It will be okay." Dylan tells himself too. "We'll figure it out."

"I don't know if I'm ready to be a grandma." Brenda whispers. "Grandparents." she breathes.

Dylan's arms tighten around her, he kisses her head gently. "I know…baby…I know…me neither." Dylan holds her for what seems like hours. Tears flow easily for both of them.

Byron stands at Eliot's bedroom door, guilt rushes him as he sees his parents comforting one another. His father is the first to look at him.

"Emma's coming over." he says quietly. "She wants to talk to mom." Brenda looks at her son and nods.

Brenda doesn't know how to handle this. She doesn't know what's right. Donna is her best friend…David too. They have known each other for so many years, they are family. She feels guilty but then again, she loves Emma like her own. She knows if Eliot was in this position and didn't feel comfortable coming to her…she would hope her dear friend would do the same.

 _Ok people…so there it was the next chapter. Brenda and Dylan know about Emma. Did you understand Dylan's reaction? Did you think it was bad? Did he overreact? Dylan is Dylan…he acted before thinking but I personally don't think it was too far fetched. Next up, more journals, Emma comes over and her and Byron have a heart to heart with Brenda and Dylan. The pregnancy is confirmed or denied. Do you think she should really be pregnant? Donna and David? Eliot and Byron have a twin moment. Please hit review. Working on Long time coming today :)_


	29. Chapter 29

_Hey everyone. I have been working on this chapter for awhile and Last night in London and I decided to put the finishing touches on it and post. This morning I heard the devastating news about our beloved Dylan McKay…Luke Perry. If you have not heard. He suffered a massive stroke and is in the hospital. Please say a prayer for him. That he does not have lasting damage from this and he can begin to recover quickly. I'm so sad to hear this._

 _On another sad note, since my heart is there already today. I know you guys have all been so patient on waiting for my updates. A lot has happened to me since the holiday season. Just recently I found out I was pregnant…not planned but embraced it. Only to have an emergency D &C on Monday night. I hope you guys understand why I haven't been on and I haven't posted. I'm back and with the news of the 90210 reboot and this Luke Perry news I feel like its so important to keep this Brenda and Dylan love alive. I love you all and thanks for all the reviews and messages and rereads. You guys are seriously the greatest. I myself am doing fine and recovering fine. Here is the next chapter of Journals. Not as much information as I had wanted but I feel like we all needed this update today so I hope you enjoy it. _

_**Chapter 29**_

 _ **Life As We May Know it**_

 _November 21, 1991,_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _There are a few things going on at the moment. Let's start at the most important one. I can not get enough of Brenda. Things could not be more physical and hot with her. She is in my every thought and every breath. I'm absolutely whipped on her and I physically can't get enough of her. The best part…she can't get enough of me either. I see her at her locker and I need to touch her, I need to kiss her and usually at the most inopportune times, I want to make love to her. Today at lunch, we made out in the broom closet at school and I almost took her right there. She of course stopped me but I can't help myself. Sex with Brenda is amazing. We know exactly what to do, what the other likes. We've done all the bases so to speak and it's comfortable. Honestly I can spend the whole afternoon kissing her. Feeling her soft skin, her breasts under my palm._

Eliot made a face… _ok dad…settle down_. She wasn't sure how far he was going to go. She kept reading, she hasn't had to skip entries yet but maybe this would be the first.

 _Alright I'm getting away from myself. Back to the point, Brenda and I are hot and heavy and the year together has done nothing for the lust we have for one another. I drove Brenda home from school today and she invited me in. Her parents weren't home and it was such a nice day we decided to study out in the yard. We both had a history test the following day and of course miss prepared Brenda just had to study. I had other ideas though. As we lay together on the lounger her parents have in her yard, I stared at her as she read over_ _chapter_ _13 about the Louisiana purchase we are going to be tested on. I stared at the way her dark hair blew lightly in the wind. She would bite her lip every now and then as she read and I wanted to bite it for her. Her skin fair and soft looked like perfection in the glow of the afternoon sun. I looked at her, ran my hand softly up her thigh and her eyes met mine. I didn't say anything, she knew by my expression and smirk what I was thinking about. I kissed her. I kissed her softly and allowed my hands to wander over her thigh and up her shirt. We must have been making out awhile, I had no concept of time when we were together like that. She pushed me away, and my lips kissed her neck needing my mouth on her still. I wasn't sure when Cindy would be home and Bren and I had always been pretty respectful of what we did in her bedroom but at that point in time, I would have lost my head by Jim or Cindy to be inside of her. Brenda told me time out. I sighed and pulled back my aggressive horny teenage self. I told her I would sit the bench for awhile and then her lips came back into my mind and I told her time out was over. HAHA! I told you, I couldn't get enough of her. She was all I thought about. She told me she was serious that we were suppose to be studying history not sex ed. I told her the truth, she drives me wild. She said we should be doing more than this. I agreed, bring on the death by Jim, I wanted to take her upstairs and ravish her. She laughed at that. She knew I probably wouldn't be able to have sex with her in her bedroom. Brenda and I had done a lot in there. I had snuck in at times if I was sleeping over with Brandon. Nobody knew, I stayed quiet and always returned to my cot before sunrise. We would make out and just hold each other. Pretty innocent stuff really. Once…Brenda went down on me in her bedroom and it was the most amazing thing that I had ever felt. But still even with her mouth on me, I kept thinking about the position we were in and what would happen if her father had walked in. It was hard to concentrate but still it was the best day of my life. Well one of them anyway._

Eliot rolls her eyes. Didn't do anything in her parents house her ass. She shook her head and continued. Trying not to be annoyed at her fathers reaction towards Aidan when he thought she was pregnant or for the talk in Palm Springs.

 _Brenda said we should be doing more as in more than just making out. That that's all we ever did anymore. She was right but didn't she like it? Oh she did, I knew she did but I just had taken her to a movie the weekend before. Um…I don't even remember what we saw. Oops. She mentioned that too. Saying we hadn't watched the movie and all we did during it was make out and grope each other in the dark. Isn't that what this is all about? Isn't that what teenagers are suppose to do? Make out in movie theaters and cars. Explore and feel things they have never felt before in their lives, and maybe just maybe never will again? I mean teen love, first love, first time, first touch, first sexual relationship…that's what its all about. That sinking need for the other person. The butterflies that swarm in your belly at a look or a touch or a kiss. She said that she had no intention of not being physical with me but that we should try to make an effort to do something interesting or cultural…so we wouldn't feel guilty that we were making out all the time. She had a point I guess. I mean I don't feel guilty making out all the time but I didn't want Brenda to think that's all I wanted form her. I loved her, I loved her a lot and what she didn't understand or maybe she did but the reason I wanted to be with Brenda like that all the time was because I was head over heels in love with her. We were about so much more than physical. I could do this for her. So I decided to look in the paper tonight and find something cultural for us to do and what I came up with was a concert, a classical concert. If that's not freaking romantic I don't know what is!_

 _Dylan_

 _November 22, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _So in my last entry I had mentioned there were other things going on besides Brenda and I's sex life. Well the other thing that was happening was it was homecoming! Brenda designed the float and there was going to be a contest for the best homecoming float this year. We wanted to win. So the gang got together today to build it. I was proud of her, she has designed the whole thing and it was pretty cool. But as we all worked in the driveway of the Walsh house there was some drama with Emily and Brandon. So Brandon had tried to break things off with Emily. After the drug spike he had managed to avoid her as much as possible. Brenda told me this morning that Emily had gotten her tires slashed and stayed the night over their house last night. Brenda didn't believe her tires her slashed at all or that Emily's parents were out of town. She tried to warn Brandon that the girl was taking advantage of him but Brandon being Brandon was too nice of a guy to tell her where to go. She stepped out of the Walsh house today with Brandon's prize 1987 world series Minnesota twins shirt. I couldn't believe he let her even touch that thing. He was obsessed with it and barely wore it himself. I tried to talk some sense into Brandon. Brenda was worried and frankly I was too. I told him he had to be clearer of his intentions. He had to be more direct because obviously she wasn't getting the hint. He said he was scared at what might happen to her if he broke up with her and I told him I was scared what might happen to him if he didn't. She was going a little fatal attraction on him and it worried me. If Brenda was right about Emily that would mean she slashed her own tires and that's just whacked. I hoped Brandon would sit down and have a discussion with her before she did something worse._

 _As we built the float, I still couldn't help checking out Brenda. She wore jeans and a simple grey t-shirt. Her hair was half up and she looked sexy as all hell. Jim and Cindy had come out to check things out and Brenda told them to chip in and sweat. All I thought about was seeing Brenda sweat. Last time we made love at my house. We made love for longer than ever. She rode me on top and I just remember the sweat glistening off her forehead and chest. UGH fuck now I have to go pick her up for the concert and I already have a hard on. Diary please help me reign in my physical need for this girl. It's getting ridiculous. I even told her I wanted to see her sweat and she was not amused saying her parents were standing 6 feet away from us. So I made a joke that I'd wait to get her alone tonight at the concert. She again wasn't amused saying that I had promised to be good. Did I? I didn't remember saying that…I said we could do something cultural but good…oh come on she knows me better than that. I told her I was kidding and slapped her ass. She chased me and after catching me she kissed me with the sweet sexy smirk I loved so much. I don't know man…I think she is it for me. I hope this feeling with Brenda lasts forever. Got to go pick up Brenda for the concert…if were lucky, we will enjoy some romantic classical violin and I will be on my best behavior. Um…I think?_

 _Dylan_

 _November 22, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Same night…Ummm yeah that didn't work. I just got home from bringing Brenda home. Um…The concert was awesome but we couldn't go 20 minutes without pawing each other. I'm pretty sure the people behind us thought we were insane. Making out like that in public. We couldn't help it, the music was beautiful and romantic. As soon as I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes, we were done for. We came back to my place after the concert and we made love. I promised her we would try again next week. Build up our tolerance for it…or maybe we just like to make out to music HAHA. We're hopeless._

 _Dylan_

 _November 23, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Ok Brandon has a stalker situation. Prank calls galore. She follows him around everywhere. Man am I glad that's him and not me. Just think, I could be the one breaking up with Emily. UGH no thank you. There is nothing more unattractive then a desperate girl that doesn't get the hint. Brenda called me tonight after dinner, she said there was over 13 messages on their families answering machine from Emily. Yes over 13 for Cindy and Jim to hear. This girl is psycho, who would do that? Bren said one of them was talking about how much she missed him, the way he held her and caressed her body. Oh my god…how utterly embarrassing. Jim heard that…I'd rather die. And it makes me question her sanity personally. This isn't about a broken heart…this is a fatal attraction and those never end well. I saw Brenda at lunch today she said Emily left a cake and Brandon's baseball jersey ironed and cleaned on their porch this morning. This girl is crazy and Brandon needs to put his foot down…before Brenda does._

 _On another note, I'm taking Brenda tonight to_ _Niccolò Paganini_ _. He was an Italian violinist, violist, guitarist, and composer. He was the most celebrated violin virtuoso of his time. He wrote wild stuff with the violin. We won't be bored, I have a feeling it will be amazing. We are dead set on proving we can do this. We can sit and listen to some interesting music, we are also showing we are mature enough to restrain ourselves in public. At least that's what Brenda tells me. Deep breath…we can do this. We can. Fuck…I want her already. I'm going over to her house now to finish the float and take pictures for the paper. Dylan…put it away we are more mature than this. Aren't we? Brenda is a wild cat and I'm the only one that knows. HA! God help me and my penis._

 _Dylan_

Eliot laughs and shakes her head. She closes the book and sighs. Her parents are gross and disgustingly cute at the same time. To read about them in this time in their life, so close to her age is both disturbing and sweet. Sadly she can relate to more than she liked to admit. She also knows that things between them haven't changed much. Her father is still always touching her mom. A hand on her back, a kiss on the cheek, to her forehead. An arm around her waist. She sighs dreamily and laughs lightly at the thought that her parents still listen to classical music…especially Paganini, it must be their thing. She hopes that whoever she ends up, whoever she settles down with will love her like they love each other. It's like that with Aidan already which makes her smile. Then her mind wanders to Byron. What he must be going through. Emma pregnant. She couldn't imagine. Eliot wants to stay in her room and give them space and thats why she was continuing to read her fathers journal. Emma was coming over to talk to her parents. She couldn't fathom how she must feel. Byron she knew was scared but Emma. Emma must be climbing the walls and beyond upset. Here they were in their junior year, high school students, 17 years old and in 9 months she could be an aunt. The thought alone was frightening. Her brother would be a dad. Her parents would be grandparents. They were too young for that. They were in their early 40's but they wouldn't be the first 43 year old grandparents or the last. And Emma wouldn't be the only 17 year old mother either. But still the idea of this happening to her family was surreal. She wondered what Emma would do. Eliot knew what she would do. She'd have an abortion there was no doubt about that.

Dylan sat on the couch contemplating the nights events. He apologized again to Aidan. He felt like shit for reacting the way he had. He liked Aidan and in the short couple of weeks he had been living with them he had grown to see past the boy who was having sex with his daughter and see a mature sweet young man. He was respectful and nice. He treated Eliot with respect and was a gentlemen, aside from the normal teenage hormonal stuff, he was in love with her and Dylan couldn't begrudge him that. There was a time when all he thought about was Brenda, sexually…non sexually. It was natural, it was first love. Then his mind went to his son. Byron a dad. Dylan couldn't comprehend it. Would Donna and David allow them to help? Dylan was ready and wanted another baby. Would they allow them to raise it? Or take care of it? Would Brenda want that? Could they adopt it and raise it as their own? Or just help out the new young parents so they could finish school…attend college? There was so many things to consider. Donna and David were their best friends. Even more so as the years went on. The whole entire gang was closer than ever, they were family. In his heart after the shock of it all he knew they would still be close, at least he hoped this wouldn't change things. It may take a little while though.

"Babe?" Dylan's head raised to see Brenda standing in the doorway to the study. "You okay?" She entered and came to sit next to him. For the first time since sitting here thinking Dylan noticed the music softly filling the study. He looked at his wife. She gave him a sad smile.

Dylan reached up gently placing her hair behind her ear as he took her in. Brenda usually was so put together. She had on lounge pants and a tank top. She was barefoot. Her hair looked messy but in a sexy way. Her tears had made her eyeliner run a little and gather under her eye. Even then he thought she was so beautiful.

He stared into her eyes. "It's going to be okay…you know that right?" She spoke up.

Dylan moved his arm around her shoulders pulling her into him, "Yeah…I know." He said unconvincingly. Silence filled the room as they sat cuddled together. "Bren?"

Brenda looked up, "If…Emma is pregnant. Would you be willing to help them? Raise the baby? Whatever they wanted?" He swallowed hard looking into her eyes.

Brenda thought for a moment, "I would…would you?"

"In a heart beat." Brenda nodded and cuddled closer to him. They were silent as a song played softly through the study. "Do you remember Brandon and Kelly's wedding?"

Dylan smiled hearing the song, he squeezed her closer to him. His head rested on hers then he kissed it softly. "I was about 5 months pregnant…you would not stop hounding me to get married."

Dylan chuckled and kissed her head again. "We danced to this song do you remember?"

"I do…I also remember singing it to you." Dylan smiled.

 _I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

 _But I will never do you wrong_

 _I've known it from the moment that we met_

 _No doubt in my mind where you belong_

 _I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue_

 _And I'd go crawling down the avenue_

 _No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do_

 _To make you feel my love_

"Hearing you sing this to me almost made me marry you on the spot." Brenda admitted.

Dylan pulled away a little looking into her eyes, "Are you serious? Now you tell me…you made me wait 2 years before you let me make an honest woman out of you." Brenda giggled. "I just wanted to be there for you…with you…I wanted to take care of you…the babies. I would have done anything for you."

She leaned in and kissed him gently. It was a slow…deep sensual kiss. She pulled away keeping her closeness.

"What if I had been pregnant all those years ago…in high school? What would we have done? What would you have done then?" Brenda asked honestly.

Dylan smiled, "I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. There's nothing that I wouldn't do. Go to the ends of this Earth for you. To make you feel my love." He sang along. "I would have done the exact same thing I did when we were pregnant in our 20's Bren. Our son will too. He will take responsibility and we will help him."

Tears filled Brenda's eyes as she nodded. Just then the doorbell rang and Byron appeared in the doorway. "Emma texted me at the gate…she's here."

Both Brenda and Dylan nodded as Byron went to get the door. They stood up to move this conversation into the living room. Dylan reached down and took her hand gently. He squeezed it as she looked up at him. No words were spoken, they knew what they had to do. They had to be loving and supportive…they had to be there for them. They wanted to make sure their son…felt their love and their support no matter what the test said.

Kelly sat across from Ryan. After the fight and hoopla with Valerie and Brandon she gave into Ryan's persistent advances. It wasn't that Kelly didn't like the attention or that she didn't think Ryan was attractive, she was just still in love with Brandon. But if Brandon was moving on…maybe Kelly should try too.

"What looks good to you?" Kelly looked up to meet Ryans eyes.

"Um…I was thinking maybe the salmon. What about you?" He said without looking up. Conversation had been comfortable and light.

Kelly smiled hearing the soft music flow through restaurant. "You know at my prom at West Beverly…the prom committee actually got Cathy Dennis to play at the prom."

Ryan eyed her, "Who's Cathy Dennis?" He was clueless.

Kelly pointed up at the song, "You know…Hold me baby…drive me crazy touch me…" Ryan looked at her as she sang. "Never mind." She murmured with a shake of her head looking back towards her menu. My god this guy was so young he didn't even know who Cathy Dennis was.

"Maybe I'll go for the chicken." Ryan said contemplating changing the subject. Kelly looked at him, as he looked at his menu. She took a deep breath. She hadn't been on a date with anyone in 17 years. She then thought about Brandon. How when things were happy with them they could talk about anything. He knew everything about her. It was hard thinking about starting over again. Ryan had gone back to talking about the salmon. Kelly couldn't decide on what to have either. Her mind was mush and her nerves were shot.

As Ryan finally decided on the salmon, Kelly's mind was shamelessly thinking about how if this was Brandon, she would have ordered one thing and him the other and they would have tried and shared having the best of both worlds. Also Brandon would have known who the fuck Cathy Dennis was. Kelly sighed as she ordered and faked a smile. This guy was cute, he was nice…she could do this. As she chatted comfortably with Ryan. She looked into his brown eyes but all she craved was blue ones staring back at her.

The chat with Emma and Byron had gone as expected. There were tears and hugs and words of support. Brenda had told Emma she would take her to the clinic if she wanted. To confirm the pregnancy so she wouldn't have to wait. Emma did not want Brenda or Dylan to tell her parents, which both had agreed to for now. When Emma left she hugged Brenda tightly and thanked her. The McKay house hold went to bed that night in silence and sadness. Dylan had wished for a baby. In a million years he didn't expect to get one in this way. All of them agreed that they wouldn't make any decisions until they knew it was real. If in fact it was really happening. As Dylan and Brenda lay awake in bed. Staring at the ceiling, thoughts of what this new life might look like danced in their head. Dylan thought about Brenda's pregnancy scare and the what if and feelings he had at that time. He knew his son could do this. He believed in him but he also was very aware of the fact he shouldn't have to. He had his whole life ahead of him. Dylan reaches for his wife's hand. She squeezes it back tightly. There they stare at the ceiling for hours wondering what their lives will be like now.

 _Next up…Emma's pregnancy is confirmed or denied. More of Kelly and Ryan…and Brandon reads Kelly's journal. More Dylan journals coming up too! Hit review my beautiful people! Pray for Luke Perry!_


	30. Chapter 30

_**Chapter 30**_

 _ **Annabel Lee**_

Brenda sat in the lobby at Planned Parenthood with Byron next to her, Emma beside him. She looked around at the cheap art and woman's choice posters. It hadn't changed much since she was younger. She looked over at her son. Byron looked scared to death as he gripped Emma's hand.

"Emma Silver." A woman appeared. Emma looked at them with worried eyes as she got up and followed the women into the back. Byron leaned his elbows on his knees and exhaled.

"I still can't believe this is happening." He whispered.

Brenda leaned forward wrapping her arm around her son tightly. "Whatever they say we will deal with it. Okay?"

Byron swallowed hard and nods. Silence fills the waiting room. Brenda thought about when she came here all those years ago. Then she had come here for real to confirm what she already had known when she found out about the twins. That was when she got referred to her long standing ob/gyn. She thought about calling her but realized Donna went to her as well. This was better…quicker…safer. Maybe it was a false alarm? I mean they do happen.

Brenda and Byron wait for any sign of Emma getting none. After what seems like an hour. A nurse walks out.

"Byron? Mrs. McKay?" She says which causes both of them to stand anticipating. "Come on back…Emma is asking for you both." She smiled politely as Brenda grabs Byrons hand. He holds it firmly as they walk to meet Emma.

They are led to an office, the Physicians Assistant's office. Emma is sitting there already. Byron rushes her letting go of his moms hand to comfort her. Brenda tries to read her face but there are no tears just a solum look of calm and shock. Brenda's heart aches, Is she?

"Come in Mrs. McKay. Emma and I were discussing her exam today and she wanted both go you to be present."

Brenda nods and moves into the empty chair next to her son. Her hand comes over Byrons, his other is holding Emma's tightly.

"So we ran a pregnancy test here in the office and it was indeed positive." Brenda exhaled trying to contain her emotions. "We decided to do an ultrasound to see how far along Emma is."

Brenda's head moved towards hearing Emma sob out. Brenda's hand left abandoned as Byron wraps his arms around her.

"So how far along is she?" Brenda's attention goes to the only other adult own the room.

"Well that's the thing. Her ultrasound showed a gestational sac…and yolk sac…but no fetus. If Emma is correct on her last period than she should be about 6 weeks, it's still early but there should be a fetus by now."

"I know when my last period was…I'm certain." Emma says tears in her voice.

The PA looks down at her chart and then back at Brenda. "This happens sometimes. An egg is released and fertilized and implants in the uterus but it doesn't develop. It's called a blighted ovum and usually the causes are chromosomal. Just something wrong in the genetic mark up that freezes growth."

Brenda exhales again relieved but then it dawns on her that Emma is not happy she still sits in tears, Brenda clears her throat. "So what happens now?

"I gave Emma three options. One, we can wait a week and see if things have gotten off to a slow start which might lead to miscarrying on her own. Two, we can give Emma a prostaglandin medication called misoprostol that will speed up the process of her miscarriage. Or three, we schedule dilation and curettage, known as a D&C and handle it all at once."

Brenda leans forward and looks at Emma. "Whatever you want to do is okay…it's up to you sweetie. No one can make this decision but you." She reassures her.

Byron looks into Emma's eyes. They stare at each other for what seems like a long time finally Emma speaks up.

"I think…I want to take the medication."

"No Emma." Byron begs.

"Or the procedure…I don't know what to do." She drops her face in her hands and cries loudly.

"Can you give us a minute?" Brenda asks the PA who understandably nods an leaves them alone.

Once the office door is shut Brenda moves in front of the teenagers. "Do you guys want to discuss this alone?"

"No…Brenda please stay." Brenda eyes Byron who agrees.

"What's going through your head right now Emma?"

"I want to get this over with. I don't want to wait."

"Emma…but."

"What Byron?" Emma raises her voice. "There is no baby…let me just take the medication and put this behind us."

"But…what if." Tears roll down Byron's cheek and Benda wants to hug him. She keeps her composure. "What if they're wrong. What if it's what she says…a slow start?"

Emma's mouth drops, "Are you serious? You want to prolong this? You want to wait to see if a baby grows when either of us is ready for one if it does?" Emma's voice panicked.

"I don't know Em…it just doesn't feel right…what if we are killing it?"

Brendas hand goes to her cheek as she watches these two young kids…make a decision that her herself was thankful she never had to make.

"What would you do?" Emma and Byron's frighten eyes stare at her.

"Um…I don't know." She shakes her head. I guess it would depend."

"Depend on what?" Byron asks confused.

"Well…I mean if this was now…with your dad I might wait By…but if this was me at 17 years old…I don't know."

Byron looks down. It wasn't what he wanted to hear. Silence flows around the room for several minutes until the PA returns. You can't blame her. She has other patients they are keeping her from.

Brenda sits down, "Ms. Welch?"

"Cheryl." The PA insists.

"Cheryl, What are the odds that this could be a normal pregnancy?"

Cheryl's elbows find her desk as she clasps her hands together. "Honestly…not great. I mean medically 50/50 and thats being generous but with Emma's low hormone levels that just got resulted and the lack of growth with the ultrasound…it doesn't looks good." She shrugs sweetly.

"Will the medication hurt her?" Byron asks heartbroken.

Cheryl gives them a sad smile. "We will give her the first pill today in the office, then she takes the second at home. It should take effect in the first 24 hours and it could be uncomfortable. Cramping…and heavy bleeding. Then we will want to check back with you in a couple weeks make sure everything has passed.

"2 weeks? Cramping and bleeding?" Emma cries harder.

"You can do the procedure. It's outpatient. It takes about 20 minutes and you'll be under anesthesia. It will be done at our clinic downtown…by an MD, maybe some spotting but no pain."

"Like surgery?" She asks nervously.

The conversation flows for several more minutes until Cheryl gives Emma the information to set up the D&C. Emma is dead set against anything that will cause her pain and Byron agrees. Plus after Cheryl tells her miscarrying on her own or with the pill could last for days even weeks, the decision is clear. Emma doesn't want her parents knowing anything. She'd rather go on and have everything taken care of. Byron reluctantly agrees. Brenda on the other hand, thinks its time to tell David and Donna. This is anesthesia and a procedure, it doesn't feel right keeping it from them. If the roles were reversed she would want to know.

Brenda and Dylan sit in Donna and David's living room. Donna smiles as she brings a tray of tea and cookies to the coffee table. She sits next to David and takes a deep breath. She eyes the kids who are fidgeting and quiet. Too quiet.

"So…what did you guys have to talk to us about?" Donna asks nicely.

"Um…um…oh god." Emma busts out the tears. Byron places his arm around her.

Brenda squeezes Dylan's hand. He looks at her. Brenda's eyes begging him to step in. He exhales and looks at David and just like that they are dads, not friends not two men who have known each other for most their life. Tears fill David's eyes and he looks down, he knows.

"We found out a few nights ago. Byron told us and Emma came over so we could talk about it."

David didn't raise his head as Donna stares at them still confused. "I took her to the clinic to confirm." Brenda steps in.

Donna breathes out and shakes her head with an uncomfortable laugh, "What are you guys talking about?"

"Donna…she's pregnant." David looks over at his wife.

"What?" She whispers almost hisses.

"Was." Emma looks at her parents, "I was but…I'm not."

Donna stands suddenly, "You got an abortion!?" She almost yells.

Brenda stands now, "Donna…No." She shakes her head and swallows. She wanted to stop her from making this all worse.

Emma stands crying, "I'm going to miscarry…there was no baby…or an empty sac they called it."

Donna breathes out and paces twice. "Thank god." She closes her eyes relieved.

"Donna?" Byron looks at her hurt but he is met with a murderous stare.

"You." She points at him.

"Donna…come on." Dylan speaks out.

Donna ignores him, "It's my opinion..that this relationship has certainly gone too far." Brenda sits slowly next to her husband again. This speech all too familiar. Donna tearfully continues, "And I think it's time that the two of you give it a break."

"Mom…no." Emma cries.

"Emma…you are not to see him anymore. He is not welcome in this house and there will be no more teenage sex going on either. God knows Brenda and Dylan allow it."

"Hey!" Brenda is up again. This time Dylan stands too.

"By…why don't you go wait in the car and Emma give us a minute will you sweetie?" Dylan speaks calmly.

Silence reigns over the living room as the teenagers scurry out quickly.

David exhales loudly, "Fuck." He breathes.

Dylan stares at him, he can understand his silence and disappointment. Donna speaks, "How can you guys allow this to happen?"

"We do not allow our kids to have sex Donna. But you know they are going to do it anyway." Brenda turns on the defense.

"Right so you give them condoms and say have fun kids…be safe?"

"Yeah that is exactly what we do." Dylan nods, "What else are we suppose to do? Byron was safe he was careful…shit happens Donna. I think the best thing right now is to be thankful this pregnancy wasn't meant to be. We be there for our kids and support them. We don't forbid them to see each other. Brenda and I know from experience it doesn't work like that. They will just sneak around and rebel…they love each other."

Donna crosses her arms and laughs, "Love…they don't even know what love is."

"Really?" Brenda laughs too. "Coming from you…who married your high school boyfriend. Or shit me and Dylan. This room is is filled right now of first endless love Donna. It can be real. We have to trust in our kids to make the right decisions and be there when they need advice."

"Right. Like you…taking my daughter to a disgusting clinic, without even telling me. Stepping in and being the cool mom? Please Brenda. It was easy to support Emma in this because it wasn't Eliot. You both know that."

Brenda breaths out of her nose, trying to take calming breaths. She understands their anger and disappointment. "I'm sorry Donna. I just wanted to show the kids that even though they made a mistake, they weren't alone." Brenda exhaled, "Emma has a d&c scheduled for Thursday at 9 am." Brenda takes out the card and lays it on the living room table. "I'd like to go, I told her I would be there for her."

"That won't be necessary Bren…I can take care of my own daughter. You worry about your own. And I find it funny that you claim that you don't allow sex in your home when I heard Emma say that Eliot and Aidan got caught doing it in Palm Springs." Donna clenches her teeth. "In your house. Now that is great parenting."

"Donna." David speaks up. His eyes close again and he shakes his head. "Stop."

Brenda and Dylan are silent. As they stare at their long time best friends. What exactly can they say? It was true.

"I think you guys should leave." Tears run down Donna's cheeks. Brenda tries to reach for her but she turns and rushes out of the living room. Her feet making noise as she sends the stairs.

"David." Brenda whispers. "We're sorry, we were going to tell you. We just wanted to confirm and Emma wanted to wait…she was scared."

David doesn't look at them and looks down. David is clearly not talking to them. Tears fill Brenda's eyes. She knows this is hard. She knows this is a shock, she thought that the anger and sadness would be more directed at the kids then at her and Dylan. She didn't think Donna would blame them or criticize their parenting.

"David please." She begs. After getting the cold shoulder and silence. Brenda rushes out of the living room in tears and out the front door. David stands then feeling badly watching her go.

Both men's eyes meet. "I'm sorry David." He reaches out to shake his hand.

David looks down at it not reaching to meet it, "Aren't you going say anything?" Dylan begs for a something…anything. "We've been friends…family for god sakes for way too long."

David stares into Dylan's eyes, "Keep your son away from my daughter." And then Dylan is alone in the living room.

The ride home was silent, they knew there was things needing to be said but no one spoke. Tonight did not go as planned. Brenda and Dylan felt that maybe time was what they needed. Time to process and deal with the shock. They had no doubt that things could go back to the way they were. They just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

Brenda made lunches for the following day and cleaned up the kitchen. She made her way upstairs coming to her bedroom door. She looked in and saw Dylan, sitting up in bed reading, shirtless and looking delicious with his tanned chiseled chest. She took a deep breath drinking him in.

"Hey baby." Dylan gave her a small smile. "Come here." He patted her spot softly. Brenda gave him a sad smile and climbed in next to him. She cuddled close and closed her eyes. She felt Dylan kiss her head a few times softly as he cuddled her closer to him.

"What cha reading?" She said softly.

"Poe." He said equally as soft.

Brenda looked up at him, his eyes meeting hers, "How depressing." She chuckled.

"It's not. Have you read Annabel Lee? It's one of my favorites."

Brenda shook her head and rested against his chest. "Will you read it to me?" She asked sweetly.

Dylan smiled and kissed her head again long and sweet. He began.

" _It was many and many a year ago,_

 _In a kingdom by the sea,_

 _That a maiden there lived whom you may know_

 _By the name of ANNABEL LEE;-_

 _And this maiden she lived with no other thought_

 _Than to love and be loved by me._

 _She was a child and I was a child,_

 _In this kingdom by the sea,_

 _But we loved with a love that was more than love-_

 _I and my Annabel Lee-_

 _With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven_

 _Coveted her and me._

 _And this was the reason that, long ago,_

 _In this kingdom by the sea,_

 _A wind blew out of a cloud by night_

 _Chilling my Annabel Lee;_

 _So that her high-born kinsman came_

 _And bore her away from me,_

 _To shut her up in a sepulchre_

 _In this kingdom by the sea._

 _The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,_

 _Went envying her and me:-_

 _Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,_

 _In this kingdom by the sea)_

 _That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling_

 _And killing my Annabel Lee._

 _But our love it was stronger by far than the love_

 _Of those who were older than we-_

 _Of many far wiser than we-_

 _And neither the angels in Heaven above,_

 _Nor the demons down under the sea,_

 _Can ever dissever my soul from the soul_

 _Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:-_

 _For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams_

 _Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;_

 _And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes_

 _Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;_

 _And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side_

 _Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,_

 _In her sepulchre there by the sea-_

 _In her tomb by the side of the sea._

Brenda sat silent. Dylan looked down at her, nudged her softly, "What so you think?"

"That's beautiful and so tragic. I'm right…it's depressing, Poe is always about death." Dylan chuckled. Brenda mind wanders back to the evening with Donna and Davis.

"Brenda…you are an amazing mom." Dylan uttered softly. Finally bringing up the pink elephant from the night. "We didn't fail. Things happen. David and Donna will get over it."

Brenda looked up at him, tears filled her eyes. "I never meant to go behind her back. It was my idea to tell them. If this was up to Emma, she would have hid the whole thing. If Eliot had felt like she couldn't come to me with this, I would hope she would feel comfortable going to any of the group with this. Just the things she said. You know? She acts as though were hosting teenage sex parties at our house. It was hurtful but I know she was just upset."

Dylan nodded, "I mean Brenda…you have to understand Donna has different beliefs when it comes to sex. She made David wait for years to take that step. She even lost him a few times because of it. We're not bad parents because were realistic. Donna's decision to stay a virgin wasn't right or wrong it was her decision. She has to understand her daughter didn't feel the same. But its a tough pill to swallow, here she finds out her daughter is having sex and a pregnancy whether it was meant to be or not occurred. It's a lot to take in. They'll come around, just give them some time."

"And if they don't?" Brenda tears up again.

"I don't know." Dylan answers not knowing.

"I think tomorrow we talk to Byron, we tell him to lay low. Give Donna and David some time to process and come to terms."

"You know they are going to see each other anyway…I mean we did."

Dylan nods, "I know." Brenda looks at him, thinking about that time. How hard and awful it seemed.

She smiles at him leaning in to kiss his sweet lips. "Maybe they'll send her off to Paris?"

Dylan laughs amused and shakes his head.

"I'm going check the kids." Brenda got up thinking now that she should have to be sex patrol. Dylan laughed lightly again. After Brenda made sure the kids were tucked in their own beds and sleeping soundly. She changes for bed and cuddled into Dylan again.

"Why is that poem one of your favorites?" Brenda asks curiously as they lay face to face in their dark bedroom.

Dylan thought for a moment. "Because Poe writes so eloquently about the love of his life."

"But she dies."

"I know…but he won't let her go. Though they were young when they fell in love, their love for one another burned with such an intensity that angels became envious. It is for that reason that the narrator believes the seraphim caused her death. Even so, their love is strong enough that it extends beyond the grave and the narrator believes their two souls are still entwined. Every night, the narrator dreams of Annabel Lee and sees the brightness of her eyes in the stars. Every night the narrator lies down by her side in her tomb by the sea. It's beautiful. That's how I feel about you, even though our story is much brighter thankfully, I can relate to that intense love they share even after death. I don't know there is just something so beautiful about it."

Brenda touches his face tenderly, "You are the one that's beautiful." She smiles. Her choice of words making Dylan chuckle. "How did I get so lucky?" She whispers.

"I'm the lucky one Bren. Always have been."

"Well…let's just make a deal that when the time comes…in the far far far far future we die together." Brenda smiles and laughs, half kidding. "That way neither one os us has to suffer like Poe."

Dylan laughs too, "Deal." He nods and kisses her softly. "But we loved with a love that was more than love— I and my Annabel Lee." He whispers to her before he kisses her deeply. "I'm going to love you until my last breath baby…you're stuck with me…my Annabel Lee" Dylan lingers close to her face with a teasing smile.

"And you're stuck with me." She kisses him hungrily. He groans in response moving over her so he can show her exactly how much love he feels for her.

 _I hope you liked this sort of closing to the Emma and Byron pregnancy drama. It definitely isn't done and over but I feel like this had to be done a little. Next up the after math of the Donna and David drama, Eliot reads more journals, Brenda and Dylan share sweet moments and Something happens that brings the family together. Hit review people! RIP Luke Perry…still can't believe he's gone. I felt like the poem fits them so much more now than ever._


	31. Chapter 31

_**Chapter 31**_

 _ **A Sense of Family**_

 _November 28, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Happy Thanksgiving! You know I was never one for holidays. Usually it was because I was always alone. This year I spent it with the Walsh's. Cindy cooked a mean turkey with all the fixings…sure beat ordering room service like I was used too. Nope it was great! Good food, Brenda by my side. Her making eyes with me throughout dinner. Taking an after dinner nap in each others arms out back. I mean turkey does make one sleepy. All in all it was a good Thanksgiving. I can't even remember the last Thanksgiving I had. I mean a real one. Iris wasn't much of a cook and left when I was 6 years old. My father wasn't home ever. I don't know. It was nice to feel like part of a real family. It feels special and it feels right. I guess what I'm saying diary is, I hope that this is the beginning of many great Thanksgivings to come. With Brenda by my side. Maybe someday we'll host our own holiday. Family and friends around the table, Brenda recreating Cindy's American cuisine, maybe bringing in her own touch. I don't know I can only hope._

 _Dylan_

Eliot sighs and looks up. Her mother was reading a script, sitting comfortably on a over sized arm chair, feet propped underneath herself. Brenda looked up feeling Eliot's eyes on her.

"What?" Brenda smiles.

Eliot shrugs, "I guess I keep reading daddy's book waiting for the other show to drop. I'm up to Junior year Thanksgiving and I guess I'm nervous about how this ends."

Brenda tilts her head and tosses the script on the coffee table. She gets up and moves next to her. Her hand going to Eliot's knee.

"Are you asking me when me and your dad break up? That's kind of cheating isn't it?" Brenda smiles a warm smile at her daughter, trying to lighten the mood.

"Is it soon? I just…it seems to be going too well." Eliot looks at her mom concerned.

Brenda looks down and purses her lips, she shakes her head and then looks at her daughter, "It's not soon. Your dad and I broke up November of 1992. So you got a lot to read until you get to that part, some truly good times. Honey…you have nothing to worry about. It has a happy ending." Brenda smiles again and squeezes her leg trying to reassure her.

"Will it be hard to read? Was it hard for you to read?" Eliot looks at her mom, as Dylan makes his way into the living room.

"My gorgeous girls…what are we talking about?" He smiles a genuine smile and sits across from them. Silence fills the living room. Dylan's eyes going back and forth between two pairs of awkward eyes, "What did I miss?"

Brenda takes a deep breath, she looks at Eliot for the okay, Eliot responds with a quick nod and Brenda continues, "Eliot was asking if our break up…was soon in the book. I was just telling her that it was not. She still has a year of the Brenda and Dylan Saga." Brenda smiles but Dylan then looks at his daughter.

"You worried about that El?" Dylan's voice concerned and smooth.

Eliot looks at her mom and then her father, she shrugs shyly. "I just…wanted to be prepared. It's hard to imagine let alone read." She shrugs again, "I mean you guys break up in 1992…you didn't get married until 2002. Ten years of pining…of nothing..of wasted time?"

Brenda laughs and this time Dylan chuckles quietly. "Oh no sweetie…there is more of us. We hadn't been broken up for 10 years before coming back together" Dylan smirks shyly looking down.

"I'm so confused." Eliot whines.

"I'm gonna get dinner on but Eliot…just read it and to answer your question before daddy came in, yeah some is hard but most is beautiful and even in the bad…theres good, if that makes sense." Brenda smiles and gets up, giving Dylan a flirty wink as she leaves. Dylan stares at his daughter.

"There is a lot of stuff to cover. I mean that book spans over many many years Eliot. Some may be hard to read, I'm not gonna lie to you. You don't have to read it sweetie." Dylan would be okay with this. Not that he isn't happy she is reading about his life just that, he knows it will be hard for her to read…maybe harder than it was for Brenda to read. Brenda lived it, she knew the bad already.

"I want to read it…I do…I'm just…I'm scared."

"Oh honey." Dylan breaths, he gets up walking over to Eliot and cuddles her against his chest. "What are you scared about? Eliot I have always loved your mom. Not even going into to ending up together your mom was my first love. Even if we weren't gonna be, what are the kids saying these days, end game?" Eliot chuckles and wipes under he nose, "Your mother was always special to me. I always cared about her, I always loved her, I mean I adored her. She was and remains my best friend. But." Dylan squeezes her into him, "We were end game." He smiles widely as Eliot looks up at her dad and chuckles. "Plus." Dylan gets up and looks at her with a playful expression. "If you don't continue you won't see me follow her."

"Follow her…where?"

"London." Dylan smiles down at her and Eliot's eyes widen.

"You went to London with mom when she studied at RADA?"

"I guess you'll have to see." And just like that Dylan walks out of the living room.

Eliot looks down at the thick book and rubs her right hand over it lovingly. She smiles widely, opening it back up to where she left off.

 _December 12, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _The buzz around school at the moment is all about the winter dance this Friday. I of course am going with Brenda. Brandon is being stubborn saying he doesn't do dancing, Kelly is going with Chuck Wilson or Chuckie…who Brenda thinks is "adorable" Ugh he is not and yes I said that in a girly lame voice, he's not adorable. I don't mean to be jealous I just can't help it. Steve is not happy about that, probably because he is still hung up on Kelly. Steve also has gotten himself suspended for fist fighting the guy…not that I blame him, sorry jealousy is a weird emotion. And Donna sweet Donna is going with David Silver. We play around with her and give her a hard time but he's a good kid. He's younger but only by a year, it feels like more. HA We don't really care Donna is going with David. At least I don't but she keeps saying they're only friends. Still it's fun to break her balls a little._

 _Things with Bren are amazing. We love each other and it feels really nice to be in this committed secure relationship with her. Her family has been welcoming, they have me over for dinners more times then I can even count. I'm part of the family. It's nice. Especially because I have never had that before. I can't really explain it, it was like I never really truly knew what I was missing until I met the Walsh's. I like the feeling, I like being part of their world. I like who I am when I'm with Brenda. My grades are even good, she's a good influence on me. I mean the winter dance? The old Dylan would never have gone to a dance but it's kind of a given these days. For one Brenda likes dancing, she actually really enjoys it and what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't bring her? Why so guys like Chuckie fucking Wilson can try to sink his claws into her. NO…No fucking way. Brenda is my girl and the only one that is going to paw and dance and sneak kisses and maybe cop a feel of her ass while we dance will be me._

 _Dylan_

Eliot laughed and shook her head. She heard giggles coming from the kitchen. She held the book to her chest and walked quietly to the kitchen. She peaked around the corner and watched her parents. Brenda cut vegetables as her father stood behind her, his head leaned into her neck. He kissed it sensually as Brenda laughed again squirming away from him a little.

"Stop. You're gonna make me cut myself." Brenda joked causing Dylan to keep going. Brenda pushed outward with her butt making him separate a foot or so. She laughed out loud seeing his pouting face and threw a raw carrot at him. Dylan caught it in his mouth, and crunched down on it.

"Oh yeah." Dylan's hands came up in victory. "Did you see that Bren?" Dylan said happily.

Eliot smiled seeing her mom clap and laugh out loud. "We're a good team." She said playfully.

Dylan's arms came around Brenda's waist pulling her against him. "Yes we are baby. The best." He whispered the last part against her mouth. She watched her parents kiss passionately. She shook her head as she watched her dad reach down and grab her ass as he moaned and deepened it. Eliot rolled her eyes and walked back to the living room to continue reading, that was her cue, ick.

 _December 14, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Brenda has some last minute decorating to do for the dance so since I had study hall last period I cut out not having to bring her home. I went by the pit and to my surprise Steve was there. Nat had told me he had been there for hours, not having to be at school and had three pieces of pie and nothing was working to cheer him up. So I decided to try my best. Steve told me something that honestly surprised me because I had no idea. Steve was adopted. He wants to find his real mother. You know, I know from experience you can't expect to have a relationship with someone just because they are biologically your parent. Look at me, my mom is back in Hawaii and doesn't have a relationship with me. Or at least she didn't for a long time, my dad is in jail for god sakes. I tried to be honest with Steve and I told him just that. I also get it. The want to be part of a family or in his case to know where he came from, what she looks like, if she is kind and beautiful? Why she gave him up? I can't begrudge him for that. I just hope that he doesn't forget that his mom, Samantha Sanders may not have given birth to him, but she choose him. She loves him and has always been there for him. Steve is going to do what he needs to do but I hope I helped a little. I hope he knows and is prepared that sometimes people don't want to be found._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looks up and frowns, Steve is adopted? She has a friend named Beth that is adopted. She is finding it interesting she isn't only learning about her mom and dad but the rest of the gang that have been practically like uncles and aunts to her. She also thinks about Donna and David. She isn't far enough yet but she sees that this might be the beginning of them too. Its been a week since Emma had her D&C. Her mother and Eliot had gone. Donna ignored both of them but it didn't matter, as long as Brenda and Eliot were there for Emma, that's all that mattered. Byron has been moping around the house more. Him and Emma are still together secretly but they don't hang out as much as they once did. Something about laying low for a little while. Eliot hopes someday it will be back to normal. She misses Emma, she misses the Silver's period and she knows her parents do too.

 _December 15, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Well the winter dance did not disappoint. Brenda looked edible in a gold dress, she wore her hair up which I loved because it was easy to kiss her neck. She invited me to spend Christmas with her family, which I agreed, I mean Jim Walsh will probably dress up like Santa but there is honestly no where else I'd rather be. I also have been thinking of the perfect Christmas present for her and I'm leaning towards jewelry. I know big step huh haha I don't know yet but when I see it, I'll know._

 _Kelly stood up Chuckie, he was an absolute prick and Brenda told me that he was a dick to Steve. I knew he wasn't adorable, he's a complete douche. But at least she got to come to the dance with Steve. Brandon did come and hung out with Andrea by the punch bowl all night. Sometimes I think this two should just do it and get it over with already. I danced the night away with my girl. Definitely copped a feel and stole kisses. And last but certainly not least Donna and David macked the fuck out. No I'm talking full make out. She admitted she liked him, didn't give a shit what we thought about it and got more than friendly with young David. Good for them, like I said he's a good kid._

 _The last thing that happened tonight is Steve decided he was going to go to New Mexico and find his birth mother. I get it I do, I think that it's something that means a lot to him and its something he has to do for himself. I only wish happiness for Steve. I may give him a hard time, I may bitch about the way he is but Steve is a good guy. He deserves some answers but it was sad to see him go. Brenda came over after the dance. We talked about Steve a lot. Bren really cares about her friends, she is a good friend. She is worried but she gets why he is going too. We love Steve. We hope he finds what he is looking for then comes back to us. I will say the night ended on a happy note. Brenda and I made love and it was the first time we ever finished at the same time. It was intense and kind of magical. Fuck I sound like a girl. It was amazing though. Thats never happened to me before. We were in sync, it's comfortable and so fucking hot. Sigh…I hope its always like that. Brenda may be mild mannered on the outside but fuck she's sexy. She enjoys being with me and I enjoy being with her. I guess this is what its like to have sex with someone you love. I like it…no I love it and cumming with Bren is something I hope happens a lot lot more._

 _Dylan_

Eliot palmed her face. _Oh my god…gross_. She looked up just in time to see her parents laughing and kissing and practically dancing past the living room. The first thing she did was roll her eyes and shake her head. Then she thought about Aidan. He was suppose to visit his mom this weekend. Promises was planning a family weekend and he was going to be spending the whole weekend in Malibu. She was getting used to having him around. It was going to be weird him not being here. Maybe it was a good time to bond a little with Byron. Cheer him up a little. She felt like he really needed it. Maybe spend some time with Emma separately. I mean Donna and David forbid Byron from seeing her but not her right? She hoped it wouldn't be weird. Reading about her fathers relationship with the Walsh's seemed to parallel her life a little. Aidan was very much part of her family. She had a feeling no matter what…he always would be…just like her dad was with her family.

 _EEK Eliot has no clue what is to come. None…it should be interesting. Up next we see into Emma and Byron a little. Eliot reads more journals taking us into season 2 Christmas episode. The one with the half heart AWWWW. Plus there is a bunch of non BD episodes coming up like Fire and Ice with the skater and the competitive edge with Brandon finding out about steroids so it will be easy to move through those journals. SOMETHING MAJOR happens. I will not say good or bad but it's MAJOR and will bring a lot of the gang together. Some people you may not have seen much yet too. Hit review people I know not much happening in this chapter. Just some good old fashion BD cuteness and to get through some journals. Expect an update quickly. :) hint hint. Working on it already!_


	32. Chapter 32

_**Chapter 32**_

 _ **If Tomorrow Never Comes**_

Brenda grips the phone, tears running down her cheeks. Her heart beating wildly in her chest, her ears feel like she's under water, sound stopping. An ache she had never in her life felt before radiating through her chest. Silent…stunned…nothing.

"Ma'am? Are you there?"

Brenda blinks, time in slow motion, "Ma'am? Mrs. McKay? Are you still there?"

Then it came back in, like a swoosh. The air in her lungs as she gasped for air, the sound of a neighbor mowing his lawn from afar, the man on the phone calling her name.

"Mrs. McKay? You need to get down here right away."

Brenda stood silent, her phone dropping to the counter. She moved quickly then, in search of her purse. She wanted to collapse but something kept her going. A pull, a fire within the pit of her belly. She grabbed her purse and keys heading to the front door. She ran then she fell.

"Fuck!" she screamed noticing she didn't even have shoes on.

"Bren?" she heard from the distance. Brandon.

Brenda sobbed and squeezed her eyes shut. "What's going on?" Brandon knelt beside her. He had never seen his sister this way.

Brenda looked at her twin brother, aguish covered her face, "Dylan…" was all she got out.

"Come on." He moved his arm around her waist tightly, helping her to her feet. "You need shoes…you can't drive like this…come on." Brandon had no idea what this was about but he knew it was something bad. Something major, by the look on her face and it had to do with Dylan.

Brandon helped Brenda slip on some shoes, thankful she was in jeans and a t-shirt and not her pajamas. He didn't know how he would have dressed her if she wasn't already. She was almost unresponsive. Brandon carefully put Brenda in the passage side of his SUV. She stared out the window as he watched her, walking to the drivers side. He got in and looked over at her.

"Where are we going?" he asks seriously.

She stares not looking over at him, "Cedar Sinai." she whispers, "Brandon?" her voice breaks, "Please drive fast." she whispers again.

Brandon nods once and starts his car. He takes a deep breath not knowing what exactly happened to Dylan. By the looks of Brenda's catatonic state, it wasn't good.

He speeds through town, thankfully getting every green light, silence fills the car but every so often he looks at his sister crying silently, staring out the window. He wants to ask. He wants to know what happened to his brother in law, best friend…is he badly hurt, or worse?

Brandon parks in a 20 minute loading zone, not caring about being longer. Brenda comes too a little as she lets herself out of the car. Brandon has to walk quickly to even catch up with her. All of a sudden Brenda is able and trying to hurry into the hospital. She comes to the front desk and breaths heavy.

"Dylan McKay…he was brought in by ambulance." her tone breathy but strong.

The women looks at her face and quickly types into the computer. She gives them a sympathetic smile, "ICU bed 5. Are you family?"

Brenda sobs out and nods quickly. "Brother-in-law and this is his wife." Brandon speaks for her.

The women nods as well and hands them two family passes and points them to the elevators. They hurry to them and slide in quickly people leaving at the time. As the Walsh twins stare at the closed elevator doors, Brandon reaches for his sisters hand. She holds it tightly back.

"How bad Bren?" Brandon looks at her, tears filling his eyes quickly. He feels blind walking in like this.

Brenda swallows hard finally looking at her brother. Her face scrunches as she sobs and she breaks down. Brandon moves quickly and hugs her as she falls apart. "Bad…Brandon…sounds bad" she cries harder. His hand goes to her head and he cries too. The doors open quickly and Brenda moves first as she rushes the desk.

"Room 5." The women points to the left. Brenda walks quickly and stops suddenly. There through windowed glass doors lies Dylan. Eyes closed, oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, his head turns so slowly sensing her presence. His eyes open just as slow. He blinks long and the right side of his lips turns up in a smile as he sees her. She swallows hard and moves pushing the door open and walks in.

Dylan breaths shallow, almost like it's hard for him. "Baby." he breaths so low it's hard to hear him.

Brenda moves quickly and comes to his bed. She surveys the damage quickly but he's wrapped in blankets and all she sees is a small dried blood cut on his head. Her hand goes to it, then she touches his face as she sits on the hospital bed facing him.

"What happened?" he whispers and takes a short breath.

Brenda breaths out and shakes her head, "They called and said a man found you unconscious in the parking lot of Zuma Beach, the ambulance brought you here. Do you remember anything?" Brenda leans down closer to him, her hand still on his face.

"I went surfing"…Breath…"I was packing"…breath…"the car and my chest…" his hand comes to his chest like it still hurts. "I felt short of breath…and chest…pain. And then nothing."

Brenda cries and her hand moves over his covering his chest.

"Oh baby." Brenda head lays on his chest, Dylan's hand moves slow as it rests on her head, hugging her to him.

"Where…are…the kids."

Brenda's head snaps up as she looks at him, her attention goes to Brandon who is standing silently by the door. Brenda's head shakes like she hadn't even thought of anything but getting here. "I don't even have my phone." Brenda cries mad at herself.

Dylan smiles a little hearing her whine. "I…want to…see…them." His shallow barely breaths continue.

Brenda looks at her husband, tears slide down her face as she sees his expression. She shakes her head, "Don't you dare." she shakes her head more, "Don't." she fears so much and she knows Dylan thinks he is dying…and he wants to see his kids. To say goodbye.

Dylan's hand goes to her face, "baby." he whispers, "Please." he begs.

"I'll call Kelly." Brandon swallows hard and leaves quickly.

Brandon goes into the waiting room and calls Kelly's office.

"Mrs. Walsh." she answers in a profession voice.

"Kel." Brandon sobs out.

"Brandon…what's wrong?" she stands from her desk. She hadn't talked to Brandon in a while but she knows her husband isn't a crier.

"I'm at Cedar with Bren." he squeezes his eyes shut and sobs, "Get Eliot and Byron out of class. Bring them down here as soon as possible. Dylan. Something happened to Dylan."

"What?" Kelly breaths, "What happened?" her voice peaks higher.

Brandon shakes his head, "I don't know Kel but it's not good. Heart Attack maybe, he barely can breath but he's awake and asking for them, Kelly?" He squeezes his eyes shut, "It doesn't look good baby."

"Oh my god…ok…I'm coming now." Kelly hurries and grabs her purse. "Tell him they're coming."

Brandon nods.

He hits end on his phone and looks into Dylan's room. He walks slowly coming to the doorway. He hears his sister crying, her face close to his. She's hysterical and shaking her head every now and then while Dylan whispers to her. "Promise me." he breaths.

"I'm not going to promise you Dylan because you aren't going anywhere." she cries to him.

"Please." he breaths low.

"I promise." she nods, voice barely over a whisper, she shakes her head again, "Don't you leave me…please Dylan…please…don't"

"I love you Brenda." he breaths, his hand coming to her face again.

"Our story isn't done yet." she cries, "It's not. I can't do this without you. We had a deal…do you remember? A deal to go together."

"I remember." he breaths, "I'm sorry baby." his chest rises and falls quickly. He is really struggling to breath.

"Mrs. McKay?" Brenda's head turns towards the doctor in the room. "Do you have a minute?"

Brenda nods and looks at her husband. She gets up and gently kisses his forehead. Dylan's eyes close as she follows the doctor out into the hallway. Dylan looks at Brandon.

"Brandon?" he breaths,

"Yeah brother." Brandon moves closer, he takes his hand tightly.

"The kids coming?" Dylan's eyes close again then open and he looks into Brandon's.

Brandon swallows hard and nods once, "Kelly is bringing them now."

"Kelly." he breaths "Work it out…Bran. Tell her you love…her."

Brandon swallows hard again. Tears fill his eyes quickly. "Talk to her…she loves…you."

Brandon squeezes his hand and gives him a nod. "Take care of your sister Brandon. My kids…they're gonna need…you." he whispers.

Brandon shakes his head, "It's not like you to give up man. We're not ready to say goodbye to you."

Dylan squeezes Brandon's hand, "You're my brother…you've always been my brother. My best friend. Please…Brandon." Dylan closes his eyes as a single tears runs down the side of his face, "Take care of my girl."

Brandon breaks down, he nods over and over, "I will." his voice breaking. Brandon leans down and hugs him and cries harder. Dylan's eyes close as he pats his back.

"Your husband suffered a Pulmonary embolism, it occurs when a blood clot gets lodged in an artery in the lung, blocking blood flow to part of the lung. He's on oxygen right now and we are treating him with blood thinners. I've talked to him and he doesn't want to do the procedure."

"Why?" Brenda looks into the glass doors and sees her brother hugging Dylan.

"He wants to be awake. When we got him here, and he came too the first thing he asked was for you. He wanted you and his children here to say goodbye, he doesn't think he'll make the surgery."

Brenda closes her eyes. "Your husband has a DNR but you are his power of attorney. He took a hit to the head, when he passed out. As of now the brain looks fine, no bleeding but…he was talking a little odd and we don't think he can make his own medical decision as of now."

"What do you mean?" Brenda crosses her arms curiously.

"Mrs. McKay…who's Jack?"

"What?" she breaths.

"He was talking to a Jack, telling him to wait, he wasn't ready yet without saying goodbye to his family."

Brenda eyes closed as tears ran down her face. "Jack…is his dad. He died a few years ago."

The physician nods and gives her a smile. "He is on opioids, I'll dial them down a bit. I think we can help him. He has 2 clots in his lungs, one in each. I fear if we don't go in there and do the procedure they'll go to his heart and that could be fatal. His vitals aren't great. Blood pressure is dropping. His oxygen is really low. He can't breath without the oxygen right now. Will you give us permission to do the procedure?"

Brenda looks into her husbands room again. She nods, "Just…let him see his kids. Okay? I'll talk to him."

The doctor nods and walks away as Brenda walks closer to Dylan's room. She opens the door and their eyes meet. She smiles a sad smile at him. His eyes close heavily and her hand goes to his face, "Sleep baby…I'll wake you when the kids get here."

He nods once and falls asleep.

Brenda looks at Brandon. She motions her head to the hallway. He follows her silently.

"I can't believe this." Brenda breaths out, "He suffered a pulmonary embolism. 2 blood clots in the lungs, thats why it's hard for him to breathe. They want to do a procedure to remove the clots. The blood thinners aren't working."

"Then…lets do it." Brandon crosses his arm and nods.

Brenda looks into the room, "Dylan said no, he told the doctor he won't make it through surgery but the doctor is concerned he won't make it without it and he was talking to Jack."

Brandon's eyes brows furrow. "But…Jack's dead?"

Brenda looks at her brother, tears in her eyes, "I know. You know you hear about people seeing the white light…and family members coming to bring you to heaven."

"Brenda…come on."

"Bran…what are the fucking odds?" she whispers, "Jack fucking Jack?" she clinches her teeth, "He can't fucking have him." Brandon pulls her into him, and hugs her tightly. Brenda breaks down. "I can't live without him." she breaths. Brandon nods against her head and places a gentle kiss on her head.

"I know Bren…I know."

Kelly slams on steering wheel letting out a long honk of her horn, "Fucking asshole move." she yells.

"Aunt Kelly?"

"Yeah By?" She looks into the back seat then at Eliot in the passenger seat.

"What's going on with my dad?"

Kelly shakes her head, "Your uncle didn't know much, heart attack maybe. He's asking for you though." Kelly hits her hand on the steering wheel again, causing Eliot to jump.

"Is he gonna die?" She asks tears in her voice.

Kelly's face frowns as she looks at Eliot, "No sweetie. The doctors are taking good care of him right now."

"I just want to get there." Byron says from the back seat.

"I know." Kelly growls frustrated, "I hate LA sometimes." she shakes her head and wipes a tear quickly. "Fucking traffic. Sorry…don't tell your parents I'm cussing in front of you."

Eliot sniffs and chuckles, "They cuss all the time."

Kelly smiles at her. Her hand comes to her face, "True." the car laughs a little wiping their tears. Just then the roads open up and Kelly is finally moving again. "Fuck me were moving."

Byron smiles and shakes his head, "Bout fucking time."

Kelly laughs through her tears and she hits the gas.

Brenda sits with Dylan, "Baby?" Dylan's eyes open slowly. "We're gonna do that procedure."

He shakes his head. "Dylan…don't be stubborn right now. We have to try to save you. The doctors don't think you'll survive if we don't."

"I…won't…survive…that surgery. I'll never wake up."

"Baby." Brenda is stern.

"Brenda." Dylan's voice comes out stronger, then he struggles with catching his breath. "Let me go baby." he breaths.

She shakes her head, "No." her hands grip his hospital gown, "I will never let you go, you're suppose to wait for me, we had a deal."

"My fathers here." Dylan looks past her, it makes Brenda look in back of her, seeing nothing.

"Well…then good…he'll hear me say to fuck off." Dylan chuckles but really it's just a grunt.

"He likes you…he's…always liked you."

Brenda smiles, "I like him too…but not right now."

Dylan grunts out a laugh again. He stares at her. He reaches up and takes the oxygen mask off his face, pushing it under his chin.

"Dylan…what are you doing?" Brenda says alarmed as she reaches for it.

"Come here." Dylan gasps for air. "Kiss…me." he barely gets out.

Brenda stands and hovers over him. She looks into his eyes as her hand comes to his face. She leans in and takes his lips to hers. Dylan inhales her breath, then deepens the kiss. He slides his tongue into her mouth gently, Brenda closes her eyes and kisses him back. The kiss is slow and so gentle, like a whisper of wind, but just as passionate as they always are. Then loud beeps sound out making Brenda jump from him. She grabs the mask and sets it back on Dylan's mouth. He takes 2 big breaths and the color comes back to his face.

"Jesus Dylan." Brenda shakes her head at his small smirk.

"So…worth it." he breaths and Brenda laughs with tears streaming down her face.

"Mom? Dad?" Brenda gets up quickly and wipes her face. Eliot and Byron then look at their dad.

"Come in guys, he's been asking for you." The kids rush in and go to their dads side. Brenda looks at Kelly, both women in tears, "Thank you." she mouths and Kelly nods moving towards her as they hug tightly.

"Oh Bren…how is he?" Kelly leans out but keep her hands on her arms.

Brenda looks towards her family and then back at Kelly, she shakes her head, "It's not good. Come on…let's leave them for a few." Brenda sobs out, "I don't think I can…" Kelly nods knowing her kids are possibly saying goodbye to their father and Brenda can't watch it. Kelly and Brenda walk out into the hallway arms around each other. Brenda watches Brandon make eye contact with her. He crumbles as Kelly runs to him. They hug for a long time. Kelly placing kisses against his face and head. "It's ok." she whispers comforting him. Brenda watches them, then her eyes go towards Dylan, Eliot and Byron as she stares at them through the glass.

"My babies." Dylan breaths as he looks at Byron, then Eliot.

Eliot sits next to her dad, "We're here daddy." tears flow freely. Byron sobs out as he sits on the other side of him.

"I love…you both…so much." Dylan reaches for Eliot's hand, then Byron's. They grip it back tightly.

"We know daddy, We love you too."

"You…and your mom…was the best…thing…that ever…happened to me."

Byron and Eliot nod silently and listen.

"When you guys were born, I have never felt happiness like that before. Eliot…" Dylan breaths, "You were an angel. You had these huge eyes. I told your mom you were an old soul. Those brown eyes held so much curiosity and wisdom from the moment you opened them. You are my little girl…my princess. You're beautiful…like your mom…so stubborn…like your mom." Eliot cries harder but smiles at him, "You make me proud everyday. You are so smart, so loyal, you're perfect…finish the book El…read it through…and write the ending. Finish my story Eliot…please, finish me and your moms story."

Eliot nods quickly, "I will." she says through her tears.

"By." Dylan squeezes his hand as he looks to him. "You are my rock. My best friend. My little buddy…When you were little…you used to cry for your mom. I was afraid you weren't gonna ever like me. You only wanted her…then…your first word was da da and I cried for week."

Byron wiped his face quickly. "You have grown to be the sweetest…gentlest boy. Always taking care…of your sister and your mom. I'm proud of the man…you've become. Don't give up on Emma…fight…everyday for her. Don't give up on your first love. I didn't." Byron squeezed his eyes shut, tears flowing freely as he gave his father a nod.

"I love you both so much…you were my greatest gift besides your mom. Take care of her. Byron…Eliot…take care of your mom." Dylan closes his eyes and tries to take a couple breaths.

Byron and Eliot break down as they lay on Dylan's chest. Dylan slowly brings both arms around them. He rests his hand on Byron…then Eliot. He takes a deep breath and sobs out allowing himself to cry with his kids. He isn't ready to leave them.

Brenda walks in and breaks down seeing the sight in front of her. Dr. White behind her.

"Mr. McKay…we're gonna take you into surgery now."

Dylan looks at Brenda, as the kids move out of the way. He nods, "Give me a second with my wife." he breaths. The doctor nods and both kids walk into the hallway. The automatic glass doors close as they watch. Brandon holds Eliot as she breaks down, Kelly holding Byron as he cries hard.

Brenda goes and sits next to Dylan, "Surgery? Bren?"

Brenda breaks down but moves close to him, "I have to try."

"I know." Dylan breaths. "I'd do the same…for you." He lifts his hand and pushes back her hair. His fingers graze her cheek, her lips, "I remember how seeing the shape of your mouth that first time, I kept staring until my blood turned to rain. Somethings take root in the brain…and just…don't let go."

Brenda's eyes closed and she cries hard, "Brenda…don't cry baby…look at me."

She opened her eyes and stares into his. "You are my best friend, my one true love, the mother of my children…my soulmate…my first and last and forever love." Brenda cries even harder, "You were you, and I was I. We were two before our time." Dylan gasps for breath.

The doctor comes in then, "Alright Mr. McKay…let's do this." Brenda gets up as they begin to wheel him towards the door. She moves with it staying close to him.

Brenda's hand comes to his face, "I was yours, before I knew, and you have always been mine too." She whispers to him finishing their love poem. She moves the oxygen mask off his mouth and kisses him gently. Dylan's hand coming to the back of her head deepening it. They pressed their foreheads together, "I love you Brenda." he whispers against her lips, "Forever."

Brenda closes her eyes as she sobs out loud, "I love you Dylan…for always." she leans away as he grabs her hand. She holds it staring into his eyes.

"My Annabel…Lee." He whispers as his mask is moved over his mouth.

Brenda shakes her head, "Don't..leave me…I can't…do it. Come back to me. Dylan…don't." She whisper cries barely able to breath herself. "I need you." The sound of sobs are heard from the whole family around them, walking with them. Brenda leans down and whispers into his ear, "Fight baby. This isn't it. This is not where our story ends."

Dylan squeezes her hand tightly and nods so subtly, he slowly raises his hand and holds it to her face. She tightens her hand in his and sets the other one over his on her face. They stay that way until they round the corner and he is forced to…let go. She stares at the OR doors as they close, her hand coming to her chest. Her kids move to either side of her. She embraces them tightly as all three of them break down.

Brandon looks around the waiting room. Valerie is crying quietly holding on to Alyssa. He looks at Eliot as she wipes the tears from her face, holding on to her fathers book. Byron is bawling, Emma holding him, consoling him. Steve and Janet console their son Stevie. David holds Donna as she stares into nothing. Nate and Aidan quietly sitting staring off. The silence is deafening. His eyes move to his sister. She is sitting alone, gently rocking herself absently looking at the ground. Tears fill his eyes as he looks down. They are all waiting, some talking quietly, some crying quietly, some just staring off into space. He sniffs quickly and is on the verge of breaking down when he feels Kelly's hand on his leg. He looks at her and takes her hand in his. His gaze moves to Brenda as she gets up. Everyones attention focuses on her.

"Brenda…can I get you something…coffee anything?" Kelly asks getting up.

Brenda shakes her head as she paces a few times. "I just want to know what's going on." she says quietly.

Valerie gets up, "I'll go check."

Brenda stares at the wall, "He didn't want the surgery…what if he was right? What if the last time I saw my husband alive was before this surgery…when I could be with him now?"

Brandon gets up quickly, "You had to try Bren…he knew that."

Brenda walks to the window and stares out of it. "I've been thinking about every moment…every instance, every detail of our life together and for the life of me I can't remember his smell right now. Why?" Brenda turns and looks around the group. "Why can't I remember it? I just saw him." She looks panicked and quickly Brandon feels anxious, twin feelings feeding off her energy.

Brandon moves to her, "Bren…sit down. Take deep breaths."

"I DON'T WANT TO SIT DOWN!" Brenda screams, "I want Dylan…I want Dylan right here…with me. I want to touch him and hold him and FUCKING SMELL HIM!"

Sobs break out around the private waiting room watching Brenda break down. Brandon embraces her tightly. "WHY? Why is this happening?" Brandon squeezes her tighter, "Braaaaaan." she cries in a heartbreakingly sad howl. "I can't live without him." She whales. "I don't know who I am without him." Brenda cries loudly, her eyes close as she sinks to the ground. Brandon tried to hold her up he kneels down to her, his hand on her back as she cries loudly. "I don't know who I am." she whispers. Byron moves fluidly and sits next to her on the ground and takes his mom into his arms. She clings to him as she cries.

Valerie stands in the doorway holding a plastic bag. She is crying hard watching Brenda on the ground with her son. She has heard her break down. She goes over and touches her arm helping her off the ground, Brandon doing the same for Byron. Brenda looks at Valerie.

"No…news yet…but they gave me Dylan's things." Brenda's eyes look down at the bag. She takes it from her. She moves to the chair she was sitting in earlier taking out Dylan's flannel, he must have been wearing this morning. She moves it to her nose, inhaling deeply. Her eyes close.

"I remember now." she whispers as she breathes Dylan's scent in deeply. Everyone watches her as she calms now…taking his flannel and wrapping it around her shoulders. She leans back in her chair. Her head leaning against the wall behind her. She brings the sleeve to her nose and holds it there closing her eyes.

Two hours have gone by, Cindy and Jim have joined the group now. Iris and Erica on their way in from Hawaii are due in the morning. Brenda gets up now holding Dylan's flannel as the doctor comes in. Everyone following, all eyes on him.

"Mrs. McKay?" Brenda steps forward.

He motions his head and Brenda follows him out into the hallway. Brandon follows but stays back. He is afraid of the doctors somber expression and he isn't sure how his sister will handle any bad news.

"The procedure went well. We were able to clear the clots. We don't know if his oxygen level is improving yet because he is intubated. When he comes out of anesthesia we'll see if his breathing improves."

"That's good though…that you got the clots?" Brenda holds the flannel absently to her chest.

"It is but."

"There is a but?"

"His blood pressure is being stabilized by medication. It dropped twice during surgery. A significant drop. Low blood pressure causes an inadequate flow of blood to the body's organs and it can cause strokes, heart attacks, and kidney failure. We are watching it and keeping him sedated."

Brenda looks down and cries softly. Brandon moves and hugs her. "I'll let you know when he is out of recovery, then we will move him back to the ICU. I'm sorry Mrs. McKay. We are doing everything to save your husband." The doctor sadly walks away as Brenda cries in Brandon's arms.

"He knew." she whispers. "He knew he wouldn't wake up."

"Bren…stop you don't know that. This procedure might have saved his life."

"It might have made other problems too."

Brandon silently consoles her as Kelly walks out, "Bren." she whispers.

"The kids…" Brenda looks in and sees her kids holding each other and sobbing thinking the worst.

"Can you fill in the group Bran? Um…I'm gonna go for a walk." Brenda out of it pushes her arms though Dylan's flannel and begins walking down the hallway. Brandon exhales and moves into the waiting room to fill the gang in on Dylan's condition.

Brenda walks for while, she stops in the hospital chapel and lights a candle. The fresh air helped a little, but she didn't want to be gone too long in case Dylan was brought into his room. She made her way back to the waiting room. She peaks in and hears Eliot reading out loud from her book. She pushes the door and walks in staring at Eliot.

Eliot looks up at her mother and stops. "I'm sorry…I…read this journal entry earlier and I just…I'm sorry. I know it's private." She looks down.

Brenda walks over and sits, "No…read it…go ahead."

Eliot swallows hard and opens the book to where she left off.

She begins out loud…

 _December 24, 1991_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _It's Christmas eve and you can feel it in the air. People pushing each other on the side walk, fighting over parking spaces to go buy presents they can't even afford. Everyone has lost the Christmas spirit, if they even knew what it truly was about to begin with. But you know who hasn't lost the Christmas spirt my Bren."_

Eliot looks to her mom and smiles. Brenda smiles a sad smile back, she continues…

 _Two days ago I went to the Walsh's to decorate their tree. It was a funky green color because Brandon spray painted it._

Brandon looks down and smiles, the Walsh's chuckle. Everyone smiles and looks down.

 _It is their first Christmas in Beverly Hills, and we forgot to tell them that the longer they wait to get a tree, the more likely they will be dead. Cindy is having a hard time with not having a white Christmas this year., but Brandon has a little plan for her The biggest bummer about everything is that Cindy wants to start new traditions here. With family and friends all spending the holiday together. Donna is going skiing in Mammoth this year, Kelly is spending a family Christmas with David, her mom and his dad and I had to look at the sad face from my girl when I told her I was planning to spend Christmas with my dad._

Brenda cries a little and looks down. Thinking about Jack's ghost and how many times his name has been brought up today. Eliot doesn't stop.

 _It's his first Christmas in jail and I can't bare the thought of him being in there alone. So Brenda has gotten a job which she is enjoying very much. She works at a trendy little boutique on Rodeo. I went before my drive up to the jail so I can properly tell her good bye and give her her Christmas present. She greeted me with a smile and was pleasantly surprised to see me. She had thought I had left already. Silly girl…I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. It was totally unprofessional to kiss her at work but…who cares. I gave her her present. She opened it there. I gave her a gold half heart pendant. She asked me where the other half was and I showed her it's with me. The truth is I gave Brenda my heart a long time ago. It seemed fitting to each have a half of it. Now we both have each others heart._

Brenda sniffed causing Eliot to stop, "I'm sorry mom…I can stop."

Brenda shook her head, "No please…keep going."

 _She loved it of course and she loves me. I know she does, she shows me everyday. And I love her too. Some bitchy woman started hounding her about after Christmas sales. So we wished each other a Merry Christmas and I headed to go meet my dad. No one has heard from Steve. He has been gone for 4 days and I have really started to worry about him. I'll always be here for Steve whatever he finds out there but I do hope he remembers he has a family here too. Us…the gang._

Steve smiles and looks down touched.

 _Brandon had visited Emily Valentine._

Kelly rolls her eyes and sighs playfully. Brandon laughs and winks at her.

 _You can't blame Brandon, poor girl is in an institution for god sakes. She shouldn't be alone on Christmas too. The funny part is he gave her a present. His prize Minnesota Twins jersey. She always wanted that thing so bad. It's his favorite shirt. And I think it was nice of Brandon to give it to her. We all signed a card for her and wished her a Merry Christmas. I hope Emily is finding peace and the help she needs in there. We all hope the best for her._

 _Then it comes to my dad. He was truly surprised to see me. He thought I hated him. The truth was I don't hate him. Part of me wanted to leave him alone in there like he did to me all those times. I was left with the maid for Christmas while he was in the Bahamas or skiing or off somewhere with whatever girl he was with at that moment. But the truth is I couldn't leave him hanging. Because I remembered how much it hurt and I just couldn't do it. He said that jail reminds him of being a monk because all he does is think…read…eat bad food…and he always thought people like Iris who meditated were weak and now he does it. He also thinks about me and what a strong son he has. He told me that he thinks I'm strong because I'm alone in the world like he was. But the truth is…I'm not alone. I have great friends, the Walsh's, who have opened up their home to me. Bren. He asked if I still was going out with her. I told him I was, He was a little surprised by that. I have never had a long term relationship before. He knows Brenda is special. He got up and told me to go have Christmas with her. To never keep a beautiful girl waiting. To go make myself happy. He wasn't alone anymore. He had me. And I had given the best Christmas present just by visiting him. So I made my way to where I really wanted to be. With my family._

Brenda smiled and looked at her parents. Tears filled Cindy's eyes and Jim wrapped his arm around her.

 _The best part was when I got to the Walsh's they greeted me with open arms and a Merry Christmas and as I walked into the living room everyone was there. Donna said Mammoth had no snow. Kelly and Jackie had joined the Walsh's, Jackie having a big fight with Mel but they were all there. All made up. Donna and David kissed under the mistletoe…They are so cute together. I know that sounds odd coming from me but they are. Innocent and sweet and new. Donna is a great girl and from what I have seen of David he is an equally awesome guy. They deserve each other. No matter what the rules are of West Bev and dating a younger guy._

Donna looked at David. Guilt flowed through her. They hadn't talked to Brenda or Dylan in over a week and now they weren't sure if Dylan was even going to be okay. it was stupid they were family, they had always been family.

Donna looks at Brenda, they lock eyes. Brenda nods accepting her silent apology. Donna would give a real one but right in this moment…it wasn't necessary.

 _Brenda invited a homeless man…well maybe he wasn't we don't really know where he came from. He lost his wife last year and had lost the Christmas spirit. He decided to go and try to find it and here in LA it could be a hard thing to find. He said he had almost given up until Brenda invited an old man home for Christmas dinner. Brenda has an amazing heart. I humbled to even be in her life. Nat came by. Steve showed up, which made Kelly's night…I knew she was worried about him. The Christmas spirit was all around us and I knew why. It was the Walsh's they brought everyone together. They made you remember that it didn't matter what plans you might have had…you were always welcome there. It made me think…someday when I have kids…if I ever have kids…those are the kind of traditions I want to carry on. Who knows…maybe Donna and David will come with their kids, Me and Bren with a small army of our own. Maybe Steve will meet some smart gorgeous woman with the power to calm his girl crazy ways._

Eliot smiled at Steve as he wrapped his arm around Janet.

 _Andrea might marry a doctor or lawyer and maybe even be one herself. And maybe Kelly will find a guy like Brandon. Secure and warm. Someone who takes care of her. a straight shooter._

Eliot looked at her uncle and aunt. She held the book and kept reading.

 _Shit maybe it will be Brandon…who knows. All our kids around the tree, singing carols and eating Cindy's delicious turkey. I mean anything is possible. I didn't think it was possible for me to change. To be so crazy about a girl, that I would want to spend everyday with. That a family as wholesome and sweet as the Walsh's would invite me into their life and give me everything that I missed in my childhood. And I would enjoy it. I know I'm not the only one out of this group that thinks so. It was an amazing Christmas and for the first time…we all had a Walsh family Christmas. I have a feeling…there will be many more to come._

 _Merry Christmas._

 _Dylan_

Eliot looked up and looked around at the group. Everyone saddened with sad smiles on their faces. They thanked her for sharing. The mood still solemn as they thought about Dylan.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost Dylan." Brenda spoke quietly. "Listening to that…just brings back so many memories." Brenda smiled sadly, "Everything he saw in our future came true. And the funniest part he is the one that pushes for these traditions. He is the one that makes sure everyone has an invite to our home. I mean we might have invented the Walsh Family Christmas but…Dylan has been keeping these traditions alive for years. I can't imagine doing any of it without him."

Everyone sat silent. thinking about Brenda's words. The truth in them. How much of a family man Dylan had become. All because he had a family of his own. In that moment none of them knew how life would be without Dylan…and none of them wanted to find out.

 _UGH ok…I'm sooooo soooo sorry. it's gonna be a little emotional for a little while. After Luke Perry died this idea came to me for this story. Some of my readers said it was too soon, some said no don't it's too real. Some said do NOT have Dylan have a stroke and that one I agreed with. I tried to postpone it. Please don't hate me and TRUST me please. You know how I feel about Brenda and Dylan. And I think after everything is said and done you'll see the point and you'll be okay with everything. Have faith. So NOT done yet. Please hit review…I want to know if it was emotional, if it was sad enough, if it made any fucking sense…Love you guys. Trust in me. :)_


	33. Chapter 33

_I'm sorry I made people cry with the last one. WARNING…may cause tears, read at work at your own accord!_

 _ **Chapter 33**_

 _ **Love You Home**_

Brenda sat in the chair next to Dylan's hospital bed. He had been taken there after recovery. He still was intubated which Brenda knew wasn't a good thing. He had machines still helping him breath. The doctors claimed that they were trying not to have him work to hard. They continued to have Dylan on blood thinners to prevent more clots, his blood pressure was still low, systolic they called it. Which meant it was dangerously low in the 90's. And they had wanted to start him on dialysis because Dylan's kidneys were showing failure. The kids didn't want to leave but Brenda insisted that she would call if anything changed and to go get some rest, it wasn't very comfortable to sleep in a chair. Brandon brought them home for her. Everyone had eventually gone home. Brandon promised he would keep everyone informed also. Only family was allowed in to see Dylan anyway which technically on paper only included, Brenda, Eliot, Byron, Brandon and Kelly. Nate and Alyssa were even pushing it. Since the hospital counted brothers and sisters as immediate family, they didn't know that it was all by marriage. Brenda moved from her chair and sat on the hospital bed, she took his hand. Her thumb caressing it. Her finger grazed over where his wedding ring should be, they had taken all his belonging off of him on arrival. She smiled when she saw he had a tan line. He always wore it. Even surfing probably why he had a tan line to begin with. She reached up and held his ring which she added to her diamond pendant chain Dylan had gotten her for their 10 year anniversary. She wanted it close to her and she didn't want to lose it. She held it in between her fingers, it was titanium and it felt cold between her fingers. Brenda looked at his face. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling with the machine. A tube coming from his mouth, taped in place. She got up a little leaning in and kissing his forehead, his cheek, his eyelid. Her hand lay on one side of his face as she rested her cheek on his.

"Come back to me baby…please." She breathed into his ear. No movement no anything just the sound of beeps and the breathing machine. She cried and kissed him again.

"I waited so long for you to come back to me. To tell me you were mine, to tell me you still loved me and now I don't know what it's like without you."

She inhaled a quiet sob, "You are my rock Dylan. I know I can't do this without you, I don't want to do this without you." A loud sob left her lips and she cried into his neck. She was alone now and she couldn't help breaking down. The possibility of losing Dylan was too much. Everything was too much.

A nurse cleared her voice as she made her way in.

Brenda leaned up and wiped her face. She felt a little embarrassed she was ugly crying so loudly and got caught doing it.

She checked a few things on the monitor as Brenda looked at her shyly.

"I'm sorry." Brenda whispered as she wiped her nose and looked at the ceiling trying to contain herself.

The nurse looked at her sympathetically, "You don't have to apologize sweetie." She looked at the monitor again.

"Everything okay with him?" Brenda looks at the blonde.

She smiles a sad smile at her and nods.

"Much the same." Brenda looks back at her husband. Did she has always loved this man. Even if she didn't want to, she always did.

"Have you ever seen a more handsome man?" Brenda smiles as she looks at him.

The nurse chuckles, "Well…my Robert is pretty handsome but Mr. McKay here is a looker."

Brenda smiled sadly thinking of him well and awake. "How long have you been married?" The nurse asks as she checks his IV.

"15 years." Brenda didn't take her eyes off Dylan.

The nurse smiled, "Wow…when did you meet?"

"In high school…16 years old, 27 years ago." Brenda sighed, sometimes she didn't believe it either.

The nurse looked at her. "That's a long time."

Brenda wiped a tear that had ran down her cheek as she nodded.

"It sure is. God it feels like yesterday too."

She looks at her and holds out her hand, "I'm Brenda."

The nurse smiles at her and meet her hand with hers giving it a shake, "Anna."

"Nice to meet you." Brenda let go and took Dylan's hand again.

"You going to go to sleep soon?" Anna asked.

Brenda shakes her head, "I don't think I can."

"Well…Mr. McKay is my only patient so far for the night. Do you want to help me clean him up a bit?" Brenda looks at her and smiles a little.

"Sure." She agrees.

Minutes later Brenda and Anna wipe the dried blood from Dylan's head. Down his arms, his legs as Anna put fresh socks on his feet. Brenda moves the sponge across his chest and down his stomach. She laughs out loud. Tears streaming her face.

Anna looks up curiously.

"I'm sorry." Brenda laughs, "If Dylan was awake right now he'd make some…inappropriate joke about a pretty blonde nurse and me giving him a sponge bath. I'd smack him in the chest and pout and be mad at him and he'd wrap his arms around me and kiss my head and tell me he was kidding. Even though he would be loving this I'm sure." Brenda shakes her head, "God what you think about in these times. I'd let him flirt with anything in a skirt if he'd come back to me."

Anna gave her a small smile.

"It's just weird you know. I can't remember never loving him, its hard to think about being in life without him." Brenda looked up at her.

Anna's heart broke. "I understand." She said softly.

Anna moves up to his side. "You know…Brenda…I've been doing this a while and we see so many things and people come in here. None of us want to see a 43 year old man in ICU. The doctors are good here. They are doing everything they can."

"I know." Brenda nods and moves the sponge over Dylan again. "What if I made the wrong decision? What if we had waited a little longer for the blood thinners to work."

"I've seen his chart Brenda. He wouldn't be alive if they didn't get the clots and do the procedure."

Brenda nodded trying to believe that. They finished up and put Dylan in a fresh gown.

"If you need anything Brenda…just let me know." Anna said nicely.

Brenda looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

"Annabel…do you mind helping in room 3?" An older nurse peaked in and asked as Anna nodded.

Brenda froze, "You're name is Annabel?" She looks at Dylan, _fucking Poe…sweet jerk._

"Yeah." Anna laughs uncomfortable. "Annabel Lee Doyle." Brenda looks at her as she leaves to help the other nurse.

She held his hand again, "What are the fucking odds." She whispers caressing his hand with her thumb.

Brenda lays her head on his arm and she entertains his hand with hers and closes her eyes.

" _Brandon can't you ever shut the door…you know it's hot enough in here already." Brenda said frustrated as she stared at the closed shower curtain._

 _It eased open and Dylan McKay stared back at her, "Sorry." His voice smooth, his eyes traveling down checking her out._

 _Brenda's eyes looked down. He held the shower curtain over his waist. It was frosted so not see through but you could see the shadow of what he was covering. She licked her lips, she couldn't help herself. She smiled and nodded absently. She walked out giving him some privacy and she held her smirk. Kelly would die, she just caught Dylan in the shower._

" _You keep popping up on me today." Brenda said as she took a deep breath._

 _Dylan reached down and turned off the water. "Yeah." He got out and started to dry off. "So you say you're into video tape huh?"_

 _Brenda nodded, "Yeah I like movies."_

" _Ever seen Animal Crackers? You know? The Marx Brothers?"_

" _Yeah…I think so…on TV."_

" _It's so much better on the big screen." Dylan dried his wet hair, towel around his waist as he walked into the doorway of Brenda's room, "Too bad you're on duty tonight or you can see what I mean." He looked at her, eating her up. Brenda looked back at him and swallowed hard looking back at him. He looked hot wet, well Dylan McKay looked hot anytime but he looked exceptionally hot dripping wet. He smelled clean and masculine._

" _Well actually…my plans got poxed."_

 _Dylan's eyes traveled down looked at her again, "You want to come along?"_

" _Yeah." Brenda nodded with a smirk._

 _Dylan smirked back and nodded again. His eyes looked down shyly before they raised to meet hers. He nodded trying to act cool and collected but inside he jumped for joy. A wide smile spread across his face as he turned into the bathroom again as he continued drying off. Brenda turned away from him a wide smile spreading quickly across her face as well as she realized Dylan McKay had just invited her to a movie. Not that it was a real date or anything, she was just tagging along._

 _*flash*_

 _Brenda stood in front of her full length mirror in her and Dylan's apartment bedroom. She turned to the side her eyes widening as she looked at herself standing only in her bra and underwear._

 _Dylan smirked as he leaned against the doorway. "Damn." He whistled shaking his head as he walked in. Brenda's wide eyes looking at him._

" _Right? It's Huuuuge!" She looked down at her pregnant belly again._

 _Dylan laughed, "That's not what I meant babe."_

 _Brenda looked back into the mirror, "But it is…it's so weird." Her hand ran along her belly. "I'm so small normally…how can two of them fit in there?"_

" _Magic." Dylan smiled as he climbed into bed. "Come here." He whispered as he looked her up and down._

 _Brenda ran her hand over her large belly again exhaling, she turned towards Dylan, placing both hands on either side of her lower back and waddled to bed. Dylan smiled at the sight. She climbed into bed, slightly sitting up, her panties below her belly._

" _God…I'm disgusting." She looked down at her full breasts practically coming out of her bra and her rounded belly sticking out._

 _Dylan's hand came to it. He rubbed it slowly and shook his head, "You're not…it's beautiful."_

 _Brenda rolled her eyes and let him rub her pregnant belly like a buddha, "I can't even see my vagina anymore."_

 _Dylan laughed out loud, "I see it." He wiggled his eyebrows at her._

" _I'm sure you do. Laugh now…soon I'll be asking you to help me shave it."_

 _Dylan laughed out loud again, "Gladly. No wait…leave it…it's natural. Kind of hot."_

 _Brenda giggled, "You're so gross."_

 _Dylan sat up a little and shrugged, "Hey it's like the old days. When hair was in."_

" _Ok 80's bush man…no…you'll help me right? I can't deliver like this."_

 _Dylan smiled and nodded, "Always." He leaned down and gently kissed her exposed belly. Dylan sat next to her and grabbed his book and opened it up._

" _What are we gonna name them? We have 4 weeks left and I don't think it's gonna stretch anymore."_

" _I don't know…maybe we should wait to see them. At least know the sex?"_

'" _Maybe." Brenda took a deep breath and looked over at Dylan who began to read quietly. "What are you reading tonight?"_

" _Byron." He said quietly not looking up from his book._

" _Can you read it to us?" Brenda smiled her hand on her belly._

 _Dylan smiled and moved. He lay on his stomach across their queen bed as he set the book in her lap. He spoke close to her stomach as he read._

 _By those tresses unconfined,_

 _Woo'd by each Aegean wind;_

 _By those lids whose jetty fringe_

 _Kiss thy soft cheeks' blooming tinge;_

 _By those wild eyes like the roe,_

 _My life, I love you_

 _By that lip I long to taste;_

 _By that zone-encircled waist;_

 _By all the token-flowers that tell_

 _What words can never speak so well;_

 _By love's alternate joy and woe,_

 _My life, I love you_

 _Maid of Athens! I am gone:_

 _Think of me, sweet! when alone._

 _Though I fly to Istambol,_

 _Athens holds my heart and soul:_

 _Can I cease to love thee? No!_

 _My life, I love you._

 _Brenda closed her eyes and smiled. "I like Byron."_

" _He is me and I am him." Dylan got up tossing his book onto his end table._

" _No…I mean for a name…for a boy, is that too weird?" She made a cute face._

 _Dylan looked at her, "Hmm. Not at all, I like that."_

" _You do?" She smiled back at him._

" _Yeah." He leaned in and kissed her softly. He groaned a little as Brenda pulled away. She sat up a bit reaching behind her unsnapping her bra and letting the girls loose._

 _Dylan stared at them and absently licked his lips. Brenda laughed and shook her head. As she lay besides him and looked into his eyes. Dylan reached up cupping one of her breasts and Brenda closed her eyes._

" _God…that feels nice." She whispered. "We haven't had sex in a long time."_

" _I know don't remind me." He whispered back looking down at her full breasts as he gently kneaded them._

 _Brenda looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry…I don't even know how that would be possible?" She looked down at her large belly and looked into his eyes. He saw her sadness right away. "I can't even keep you satisfied and happy."_

 _Dylan smiled and shook his head, "Come on Bren…I am happy. You know I don't care about that. I love you. We'll have sex again you know. They won't be in there forever." He joked._

" _I want too now. But every position is uncomfortable. I almost asked my mother." Brenda closed her eyes and laughed. "But I chickened out cause I knew she'd know from experience and then I'd die of." She pretended to gag._

 _Dylan laughed a little, his hand came to her face as he gently caressed it. "Ew." He said agreeing._

" _What if this belly doesn't go down…or back to the way it used to be? What if you find some other women that can have sex with you and is skinny."_

 _Dylan looked at her and shook his head, "You know that's not going to happen. Brenda." He breathed, cupping her face now. "I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. This." He set his hand on her belly and gently caressed down the side of it, "This is a miracle. It's beautiful and it's me and you. The only person that I want to have sex with is you. Forever…in the words of Byron, You're my life…I love you."_

 _Brenda moved quickly and kissed him passionately. She moaned as she felt him grip her back, deepening the kiss. Dylan smiled seeing her turned on._

" _Turn around face the other way." Brenda looked at him oddly. But did what he said. Dylan spooning from behind. His arm wrapped around her belly and moved down. His fingers parted her lips as he circled her core finding her already wet._

" _Jesus." He chuckled and Brenda joined in, she was in the mood. He took her leg in his hand, pulling it upward, spreading her. He guided his length to her opening shifting as needed. He pushed into her slowly and Brenda moaned out loudly._

" _Oh my god." She breathed as he kept his thrusts slow and deep. He kissed the back of her head, neck and shoulder and let go of her leg as she kept it there. He grabbed her breast and squeezed gently rocking into her from behind._

 _Brenda moaned loudly, every sense was heightened. Every thrust causing goose bumps down her body._

" _How did you know this would work? This position" She closed her eyes and felt her orgasm approaching already. It had been awhile obviously. They had tried all the others to no avail._

" _I googled it." He groaned loudly into her ear as chills shot down her body._

" _God bless the internet." She breathed and then moaned pushing her back side into him._

 _Dylan laughed quietly and pushed into her faster. His hand gripping her hip then after a few thrusts they fell apart with groans and moans in sync._

 _They lay attached catching their breaths. "God I almost forgot what it was like." Brenda breathed._

 _Dylan kissed her head. She turned to look at him. He kissed her gently as her hand found his face, "I didn't." He breathed against her lips. "My life…I love you."_

 _Brenda closed her eyes and smiled before kissing him again, "My life…I love you too."_

Brenda's head shot up as she took in her surroundings. She breathed out loudly and whimpered. It was just a dream. She listened to the silence of the ICU in the middle of the night. The beeps from Dylan's machine, the breathing machine, moving up and down like an accordion. She cried silently looking at Dylan, still frozen. She crawled carefully, picking up his arm. She lay on the side of the bed bringing her head to his chest, wrapping his arm around her like he would have done any time she cuddled to his chest. She cried silently and closed her eyes. "My life…I love you." She whispered tearfully closing her eyes.

Brandon sat on the couch in his old home he used to share with Kelly. Nate and Alyssa had asked him to spend the night after getting home from the hospital. The kids were a mess. They were close to their uncle and close to their cousins. It took a long time of talking and tears and double scoops of ice cream to get them to finally call it a night and try to sleep. His old house was now quiet as he sat on his old couch. His bed for the night. He thought of his sister and wondered if he should have stayed with her. She had told him to go home. To make sure the kids were okay but Valerie had offered to stay there anyway with them. So here he was thinking of his friendship with Dylan, staring off into nothing, thinking about his nephew and niece and his sister.

"You ok?" Kelly stood in the archway, a robe tied around her slender frame.

Brandon looked up at her and shook his head.

Kelly breathed out and moved towards him, sitting next to him in silence.

"Why is this happening? Why him?"

Kelly looked over at him. Tears in her eyes, "I don't know." She whispered.

Brandon turned slightly so he could face her, "You know…if you would have told me twenty years ago this was Dylan's fate. Dying in a hospital at 43 years old. I would have believed you." He whispered the last part. "Dylan put his body through the ringer. But…now here looking back, he's been good. He's fit, my sister cooks almost every night. He is in shape, he still has it in him to play basketball with Nate and Byron and box. I mean…I just don't get it."

"I know. Why does anything happen? Why do people die in car crashes, why do children get diagnosed with cancer? No one knows." She wipes her tear quickly.

Brandon squeezes his eyes shut, tears running down his face. "I think about those kids. I'd help raise them as my own…he knows that…but it wouldn't be the same. Eliot wouldn't have her father walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. Byron wouldn't be able to go to him for girl advice or when he wanted to settle down and propose to his future wife. It's not fair that they might not get to have it."

Kelly broke down, "I know." Brandon pulled her in and hugged her and she cried out loud. "I don't want you to be angry with me but my heart is breaking. Dylan has always been a good friend to me. And even when we were more than friends, he was special to me."

Brandon nodded against her head, "I know." He whispered.

Kelly moved away and looked into Brandon's eyes, "I don't love Dylan like that. But I do love him."

Brandon looked down, "Please don't be angry." Kelly begged.

Brandon looked up and shook his head, "I'm not angry. We all love him. He is family. He's always been family."

Kelly nodded and they hugged again, breathing out trying to calm their tears.

"I worry about Brenda.…she won't make it." Brandon says quietly, truly believing it.

"Bren is stronger than you think she is." Kelly pulls away and takes Brandon's hand.

Brandon looks down at them intertwined. He looks back into her glassy blue eyes, "She isn't as strong as you think. And who knows that fact better than me is…Dylan." Brandon exhales and moves his arms around Kelly bringing her to him as he leans back into the couch.

"Today…when I listened and watched Dylan say goodbye to his family. Myself included, the thing he kept saying to me…Eliot and Byron…was take care of your mom…take care of your sister…he looked at me with tears in his eyes, so much truth, honesty and fear in them, he said Bran…take care my girl." Brandon whispered. "And I haven't been able to think about anything else. How am I suppose to do that? How am I suppose to take care of Brenda…when she is losing the love of her life. I can't even fathom it. She will never love again, she won't date, she won't remarry…I know her. She'll be a widow for the rest of her life. I know its dumb to think like this but I promised him I would and I don't know how to do that. There is nothing I can do to make this better. Nothing. How am I suppose to take care of her?"

Kelly looked up at him, "we'll all help you." She whispered.

"We?" Brandon shook his head and groaned. "Ah Kel…if this hadn't happened I wouldn't be here."

She nodded, "I know. Life is too short be angry and hurt all the time. Whatever happens with us Brandon. You'll always be a part my life. We have kids, we have a family together. I'm a Walsh…we stick by each other."

Brandon smiled sadly and took a deep breath, thinking about what he promised Dylan. He looked at her, his eyes burning into hers, "You know I love you Kel. I've always loved you."

Kelly stared at him taking a deep breath, after a moment she nodded as tears spilled down her face, "I know you do Brandon. I know you love me. And I love you too, you know that, deep down you know it too." She whispered.

Brandon looked at her and took a deep breath, "I know you do." He leaned in and gently pecked her lips. He pulled her into his chest again. Kissing the top of her head. It was a step in the right direction.

Valerie looked into the windowed glass doors of Dylan's room. She saw Brenda laying in Dylan's hospital bed sleeping cuddled into him. Her heart broke as she moved towards it. She carefully balanced both coffee cups as she pushed it open. She made her way in and stood by the bed looking down at them.

"Bren." She whispered.

Brenda slowly opened her eyes and looked at her. She got up slowly looking down at Dylan before moving both legs off of his bed.

"I must have dozed off." She pushed her fingers through her hair.

"I brought you something." Valerie handed Brenda the coffee cup.

Brenda smiled at her, "Thanks." She whispered taking it to her lips and taking a sip. She made a face, "What is this?"

Valerie held up her cup to her in an air cheers, "An Irish coffee. I figured you needed something a little stronger."

Brenda chuckled sadly and sat in one of the chairs near Dylans bed. She took another sip.

The hot liquid with alcohol burn warmed her insides, "Thank you. It's actually good." She smiled and exhaled.

She looked at Dylan as silence filled the hospital room. She looked at Valerie who was staring at Dylan too. "Anything new news about Dylan?" Valerie asked tears in her eyes.

Brenda shook her head, " No change…the doctor hasn't done rounds yet though. You're up so early." She sipped her spiked coffee again.

Valerie nodded, "I couldn't sleep no matter how comfortable your bed is." she joked.

"How are the kids?" Brenda asked sadly.

Valerie shrugged, "Quiet. I did see Aidan in Eliot's bed this morning though." She clenched her teeth scared of a reaction, "They were clothed…it was sweet…what can I say I'd be a bad mother, He was holding her." Valerie looked guilty.

Brenda grunted a laugh and shook her head. She shrugged, "Any other time I might have cared. But right now that just doesn't seem that major. They're 17, Eliot is heartbroken about the future of her father…I would would have done the same with this guy."

Valerie nodded and silence reigned over them again. "How did you get in here anyway?"

Valerie smiled sipping her coffee, "I told nurse ratchet I was Dylan's sister." She shrugged, "I'm a good liar. Now Erica's probably fucked." Brenda laughed, probably the first real laugh in over a day as she looked at Valerie. She knew she was kidding there wasn't a limit and these nurses didn't know how many sisters Dylan had. Brenda looked at Dylan.

"I keep expecting him to wake up. Yell at me, tease me…kiss me…try to grab my ass…something."

Valerie smiled, "I'm sure he hears you right now and he's probably thinking something like…I hear you Bren…and yes I'm thinking about it too…let's do it." Valerie tried to talk in a man voice unsuccessfully.

Brenda huffed a forced laugh, "Maybe." Brenda swallows. She signs exhausted getting serious again, "What am I going to do Val?" She whispers. Tears fill her eyes quickly as she looks at her long time friend.

"I don't know Bren. But…you can stay positive you know."

Brenda nodded, "Im trying…I keep making these bargains with whoever is listening. Dylan…God…Jack…fuck with my luck probably Toni."

Valerie breathed out, "Toni…better not be here." She joked.

"His dad was…or at least that's what Dylan said. Do you believe in that stuff?" Brenda looked seriously at Valerie.

Valerie shook her head, "I don't think so…but what do I know?" Valerie thought about it, "What are you bargaining?"

Brenda shook her head and huffed out, "I told Dylan last night. I'd give him another baby if he came back to me. I told God…I'd never ask for anything ever again. I told Jack to fuck off he wasn't taking him, he already had his lost time back. Shit the guy died twice. Dylan had a relationship with his father for years before he passed away. With the kids, with me. Jack was around."

Valerie smiled, "And Toni?"

Brenda smiled sadly, "I told her to fuck off too. If there is a heaven, he isn't going with her to spend eternity with her. She's been replaced." Brenda bit her lip feeling guilty for saying it but absolutely meaning it.

Valerie laughed, "Oh Bren…if Dylan heard you, I bet he's laughing his ass of at you."

Brenda looked at Dylan, "Probably."She smiled a sad smile and took a deep breath.

Silence fell over the two of them again. "I miss him."

"Me too." Valerie admitted. "He usually would be breaking my balls already. It's not real…this whole thing…doesn't seem real."

"What am I going to do without him Valerie? He's been my everything for so long." Brenda sobbed out as Valerie moved quickly next to her. She wrapped her arm around Brenda, "I don't want this to be it. There has to be more. He's been a part of me forever. He's been the only one for all my life. I wanted to grow old with him. We wouldn't get to do that. I'm just gonna grown old…alone…what am I suppose to do?" Brenda whispered.

Valerie hugged her tighter, She looked at Dylan's still form, "I don't know." She started crying too. She shook her head and leaned out from her. "I wish I had an answer for you but you aren't alone Brenda. You'll never be alone."

Brenda looked at her sadly, tears running own her face. "Besides…we can both grow old together and be like the golden girls. We can both be blanche and fuck old men." She tried to lighten the mood even though both girls were in tears.

Brenda cried through her laughter and she laughed loudly. Then Dylan's monitors beeped like crazy. She stood looking at his vitals. His blood pressure moving up. She grabbed Valerie's hand.

"He did not like the idea of you fucking old men." Valerie said both serious and teasingly. They watched his blood pressure rise higher, the beeps getting faster. Valerie rushed out to get a nurse or doctor as Brenda took a step towards his bed.

"Dylan?" She whispered, He started to move, thrashing. A doctor and 3 nurses came rushing in as Valerie watched with wide eyes from the hospital door. They tried to hold down his arms as he tried to pull his breathing tube out.

"Calm down…Dylan…Calm down." The nurse pushed a syringe into his IV and Dylan calmed slowly. Brenda's hand went over her mouth.

"What did you give him? He was waking up." She yelled loudly.

The doctor ignores her, "Dylan…do you hear me?"

Dylan nods once, his eyes open and close slowly. Brenda watches crying in the corner her hand still over her mouth.

"His blood pressure is stabilized." The nurse says.

"Dylan…can you look over here?" He turns his head. He follows the voice of the doctor then his eyes meet Brenda's. Her hand drops, her chest heaving with heavy breaths. She takes a step towards the bed not caring she is in the way. She reaches for his hand. He squeezes it back. Dylan looks at the once empty seat by the door. His father smiles at him. He winks and the nurse steps in front of it moving across from it and then…he's gone.

"Alright Dylan…were going to pull the tube out…can you cough for us?" Dylan does what he is told. His eyes on Brenda again. He squeezes her hand and Brenda smiles through her tears.

The doctor and nurses fuss over him for a few more minutes with plans to come back to draw blood and run some other tests. Brenda looks at Valerie, "Call Brandon…the kids." Valerie nods quickly and heads down the hall. Brenda moves slowly and sits beside him.

Tears fall uncontrollably she wants to talk but her emotions come over her quickly. Her head leans down as she cries on Dylan. Dylan closes his eyes, his hand moving to her head.

"Fucking old men?" Dylan whispers softly.

"Another Baby?" Dylan breathes, his throat sore from the tube.

Brenda's head shoots up his eyes burning hers… _shit._ He heard her bargaining.

 _TA DAAAAAA Like I would kill Dylan…AS IF! We lost Luke Perry I would never let life intimate art. Dylan deserves to live on forever. So…Jack…Dylan heard Val…heard Brenda…what else did he hear? Dylan isn't out of the woods right now. He's not leaving the hospital that soon. BUT he isn't dying. I did want to thank everyone who reviewed. I knew this was a touchy subject. We are all hurting still and I know it was emotional. I cried the whole freaking day writing the last chapter. I cried at the beginning of this chapter too. Anyway. Thanks for trusting me and we'll find out some things about Dylan's dreams and well close to death stuff. I watched the season 5 episode of the Dreams of Dylan McKay. Interesting stuff when he was in his coma. I always pictured all of Valerie's parts would have been Brenda but she was gone already. Anyway hit review my beauty's!_


	34. Chapter 34

_Dedicated to the amazing Luke Perry._

 _ **Chapter 34**_

 _ **Soon**_

 _January 2, 1992_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _What a difference a year makes. As of November it had been a year since I got this thing. I've continued writing in it to my surprise. Last January I was getting loaded, throwing up and wondering what Miss incandescent was doing. Well Brenda is still incandescent but she's all mine now. I haven't touched alcohol in awhile…still doing AA and working the program. Things are going well in my relationships and my life. I have a relationship with my dad now. Yeah he's in jail but I write him and plan to visit him when I can. I didn't spend New Years alone either like last year. Brenda and myself actually spent it with family and friends at the Walsh house. It's been a regular occurrence these days. None of the gangs family do any sort of traditions really so its natural we gravitate there. We all had apple cider in champagne flutes, Cindy made some good food, we watched the ball drop in times square and kissed at midnight. Brenda and I vowed to make the next year one of the best ones and I told her she was everything to me. I told her I loved her with all my heart and soul and kissed her. Long and hard and passionate not giving a shit her parents were there. To be honest they didn't seem to notice because Jim and Cindy looked like they were doing the same. To be honest I don't think we noticed anyone around us when we were lip to lip. The whole living room disappeared. I do know who kissed who because it was a thing they all agreed too. Steve and Kelly had their midnight kiss, David and Donna, and Andrea and Brandon. Innocent stuff really from the looks of it since after the stroke of midnight the only ones still kissing were me and Bren. So Happy New Year! Here's to a drama free and happy year! My dad back in my life, The Walsh's and Brenda._

 _Dylan_

Brenda gripped the book to her chest. She looked at Dylan. Breathing soundly, evenly finally, it was music to her ears not hearing him struggle to breath. She looked down at the journal again a small sad smile spread across her face, pleasantly happy and surprised Eliot had accidentally left it there. Brenda had insisted the twins go back to school today since Dylan was doing a little better.

Brenda turned the page, she had read through up until Eliot had left off in it's entirety, going back to a happy time for her and Dylan. A time in high school before the drama, when Dylan was crazy about her and she was crazy about him. Brenda hadn't read this journal in a long time but she remembered how she felt reading it all those years ago. She remembered living through it but seeing it through the eyes of her true love was a whole different experience.

 _January 9, 1992_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Brandon has talked Steve and I into playing hockey for a league here in LA. It was actually a lot more fun than I had anticipated. Brenda is still working at that boutique on Rodeo and she's really liking it. Her boss Deidra is taking her under her wing. Teaching her the ropes and Brenda is spending a lot of time with her so when Brandon asked me if I'd join the team I said yes right away. It was something fun to do with the guys, something different that takes me out of my element a little. Brandon is all about hockey. I know he played in Minnesota so when he found the league here and because my free time was more open since Brenda was working her sexy little ass off, I decided to give it a try. I was sort of a natural but Steve sucks. I know that's mean but he really does…poor guy. He spends more time on his ass on the ice than on his skates. Jim is coaching and that's been pretty cool too. Jack never did things like this so Jim is giving me that father son bonding I didn't even know I missed. Brandon met a figure skater and let me tell you…Emily who? I think its safe to say he's moved on because the way he looks at her…he's in love. He battled her in a race around the rink, who could skate around it the fastest. Brandon kept up well but Trish…that's her name, won by a land slide. HAHA I was cheering for Brandon but its always awesome when he loses. Thank god this diary is only for my eyes because he'd kill me HAHA. But it is always a good time to see Brandon, the always right, always doing the right thing, fail at something. Shhh don't tell him._

 _Dylan_

Brenda chuckled and looked towards Dylan again. She stared at him, the curve of his broad chin, the sharp outline of his nose. He was and will always be the most handsome man she has ever seen.

"Brenda?" She turns towards the familiar voice.

"Iris?" She whispers. Tears threaten and sting her eyes. Brenda gets up and moves quickly, her arms are around Iris McKay in an instant as she sobs into her neck. A scene she had just done days earlier with her own father when Dylan was in surgery.

Iris's hand comes to the back of her head, "Shhh…it's okay." Both women are quietly crying now as the lean away from each other. Iris's hand comes to Brenda's cheek. "How is he?" Her voice cracks.

Brenda looks at a sleeping Dylan quietly, where does she even start?

"Why don't we let him sleep and you can fill me in." Iris smiles at her, "Let me buy you a cup of coffee." She says wholeheartedly seeing how run down the usual put together and beautiful Brenda is.

Brenda nods quickly and wipes her tears, Iris wraps her arm around her shoulder tightly and leads her out of the ICU.

Brenda and Iris sip from their cups as they sit across from each other in the hospital's cafeteria. Brenda continues to explain, "He is doing much better since his surgery but he is still very sore. They started him on dialysis hoping to kick start his kidneys. One is showing failure from his blood pressure being low for so long." Brenda swallowed hard and looks into her cup. "I was so scared Iris." She shakes her head, "I didn't know what I was going to do if I lost him."

Iris's head tilts sympathetically. "I know sweetheart. You two share a soul now. But you are strong Brenda. So much stronger than you know."

Brenda sighs, "I know I wouldn't want to live without him. I know I couldn't live without him." Iris's hand stretches across the table and covers Brenda's.

"I'm happy we don't have to find out. When I got the call from Brandon it felt like my heart stopped." Iris lifted her tea to her lips, removing her hand from Brenda's, "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I had wanted to be out here days ago. Getting back to the LA wasn't easy coming from Peru."

"Peru? You weren't in Hawaii?" Brenda said confused. She was wondering why Iris wasn't there quicker but she had been so wrapped up in Dylan she hadn't even thought to ask Brandon about the call.

Iris smiles, "I have been in Peru for a month studying the shaman. The Peruvian Shamans and healers have prepared individual and group workshops where I have learned the meaning of life and mother earth. It's been wonderful and very centering."

Brenda looked at her eccentric mother-in-law. No matter how much over the years she has tried to embrace Iris's way of life she still always found a way to take it one step further. Like how Brenda started reading her daily tarot cards that were given to her by iris for her birthday one year. Then it was the crystals. She started setting them around the house to clear negative energy. Well that was until Dylan had a conniption fit when iris took it a step further and wanted Brenda to join her on a spiritual retreat where she would learn to cleanse her crystals. Yeah Dylan was supportive but not in anything that was going to take away his wife for a week to find herself. Brenda smiled hiding her, Oh Iris you are too much thought. Iris continued, "It was truly amazing. I learned about the shamanic wisdom teaching from the hand of the Andean shaman healers. I was able to reach a deep connection with Pachamama (mother earth) and become stars of light, I learned how to work with my energy, and clean the "HUCHA" (heavy energy) and convert it into "SAMI" (light energy). I worked with my profound inner self and became one with mother earth. I bet some of their teachings could really help you Brenda. Honey your energy is so dark and sad."

Brenda cleared her throat. She loved this women but it seemed her month in the jungle has brought Iris up to the heavens more than normal. Brenda decided to change the subject.

"Where's Erica? I thought she'd be accompanying you?" Brenda took a sip of her coffee.

"Oh." Iris shook her head and took a deep breath. "She is coming, I think its taken her some time to get the nerve up to come see Dylan. She really took this scare hard. First she took off for a couple of days in true McKay fashion." Iris joked, "But when she finally returned home, she got a hold of me in Peru and had me help her make travel arraignments. She should be here later this afternoon."

Brenda nodded quietly. Silence reined over them for several minutes. As Brenda thought about Dylan. She hadn't been away from his bedside much and she was getting a tad antsy. "Brenda." Iris breathed. She looked up at her, "Dylan is going to be alright. I know he is. I feel it in my heart. Your story with Dylan is not over." She gives Brenda a sad smile.

Tears fill Brenda's eyes as she returns the same smile to her crazy but special mother in law. "Thanks Iris."

"How are my beautiful grand babies doing with all of this?" Iris asks serious now.

Brenda takes a deep breath, "They're doing…okay. Better than a couple days ago. I made them go back to school this morning. Dylan needs to rest as much as possible and them being here was keeping him from doing just that. He was worrying too much about them, how they were doing…stuff like that. I do make them go home at night too, I think it's important that they are resting and processing all of this too. Valerie has been staying at the house, her and Brandon and Kelly have been helping a lot."

Iris nodded, "And you sweetheart? Have you been home much these past few days?"

Brenda sighed, "No…I haven't left his side since he was brought in. Kelly brings me clothes and the nurse Anna, she's been wonderful. She told me that I can use the patient bathroom and shower in Dylan's room in secret since he isn't up and using it now."

Iris stares at her daughter in law, "You know I love you like a daughter Brenda. You need to take care of yourself too. I'm here now, I can help stay with Dylan over night sometimes. You can be at home with the children, sleep in your own bed…" Brenda was already shaking her head.

"Iris…I appreciate it. I really do but I can't…" Brenda's tears spill down her cheeks, "I can't leave him."

Iris nods understanding. Silence falls over them again, "Shall we go see him?" She tries to change the subject. She is here to help if needed but also to see her son. Her heart broke when she heard about this. She feared she would never see her son again. She feared for Brenda, Eliot and Byron but sitting here with Brenda has taken that anxiety off a little. She knew in her heart, she wouldn't leave his side. They've been inseparable for years. Brenda nods politely and they walk arm and arm back to the ICU.

Brenda enters Dylan's room to find him awake reading the Journal. She smiles just as he looks up. His eyes meeting hers. A small smirk on his handsome face. "There is my beautiful wife." He closes the journal in his lap, "Where did you go baby?"

Brenda walks closer to Dylan's hospital bed, "Went to get coffee, I'm sorry I was gone when you woke up." She sets it down on the end table and leans in to kiss him.

She pulls away slowly as Dylan looks at the sadness in her eyes. "Don't be Bren…you've been here every minute of everyday. Don't you want to go home rest, sleep in our bed? I'm worried about you." Dylan says seriously. His hand caressing her cheek.

Brenda hides her emotions, "Come on Dylan, just get better, you don't have to worry about me."

"Well…maybe not…but I do. It's habit." He smiles his trademark smile but sees her sadness still in her eyes, "Come here." He reaches for her. Brenda sits on the bed and allows Dylan to pull her into him. As soon as her head hits his chest carefully her eyes close as she inhales him. He kisses her head softly. "I know you're scared baby. I'm right here."

Brenda's head lifts up as she looks into his eyes, "I can't lose you." She whispers.

Dylan's head tilts to the side taking her in. They both know they've had quiet a scare. Dylan doesn't know what his future is but the doctors seem to be optimistic that the worst is over. Instead of lying that she wont lose him, that he isn't going anywhere, he leans in and kisses her. What starts out slow turns into something more passionate in a instant. Dylan's hand gripping her thigh hungrily. Brenda chuckles a little trying to pull away. "Stop Dylan…you can barely move." She jokes as she feels what this is turning into.

Dylan smiles, "When it comes to you…I can move." His eyebrows raise and he goes in to kiss her again. The feel of his lips on her neck causes her to close her eyes and breathe out. He reaches up and gently squeezes her breast as his lips find hers again. "When do I get to knock you up again?" He whispers.

"Dylan." Brenda shakes her head with a smile.

"You promised." He reminds her.

"I know…I know." She playfully rolls her eyes. Dylan kisses her hungrily. His hand caressing her breast gently again. Dylan groans turned on.

"Well well…this is more of a relief than it should be" Iris smiles wide as Dylan and Brenda's slowly separate hearing the familiar voice. "Looks like you're feeling better?" Dylan's hand comes off Brenda's breast like he touched a hot plate.

Brenda chuckles uncomfortable, "Oh yeah…your moms here." She adds a little to late as Dylan looks at her. His eyebrows raise, his eyes widen, _thanks for warning me,_ he tells her with his eyes.

Brenda flashes him a wide grin as she gets up off the bed. Iris had to take a call, it wasn't her fault his lips and sexiness made her forget for a minute.

"Oh Dylan honey, how are you doing?" Iris comes in now, her hand goes to his cheek as the seriousness of the situation comes back.

Dylan pulls away a little, "Mom…I'm fine." Frustrated by her interruption.

Iris grunts a little, "You're still a pain in my ass." She says with a smile.

Brenda chuckles, bringing her coffee to her lips taking a seat in the chair next to the bed, "Tell me about it." She jokes.

 _January 23, 1992_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Okay…Okay don't throw shit at me. I love Brenda. She's beautiful, loyal, honest, sexy as sin, sweet, smart, compassionate and has an amazing body…but she can't drive worth shit. Brandon was my last line of defense. He told her she could drive his stang if he wasn't using it. Well that's all fine and dandy BUT there is going to come a time when she is going to want to drive my Porsche and I just don't think our relationship is that strong._

Brenda's eyes peak up from the journal as she stares at Dylan. "What?" Dylan's hands come out as he shyly smiles.

"Not that strong? Rude." Brenda gives him a dirty look.

"Baby…come on. I let you drive the Porsche eventually."

"And you complained the whole time." Brenda got defensive.

"Are we really going to argue about something that happened close to thirty years ago?" Dylan reached for her hand, "Baby…we're married we drive each others cars all the time. We share a bank account for god sakes. You know how I felt about that car back in the day. It wasn't personal, I let you drive it which means I did indeed think we were strong enough." Brenda softened but still was visually hurt. "Keep reading." He urged her.

Brenda takes a deep breath and looks down and begins to take over where she left off reading the journal out loud.

 _Brenda got into a little fender bender. She is okay, Brandon's car is okay but she did it to a lady named Rose Marie. She insisted she was fine but come to find out she tried to sue the Walsh's. Claiming whip lash and pain and suffering. Now we visited her and I know it killed Bren to see the woman in pain but Jim was very clear to us not to have any contact with her because there is a lawsuit involved. Well tell Brenda to not do something and all hell breaks loose. I refused to drive her over there, she got pissed at me and said she'd take the bus. I don't like to admit I was wrong but boy did I wish I had taken her. The women Rose Marie, was fine. Lied about being hurt, was actually involved in 14 accidents in the last 3 years and is a total scam artist. I guess I owe Brenda an apology. Now on to the next subject, with all this talk about Brenda and driving I had been out of the loop. Brandon joined the track team but found out there is Steroid use going on at West Beverly. Steroids! Do those guys know that that shit will shrink your gonads. I mean…seriously…it will literally shrink your balls. It causes aggression and man boobs, also it causes impotency. I mean yeah kids aren't in the near future but I would like to know those puppies are in there and swimming strongly. What the fuck would you do that for? For a competitive edge? No thank you I like my dick and balls a decent size._

Brenda laughs and looks at Dylan. "A decent size?" She teases in which Dylan smiles and looks down.

"Well…it's not like I could put, I like my huge dick in my own journal." Dylan jokes.

Brenda laughs and shakes her head. "I forgot how many times you talk about your dick in this thing. Poor Eliot." She teases.

Dylan rolls his eyes, "Don't remind me."

 _Turns out Steve was caught up in it for a little while but Kyle folded and was the one that told Brandon. The school found out and the track team is done this year. Serves them right. That shit is dangerous and gross. Now back to Brenda. I went to her house and groveled for forgiveness. She forgave me after pouting a little and to hammer in that apology I let her drive the Porsche. She grinds the gears the whole fucking time but I learned Brenda just has to practice driving stick and it wasn't that bad. So our relationship is strong enough. I trusted her and she took extra care in handling my old girl. My Porsche might have been my first love but it's nothing compared to my real first love. Trust, communication, love and not being afraid to beg and grovel for forgiveness makes a healthy relationship. With time maybe she'll be driving my Porsche full time, or maybe just maybe my Porsche will be her Porsche someday. And with everyones gonads in proper size and working order maybe we'll all have kids that will benefit these life lessons._

 _Dylan_

Brenda looked up from the journal closing it as she stares into Dylan's eyes. "I love you." She says sweetly.

Dylan smirks, "I love you." He says back. He reaches and grabs her hand. Brenda sets the journal on the side table and gets comfortable in the recliner they have set up for her to sleep in. She pulls the covers up under her chin as Dylan hits the light button on his hospital bed. She keeps her hand firmly in his as they close their eyes. Dylan is doing okay. Iris is in town along with Erica. Brenda is by her husband's side. Throughout their life they have learned many life lessons. But the one they're learning now is Life is short, so live it. Love is rare, so grab it. Fear controls you, so face it. Memories are precious, so cherish them. We only get one life, so live it.

"Dylan?" Brenda whispers in the dark.

"Yeah baby." He whispers back.

"When you're ready I'm ready to try for another baby."

"I'm ready." He says a little too quickly.

Brenda smiles and closes her eyes as she feels Dylan squeeze her hand. Silence fills the hospital room.

"Does that door lock?"

Brenda giggles, "Dylan…you know that's not possible."

"I mean…" Dylan contemplates.

"No Dylan." Brenda laughs again, "But soon."

"Yeah…soon." He whispers.

 _Happy Birthday Luke Perry. You are missed today and everyday. Hit review my beautiful people. Next up more journals and Dylan comes home to slowly heal and try to get back to normal._


End file.
